Consequences. Kendall/Carlos. drama/angst. language. I don't own Big Time Rush.
Wow, this is my longest chapter yet for this story. At least I think so.
Um it's not really all that depressing so, yay for that.
Anyway do enjoy.
No beta reader, please excuse any grammatical errors.
Kendall headed in to the library, knowing that's where he would find Logan. After asking the other boy to check up on Carlos he never got a response back. So here he was, the next day, still worried about his best friend. He spotted the smart boy walking down the non-fiction aisle of the library. He jogged up to him and tapped his shoulder.
"Hey Logan," He greeted. "How's Carlos doing? You never got back to me so yeah, I still don't know. And I'm worried about him because he hasn't called me either." He said to the shorter boy, who had yet to look at him. In fact, it seemed as if Logan didn't even want to acknowledge that Kendall was even there. "Uh Logan?"
Logan mentally sighed in frustration. He wanted to turn around and slap Kendall across the face. Then probably kick him in the crotch as well. But, this was the library, and Logan had to stay a civilized as possible. "Yes, Kendall?" He asked, turning to look at the blonde. He was trying his hardest to mask his anger.
"Uh I asked how Carlos was doing…" Kendall mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows and wondering why Logan seemed off.
"Oh yes, Carlos is… Carlos is better than he was yesterday morning." The brunette answered. "Now uh, I have to grab a book for my next class, so I can't stay and chat. Bye." Before Kendall could say anything else, Logan grabbed a random book, scurried up to the checkout desk, checked his book out, and left the library.
The blonde stood in the middle of the aisle, blinking. He didn't understand what just happened but he shrugged it off and walked out of the library. He headed down the steps about to walk across the campus to make it to his class early but before he did, he spotted Carlos walking away from the direction he was in. His eyes lit up and he jogged after the Latino.
"Carlos!" He called, gaining the smaller boy's attention. Carlos didn't turn around right away but instead squeezed his eyes shut. It took everything he had not to run away from Kendall. He took a deep breath and slowly turned around, seeing the blonde stop right in front of him with a relieved smile on his face. That smile made Carlos inwardly cringe.
"Hi Kendall," He greeted, his voice soft. He didn't say much after that, afraid his voice would reveal how he felt at the moment.
"Hey so, you're feeling better right?" Kendall asked. "Logan said you were, but then he like left in a hurry so I didn't get to ask him anything else." He smiled again. "But I got to see you before my next class which is even better than just asking someone else."
Carlos wished so badly that Kendall would stop smiling at him. That smiled killed him more than the blonde would ever know. "Oh yeah…I'm better, um thanks for asking I guess." The Latino's said. "I've got to get to my next class." Carlos was about to walk away from Kendall gently grabbed his wrist, causing him to stop.
"Hey, text me later, alright?" Kendall asked. "I haven't gotten the chance to really talk to you in the past two days and I don't like that." He stated, his voice soft. "So please? And let me know if you're feeling better?" Carlos just nodded and he felt Kendall let his wrist go. He gave the blonde a weak smile and continued on down to his next class.
Tears were threatening to fall from the Latino's eyes. He didn't know how to feel about his best friend anymore. He was so confused and he hated that he was. Part of him wished Kendall knew what he did wrong. But the other part of Carlos wished for the blonde to never find out. With a sigh he headed in to the building of his next class, hopping some boring lecture would take his mind off of this.
Kendall headed in to his class, sitting down at his desk. He was deep in thought, which made him glad the teacher wasn't there yet. Both Logan and Carlos seemed a bit off today and he had no idea why. The smart boy just seemed to be trying to avoid the blonde, so that wasn't such a big deal. But the Latino, he was the one Kendall was really worried about. He knew it was more than what the raven haired boy let him know. He was sure of it.
Carlos told him he was better, but he didn't seem all that better. He seemed saddened, or depressed – more than just sick. He didn't seem like the happy, hyper Carlos Kendall loved so much. And that bothered him. Especially when he didn't know why. Him and Carlos were best friends, they told each other everything. Then why won't the smaller boy tell him what's wrong?
Kendall let out a sigh. Hopefully Carlos would text him later, then maybe he'd ask. He wanted his bubbly Carlos back and he would be willing to do whatever he could in order to make that happen.
James was lounging back in the grass, when Logan walked up to him and sat down next to him. "Hey, babe." The tall boy greeted. Logan gave a small smile in the direction of his boyfriend, but then it dropped.
"So James, do you remember when I called you last night and said I had something important to tell you?" He asked, looking down at the grass.
James nodded. "Yeah," He answered, glancing up at Logan. The shorter boy sighed, really debating on whether or not he should tell James.
"Well Carlos told me something yesterday when I went to visit him. And he wasn't lying either, it was clear to know that. And well, I'm sure he doesn't want me to tell you. But I feel like I must, ya know?" James quirked an eyebrow, wondering what Logan was getting at. With another sigh, the smart boy decided to just say it. "Kendall raped Carlos."
