Disclaimer: I own nothing from Final Fantasy VII.


"This occurs when the character speaks."

"This occurs when the character speaks in his/er mind."

Slight OOC from the time to time
Time of the story is not based in any of the series

Win A Date with the General!
A Special Valentines Season Event hosted by the First Class SOLDIERS
An on-going conquest for the month of February

Twelve hours of grueling lectures and drills? Valentines Eve without a little thrill? Instead of training for the upcoming SOLDIER examination on a very special day (and contemplating on how your life sucks up to the point in time), why not join ShinRa's once-in-a-lifetime event? The General will be happy to keep you company. Better than the inamorata that you have always dreamed of!

Note: The contest accepts participants within the premises of ShinRa only. Contestants outside of ShinRa will be automatically disqualified.

How to join?
Get a copy of the Special Valentines Season's brochure and form provided by Director Lazard at the 51st floor. After completing the instructions, proceed to the 62nd floor and drop the form in the green ballot box labeled "Keep It in Your Pants". Entries are checked every Saturday. Please don't forget to answer the only question! As stated in the form, "In one sentence, why are you worth of the General's time?"

Today's Notice: Registration will be closed at exactly 17:00

"Perfect." Zack snickered as he stared at the promotional poster glued right beside the entrance of the gym, and the brochure he was holding. Everything is running smoothly the way he planned it to be. This will only be the stunt that he is going to pull, ever. Although it took him awfully a lot of time and agonizing effort to convince Director Lazard and the higher ups to host this kind of event, it will all be worth it in the end. Getting permission from the higher ups was stress-free. After all, they wanted a little thrill for a while. However, he had one big problem at hand. Actually it was the only problem he saw. Drastic measures were made to persuade the highlight of the event. Yes, the one and only, the silver haired General. Truth to be told, the General acquired the information about the sacrilege from second-hand information. When the details of the event were revealed to him in fragments, according to the poor informant, he went completely in a complete frenzy. Standing utterly shocked from the General's unforeseenactions, three ruined trash bins and tattered pieces of poster papers were scattered that afternoon. There was only one person brave enough to set this blasphemy up. The General sighed. He did not even bother to call him. He was quite thankful that the procedures in the poster were simple: Contact this particular PHS number to get the special brochure. As long as the evidences of the promotional-event posters were wiped off, he would not need to force himself to escalate things.

That was what he thought.

One cheerful and lovely morning, Sephiroth woke up in a very good mood. For what reason exactly, will remain a mystery. The General did his usual morning routines with enthusiasm. Realizing that he had more time to kill before attending his duties, a hot bath was the first thing that came in his mind. As he stepped inside the bathroom and hot water ready for him to dip his godly self in, he grabbed what he needed to wash his entire self. Dipping his right foot slowly in to check if the temperature was good, he completely submerged his whole body until the chin was in level with the water. Sephiroth closed his eyed and relaxed. After a while he raised one foot as he watched toe fingers playing out of boredom. He chuckled. His eyes snapped open. He dropped his foot fast making a loud, splashing noise and stared at the wall horrifically as he realized what he was doing.

"What the hell? Get a grip on yourself!" The silver-haired shouted in his head. After which he shook his head in disbelief and chuckled once more. "Well whatever. Why punish yourself on a beautiful day? Without exact reasons on top of that, but enjoying the day would not hurt, right?"

Finally contented as the last suds of his body were gone, Sephiroth took the towel suspended at the top bar beside the tub. Wiping his entire body clean and dry, he went straight to the bedroom to get his usual signatureblack andleather clothing. If he had a housemaid to keep his complex organized, s/he would be surprised how everything seems to be in uniform. From the black curtains to the white carpet, black bed sheets to the white pillows, black-tiled bathroom to the white toiletries, they won't be surprised if the General had a thing for zebras. But the last time Rhapsodos checked, Sephiroth was not fond of animals. Or so he thought.

As the last stop, the silver-haired made his way to the kitchen to pour his heart out on cooking an adequate breakfast that can satisfy his intestines for the rest of the day. Usually, he prepared ham and toasts for a quick meal. Spending too long just for a meal is a complete waste of time. The remaining minutes of his chewing was supposed to be dedicated for him to go directly to his office to do work. Thinking about it, and finally admitting it, he was kind of.. a workaholic. A loud sizzle was made and his thoughts were now gone. Preparing a plate, fork, and knife, he grinned as he watched his prized meal feeling kind of proud. Scrambled egg sandwich, bacon, tomatoes and spinach; without a second thought, he devoured his meal. For him, this was best of his cooking that he could ever get.

