Here's a proper Kogan multi-fic, hopefully good since I'm still fresh to the pairing. But I am putting effort in it at least, that's what matters. Anyways, this fic kind of goes into that idea of the whole 'Be Yourself' thing, and that of course is displayed in all different forms off media. How far someone is willing to change, or not change, for someone else to gain their attention. Well, hope you all enjoy.
To not go to James Diamond's New Year's Eve End of the Year Party would be like committing social suicide.
Anyone that was anyone was at that party, the popular kids, the pretty ones, the sporty kids and the all around kind of people that people wished they could be friends with so that way they could get their chance to go to that amazing party of a party. You'd get noticed if you were there, you'd get respected and loved if you went there. It didn't matter what you did in the past, what kind of friends you were with, what kind of student you were at school or boyfriend or girlfriend, once you go to that party you're only known as one thing in everyone's eyes: worthy.
And that was exactly why Logan Mitchell wanted to go to that party so bad.
He wasn't the coolest of people, he admits that. He wasn't a jock, he wasn't a great dancer with all the swag and moves that made the girls at his school want to look at him. He wasn't the greatest talker, the most outspoken, the best dressed, the most involved. He didn't get invited to the normal little parties that happened throughout the school year, when people talked about going out somewhere on the weekend like the beach or the mall, no one mentioned his name as being one of the attendants. He was quiet, one of those kids that didn't speak unless spoken to and kept to himself. He dreaded the assignments that involved working with people because he just was afraid to talk, afraid to hear his voice try to stutter out conversation.
He was Logan. That was it.
But Logan wanted to be, he wanted to be like them. He wanted to be just as cool, as popular, as wanted. . .he wanted to be noticed. Noticed by them all and accepted into their popular group of kids. . .noticed by James especially. The brunette was just so. . .Logan couldn't even find the words to describe how majorly huge of a crush he had on the most popular guy at his school. James was flawless, everything about him just was and no one questioned it. He spoke beautifully, he moved with each poised step people would fall on the floor to kiss, his face was gorgeous, everything about the junior took Logan's breath away. But James didn't notice him, James didn't pay attention to him, James didn't knew he existed.
Logan was a nobody to James.
The only person that managed to keep Logan still on the ground and kept around was Kendall Knight. Kendall was in a way, the guy Logan wished he himself could be but was glad he wasn't. Because then, he wouldn't have ever got a chance to meet someone like Kendall. Kendall was nice, Kendall was charming, he was open to everyone. Sometimes Logan wondered how it was possible for Kendall to be friends with someone like him. Wondered how Kendall had came up to him and just started talking, talking as if Logan mattered and still does. Logan could talk to Kendall, Logan could always talk to Kendall.
Because Logan wasn't a nobody to Kendall.
Junior year was approaching the winter break, the few weeks that people would receive notice if or if not they were going to the party James was throwing and Logan just did what he did best, remained quiet and stealing longing glances at those that were talking in their cliques about what they were going to wear and who they were going to see. And sometimes he saw James walking by, invites in his hand to give to someone with a dazzling smile and to someone that wasn't Logan. The brunette probably spent minutes ticking away just watching as James handed someone an invite, then another, then another before turning around and walking pass him to go to someone else. Until there was a tap on his shoulder that made Logan jump and heart beat extremely fast, turning to see that it was only Kendall and not who he was expecting (or better yet hoping). The blond had on his crooked smile, arms crossed and Logan gave a tiny smile back to his friend.
"Hi," Logan said, taking what he needed out of his locker and closing it shut. Kendall gave Logan a playful nudge, walking alongside the brunette as they began to head towards the cafeteria and Kendall slinging an arm around Logan's shoulder.
