A/N: After submitting in my last chapter, I left the poll open for two weeks. During that time, 40% of the votes wanted Mikoto as a childhood friend and 10% went to everyone else... except Accelerator who received 0 votes. (lol) I guess this makes sense given that Accelerator had no friends as a child. (lol)

Anyway, here's a few old jokes I never got around to posting and a late Christmas chapter... which I made around a year ago. Yeah...

Anyway... another poll should be up and a chapter about NT6 should be coming out soon.

Concern

Hamazura Shiage and Index Librorum Prohibitorum were sitting on a bench. With his hands over his mouth, Hamazura was contemplating his position.

"So... this year's edition of '*ono Light Novel Sugoi!'... Our rankings are..."

Index tilted her head.

"Who are you?"

"Please don't rub it in..."

( Note: '*ono Light Novel ga Sugoi!' is a guide book that publishes a list of the top ten most popular light novels according to a poll. Characters are also ranked in the guide book. )

"My recent role in New Testament should've boosted me up. But for some reason, my position actually dropped. This is bad... really bad... It's entirely possible I might get written out of the story..."

"Again. Who are you? I don't think we've talked before."

"You should be concerned too! For a novel still named 'Toaru Majutsu no Index', Index has become pretty damn irrelevant!"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The silver-haired girl covered her ears at the harsh words.

So I've Heard

"But... what do we do? Is there any way we can fix this?"

Index asked. The two seemed to come to a mutual understanding.

"At this point, we can either attempt to gain popularity by changing our current image..."

Hamazura's eyes glazed over.

"Or we can go a different route..."

The two once again came to a mutual understanding, and they began their trek into darkness.

"So I hear Nob*hiko Okamoto is quite the person."

"How so?"

"Apparently he's the type to say 'Scold me more!' and 'Tell me to kneel down and apologize!'"

"..."

"On record, he went up to one of his female co-workers and said 'I wonder when you're going to come in a school uniform. I definitely want you to come in knee-highs!'"

"How disgusting."

Congratulations to Misaka Mikoto, Kamijou Touma, and Accelerator for making it into the top 5!

NT4 Alternative: Defenseless Moe~!

Dáinsleif: a golden sword that could stop the hearts of its enemies.

This was the dangerous weapon Marian Slingeneyer held in her hands, and she held it high into the air without hesitation. And helplessly, the participants of Natural Selector watched that sword...

The unsheathing:

"...!"

Her face reddened...

"...!"

She appeared to be struggling...

And putting the blade down, it seemed like she gave up.

"...I-It's stuck."

Several heart attacks were induced. But it was not because of fear.

NT5 Alternative: Double

Misaka Mikoto had appeared in front of Kamijou Touma again.

"Really, you're doing this again?"

"...? Huh?"

The boy grabbed her chest.

"WHA-! WHA-! WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-!"

"Ah, so you can even imitate such a girly squeal? That's pretty good, but there's no point if I've already seen through your trick!"

Passing by, a member of anti-skill spotted the spiky-haired boy attempting to strip the clothes off of the level 5 in public.

( "How long are you planning to keep this up! Just give up already!" )

"...!"

Noticing the official, Kamijou looked up and said calmly.

"There's no problem here officer! He's actually a guy!"

"THAT'S STILL A PROBLEM."

NT5 Alternative: Tease~

Marian Slingeneyer was wandering around a plaza... but was noticing something extremely unsettling...

A gravure picture of Marian had been posted on the side of a building.

Where did-? What? When did this-?

She immediately shot her hand out and ripped it apart. However... there was another.

Eh?

And another. And another.

A bus passed by. The image of her laying on her side in a white swimsuit had been painted on it.

"..."

Meanwhile... Kamijou was asking a certain blond-haired Gremlin member.

"Will this really work?"

"Oh, she won't want to show her face for a good while."

Blood-Stained Santa

Fremea Seivelun was singing a tuneless song while riding on Hamazura Shiage's shoulders.

"Santa~! Santa~! Essentially Santa~!"

"Hold on, we're getting there. Haha~!"

They were waiting in line to see a popular Christmas figure.

"Hey, look. See? It's our turn."

Finally arriving to the front of the line...

"..."

"Hey, fucker, you just gonna stand there?"

"Don't take all day, Hamazura."

An accelerated-Santa and his meltdowner-elf were waiting.

Hamazura's face paled.

I've made a huge mistake.

The Strongest Santa

"Hey...uh, Fremea-chan... Let's go somewhere else..."

"Fwee~?"

The elf called out to him.

"Hamazura, don't be such a prick."

Santa chimed in with a dark aura.

"That's right. Just sit on my lap and tell me who I need to maim, kill, or torture. Santa will make everything alright."

What exactly is 'alright' with anything you just said...!

"We can also break someone into your loyal dog as well. Just give the nod and we'll do it."

The elf added.

Do you guys even know who 'Santa' is...!

Bad Santa

Fremea was sitting on Santa's lap.

"Essentially, there's nothing I specifically want for myself...

...But there are things I want for other people..."

She continued.

"Komaba-oniichan seems to be thinking about a bunch of serious stuff lately... can you help him take a load off his mind...?"

"Got it."

Santa gave her the thumbs-up.

You're terrible...! You're absolutely terrible...!

"And, essentially, the last time I talked with Onee-chan, she said she wanted to lose some weight-"

"No problem."

The elf gave her the thumbs-up.

Stop using that joke, damn it...!

Secret Santa

Santa and the elf were watching Hamazura and Fremea leaving. The elf spoke in monotone.

"Oi, Santa-san. The girl you wanted to impress so dearly is leaving. Is it really alright to leave things like this?"

The white-haired boy sighed.

"Normally, kids these days are too selfish to care about others and would rather have games or toys for themselves. If she doesn't want anything, it just means that she's matured. It's better off this way."

"Even so, if she ever changes her mind, that oafish big brother of hers would just steal something for her in a heartbeat, don't you think?"

Before their small conversation could develop...

She came back.

"Say-"

The two turned towards the little girl.

She grinned and made a small bow.

"Essentially, I wanted to say... I hope Santa grants you wishes as well."

Everyone's Santa

In the background, Fremea was climbing onto Hamazura's shoulders.

Accelerator took off his hat...

He let out another breath.

"We've been had."

Mugino Shizuri looked onwards.

"Yeah, you got that right."

In the end, the ones who had received a "gift" were none other than the two level 5's.

That is... the sweetest gift that no chocolate could ever hope to compare to...

A girl's smile.