After a finishing the meal and quickly washed the dishes, he made his way out of his door. He wasn't in a hurry but Sephiroth always wanted to arrive earlier than the rest. Inwardly, he cursed and realized that his boots were not worn properly. This is what he gets for hurrying. He cursed mentally. Leaning in the hall to support his balance, he quickly adjusted the boots to keep him from staggering. And then it was fixed. Everything seems to be okay now and he is ready to go. One more glance from his complex to check if he locked the rooms, he finally walked off making his way to the elevator. It was quite funny though. Were his monthly fees due now? The white note hanging in his door was usually from the dues and labs. If it was from the laboratory, he can just leave it there until the damn paper rots. If it was the dues then it will be unusual. Last time he checked, the payment was made by the end of January. Today was the second week of February. Did ShinRa stoop on the lowest level and ran out of funds? It's crazy. If anyone would dare to send him a note, the least they could do is write a formal one without the smiles and giggles.


Sephiroth stopped in his tracks.

Of course, who would dare to stick a note in his doorstep with smiles and giggles? The General caught his breath. The elevator made a noise indicating that it arrived to the floor he was stepping foot at. However, he had to settle some things first. Ignoring the elevator, he turned his heels to walk back where he came from. He cursed mentally.

One cheerful and lovely afternoon, Zack hummed as he made his way to Director Lazard's office. Finally, the event was all set! And all that Zack took was an even fight! Luckily, he did not have that much dirt(1) to sacrifice his well-being for the event. It wasn't that big and scandalous, really. Unfortunately to Sephiroth, the First-Class obtained a highly fortified dirt from somewhere and he isn't telling where he got it from. The secret was not to be exposed and it will take the General a creased honor and humiliation before he can finally get over with it. No. Actually it will not be able to get over with it.

"Zackary Fair," Sephiroth started, eyeing the raven-haired intently. "I do not intend to know why you put up with this blasphemy to the point of threatening your commanding officer. If it was something in relation to ShinRa's programs and the upcoming SOLDIER examination, you could have got everything approved with flying colors. Without conflicts. Even I would ask Angeal nicely to help you out. But.."

Zack giggled before he let his commander speak again.

"But Zackary, everything stated in this brochure is out of hand. Win A Date with the General? Valentines Eve? Inamorata? These are things that preppy high school kids do. Contemplating on the cadets and SOLDIER's life.. Isn't that a little harsh?"

"Chill man! Everything is under control. Few of my men were more than willing to help me out with this project. You don't need to ask Angeal though, he volunteered to help!" The First-Class raised his hands and made a V-sign, mentally asking the General to go along with it. "Besides, the higher-ups already agreed. There is nothing you can do about it now."

A harsh bang was met by the poor furniture in front of Sephiroth. "A Project? Zackary, what exactly the point of this?" Another bang to the nearby files. "Even Hojo agreed?"

Zack placed a finger on his chin and seemingly gathering to recall the memories of the day. He finally looked up to Sephiroth. "Well.. Hojo isn't interested with your social welfare actually. He was hesitant at first so I didn't bother to make myself repeat the question but as I was almost out of the laboratory, he ran and told me that he will be busy experimenting on something at that day anyway so we are free to hold you at our expense."

"Unbelievable!" Sephiroth roared in defeat as he slumped in his chair. How dare that old man agree with this? Now he wished that he spent the next few weeks in the labs. At least would not mind compared to this! Finally drawing the last straw, he unsheathed Masamune. Zack slightly jumped at that.

"Whoa buddy, that would not be an advisable solution to stop the event." Cerulean orbs met mako-green ones.

"There is no other way, isn't it?"

Zack nodded. "I'm glad that you know me too well!"

Recollecting the conversation once more, Sephiroth sighed. "What is the point of all this?"

"Originally, it was supposed to be a Battle of the Wits. You know, have the contenders' line up and perform or play a game. Something similar to that, but we figured it would take too much time."

"We?" The General sneered.

Zack rolled his eyes, "Angeal and Genesis, of course! Anyway this is a once in a lifetime event, Seph! It would only last for 24-hours. We won't be taking too much of the cadets and SOLDIER's time. After all, SOLDIER examination is a priority!"

The General eyed Zack, "If you know so well, then please avoid making these kinds of events!"

"—and so we all came up with one solution to pick the winner: The best one-sentence reason on why they should be worth your time!"

"And here it goes," Sephiroth inwardly sighed. He was about to run out of breath from all this sighing. Once more he stared at his subordinate. The raven-haired grinned like a total dunce, not intimidated at all. "I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

Zack laughed lightly, "Pretty much. First, because I have dirt on you. Second, I have everybody's back. Third, today is the last submission of entry. Next week, we will announce the lucky person! So there is no backing out now."

Sephiroth's face paled.

"Relax Seph! This isn't the type of date that you are thinking about. All the winner has to do is to spend some quality time with his idol, ask questions related to SOLDIER probably, and a dinner! Maybe if he is lucky enough, you guys can spar at the gym too. Oh and please don't leak the any form of answers from the examination okay?"

"Ah, so the venue will be at the ShinRa building only. That is just great."

"Would you like us to arrange somewhere private instead?" Zack simpered playfully and successfully dodged a flying book coming in his way. Sephiroth had a face of Wait until I get my hands on you. Nevertheless as always, Zack was oblivious to it.

"So are you excited now? As much as I want to explain more details and keep you company, have a cup of tea and all, I have other things to work on this evening. If you would excuse me, sir."

