After reading the manga, like, a trillion times, I figure that I should put this story to use. :D. It was originally a story I got a grade for in my English 4 class and I got an A (not that that mattered lol). I changed a crap load of stuff around, such as setting and characters obviously. I hope that it'll turn out as good as I imagine.
I own nothing, only the story. I really gotta start putting that in my work. The entire story, even the original version, was based off the song 'Save Me' by My Darkest Days.
I gave a crappy summery on the shorter thingy so here's the better summery. I changed the entire summery and the entire plot of the story, but none of the chapters have changed. It'll still go along with what I'm trying to accomplish.
Everyone wants to try out new things. Anyone who says different can be dubbed a liar or close minded. This kind of urge happens at such a young and mindful age and can usually happen at the strangest moments.
Even knowing that he's useless at hunting and to his knowledge, everything else, Yuuen tried to find a better outlet. But during his suffering of a harsh illness which drives his mind with thoughts of leaving his home, his family and his lover, he thinks that maybe it's time to cut himself loose from them all, for their sake of going on without him. He feels it's best.
Along his way out of his nest, Yuuen will realize how much potential he has in many different skills. But will knowing that be enough to make him consider going home? Even he doesn't know.
The moving of the tribes was stressful and hard on the people. Everyone was exhausted, tired and hot from the heat of the sun. The hunters were already tired from forcing the rival tribe away before coming to the negotiations of moving to the farther end of the lake and moving both large tribes was difficult.
But their new location was just as good, if not better. The position of the sun landed right on the lake bed during the day so the people wouldn't get too hot and the forest was covering where wind usually blew, making it plenty warm enough in the winter, which was already in progress.
There was a soft breeze blowing, making a chill trail down Yuuen's back as he stared out at the lake, hearing the women prepare the dinner that the hunters all caught. Now that the two tribes were together, food rations went crazy high, making it difficult to run out...which was good.
Yuuen shivered and rubbed his arms, feeling slightly cold, but warm all at once. He had been feeling weird the last few days. His stomach hurt and he was shaky all the time. He would get slightly dizzy, then focus again. He wasn't sure what was causing it but all he knew was he didn't like it.
A sudden warmth was set on his shoulders, making him jump and look up into HIS eyes. And those dark eyes made him smile. He gripped the fur blanket closer to him and shivered.
"Thank you, Emba..."
"Why are you sitting so close to the water? It's freezing and you'll catch your death out here...is something wrong?"
"Mmmm no, nothing is wrong...felt a little sore but I'm better."
Emba smiled and wrapped his arm around the boy, nuzzling him to his chest, rubbing his head. Yuuen nearly purred and relaxed against the man, the fur blanket still gripped tight in his hands.
It was then that Yuuen's stomach was starting to churn again and he let out a soft groan, rubbing his stomach. It didn't go unnoticed.
"Yuuen, what is it?"
The man saw the boy rubbing his tummy, his eyes scrunched in pain, sweat trickling from his scalp. Emba replaced Yuuen's hand with his own, gently rubbing the boys stomach in soft circles. He heard Yuuen let out a soft moan and relax quickly.
After a short while, the boy removed Emba's hand and said,
"I think...I am going to skip dinner tonight...I'm very tired."
He stood and stared out at the lake. It looked peaceful, aside from the waves from the wind. He felt Emba's hand on his shoulder and he heard his lovers stern voice.
"Yuuen, you've been skipping dinner for 3 nights now. It's not healthy. What's going on? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Emba. You don't need to worry about me...I am perfectly...healthy..."
Emba was not convinced. He noticed the hesitation in Yuuen's voice, hearing how shaky his voice seemed. Inside his mind, there was a voice telling him to demand an answer. It wasn't like Yuuen to keep secrets from him. Especially not when it involved Yuuen himself.
He had noticed the slight tremors in his voice, how pale he had gotten. He noticed how the boy wouldn't eat and when he did, it would be very small portions. His eyes seemed listless, glazed.
He cupped the boys face in his hand and kissed his forehead, rubbing his cheek.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine. Honest. I just haven't been hungry in the last few days."
"You also haven't been getting any sleep. Yuuen, every night, it seems like you are dying of heat stroke. You pant and you start to sweat horribly. Now I ask you again: Are you sure...that NOTHING is wrong?"
The boy shivered. He hated that look in Emba's eyes. The look of deep concern and worry. Yuuen hated lying to the man he loved, but he didn't want him worried about anything around him...
He shook his head and rubbed Emba's face, kissing his cheek.
"I'm fine, love. Honest."
