This story takes place directly after Bella 'lunges for Jacob's throat' in Breaking Dawn. I plan for this story to cover Bella's attack on Jacob, and her catching up on the events she missed while she was transforming. I will take dialogue from the book in later chapters to further expand on some of the things covered. I always wanted to know how Bella had reacted after her attack, and I wanted to see a lot more things Edward had experienced while Bella was changing, and felt this story could cover that. I hope you can enjoy this!
My body arched like an arrow from a bow, I flew both blindingly fast and painfully slow towards the object of my fury. I could feel it building inside of me, the snap they had all been waiting for. My vision was clouded in red fury, fearsome snarls ripping through my throat, hissing through my mouth. I knew the sound should have disturbed me, even snapped me out of my wild attack like it had with the humans on the trail, but it didn't.
I wasn't the only one ripping noises from their chest. Deep, throaty growls were responding to my shrieking snarls. But my mind didn't focus on the smaller grey wolf, her teeth bared and stance aggressive. Every fibre of my being, every corner of my now enlarged mind was focused on a single thing. As soon as the unbreakable anger had flooded through me, my body was in the air. Despite my clawed hands and bared teeth, I felt graceful. Everything physical came so naturally, instinct overriding my brains ability to control my body.
At no point I had made the choice to attack Jacob. I had just felt the overwhelming anger build up to be too much, and then I was flying. Everything seemed to move so quickly around me, yet time seemed to stand still. My body had all the time in the world to feed off of this anger, but no time to rein it in. At no point did the thought cross my mind that I might be overreacting just the tiniest bit. I bared my teeth further as I closed in on my target, shocking hisses passing through them. Discomforting sounds, yet ones which were so natural to me now.
Jacob stumbled backwards, his arms raised up in defence, as if to contain me. I had enough knowledge of my strength to know that his tender, breakable arms would be no match for my strong, clawed hands. His face was confused, but more frightened than anything else. A cynical smile played on my lips, seeing his defencelessness. In that instant, he wasn't my best friend, or the boy who had given up so much to save me. He was my enemy, the target of my anger. I was both totally aware and completely oblivious to the sounds around me.
"Edward, please stop her," Esme pleaded, her voice drenched with worry, for Jacob or me, I did not know. There was a throaty chuckle coming from a little while away. Emmett, I presumed. I could hear Carlisle anxiously worrying, not knowing whether to step in. Above all else, I could hear a fluttering heartbeat, now much further away. Away from the crazed, out of control newborn. Snarls were erupting from Leah, Seth snapping at her as she crouched to attack me. I could hear the speedy heartbeats of Jacob's as he still backed away from me, not even phasing to protect himself. Did he want to die!
As soon as my feet had left the ground, I could hear the whooshing of wind around me as someone else had flown through the air. Although the sound was coming from my side, I couldn't focus on it. Raw with strength, I flew blindingly fast through the air. An instinct stronger than before had taken over. I couldn't have been able to stop myself from proceeding, even if I had calmed down enough to want to stop.
A large, sandy shape flew into my path, blocking my view from Jacob. Still spearing through the air uncontrollably fast, I crashed into it. There was an unconscious yelp, following by the deafening snapping of bones. At that sound I rebounded backwards, as if the shape was a brick wall to my human self, though I knew I could have crushed it to pieces. Snarls erupted from the grey wolf, so much louder than before. Leah snapped at me furiously, shooting pained gazes at her brother, now crippled on the floor. I could hear no noise coming from the sandy wolf's mouth, but I knew he must have been in pain.
As I was flying backwards, someone captured me around the stomach, their arms constraining. I was sent flying sideways, about to crash into the ground below. Now in defensive mode, my body shrieked, unable to recognise the not-yet-completely-familiar scent around me. Self preservation above all else, I twisted, throwing the shape off me. I had regained enough control not to rip the arms off whoever attacked me.
As soon as I landed, my hands spread wide and body in a crouch, a new set of arms wrapped tightly around my waist. The snarls ripping out of my chest did not fade. It was a confusing, frightening sensation, being unable to control myself. I had turned completely animalistic. All I could think about was protecting myself, not that I was the one in need of protection at the moment.
"Bella." I froze at the sound of my name in my ear, coming from the most beautiful voice in the whole world. Despite my infuriation, I relaxed slightly, knowing I was not under threat from the arms around me. Edward held me tightly in a way which was both restraining and calming. My body straightened up and froze. Finally, the ripping sound from my chest stopped. I was frozen in horror, unable to move.
Sensing this, Jacob moved. His eyes locked on me the whole time, he knelt down next to Seth where he still lay shaking on the ground. The expression in his eyes confused me. There was a lack of trust, that much was not hard to see. But there was something else, something I could not place. He didn't look angry that I had almost ended his life, he more looked frightened. Frightened by me... frightened for Renesmee, I did not know. I didn't even want to think about the latter.
