(This could be any couple, but I kind of wanted to tie it in with my other Steve and Evie drabble. Read, Enjoy, Review.)
He was keeping our relationship slow and gentle. He kissed my softly, always asking before he did. He seemed hesitant if he ever wanted to do something and he wouldn't to anything without my consent.
Every touch, every kiss, and every word left more to be desired. I had heard from friends tales of their exploits with their boyfriends, how teeth would be involved and how fooling around might get a little rough, but the hickeys left on necks were worth roughness. I wanted that, but I wasn't sure how to voice the need to him. I wasn't sure if he even wanted to try it that way.
He had told me it was okay for me to be honest with him and speak what was on my mind, and I'm honest with everyone, so I hadn't thought it would be so hard to speak my mind. But when I'm with him my thoughts cloud my mind and a nervousness sets in. I become afraid my thoughts will be rejected and I hold my tongue.
There is so much I want him to know, yet I find I can't bring myself to tell him. Is it too early to say some things, is it too late to say others? Is it really this difficult to figure in the relationship and the boundaries that come with it?
Honestly, if I were to find a magic lamp and I was granted three wishes, I wouldn't waste them on learning harmonica, or my father not interrupting at inconvenient times or what ever else. I would wish for the confidence that disappears around him to stay in place, I would wish for the ability to know how he feels with me, and I would wish for the power to be able to tell him what I really think of anything. But why waste the breath, when I can try and wish for anything but nothing will come of just hoping and dreaming.
Perhaps he will make the first moves and perhaps the awkwardness and nervousness will fade. Because when he holds me in his arms, the confidence stirs and I feel safe but I know that in the next few minutes he will be gone and the words I left unspoken will stay unspoken, the actions I left undone will stay undone and the time spent together will not have progressed what I wanted it to progress.