A/N: Hi there! Welcome to To Aru Super SS Vol. II!
To those of you who are new and have not read Vol. I, I'll briefly say that this is a 4koma/fanfic where I tell lame jokes that can only be described as hit-or-miss humor.
If you don't find a joke funny, it's probably my fault. I'm sorry.
To veterans that have read Vol. I... I am also very sorry...
Now let's get this ball rolling.
Okay, Get Ready For It...
Two Misaka sisters were sitting on a bench.
"'Going from Volume I to Volume II, it doesn't seem like anything's changed...' Misaka comments."
"'What...? No...! This is a new Volume, meaning it's a fresh start!' says Misaka as she slams her hand down on the bench."
"'Ehh...? A fresh start...? If this is a fresh start, does this mean we're setting up a precedent of what to expect for the rest of the volume (since we're up first)...?' Misaka asks."
"'...Ah! That's right...! This is bad...! Misaka can't think of a punchline...!' says Misaka as she visibly shows signs of sweating."
"'...E-Eh! There's no punchline...!' Misaka stammers."
"'...well, we can always use that...' Misaka mumbles."
And Here It Is
"'Misaka sometimes wonders if Frenda is actually related to Fremea,' says Misaka."
"'Hmm...? Isn't it obvious with their personalities and looks that they're related?' Misaka asks."
"'Yeah,' Misaka replies, 'but if you think about it, she's only a half-sister at best."
They both laughed.
That's To Aru Super SS In A Nut Shell
Both Misaka sisters were covering their faces in embarrassment.
"'Well, now that expectations have been lowered, please feel free to press the back button and search for something funnier to read...' says Misaka as she slowly begins to cry."
"'Misaka wonders if a Volume III will appear...Misaka would very much like to redo this...' says Misaka as she contemplates living under a rock."
Please enjoy the rest of the chapter!
A Fairy Tale In Academy City
Fremea Seivelun was looking out a window.
"Ah! It's a tornado!"
Reacting to imminent danger, the little girl rushed underneath a door frame...
"Essentially, in times like these..."
"You need to play dead."
She lied down.
Outside, question marks appeared above the tornado as it passed by the house several times. It seemed to be confused.
The Good Witch
Hearing various knocking noises from the front door, Fremea raised her head.
A bit of drool had accumulated near the side of her mouth. Nevertheless, she went on to open the door.
A scary looking man who stood over twice her size greeted her.
"Essentially, you seem like a good person. Would you like to come in?"
"No. It's alright."
The House Is Greater...
The man spoke to her in monotone.
"Little girl. I am the Good Witch of the Back. I have to come to tell you that a tornado has carried your humble home to the mystical land of Academy City."
"Incidentally, this building has landed on the Wicked Witch of the Left and has consequently killed him."
"I should also mention that the Good Witch of the Front couldn't make her appearance as I had ripped her tongue out the other day."
"And as for the Wicked Witch of the Right, he is currently off doing his own thi-"
Fremea butted in.
"Please keep it brief."
This Is Just My Opinion, But Doesn't He Look Kinda Like...
"If you desire to return home, I suggest you find the Wizard of Academy City and have him help you out."
Aqua then turned his head to Terra's half-body.
"And while it may be in bad taste, I'd highly suggest you to loot his corpse for any valuables."
Fremea nodded in agreement.
"Now that my purpose has been served..."
Aqua stepped into a nearby furnace.
"I'll be taking my leave for now."
As the man slowly sunk into the fiery embers of the furnace, he raised up a hand and gave the girl a thumbs up.
"I'll be back."
Fremea saluted him as he went. She was already wearing Terra's slippers.
Essentially, I will always remember you.
It's Strange Because He Has No Lungs
After getting directions from the Misakas in the nearby Misakaland...
Fremea eventually become lost at a crossroad.
"...essentially, where should I go?"
Then, the little girl heard a voice.
"Hey, are you lost?"
Looking up, she saw a spiky-haired scarecrow attached to pole.
She took a step back.
"A talking scarecrow... Essentially, how strange..."
...Eh? Strange...? Saying that to me after everything that's happened so far...?
"Well, I'd like to help you out, but unfortunately I'm kind of stuck."
He said to the girl
"A few of my female colleagues pinned me up here as punishment for being too dense. ( Which is completely wrong since my body is filled with straw.)"
"On the bright side though, I'm still able to do my job properly as a scarecrow."
As he said this, a flock of crows suddenly came down and consumed the cornfield behind him.
Flying off, they left him in a barren patch of dirt...
Kamijou's face was blank.
"Well... seeing that they ate everything, including the pole I was on... I guess I can help you now."
An aura of despair hovered over him.
The girl took some notice.
"Essentially, would you like to like to visit the Wizard of Academy City with me and ask for your corn back?"
"The Wizard, huh..."
His eyes glazed over as he looked off into the distance.
"Rather than corn, maybe I should ask for a year's worth of college tuition... "
He rubbed the top of the girl's head.
Somehow, Fremea gained a party member!
Walking along, Fremea and the Scarecrow came across a tin man in the middle of the road.
"What the hell?"
The scarecrow was unnerved.
"Is this some type of modern art?"
The white-haired boy seemed to be frozen in time. And it seemed like, before he became frozen, he was in the process of chasing someone down with an axe.
He had an extremely angry expression.
Kamijou became cautious.
"Well, it's not really in the way. Let's just ignore it for now."
Looking down, the boy watched as the girl flip the Tin Man's "on" switch.
It's Normal Because He's A Robot
The axe went flying out of the Tin Man's hands and consequently destroyed a tree in the distance.
Turning his head from side to side, the tin man uttered,
"Where'd that fucking fly go..."
Is that what you were doing...!
Taking notice of the two travelers, he asked,
"What do you fuckers want...?"
Still surprised at the Tin Man's sudden revival, the Scarecrow responded nervously.
"We're just passing b-"
The Tin Man stepped back.
"A talking scarecrow...!"
What the hell... You're talking too damn it...!
"...essentially, that's how it is."
"The Wizard...? Come to think of it, I've got some business to take care of with him."
The white-haired boy's eyes glazed over as he cracked his knuckles.
"Would you essentially like to come with us?"
"As if I'd go with some brat. But if you tag along with me, I suppose I couldn't stop you."
"Tch. Do what you want."
Kamijou stared blankly at the new alliance that formed before his eyes.
Ah, well, I guess this is how the story goes...
And so, the three went along to visit the Wizard's castle.
Also, somewhere along the way, they picked up Hamazura.
"Wait-wait-wait...! Don't just ignore my introduction!"
(Continue to Part 2 in Chapter 2...)