Still frozen, everyone began to move around me, very slowly, making exaggerated movement of casualness. I knew what I must look like to them. Wild, and out of control. I was a threat to all of them. Waves of calm were rushing over my system, and unlike before, I embraced them. They washed away my anger, but the shock did not reside. I remained frozen in Edward's arms, unmoving, captured in shock.
I was hardly aware of Carlisle pleading with Leah to take a look at Seth's injuries. I couldn't concentrate on Emmett and Alice's arguing behind me over who won their little bet. I wasn't focusing on Jasper's hard, expectant expression, or Leah's snarls, her head still turning my way every few seconds to let out murderous growls. I tried to think of Edward arms around my waist, letting the contact between our bodies calm me down.
Staring in horror, I watched Seth's crippling form on the ground. A Broken shoulder and collarbone. Carlisle's words burned in my ears. I had done this to him. Little Seth Clearwater, so much like a younger Jacob...still only a child. And I had hurt him. I might have killed him if someone hadn't stopped me. My mind raced through thoughts of regret and crushing agony as I realised what I had done, but my face remained unmoving.
"Let's go take a walk, Bella," Edward said in my ear, his arms still tight around me. Too unable to respond, I let him drag me away from the backyard, following the edge of the river as it curled around the house. I wanted to protest. I wanted to stay and apologize to Seth. I wanted to get down on my knees and beg everyone to forgive me. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. It was best this way. They needed to get me away, keep me somewhere safe until my anger was well under control.
As soon as Seth was out of view, Edward relaxed his arms tightly, keeping one wrapped firmly around my stomach but lowering the other. I didn't know whether I deserved his trust. I could hear footsteps behind me. Jasper was following us. Of course he would. He knew all too well how newborns lived. This was the sudden loss of control he had been waiting for, expecting. Should I feel relief that it has finally happened? That I will know what to expect next time, and be able to control it? I felt no relief in me at all.
My face was still frozen when Edward paused. We were on the other side of the house now, the furthest side from where Seth was. As we had moved around the house, I could hear Renesmee's heartbeats mirroring out movement in the opposite direction, keeping far away from us. From me. Although we had no need to sit, Edward tugged on my hand lightly until I lowered myself to the grass beside him, looking out over the river, the house behind our backs. I could hear Jasper behind us still, though he was further away. Far enough to give us some privacy, but close enough if I snapped again.
As soon as I was on the ground I buried my head in my hands. I was revolted with myself, disgusted. Everything seemed so much worse now, away from what had just happened. Maybe I was just like all the other newborns out there, wild, out of control. I had calmed down enough that I didn't feel out of control but I now have an idea of what I am capable of.
"I'm a monster," I groaned into my hands, unable to look Edward in the eye when he tried to pull my face up to his. Stubbornly I resisted, keeping my head buried in my hands. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see the horror in his eyes as he realised there was a part of me which couldn't control itself. I still felt like me, but would I still look like his Bella to him. Would Bella attack her best friend? Would Bella injure the young boy who had only been trying to help?
"You're not a monster," Edward said quickly, giving up on lifting my face but keeping one arm tightly around my shoulders. "It was my fault, not yours. I should have been closer. I should have seen that Seth would put himself between you. I should have been able to stop..." I cut him off with a groan.
"Stop that. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I'm the crazed newborn who can't control her temper, not you," I said back to him, my voice gaining anger at the end. Anger directed towards myself. Another wave of calm rushed over me. It made sense that Jasper would be paying closer attention to my emotions now more than ever.
"You had every right to get angry, love. I was the one who broke my promise to you. I said I would try and keep you from doing something you would regret, and I have failed you. Be angry at me, not yourself," Edward pleaded. His habit of taking all the blame for things totally out of his control annoyed me slightly. But I knew I wasn't annoyed at him. I was annoyed at the mongrel who was probably with my daughter now.
"Stop blaming yourself. We all know this is my fault. I could have killed him! I could have killed my best friend!" I said, my voice raising. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down again. Just like a young werewolf. That was too much of a reminder for me. I focused on Edward's fingers brushing along my cheek as he tried to comfort me.
"Nobody would have let that happen," Edward said to me, pulling my body into his arms. I hiss from the other side of the house contradicted him. Rosalie, I assumed. Edward pretended to ignore it. Hearing Rosalie caused my ears to capture other conversations. Emmett and Alice were still arguing. I used them as a distraction. A very poor distraction. I should have known that the topic of my little temper tantrum would not disappear so soon.
"Who won the bet?" I asked curiously. Who in their right mind would have bet against me getting angry. At the time of the bet, they probably wouldn't have even known about my now void super self-control.
"Alice, though Emmett doesn't agree. Technically, she is right though. You didn't attack him because of the imprinting, but Emmett still thinks that your...reaction meant he should win overall."
"Ah," I said politely more than anything else. It amazed me how someone would take a bet against Alice, as blinded as she may have been at the time. Alice is usually right. Like me enjoying my wedding, for example. Never in a million years would I have thought I could have thanked her for subjecting me to such humiliation, but here I am, the day being one of the best days in my life.