"Yes," Sephiroth gave a single nod without looking at Zack. "You are dismissed."

That evening Zack, Angeal, and Genesis had a lot of work to do. It was not specifically related to their work as a SOLDIER, but it was for the event. Even if they were not participating, Genesis thought they might be more excited as fuck than the participants. They laughed at the idea. Genesis is supposed to join so he could keep the General pissed. Such a lovely past-time, he thought. He had to let go of his fun sometimes. Genesis scattered the forms on the floor, handing it one by one to the raven-haired. In which Zack would check if the form procedures were followed as instructed and afterwards, he would give it to his mentor. Angeal would categorize each form. The far left side for rejected cadets, beside the far left side for rejected SOLDIERS, followed by rejected others, and the far right side for passed. After two hours without a break or two, they finished the task and all that was left to do is to review the passed forms altogether.

All in all there were 15 lucky forms chosen out of the 87 participants. Fifteen were actually serious about this. The flare in Zack's eyes brightened once again. Picking the first form up, Zack read the description:

SOLDIER: 1st Class
Hometown is unknown
In one sentence, why are you worth of the General's time?
To knock his senses off and dispatch him from his current position, for it is I that is worthy of everything he has right now.

Genesis suddenly felt a cold breeze. Angeal shuddered.

Breaking the silence, Zack scratched his head. "Well this isn't exactly the date that I had in mind. Even if the focus of the event is to interact with Seph, I don't think.. That he.. Ah—"

"No need to push yourself puppy." His mentor said. "Moving on?"

Zack nodded.

That information is confidential, yo! Ask Tseng.
In one sentence, why are you worth of the General's time?
Well I really don't know how to put this all in one sentence but it would feel satisfying for me to force the General to spill out his dirt yo, one great achievement in life if ever!

"Why the hell is that even there?" The red-headed questioned impatiently and grabbed the form attempting to crumple it but Angeal snatched before he could do anything.

"Calm down, Gen!" Zack brushed it off and handed Genesis' copy of Loveless instead. "It's not like we're going to pass him. We are Sephiroth's friends. We have to keep his sanity(2) well."

Genesis nodded.

They proceeded to review the remaining forms at hand. Some answers gave them quite a hard time, debating whether the participants cheated by using too many commas or s/he just loved using commas after every 5 words. Some answers were entertaining. They were up to the last 3 forms. As Zack was about to pick up a paper, one form slipped out from his grip and flew under Angeal's foot. The black-haired(3) SOLDIER picked it up and browsed, eyes suddenly widening as he dropped the paper.

"What's wrong Angeal?" Genesis noticed how pale Angeal was after reading the form. Slowly closing his book to pick up the paper, he read the content intently. Emitting the same reactions that Angeal has committed, he dropped the paper in the same manner.

Zack raised a brow. "What's wrong guys?" He did not bother to wait for their responses. As he can see, they were too shocked from what they have read. Curiosity filled the puppy's mind and gently, he reached the paper lying on the floor. Clearing his throat, he read out loud.

Cloud Strife
In one sentence, why are you worth of the General's time?
General, you may not be aware of it, and it would not even cross your mind for a frail-looking cadet like me, but we could probably break your bed after our hard work of the night(4), sir.

Zack paused for a moment and absorbed what the cadet had written. When it finally registered, Zack folded the reviewed and remaining papers, as well as the rejected ones and left the recently read paper at the center. Placing a rubber band to keep the papers intact and organized still, he stared at nothingness. They were all silent. Eventually, Genesis lightly scratched the floor to make some noise, the eerie silence disturbing him.

"What now?" The red-head asked.

"What do you mean 'What now?'" Zack stared and kept his poker face, although his eyes showed emotions of disbelief. Angeal and Genesis understood. "Of course we have a winner."

Panty's Sidelines: Wow, look at all the words I wrote. This was supposed to have ~1500 words only since this is my first time writing a Final Fantasy VII fiction. Besides, I feel inferior to my favorite FFVII stories. It feels like this is just a scrap compared to them but anyway I don't mind it at all now! I had to get this idea out of my head. I have lots of FFVII ideas in my head, mostly sick, and twisted ideas(5) and I figured that it has been a while since I wrote a fiction so my writing abilities are weak at the moment but still, it does not hurt to try.

On the other story references:
(1) – The dirt is inspired by Yooney's A Precious Love, from this line: "I'm more than aware of that fool's loose lips, but….let's just say Reno has an even bigger secret he doesn't want circling around. I have dirt on him and now he has dirt on me, although it is of little consequence."

(2) – Amnesia, anyone? Amnesia: Justine is driving me nuts!

(3) – I don't know how to describe him in any other way.

(4) – If you are familiar with Sekaiichi Hatsukoi (The Best First Love in the World), this will give you a hint.

(5) – Sick and twisted ideas by inspired by the one and only ForgottenHour. Wish I could write details as good as he does. I have more tormenting and sick ideas that I would love to share.

This is a trial fiction by the way. It may or may not be continued.