"Christmas break is coming up, got anything planned? Besides our usual end of the year get together?" Kendall asked and Logan smiled at that. That was right, Kendall started putting together his own little party on New Years for Logan. Even thought the blond wouldn't admit the party was for Logan, the brunette knew in his heart Kendall wouldn't be doing something like just sitting out in front of the tv, eating a bowl of popcorn and just watching some old movies until it was time to turn the channel to watch the ball drop in New York. Then it ended in a couple of sodas drunken and anyone that was opting to sleep over getting ready to go to bed. And that anyone would usually be Logan, not like he had anything else to do.
Kendall's other friends might drop by but then leave a little bit afterwards to do their own thing, go out and drink, have a smoke, celebrate New Years like they should. Yet, Kendall stayed with Logan and Logan never did understood why. But he was grateful and it always made him happy whenever Kendall would throw the blanket around him as the beautiful ball made it's descent down on television, hand slipping to hold Logan's gently and once the ball dropped and the confetti was falling everywhere as the people kissed on television, he'd give him a soft smile and say 'Happy New Year, Logan. Let's hope this one will be better'. And Logan liked that.
Logan liked the hope.
"Not much, think my family and I are going down to Minnesota to visit my grandparents. What about you?"
Kendall beamed, "You know that Big Brother, Big Sister program?"
"I'm doing it. Going to be my 2012 New Year's Resolution to really help someone and well. . .thought it might be nice to do that," Kendall replied and Logan smiled back.
"Great that you are."
"I'm already matched up with one. He's older than a kid but he's still younger than me. . .he's going to be a sophomore actually."
"Really? Who is he?"
"His name is Carlos. Me and my mom asked his mom if he can have Christmas dinner with us and she said yes. . .and also if you don't mind, I invited him to come and watch movies with us on New Year's Eve."
"Why would I mind? It's your party," Logan replied and Kendall gave a small blush, almost like he forgot that little detail.
"Well you know. . .it's usually just us two and I didn't really want you feeling like. . .uncomfortable or anything-"
"I wouldn't be, it's alright Kendall," Logan replied and Kendall smiled, pulling Logan more into his body and Logan gave a little laugh at the contact, not even noticing where they were walking and bumping into someone. Someone that was tall and muscular, smell of spritzed cologne on their skin and Logan's eyes fluttered at the scent. Then his face grew heated at who they bumped into, James Diamond looking at them with a quirked eyebrow. Logan broke away from Kendall, standing a good couple of inches away and Kendall glanced at Logan confused before the hand that was wrapped around Logan went slightly bitterly back into his pocket.
"Sorry," Kendall apologized and Logan wished he was the one that would have said something first. But he couldn't even find himself to say anything now, his voice felt caught in his throat and feared it will just come out sounding like a strangled croak.
"No, it's alright. . .Kendall, right?" James asked and Kendall nodded. James smiled and Logan melted at the gesture, James leaning to the right and a tighter hold on his invites, "Hey, you were in the talent show, weren't you?"
"Yeah, I was. Wasn't very good though," Kendall said with a small chuckle and James shook his head.
"You were really good."
"Wasn't a good song."
"But I love that song."
"I was sloppy on the chords."
"Didn't even noticed a thing."
"And I was sick so my voice sounded like a frog."
"You sounded really great."
Every single compliment James gave to Kendall slowly began to make Logan feel sick. He wished he had the nerve to join the talent show, to be in it and actually be seen by his student body. But. . .he just couldn't, he just was too nervous to do it and now he was regretting it. At least James might have had an inkling who he was if he had done it, instead of talking to Kendall as if the brunette wasn't even there. "Hey, um, well this might seem weird because we don't really talk to each other but I'm throwing this party," James started, shuffling through the invitations until he found one with a 'K' on it and handed it to Kendall, "It's my 'New Year's Eve-"
"Um yeah, I know. I heard about your party," Kendall cut James off. Who hasn't heard about the party, even incoming freshman knew about the party.
