A/N : It's probably ooc because I find it hard to grasp the characters in the right way.

Disclaimer : I don't own Ouran High School Host club in any sort of way. Trust me if I did you would effing realize it.

PS: I suggest you read this right after you watch the Halloween episode, because Kaoru sounds very sad at the end of that episode so in my mind my story takes place shortly after Halloween. It just sorts of puts you in an angsty mood.

Well, most of you probably won't even read this though so it doesn't matter. Anyway, on with the story.


"Ah! Hikaru? Jeez, why are you shouting?" said a startled Kaoru, who had just been snapped out of his daze by his slightly older brother.

"I've been calling you for five minutes and you've just been looking out the window! Are you ok…Kaoru?" asked a very worried Hikaru moving closer to his twin.

"Hikaru…I'm sorry I made you worry."he chuckled " I'm fine, I just spaced out a bit" replied Kaoru a beautiful but fake smile adorning his face as he looked deep into his brother's eyes.

How much longer have I left, Hika? I just wish…

"Well, then c'mon Kao it's time to go home. Everyone else has already left except for us and Haruhi ."

"Mhm, let's go then" Kaoru said walking towards Haruhi while lightly touching his brother's shoulder. "Come, Haruhi. We'll give you a ride with the limo, ne?"

"Ano…You don't really have to do that Kaoru. I can walk. Besides I don't think getting in the car with the two of you is the best idea…" Haruhi trailed off turning to make for the door before Kaoru took hold of her shoulder as well.

"Haruhi, if you don't go with us we'll tell the king to drive you home himself every evening" grinned Kaoru.

Please Haruhi. Just please, don't make it harder than it already is.

Haruhi's chocolate eyes widened at the thought as she nodded accepting the twin's offer quickly.

For awhile they walked silently , until the mood lightened and Haruhi started some small talk with Hikaru.

Okay then, that's my queue.

With that thought Kaoru gave a small push at his friend's and his twin's shoulders as he let them walk forward while he stopped moving.

"I forgot something at the music room. Go ahead you two I'll call another car." Kaoru said as he stood looking at the pair walking away from him, not even turning to reply.

How much longer Hika? Not much. Not much at all. God, I just wish... I… I wish…

Before he realized it Kaoru was on his knees staring blankly at the floor before him. Raising his head he looked for the couple that had just walked away from him and to his relief he saw no one there.

Ah, Hika you left. That's good, brother, there really is not much longer before the spell is broken.

It will break soon, brother. You will be free. And the carriage will just turn into a crappy pumpkin. Oh how I wish for…for…

He got up keeping his head down, a shadow being cast on his face by his soft hair as he kept walking towards home. He avoided calling for a car as he wasn't really looking forward to going back there. Instead he walked slowly looking at nothing other than the blurry pavement beneath his also blurry feet.

Blurry…? Wait- Tears in my eyes? Really now I didn't think it would quite come to that.

A bitter smile found its way at Kaoru's lips as his tear filled eyes looked up only to see the gate of the Hitachiin mansion. After staring at the beautiful gothic patterns adorning the iron in front of him he rubbed his eyes making the tears that never fell go away as he made his way to his family's luxurious estate.

Once he got in the house he walked quickly to his bedroom avoiding contact with anyone. While entering his room he noted that walking home in his depressed state had actually taken up quite some time considering that it was now 22:00 . Sighing softly he walked to his bed not caring to switch on the light and he flopped on the bed still in his uniform. He couldn't really tell after how long he actually gave in to some sort of sleep, but he could clearly remember one lingering thought.

How I wish, Hika…how I wish…


Kaoru's eyes shot open upon hearing what suspiciously sounded like his beloved Hikaru's yawn.

"Morning little brother" Hikaru's voice sounded from the right side of the bed.

"Hikaru? What are you doing here?" the other twin said confusion clear in his voice.

"Ah? Did you hit your head? We sleep together almost 6 nights a week baka." Hikaru replied looking at his brother a slightly irritated expression starting to take hold of his face.

Sighing at that, Kaoru sat up on the bed keeping his head bent downwards so as to avoid the sight of his brother's probably bare torso, once again a shadow hiding his face.

"You should go take a shower, Hikaru."

Hikaru snorted.

"Are you really that concerned about my showers, or are you asking me to leave you alone, Kaoru?" he inquired not even trying to hide the tension in his voice.


