Hey Readers. So this is my first fan fic and I hope you guys like it. Please Read and Review.
And I don't own any of this unfortunately.
Chapter 1 I Still Love You
Its been one year today. One year since He left me. One year since my heart was torn from my chest and crumbled to a million pieces. I thought Edward was the love of my life. I thought i would never recover, never love again. But I was wrong... It took me months to pull myself back together. Months, and of course the help of my best friend.
Its been two months since Jake left me. He was my sun. He was the very air I breathe. After the whole disaster with Edward, Jake became my everything. He was the only thing that kept me took him four long months to convince me to give him a chance and give Us a try.
We began dating five months after Edward left. After Harry died and the whole cliff diving fiasco I realized that life is too short to dwell on the past. I loved Jacob and he made me happy. I knew being together would make him happy, so together we were... Until he went and imprinted on some other girl.
I sat on the sandy ground at the cliffs starring out at the swirling water below. It was cold today, maybe forty degrees. I was pretty sure it would snow tonight. Yuck. Cold wet stuff. I'd take heat and warmth any day.
I was bored. My best friend, my everything, he was too busy for me now. It was like he had completely forgotten I even existed. So I was alone again. I hated being alone.
I hate these cliffs and the memories they hold for me. It was here that i nearly killed myself in an attempt to hear Edward. And it was here that I finally admitted that i was in love with Jacob. It was on a blanket, on a warm summer night, that i gave myself to Jacob for the first time. And it was on these god damned cliffs that Jacob had finally admitted to imprinting on a girl named Katie.
I suddenly knew I wasn't alone anymore. Not that I heard anyone. I felt their eyes. I felt him watching me and fought the urge to turn around to look at him. To throw myself in to his arms and beg him not to to punch him in the face for breaking my heart once again. Unfortunately I know from experience that that will only end in me having a broken hand.
But Jake is Jake. He's the nicest, sweetest guy in the world. So he comes and sits down next to me. I refuse to look at him. I refuse to say anything. So I simply sit there and watch the waves crash in.
Sitting here with Jake, feeling so awkward, i was suddenly reminded of our first time. Neither of us had any real clue of how to do it, so we just had to feel our way through (pun intended). I remember the way his back tensed as he thrust in to me and the taste of his skin. And the way he smelled like the forest, natural and piney. And of course the goofy, crooked smile he got after he came and said "I love you Bells. I will always love you."
It was remembering him saying that that finally got through my barriers. I like i was going to lose control. I needed to get out of here before he saw me cry. I wouldn;t let him see what he did to me, how much he hurt me. As calmly as I could I stood up and began to walk away.
"Bella, dont leave." Jake whined. "Just stay. Sit with me."
"I'm going home Jake." I responded, feeling the tears well in my eyes, but refusing to let him see my pain.
"Please Bella, just talk to me." He begged. I could hear that he had stood up and was walking towards me.
"Leave me alone Jake." I tried not to cry, but felt those traitorous tears sliding down my cheeks. "I'm going home."
He grabbed my arm, efficiently stopping me from moving. "Just talk to me." It was completely unfair how much bigger and stronger he was.
I starred at the ground, praying that he wouldn't see the tears, even if i knew he could smell them. "Let. Me. Go. Now." I spoke slowly, hoping that it would disguise the pain in my voice.
"No." He answered simply. "I'm sorry Bells, you have no idea how sorry."
"Stop it Jacob. Just stop. I dont want to hear it." I was struggling to keep myself under control.
"I never meant for this to happen." He explained, still holding my arm in his huge hand. "I never wanted this to happen." His voice was rugged with emotion. "I still don't want it."
"Please Jacob, just let me go home." I cried, tears streaming down my cold cheeks.
"Bella I still love you." He lifted my chin so that he could look in my eyes. He had tears in his eyes. My whole body was shaking with the sobs that I was struggling to hold back. "Don't you know I will always love you?"
My self control gone, I began to sob. "Please just go away. Please."
He didn't let go. He just pulled me closer to him and cried in to my hair as I cried in to his chest. "I love you Bella. I love you."
"Stop it Jake." I struggled against his strong hold. "I just want to go home."
"You are home." Jake told me. "I am your home."
I felt naseaus. Losing him was awful the first time. Hearing that he still wanted and love me felt like he was stomping on my heart again.
"Jacob." An all too familiar voice called out. "Go home now." He said with authority.
"Sam please." Jacob began. "I just want..."
"Now." The alpha timbre made both of us flinch.
Jacob immediately let me go and started backing towards the tree line, staring at me with pain filled eyes. When he hit the tree line I saw him shimmer and then explode to wolf without even bothering to remove his clothes.