"Well, if you know about it, would you come?" James asked, handing the invite towards Kendall again and Kendall's eyes flickered right to Logan at the sound of that. Logan's eyes were on that invitation, that invite he wished was being handed in his direction, that invite that only the somebodies get. . .not the nobodies. That invite James wished he was handing him with that dazzling smile going his way, that invite that would change everything for him. Make him noticed, make him more liked, make him worthy of James taking a second glance and hopefully think more of. Make James see Logan the way Logan sees James, love Logan the way Logan loved James.
That invite that was gently being pushed back to James' grasp.
"Um, sorry but I already have my own thing on New Year's Eve," Kendall replied and James raised an eyebrow.
"But I do throw an amazing party. You don't have to stay long, just drop by."
"Thanks but I really can't do that. I'm spending it with my friends and that's who I really want to spend my time with, not a bunch of strangers."
"Strangers? But most of the people that are going to be there are in our class."
"Not my kind of people I hang around with. So they're strangers. And I'm doing something important with someone on New Year's Eve."
"Not exactly but he's someone I need to start spending time with like family. . .plus, my friend." And Kendall pulled Logan in towards his body for a friendly hug. James almost looked startled, like Kendall just pulled Logan out of thin air or something and was staring at Logan confused. Logan couldn't hide the fact that he was blushing, blushing from embarrassment as James looked between them.
". . .Oh. . .okay. . .well, maybe we'll get a class together senior year and I can get to know you more. Or you can come to my spring break party, not as big as New Years but it's pretty good."
"I'll uh. . .think about it," Kendall said and James smiled, turning on his heel and leaving to go hand off his next invitation. . .he didn't ask Logan if he would want to come. And Logan felt sick to his stomach at the thought of it, James practically ignored him and only wanted to talk to Kendall. Course, everyone liked to talk to Kendall, it's in the blond's charm and warm welcome to talk to him. This 'Carlos' would be lucky to have someone like Kendall representing a Big Brother for him. He felt Kendall rub his arm, the blond looking down at him with a soft smile. "Cheer up."
"Cheer up? Do you know what just happened? What you done?"
"Yeah, James invited me to his party and I turned it down."
"But why? That's where all the cool kids are!" Logan replied and Kendall rolled his eyes, continuing to walk down the hall with arm around Logan's shoulders.
"May be where all the cool kids are but they don't mean anything to me. I like having my party with you. . .and Katie. . .and some of my friends when they drop by," Kendall said and Logan shook his head.
"You're insane, next year is senior year, wouldn't you have wanted to start off on the right foot?"
"Right foot being?"
"Popular. Sitting at the popular table, getting picked to be partners with the popular kids-"
"Well I don't care about being popular, haven't been for this long so why should I start now?"
"I would have taken that invitation," Logan replied and Kendall looked at him, eyebrow raised.
"Why? You barely know James and he doesn't know you."
"But if you're invited, that means he wants to know you and you know how bad I want to know him."
"Well if he can't just talk to you like normal and know you that way instead of just inviting you to an overrated party, he isn't worth your time," Kendall muttered and Logan shook his head.
"Not like you understand. You get all the people you have a crush on," Logan said and Kendall chuckled at that.
"Not all the people."
"Yeah. . .there's this one person I really like. . .that's another 2012 resolution of mine, to tell them how I really feel."
"Someone I know?"
"Who is it?"
"Not fair, you know my crush, I demand to know yours."
"It's a secret," Kendall said with a smile and Logan pouted as Kendall gave a laugh and steered the two of them into the cafeteria. And as the two grabbed their lunch and sat at their usual spot, by the large window where a perfect view of the courtyard could be seen and Logan could always see the popular kids over Kendall's shoulder as they ate, Logan tried his hardest not to think about the party. The party he wasn't going to yet again. No, he tried to focus on the fact that this was their last day before winter break, three weeks off before having to come back to school again and finish off junior year. That was what Logan tried to focus on, what Logan tried to concern himself with.
But when James handed out another invite to someone right behind Kendall, smiling that smile and hearing coos of appreciation from the recipient, that party was all Logan could think about.