Please, Hika. Please, it really is hard enough already. Don't ask, please don't as-

"And why is that, Kaoru?" bursted Hikaru interrupting his brother's thoughts "Why is it that ever since summer vacation you have been pushing me away? Why do I suddenly have to explain myself for sleeping next to you? Why is it that for the past month you haven't really smiled once? And don't tell me you thought you could fool me with those fake little excuses of smiles you have been giving me. "

Oh, Hika if you only knew how I wish… if you only knew what I really wish for…

But of course Hikaru couldn't know and Kaoru wouldn't tell him. Instead all he said was "Don't shout, Hikaru." the calmness of his voice surprising him as much as it irritated his now exasperated identical twin.

"Did you even hear a word I said? Do you even listen to me at all anymore? Wasn't there a time when we could listen to each other without even having to talk? How can you ignore me when I'm right in front of you? "

Don't do this Hika…please don't

"How can you be SO DAMN CALM?"


"WHY are you pushing me AWAY? For FUCKS SAKE, you faked illness to get me to leave you ALONE! What could POSSIB-"


Both Kaoru and Hikaru's eyes widened at the younger boy's sudden outburst as Kaoru immediately brought his hand to his mouth in shock. Not even realizing that his sight was getting blurry again he looked up seeing no more than the vague pale color of his brother's soft skin and the brown shade of his ruffled hair.

I… I…I said that out loud?

All the previous anger in Hikaru vanished as he was met with Kaoru's wet eyes filled with tears ready to stream down his beautiful face.

"K-Kaoru…?" he said reaching his hand slowly to touch his brother's shoulder, before the other pulled away shutting his eyes and clenching his fists.

I screwed up, brother. It's too late now…isn't it?

"Hikaru, stop it." He started when he felt he could compose himself a little. "I will tell you why I have been acting this way… although I really hoped it wouldn't come to that."


"No, just let me talk. Don't worry. It will answer all your questions."

And it will finally break the spell… I wish… oh, how I wish…

"Hikaru, I never wanted to hurt you and I never wanted to confuse you. I'm sorry for that . I really am. But I'm not sorry for what I tried to do even if I failed at it" looking up once again he saw his brother's face , now crystal clear for the tears were gone from his eyes quickly gathering around his mouth.

He paused a moment to take in the sight before him. Hikaru was looking right at him and Kaoru was sure this was the first time his twin looked so…so much in pain. His hazel eyes were wide and his lips…those lips that Kaoru had thought too much about over the years were slightly parted due to the previous shock. His torso was bare since Hikaru rarely put on his pajama top making his chest look shiny from the thin coat of sweat that had formed there as a result of their fighting.

How I wish Hika… how I want…

Resting his eyes on Hikaru's bare skin the younger boy continued with what he was saying, his tone calm trying to hide the agony of his mind.

"Hikaru, we have always been together, never really caring about other people as much as we cared about each other. And that was good while we were younger and could still keep the carriage from turning into a pumpkin. But… we grew older Hika. We have grown too old for the spell to keep working and the carriage has already started shifting."

Sighing deeply he searched for Hikaru's eyes again and seeing the confusion on the gorgeous face before him he smiled in such a bittersweet manner it actually hurt the other to watch.

"Heh, you think you don't know what I'm talking about. But you do Hikaru. We have been resting on the thought that we will always have each other for just a bit too long for me. So it's too late. It's too late for me to change that but you can, Hikaru. You have to. I know you can depend on her because I can see the way you look at each other and the way she squeezed herself into our world. The way she-"

The way she started taking you away from me.

Kaoru stopped talking again as soft sobs overtook him. Slowly, he brought his knees to his chest bringing his slightly shaking arms around them and resting his face on his raised knees.

He tried to compose himself again. He tried to stop making such a pathetic display in front of Hikaru , but as he saw he was failing he grew impatient and starting talking between his sobs.

