Author's note: While in Nice I watched Downton Abbey (twice, because it's that good) and I jotted down in my notebook just before this story a quote Maggie Smith's character says. Not relevant to what's below, but amusing and I will now forever link the two. The last episode they showed ends with news coming that England and Germany are now at war, 1914.

« For these moments, you can normally find an Italian who isn't too picky. »

Télé

"You could read," Francis comments as Arthur tuts, beginning to flip through the channels again. "I do believe I taught you, and that that lesson stuck."

"I just want more Top Gear," the Englishman complains. They're under the sheets for the night, a window cracked open because Arthur isn't used to the winter being this warm. Francis has his delicate glasses on to read; « Notre-Dame de Paris » tonight, his yearly tradition leading up to going to mass in the ancient cathedral for Christmas. Arthur's thick black plastic glasses are falling off his nose, making them look more ridiculous than they normally do. "Even more « Downton Abbey », I want to know what happens in the war!"

"I'm sure the suspense will kill you."

Giving up Arthur throws the remove at the foot of the bed. "Fucking French television!" he exclaims, exasperated.

"No no, the adult channel is in the sixties somewhere," the French nation lazily informs him without looking up. "Though why watch the French fuck when you can fuck France?" There's a long pause, too long to be normal; looking up he sees his boyfriend eyeing him with one thick eyebrow raised in question.

"That was," Arthur starts, "the least sexy proposition you've ever given me, and I'm including sending Antonio as the unknowing blowjob messenger."

Francis simply shrugs. "That was a lazy day for me." His fellow nation shakes his head before fetching the remove and crawling up to snuggle under one French arm.

"Sixties?"

"Sixty-six, I think."

"Should be sixty-nine."

"We should 69." It's very painful when he slaps Francis while the French nation is wearing his glasses, even if he does deserve it.