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A/N Nerwen Aldarion: This is it, the final piece of Lavinia. This own story has been a labor of love from the beginning, over a year passed by and we made AMAZING friends through this fic. So much happened throughout this time and I cherish all of the memories. Thank you so much for reading this fic and believing in what we created. We will always be grateful.
A/N Tinuviel Undomiel: I'll never forget when my sister finally cracked and told me about this idea. She was afraid I wouldn't like it. I showed her my enthusiasm by throwing a remote at her head. The next thing I knew, we were starting this story. I can't believe it's finally over. Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all read our other stories. We have more coming up that we think you'll enjoy. I know I'll never forget Lavinia, it brought out a lot of emotions in me and I'm glad it interested all of you.
Epilogue: Die, Die Lavinia and Thy Shame With Thee
Jane was the one who drove that day, Lisbon had asked him for a favor and while he obviously hadn't been convinced, she knew that she needed to do this. She held her cross between her thumb and forefinger as she watched the scenery fly by. Her heart was pounding and she wasn't entirely sure why…there was nothing to be afraid of anymore.
And then sooner than she expected, they were there.
Her mouth went dry when Jane parked the car and all she could do was stare out the car window at the parking lot. She barely remembered it, it had been dark and hazy and she'd been in shock of course. She remembered the streetlights though…and Jane's horrified face.
"You sure you want to do this?"
Lisbon nodded numbly. It wasn't a matter of want but something she had to do, the final chapter that needed to be finished before she could finally close the book on this part of her life. "I can do this," she told him firmly before pulling on the door handle and getting out of the car.
Her knees did weaken a little when she realized she was standing on the same pavement she'd stumbled across eight months earlier. But it was the day; there weren't any cars around. The only thing familiar was Jane; he was still her safe haven in this storm.
She glanced over at the spot where Jane had picked her up and saw the sidewalk he'd stopped at. She did remember being cradled in his arms, smelling his scent and feeling a small bit of comfort in the overwhelming ocean of pain.
"Shhhh, it's okay. Everything will be okay."
Lisbon knew now that Jane had actually been lying then but at the same time…he hadn't been wrong either. Nothing had been "okay" then but now, now she was stronger for it.
Jane took her hand and she looked down at their clasped fingers before smiling up at him. She took a deep breath. "Okay, let's do this."
Somehow they made it around the building. She flinched when she saw the window she'd been looking through that night. The memories came pouring back. Standing there and watching the dancing…
Then a firm strong hand gripped the side of her head and slammed her up against the brick wall.
She'd been dragged by her hair along the sidewalk, he'd punched her in the stomach and pulled her along to the alley.
For a second all she did was stare into the horrifying place where she had been raped. It was still dark, dirty and truly terrible. It took a lot of strength to not break down and cry, it didn't stop the lump in her throat from forming or the memories of being thrown on the ground, her head slammed into the concrete and then her violation.
Those memories were never going to go away.
She walked into the alley and stood next to the spot where it happened. She could find the nerve to stand on it, by she stood by that small square footage where Sanford and forced her to the ground and raped her.
The blood was gone but the memories were still there.
Wounds could heal but scars would always remain.
Lisbon absently kicked a beer can and ricocheted off the wall. "They moved the dumpster," she noted, "It was right there last time." She looked up toward the roof of the building and smiled bitterly. "They installed security cameras too…boy that would have been helpful eight months ago."
Jane must have caught the slight edge to her voice because he came up and drew her into her arms. "It's okay," he whispered into her ear, her back to his front.
She nodded. "Yes it is. I needed to see it, needed to know that I could face every part of it without falling apart…and I have."
Lisbon took in a deep breath and let it out. "I was raped. That is what happened to me and it will always be a part of me…but it is not who I am." She remembered how she'd struggled with that question over the months. Who was she? She'd answered it in so many ways. She was a fool, a victim, a martyr…she was Lavinia.
But none of that was true. She was who she'd always been. Special Agent Teresa Lisbon, no amount of tragedy was ever able to take that from her.
"It's over," she declared, "it really is over. For the first time I really do feel whole again." Jane held her close and she smiled before turning in his arms to look up at him. "You did this you know?"
Jane shook his head. "No it was you."
"Take credit, Jane. I couldn't have survived this without you. I couldn't have healed without you." She smiled shyly and met his eyes. "Now I want to return the favor…I want to heal you."
He smiled softly at her and gently brushed away the hair from her face. "You already have. You've been doing it for years."
She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him, a real soulful kiss full of gratitude, happiness and most of all…love.
Love was what truly had saved them both from the brinks of despair, and that was all that mattered.
When she broke away he pressed her forehead to hers and they just savored the moment for a long while. Then she opened her eyes to look into his. "Let's get out of here," she told him.
He smiled and nodded before taking her hand once more. They walked out of that alley together.
Neither one of them looked back.
A/N: That's all folks, please review while I cry into a box of kleenex. I hope you guys will continue to read our fics as we have more ideas we are going to post soon. Lavinia might be over but more fics are to come.