"Hi-Hikaru. I can see th-that you are f-falling in love with h-h-her. And… a-and that means you can't…you can't k-keep running to m-me…Hika. I-it means you have to-to take a step towards th-the rest of the world a-and away from me. S-so I-I tried to push you a-away. To m-m-make it easier for b-both of us. I-I tried. I tried although all I wished for was…was for you to turn around and…and love me the way you love her…love me in the twisted way in which I love you…love me the way I fell in love with you…Hikaru…"

Before he knew it Kaoru was no longer holding his knees. His arms were limp at his sides as he was buried as deep as possible in his brother's chest. His cheek was touching Hikaru's skin feeling the sweat that was resting there. His heartbeat was thumping in Kaoru's ears and all the self restraint in the world couldn't stop him from slowly raising his arms and hugging Hikaru, squeezing him closer as he nuzzled his face on the skin that was exposed to him, before feeling Hikaru burying his face in his own hair and staying there taking deep breaths

"Idiot…" Hikaru said still buried in his brother's hair. "How could think that I didn't love you? How could you think that I didn't want you in the same twisted way that you are talking about?" and with that Hikaru reached for Kaoru's chin gently tilting his face up so that he could look at him.

"Kaoru, it is too late for you to push me away. Because I have been in love with you since way before we even met Haruhi. That's why when you sent me on a date with her this summer I was thinking of you, talking to her about you, buying things for you. That's why when that vase fell I ran to make sure you were okay, not her. That's why when I was trapped with her on Halloween I went mad without you. That's why the minute she let us out I ran to you. That's wh-"

Hikaru's words were interrupted and his thoughts were blown into tiny little pieces as Kaoru reached up put his arm behind Hikaru's head lacing his fingers in Hikaru's auburn hair and finally brought those lips to his, tasting what he had been dreaming of for so long.

And for the record it was nothing like their dreams.

Hikaru immediately melted into his Kaoru's kiss , his hands pressing the younger one closer and he thought he had never felt happier, before the young one's tongue hesitantly traced his lips sending shivers down both their spines.

For a moment Hikaru stilled, registering the continuous streams of butterflies that seemed to pass through his entire body before settling on his groin. As he felt the others tongue press with a bit more force he parted his lips letting it evade and explore the wet cavern of his mouth. Before long Hikaru started moving his own tongue slowly but with much more force than Kaoru's taking complete control of the kiss and feeling the other slowly turn obedient and soft the way Hikaru always imagined he would be.

However Hikaru was still surprised as no imagination could ever do justice to the deep beautiful lustful moan that Kaoru's throat emitted sending tingling sensations in Hikaru's body making him very aware of the critical condition beneath his shorts.

"H-Hikaru..." Kaoru said as they eventually parted to breathe resting his forehead on his brother's.

"I can't belie-…A-ah…."

Kaoru's sentence remained unfinished as Hikaru suddenly gripped his shoulders twisting him around and laying him just a tiny bit forcefully on the bed brushing their now very obvious erections together. As he proceeded to straddle Kaoru's hips with his body their members clashed again making Kaoru produce another deep moan driving Hikaru mad with pleasure and desire.

"God, Kaoru" he said slowly lowering himself towards the other's still clothed body "how can you sound so damn hot? You are driving me mad"

With that Kaoru raised his hands grasping the other's neck forcing their lips together once again making them both moan with sheer pleasure .

Never breaking their deep kiss Hikaru snaked his hand to his brother's shirt loosening his tie without taking it off and unbuttoning his shirt revealing Kaoru's perfect marble-like skin. As Kaoru's torso made contact with the air he shivered lightly making Hikaru pull away from their kiss smirking.

"Ah, so sensitive… my Kaoru. You were always so…sensitive…"

And then it happened. His beautiful Kaoru looked up at him with half lidded eyes, shining with pure adoration and want and so softly, so shyly -much like the way he did while they were at the host club- half-muttured half-moaned "H-Hikaru…"

That moment Hikaru's brain exploded seeing his Kaoru like this and knowing that the only name he has ever said this way was his own. He practically dived down for a kiss, his hands tracing Kaoru's chest , before moving lower tugging at his brother's belt and stopping there giving the other his last chance to back away from this knowing full well that nothing in the world would be able to stop him if he saw Kaoru's full naked body writhing before him.

Backing away however was nowhere near Kaoru's mind so upon understanding his brother's gesture he pushed him up a bit and looked into his eyes.

"Hika, I want you so damn much"

That was enough because with surprising speed Hikaru unbuckled his twin's belt yanking of both his pants and his underwear and finding himself staring at Kaoru's very wet and hard member.

