Summary: Lord Tywin wants his children to eat their vegetables and he won't let them get to bed if they don't swallow every last one. Be aware that this is set in a different time setting. AU and Out of Character moments.
Chapter One: Vegetables
The Lannister children were playing hide and seek in their home in Casterly Rock, a castle situated on top of a rock formation. Cersei was 'it' while her brothers Jaime and Tyrion hid somewhere in the castle. They were very fond of each other and promised that whatever happens in the future they would always help one another. Their father Lord Tywin is a strict disciplinarian (not to mention paranoid) who instills fear in his children who are both seventeen and Tyrion, seven years of age. The Lannister children know that he means well but he hardly even talk to them since his wife Joanna died giving birth to his youngest. Tywin rarely spoke of the lady and Tyrion thought best not to ask him about it but went to his older siblings who provided information about their mother. Wuffles, a white Scottish terrier was a present from their father to Tyrion during his seventh name day since he thought the boy needed companionship. He could remember Cersei complaining about it…
'This is not fair!' Cersei stomped her foot on the ground. 'Just because he's the youngest doesn't mean he gets to have a puppy for his name day.' She turned to her twin Jaime. 'Do you remember when we were seven and I asked father for a puppy and he said I can't have one because I'd just forget to feed it?'
'You should have asked him for a fish so when it died in your care we could grill it.' Jaime replied.
The blonde girl turned to her younger brother, bringing herself down to his level. 'I begged father for one and in the end he just gave me one of those boring dolls that when you open it there's another one exactly like it but smaller.'
'You broke it after three days and father got so mad he flogged you because he went all the way to Winterfell to get it.' Jaime added and smirked, so did Tyrion.
He snapped back into the present, Tyrion was in the kitchens at the moment with no one looking and he found the perfect hiding place just for him, it was a small barrel filled with strawberries that have just been harvested and brought into the castle from Lannisport. Tyrion immediately climbed into the barrel and ate some of the strawberries.
'Go away Wuffles! You'll give me away.' The white Scottish terrier went and disappeared.
Jaime was still unable to find the perfect hiding place and because he was in the stables Cersei would surely find him here. Not here he thought to himself and he went back up to the castle entering the lion's mouth. It was already getting dark.
Jaime made his way to the dining hall where the servants were preparing plates and silverware for the family and themselves. He did not want Cersei to find him first because he was 'it' the last time and Tyrion has never been 'it', not once.
'Ready or not here I come!' Cersei said and Jaime froze on his tracks, he had just remembered that she in the room above him counting all this time.
He had no other option but to hide under the family table where he found Wuffles chasing his tail.
Timing could not have been worse when Lord Tywin entered the hall, tall and intimidating he wore a dark double breasted suit, his father went up to the family table accompanied by his uncle Kevan.
'Seven hells Wuffles!' he whispered to the dog. 'If father finds out I'm hiding under here he'll flog me into next week!' the dog did not seem to understand him because Wuffles started barking out of control and growling at him.
Jaime tried in vain to catch the white dog but Wuffles was out of his reach and got out from under the table.
'Wuffles!' said Kevan Lannister who crouched down to the dog who still barked and growled at Jaime's direction. 'Jaime?'
The seventeen year old closed his eyes and sighed heavily.
'What?' Lord Tywin asked and knocked down the nearest chair and found Jaime getting himself up from under the table.
Jaime now face to face with the man he feared the most.
'Father.' Jaime said to the man. 'Uncle Kevan.' He greeted the other.
'I will not ask what you've been doing down there as I'm sure your brother and sister will provide the details.'
Lord Tywin and his brother turned away from him for just a few minutes to discuss matters of great consequence when Cersei appeared and ran up to him.
'Found you!' she said loudly that the servants who were getting ready for dinner turned not to her but to their father.
'Father. Uncle.' She greeted.
'Hmmm.' Said Lord Tywin. 'And where is my youngest?' he asked looking back and forth at his twins.
'You see father, we were playing a game.' Jaime said but he was looking at his sister's direction.
'And Jaime and Tyrion…were hiding so I could find them and…' she was cut off from her explanation when Charlie the cook appeared with Tyrion by his side.
'Here he is my lord.' Said Charlie. 'Found him in the barrel of strawberries fresh from Lannisport.' Tyrion rolled his eyes.