James eyes widened and he sat up abruptly. "What?" He asked, his voice a bit louder now. Logan didn't look up at the taller boy but instead nodded his head yes. James was nearly fuming at this point. "That fucker did what to Carlos?" He asked again, almost as if he was hoping what Logan said wasn't true.
Finally the shorter boy looked up at him. "You remember what Kendall told us," He said. "James he woke up with blood on his sheets, blood. I had asked Carlos if Kendall forced him in to it and he said yes. It fits together perfectly, even though I wish it didn't…"
James stood up and paced a bit. "Damn it," He cursed. "We shouldn't have let ourselves get so drunk that night. Fuck, Carlos always has to be the nice one, doing things for other people. He should have just left Kendall at our place."
Logan was watching James pace, biting his lip as he did so. "I know, James. But you know how Carlos is. He just wanted to make sure everyone got back at the places safely." He reminded.
James stopped pacing and looked at Logan. "Yeah but in doing so he's the one that got hurt," A scowl appeared on the pretty boy's lips. "Where's Kendall?" He asked, ready to walk away.
Logan's eyes widened. "No!" He protested, causing James to stop and raise an eyebrow at him. "Carlos didn't want me to tell anyone. You can't let Kendall know that this happened. He doesn't even know what he's done to Carlos and Carlos wants in to stay that way." He explained.
James sighed, ruffling a hand through his hair. "Logan, he raped our best friend; his own best friend. How can I not do anything about that?" He asked.
Logan frowned, standing up and walking over to James. He wrapped his arms around the taller boy's waist. "I know you want to do something. I know how much we all care about each other and how badly you probably want to punch Kendall right now. But as Carlos' best friends, we should respect his wishes.
James let out another sigh as he wrapped his arms around Logan. "Fine," He said. "But, I know what Kendall did now. And I'm not going to be able to pretend I'm not angry with him." Logan nodded.
"I understand, because I feel that way too." The smart boy agreed. "I saw him today in the library and it took everything I had not to slap him across the face."
"Ya know though, Carlos can't run from this forever." James said. Logan knew he was right.
"I know," He said. "Just, give him time. Before he can confront this he'll need to be strong enough to do so."
James nodded. "Alright, but let him know that we're here for him and we always will be."
Logan smiled. "You're sweet," He commented. "I will. I'm gonna go see him after the class he has right now. I'll tell him then."
James smiled as well. "Okay," He said. "Well I'll see you later alright? I have to get a move on so I'm early for my next class. Love ya, babe." He leaned down and placed a kiss to Logan's lips then let the smaller boy go. He flashed him another smile before grabbing his book bag from the floor and walking away.
Logan was still smile as he watched James leave but then it faded. He let out a sigh as he grabbed his book bag as well and left for Carlos' class.
For once in his life Carlos wished his class didn't end. It actually did a good job at keeping his mind off of Kendall, but now that class was dismissed, he had nothing to keep him distracted. Until he heard someone call his name. He turned to see Logan walk up to him.
"Oh hey Logan," Carlos greeted with a small smile. Logan returned it.
"How are you feeling?" The smart boy asked. Carlos sighed.
"Somewhat better I guess. I mean I was doing alright, but then Kendall talked to me and well…that kind dropped my mood down a handful of notches…" Logan frowned, giving the Latino a hug.
"I'm sorry, Carlos." He apologized, and then he smiled again. "Let's go get something to eat." He suggested. "I'll buy you a corn dog." At that Carlos cracked a smile.
"Okay," He said. Logan smile again and took him by the arm, leading him to the food court. He stood in line as Carlos sat down at a table, waiting for the brunette. A few minutes later he made his way to the table with a corn dog for Carlos and a regular hotdog for himself, plus two sodas. "Thanks Logan."
Logan smiled. "Sure thing," He said, taking a bite of his hot dog. The two were pretty much silent as they ate. But Logan knew he would have to tell Carlos that he told James. He let out a sigh, catching the Latino's attention briefly. "So um…I told James…"
Carlos' eyes widened and he spit out his soda which he was drinking at the moment. "Logan!" He said. "Oh my God, why?"
"I'm sorry!" Logan quickly apologized. "But I couldn't not tell him. He's my boyfriend, I tell him just about everything. I'm really sorry…" Carlos set down his corn dog and buried his face in his arms. Logan gave him a sympathetic look. "Look, James won't tell. I know he won't. I asked him not to, and he keeps his word."
"Are you sure he won't tell Kendall?" Carlos asked, looking up at the smart boy. Logan nodded.
"I'm sure, trust me, he won't." He confirmed. "He was mad. Like really mad. He wanted to go find Kendall, but I told him not to. He also said he wants you to know that we're here for you." His voice softened by the last sentence.
Carlos smiled lightly. "Thanks. Tell him thanks," He said, and Logan nodded.
"I will," He told the Latino. "Don't worry Carlos, we'll help you get through this okay? We promise." He gave the raven haired boy a warm smile.
Carlos returned it. He was really grateful to have friends like this. But he just hoped him and Kendall would be able to return to the way they were before all of this happened.
Okay there you have it. Hope you guys liked it.
If you did please leave me a review. They give me more motivation to write :)