"Kaoru…" he started, scanning his love's body up and down "so…so beautiful…" and with that he bent down engulfed Kao's length with one swift move in his mouth making the other arch his back, throw his head back and moan loudly as he tangled his hands in Hika's hair.

Although new to this, Hikaru could just tell what would make his brother go crazy so it wasn't surprising when he felt a very sharp tag at his hair indicating he had better stopped if he wanted to go any further.

Moving back up he kissed Kaoru's neck biting lightly while rubbing his still clothed and dripping member on his brother thigh. It was Kaoru's turn to smirk as he felt his twin's neediness and reached down to take the orange shorts away from his love's hips. As he did he felt Hikaru's hand cupping his cheek slowly moving towards his mouth positioning very lightly three fingers against his lips. Knowing full well why they were there Kaoru took them in, licking and softly biting here and there trying to give his brother as much pleasure as he possibly could.

After a while the wet hand retreated slowly making its way to a much tighter entrance. As Kaoru felt one finger slowly making its way up he tensed not from pain but merely because it felt weird and new.

Hikaru noticed this and searched his brother's face for a signal to stop only to receive a nod from his flushed brother. At that he kept going very slowly until three fingers had finally squeezed their way inside Kaoru, making him obviously uncomfortable.

Hikaru kept his hand still as he brought his other hand in Kaoru's face brushing his hair back and caressing his flushed cheeks as he bent down to whisper sweet little words in his ear.

When Kaoru felt comfortable enough he moved his hips a bit burying his twin's fingers deeper inside getting a strange feeling that if they went just a bit deeper…just a little…just a bit dee-

"AAAH-a-ah…." this would happen.

Hikaru smirked as his little brother arched his sweating body towards him while trying to get his fingers to just go there again.

At that point the discomfort had faded which made Kaoru visibly disappointed when his brother's fingers retreated. Knowing however what would take their place he waited until Hika arranged his position and after giving him one last reassuring look started to push in.

Both their mouths were hanging open , their eyes shut as they shared the maddening pleasure of the moment. After waiting a bit for Kaoru to get used to his fully inserted member Hikaru started slowly moving in and out going sharper and deeper with every thrust.

He started developing an accelerating pace as he brushed against his brother's spot making him a needy moaning mess.

"Hika-ah. G-go ha-harder…ngh…please …a-AH"


"Ngh, I-ah…want y-you Hika. I want…A-AH…you…harder…"

"Well…then…" Hikaru replied haskily before changing his angle just a little bit and thrusting in with unprecedented force the result he got being nothing short of glorious.


Using all the self control he could muster not to come then and there upon hearing his brother's voice like this, Hikaru complied hitting the same spot over and over driving them both so close to the edge but not quite over it.

When he felt neither of them would hold on much longer , Hikaru started pumping his twin just at the right pace to drive him insane.


"I know..ah…Kao…I-ah…me too"

"Together then."

And so it happened about four seconds after Kaoru had finished his sentence they both stilled shouting each other's name in total synch and seeing nothing but pure white blurring all of their senses and turning all awareness to dust.

After some time that neither could actually measure they started regaining their consciousness finding themselves lying next to each other their fingers tangled tightly together.

The first one to speak was Kaoru as he slowly looked to his left being once again struck at how breathtaking his Hikaru looked.

"Hikaru..." he started somewhat hesitantly " I…I really…I mean…"

Noting his brother's discomfort Hikaru turned towards him bringing his free hand to his twins face gently bringing him close.

"I really love you…Kaoru. I love you so…so damn much"

That's all it took and Kaoru was lost in his brother's eyes again .


"And you better not try to push me away again because I really think I'm in too deep to ever be able to live without you, ok?"

"Hikaru…I…I won't. I promise, I love you and I'm afraid I will never stop…"

With that Hikaru pulled his blushing love to his chest throwing the blanket above them nuzzling into his twin's hair. Thinking how lucky he was to be able to hold someone so perfect so close he started drifting into unconsciousness knowing full well that he would never let the other go...

This is what I wished for, Hikaru.

This is what I wished for, Kaoru.

A/N: so that's it. I sincerely hope it was worth your time.

I really do hope you enjoyed it because I know just how great it feels when you read a fanfic that was actually worth it.

Anyway, I am in no way a writer nor do I aspire to become one just after reading many amazing stories I wanted to try it out myself just once.

Thank you very much for reading this .