Perfect Is Me! Musical Fever Has Infected The Mission?

0800 hours, at the Mary Sue headquarters...

"Man that lousy General, I won't be able to sit for a week," a loud, feminine voice exclaimed from where she stood in the large, underground cave. The voice belonged to one of the Mary Sues, her full name being Aerxes A'alona Haviland, but she was affectionately known as "Mary Sue Number One". She had long, waist-length pink hair, pale skin without any unsightly blemishes or pimples. She was also a busty beauty, naturally, and also happened to be a demon princess. But that's not pertinent information.

Beside her, an acne-riddled teenage girl stood, her greasy black hair partially dyed blue, her watery brown eyes enlarged by large glasses. She smacked the Mary Sue with a rolled up newspaper, frowning. This girl happened to be one of the Weeaboos, Carmela Nixon, who also happened to be the Weeaboo leader's Girl. Man. Whatever, it didn't really make any kind of difference.

"Quiet," she snapped at the Mary Sue. This Sue had been her creation since fifth grade, and she was known to smack her quite often. "Just wait until the Leader hears about your unfortunate failure. Honestly, I thought you'd be able to push through their forces."

"They're stronger than you think," Mary Sue Number One told Carmela, rubbing at her head. "And it's not all my fault! Destiny was involved in this too." As if on cue, a large sparklewolf zoomed out from the roof of the cave, flapping giant rainbow-colored wings. The wolf went over to Mary Sue Number One and Carmela, wagging her tail and staring at them with both eyes pointed in different directions.

"She'll get what's coming to her," Carmela stated, kicking at the sparklewolf. "You know, if it weren't for those "sane" fans, we'd be running this joint."

"Man, I hate the Regulars," Mary Sue Number One muttered, crossing her arms.

"They're so pushy."

"And hairy."

"And stinky."

"And man are they, uuugly!" The two of them said at the same time, before they burst out into laughter.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," a cool voice said, and both Mary Sue Number One and Carmela turned to see the voice. It was none other than Invert, the leader of the Weeaboo army and, basically, the embodiment of all that was evil and terrible about Weeaboos. She wore a long purple cloak, and had hair and eyes that changed colors depending on her mood. As of now, they were both at a cool blue color. "I see that you have failed, Aerxes?" The Sue rubbed wearily at her head, and Invert sighed and held out a bag of McDonalds. "I don't know if you two really deserve this. I practically gift-wrapped those soldiers for you, and you couldn't even dispose of them." The three of them (including Destiny) started salivating, and Invert dropped the bag down to them. It didn't take long for them to tear the bag open and start to eat what it contained.

"Well you know, it's not like they were alone, Invert," Carmela stated with her mouth full of McNuggets.

"Yeah, what were we supposed to do," Mary Sue Number One said, swallowing a french fry. "Kill the General?"

Her hair and eyes now changing to a sinister yellow-orange, Invert grinned. "Precisely."


{The three pause from eating and look up at Invert questioningly.} {Three-top flutter to coincide with Invert's leaps down to the Hyenas.} {Invert walks calmly through sheets of flame and gas into the camera over the opening bit of the song} Invert: {Full song} {Invert paces slowly around Destiny, who is chewing on the remnants of the box of McNuggets} I know that your powers of retention Are as wet as a warthog's backside But thick as you are, pay attention {She angrily swats the bone away; Destiny comes to abrupt attention} My words are a matter of pride It's clear from your vacant expressions The lights are not all on upstairs {Waving her hand in front of Destiny's blank eyes to make her point; Destiny's tongue lolls out} But we're talking Generals and successions Even you can't be caught unawares {Carmela and Sue are laughing on a ledge behind her; on "you," Invert turns and leaps at them, throwing them backward onto a pair of geysers, which then erupt, throwing the two into the air.} {In the next verse, Invert is strutting theatrically along a ledge which runs around back to the floor.} So prepare for a chance of a lifetime Be prepared for sensational news A shining new era Is tiptoeing nearer Carmela: And where do we feature? Invert: {Grabbing Carmela's cheek} Just listen to teacher {Carmela rubs her cheek, which is now bruised red} I know it sounds sordid But you'll be rewarded When at last I am given my dues And injustice deliciously squared {Invert leaps up beside Destiny, who is again chewing on the box, and here kicks her off the ledge} Be prepared! {The three land in a pile of bones and are submerged; they reappear, each with a different horned skull on her head.} {Spoken} Sue: Yeah, Be prepared. Yeah-heh... we'll be prepared, heh. ...For what? Invert: For the death of the General. Sue: Why? Is she sick? {Invert grabs Sue by the throat} Invert: No, fool- we're going to kill her. Her little allies, too. {Dropping Sue back onto the floor} Carmela: Great idea! Who needs a General? Carmela (and then Sue): {Sing-song voices, dancing around Sue} No General! No General! la-la-la-la-laa-laa! Invert: Idiots! There will be a General! Sue: Hey, but you said, uh... Invert: I will be General! ...Stick with me {triumphant, toothy grin}, and you'll never go hungry again! Carmela and Sue: Yaay! All right! Long live the General! {Camera reveals hundreds of more Sues and Weeaboos in the shadows.} All: Long live the General! Long live the General! {Full song again} {Invert's army is goose-stepping across the floor of the cave, now stylized into a Nazi-esque quadrangle} Army: {In tight, crisp phrasing and diction} It's great that we'll soon be connected. With a General who'll be all-time adored. Invert: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected To take certain duties on board {Motions a slice across the neck} The future is littered with prizes And though I'm the main addressee The point that I must emphasize is {Leaps off her rock throne to single out one hapless Mary Sue} You won't get a sniff without me! {That Mary Sue slips and falls into a fiery crevice} {Throughout the next verse, the entire horde of Mary Sues joins in dancing boisterously, leaping along the tops of rock pillars, shaking animal skeletons in the light, one playing a rib cage/xylophone.} {The paranthetical parts are the Mary Sues' counterpoint singing} So prepare for the coup of the century (Oooh!) Be prepared for the murkiest scam (Oooh... La! La! La!) {rear ends punctuating} Meticulous planning (We'll have food!) Tenacity spanning (Lots of food) Decades of denial (We repeat) Is simply why I'll (Endless meat) Be General undisputed (Aaaaaaah...) Respected, saluted (...aaaaaaah...) And seen for the wonder I am (...aaaaaaah!) Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared (Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) Be prepared! All (Even Destiny, who can be heard growling and snarling an approximation of the lines): Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared Be prepared! {Close with a fill-in and a fade-out. Invert and the Mary Sues are laughing evilly. Drum roll rises to a crash coinciding with the panoramic opening of the next scene.}
AN: Sorry this chapter took so long, but it looks like I'll be updating normally from now on. This chapter will be uploaded in three parts.