Thinking of wedding brought me back to the more unpleasant topic of Jacob's imprinting. You think you'll be part of my family as my SON IN LAW. The words still screamed in my head. No matter what he said he thought of my daughter at the moment, I knew the future which would be inevitable. I had seen it with Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim. Jacob had explained what it was like with Quil and Claire. Sure, there was nothing about it. Yet.
"What are we going to do?" I asked, my tone pleading, as if something could be said to make this better. Edward knew right away what I was talking about. I expected his eyes to darken and his face to turn hard, but his expression remained the same. I could see his eyes tightening a bit, but other than that, he looked used to the idea.
"I was hoping you would know that answer to that?" Edward turned to smile at me. "We have all been wondering which side you will take." I wondered how anyone could ever think I would take Jacob's side on this. Did they really think I was that twisted? After looking back on the last few months of my life, I wouldn't blame them if they did.
"When did it happen?" I asked, my voice almost accusing. He was acting far too casual about this. Maybe casual wasn't the right word. There was no doubting that he hated this whole thing almost as much as I did. Maybe accepting was a better word. Like Edward had accepted that Jacob had imprinted on his daughter, our daughter. Edward's face twisted in what I could only perceive as pain as he answered.
"Not long after she was born, as soon as Jacob saw her. I couldn't pay much attention to it at first. I was so focused on you, getting your heart beating," Edward's voice faltered slightly at the memory. I shivered, too, though I didn't feel cold at all. It must have come from instinct, something from my human life I had carried over. "Once you were...stable, I could focus on Jacob's thoughts more clearly. As much as I hate to admit it- and I really do- everything Jacob told you was the truth. There is honestly nothing romantic about it. All he wants is for her to be happy and healthy. That is all I want for her, all we want for her."
I didn't really know how to respond. I was still furious at Jacob. My daughter was only days old. I had held her for all of two minutes, and Jacob was already claiming her as his. I knew enough of Edward to know that he shouldn't be acting this accepting of the situation. I could see the anger in his face- he was not happy about it- but he had accepted it. He has accepted that Jacob would be a part of Renesmee's life, of our lives. Something I refused to recognize right now. There was just too much confusion in my head.
"I have seen it in his thoughts, Bella. I have seen how it is for both of them. Jacob makes her happy, Bella. It infuriates me to admit it, but she needs him. How can I keep her away from someone who makes her happy? It would hurt her if I sent him away. And I can't hurt her anymore than I could hurt you, Bella," Edward explained. It sounded like he didn't have a choice. He simply had to keep Renesmee happy. And Jacob helped to make her happy. I sighed loudly.
"You seem far too accepting of this," I accused him, still lost in my own little cloud of anger, not knowing who it was directed at now. Edward laughed. The sound momentarily distracted me. It was like I had never heard him laugh before. The sound was like bells, melting its way straight to my heart. It didn't matter that I was supposed to be mad at myself, at Jacob. All I wanted was him. Right now.
"Believe me, Bella, I wasn't like this when I first found out. To know that Jacob has some claim on our child, when I had only seen her for a few seconds in person... my reaction was probably the same as yours first was," Edward said, trailing off wistfully. I could almost imagine what he was thinking, how he would have reacted with the excuse of being a newly woken newborn. I couldn't recall the number of times I had tried to throw myself in between this ridiculous want of Edward to kill Jacob. Now it seemed ironic that I was the one to almost kill him while Edward tried to defend Jacob.
"Didn't you do anything?" I asked, incredulous. My first instinct had been to attack, to make Jacob see my fury at what he had done, involuntary or not. Even though he wasn't a newborn, I would have expected Edward to do something.
"No," Edward said, as if it was obvious. He continued, seeing the following question in my eyes. "I didn't want to leave you. More than that, I didn't know what you would think. Which side you would take. I thought you would surprise me. You always do." Edward beamed up at me, my breath cutting off as it did when I was human. I felt a tiny bit of satisfaction that this had been carried over. So many hours I had spent worrying that I wouldn't feel this way for a long time.
"Hmm," I said, processing his words.
"I wasn't going to make any decisions without you, Bella. I always knew we would deal with things together. We are a team, remember?" Edward lifted my left wrist, brushing his fingers over the golden wedding band on my third finger. I smiled brightly.
"Forever," I laughed, realising how completely true my statement was. Forever. Never had there been a word which sounded so perfect in my ears.
Please tell me what you think! Reviews are the best thing you can give an author on here, even if it is just a word or two. I will assure you that I am not giving up on 'Practice Makes Perfect' and 'Distractions', my two main stories at the moment. I am only using this as a break to explore 'Vampire Bella' a bit more. I have chapters in progress for the other two stories, so please go check them out! They are my pride and joy on this site. I alternate between 'pre-honeymoon Bella','honeymoon Bella' and 'vampire Bella', so which story I update really depends on which one I am feeling in the mood to write. I promise you that I will keep updating as fast as I can, and hopefully you won't be too upset if one story gets more focus than another than a while. Please review, and thank you so much for reading this.