'Yes my lord.'
'Come.' He told his youngest and Tyrion did so. Uncle Kevan picked up the chair for their father to sit on as the rest of the family sat on the table.
In under a few minutes the hall was filled with servants who served food. There were a lot of vegetables too, all three of them hated broccoli. Tyrion hated peas, Cersei hated spinach, Jaime was never a fan of carrots. The food on the table contained all fou of the foulest vegetables the Lannister children could think of.
Jaime and Tyrion were messy eaters, just like their Uncle Gerion who filmed them in his recorder since they were children. Their aunt Genna once commented on how Tywin's lack of affection for his children affected their table manners and when their uncle Gerion heard of this they bickered back and forth on how her theory made no sense.
'Go on, get some vegetables on your plates.' He told them and they were not as eager as they looked when they almost stabbed each other with their forks.
Dinner was almost over, the three Lannister children rose from their seats.
'Sit down.' Said Lord Tywin who then took a sip of his wine. 'You haven't eaten any of your vegetables.' He put down his glass and stood up. 'Lannisters always eat their vegetables. Now go on, clean your plates or none of you will get the comfort of a bed tonight.'
'But father uncle Gerion will be arriving from Pentos tomorrow at five o'clock you have to let us go to bed.' Said Cersei, always the first to complain. 'We're suppose to meet him at the docks.'
'You won't be able to meet him at the docks if you don't eat your vegetables.' Their father replied.
The Lannister children looked at each other oddly that their father noticed this and immediately threw penetrating stares at each one of them.
'Brother, I think you need to get them to bed.' Kevan said interrupting his older brother's uninterrupted stares. 'These things could probably lead to stomach problems.' Without warning, lord Tywin turned to his brother and stared at him for a long time.
'Leave us.' He said finally and without another word, Kevan Lannister rose up from his seat next to his brother and went out of the hall.
'We can do this all night.' He told his children.
'Do we have to?' asked Jaime. 'They taste weird.'
'They do father.' Said Tyrion. 'Peas are disgusting.'
'Where did you learn that word Tyrion?' asked their father curiously.
The youngest of the siblings looked at the twins.
'Well…it's like when Cersei says that Wuffles has fleas and one of the fleas got lost and found his way to Cersei's hair and she scratches it and she says it's disgusting.'
'Tyrion!' said his sister angrily.
Their father smiled for a brief moment that only Tyrion saw it. Everyone knew he never smiled anymore.
Tyrion looked down on his shoes and found Wuffles looking up at him.
'Father's too busy talking about vegetables.' He said in his thoughts. Tyrion poured the contents of his plate under the table and Wuffles started eating
'I'm finished father.' Said Tyrion confidently, showing lord Tywin his plate.
'I see someone has finally changed his mind about vegetables.'
'How?' Jaime asked in a whisper.
Tyrion looked down under the table and Jaime saw the Scotty dog eating his brother's food. He wasted no time and also poured the contents of his plate under the table.
'I'm finished too father.'
Their father said nothing at first.
Cersei elbowed her twin on the rib with a very frantic look.
Just then someone bursted into the hall, and walked briskly up to the family table.
'My lord, a rider in the night it's from your sister lady Genna.' The man handed him the parchment.
Jaime took her plate and poured the vegetables under the table and immediately gave her the plate back.
'Ah, it seems you've a new cousin she wanted to name him Tiberius but the Freys decided to name him Cleos.' He looked disappointed. 'What a terrible name.'
It wasn't really terrible; it was just a weird name like a scientific term for a wart.
'We better get to bed father, it's getting rather late.' Said Cersei who smiled at him.
All his three children rose up from their chairs and strangely enough gave him a hug.
'Good night father.' They said in unison and walked out of the dining hall with Wuffles in tow.
Lord Tywin took a sip from his glass and was deep in thought.
'Oh my love, if you could see our children now.' He stretched out one of his long legs under the table and felt something. He looked down only to see vegetables he forced his children to consume scattered all over the place.
Perhaps he needed to buy the new book Kevan has been talking to him about called 'How to be a Better Father to your Children' by Lord Rickard Stark.
Author's note: please review and tell me if you want more. I'm planning for this to be in four chapters. I accept flames. And I don't know if they have Scotty dogs in Westeros.