Emba sighed and nodded, taking Yuuen's hand and leading him back to the village. Yuni turned and smiled at the sight of the two of them, though his smile faded when he saw the concerned look on Emba's face as he lightly pushed Yuuen into their tent, closing it up. As he walked up to him, he heard Emba sigh and Yuni said,
"Emba, is something wrong?"
The man turned to the village chief and said,
"It's Yuuen. I'm not sure, but he doesn't look well and I can tell he's lying to me about it. But he won't...he won't talk to me about it."
Yuni sighed and set his hand on the mans shoulder, looking into those eyes.
"Yuuen is very hard to understand. Even I, his own father, have a hard time trying to speak with him and understand how he is. Even before you and your tribe, he was quiet and timid, and it only made it worse when he failed in hunting. That's why I'm happy he has you. But I see his attitude as much as you do. The only thing I can think of is just stay with him. Alright?"
Emba nodded and was about to walk into the tent, but was stopped when Yuni said,
"Ahh bring him some food first. I noticed he has not been eating these last few days. His brother is getting worried, I am getting worried. And I see many of the others getting worried. I want you to stay with him until he gets notably better. Understood?"
Again, Emba nodded and walked to the large fire were the food was being prepared. Yuni looked into the tent and saw Yuuen laying in he large mats, covered in fur blankets, shivering. He looked cold, nearly frozen at best. It made Yuni clutch his chest in heart wrenching pain. He hated to see his youngest child in such frozen pain...or whatever pain he was in.
Sighing again, he closed the tent flap and walked back over to his friend, Salem, who looked up at him with a look of concern.
"Yuni, my friend, are you alright?"
"No...my son is ill, but he refuses to tell anyone, including myself. But I can see it from where he lays. He's ill..."
"Yuni, come sit and relax. I'm sure you are not the only one who can see that he is ill. But it is Yuuen we are talking about, yes?"
Yuni nodded and Salem went on.
"From what you have told me, he's very stubborn about talking about his problems since the situation with my son a year ago. But I'm sure he'll be fine. All he needs is some rest and some food. And of course comfort and love from the people. And now that I think about it, Emba won't let him out of his sight if he knew. Try not to worry."
Yuni nodded, knowing his friend was correct. Even though Yuuen seemed ill, Emba wouldn't dare to let him out of his sight if he knew.
The fire pit was letting off smoke as the fire was being extinguished. Everyone was trailing into their tents for the night.
Emba and Yuuli were standing in their fathers tent, awaiting lookout orders. Yuni blew some smoke from his pipe and looked at his son, who held his spear with determination, as did Emba. Yuni looked over at Salem, who sighed and rubbed his neck. He spoke up and said,
"I think Yuuli should take the first watch, then it shall be Emba's turn in 4 hours. Sound fair?"
Yuni nodded and looked at his son, who said,
"Chief Salem, I will proudly take the first watch."
He looked up and smiled at the other man.
"Emba, while I have my first watch, please take care of my brother. We all can see how sick he is, regardless of him telling us."
Emba smiled and nodded, bowed and left the tent, spear in hand. He walked across the village to the large tent, stepped inside and slowly walked over to the large fur mat bedding. He noticed that Yuuen was still sound asleep, breathing deeply and soundly. Emba couldn't help but smile and set his spear down, crawling into the bedding and wrapped his arms around the boy, kissing his head.
Yuuen let out a sudden intake of air and his eyes opened. He turned his head and saw a flow of black hair and he smiled. The boy struggled but managed to turn over in Emba's arms, nuzzling against his chest.
Emba noticed the raspy tone in Yuuen's voice. His throat must've been very dry and very much sore. Regardless, Emba pulled him tighter to him and kissed his hair again, rubbing his bare back.
"I should be. You seem very cold. Are you sleeping better?"
He felt Yuuen nod against his chest, which made him chuckle, continuing to rub his back. There was a soft silence between the two of them and Yuuen loved the feel of Emba's strong chest move up and down as he took breaths of air. Yuuen looked up and saw the Emba was still very much awake. It earned a soft,
"Emba, you should get some sleep. You have watch in a few hours."
"Oh? How did you know that?"
Yuuen rubbed his eyes and sat up, moving his blond hair out of his eyes and said,
"Well, if you had watch first, you wouldn't be in here now would you?"
Emba chuckled and nodded. Yuuen was right about that. Yuuen smiled and laughed a little, which died quickly as he started coughing madly into his arm. Emba was up in a shot and rubbed Yuuen's back, feeling his muscles squeeze every time he coughed violently. The coughing grew more harsh as Yuuen fell to his knees, trying to regain his breath through his coughing.
Emba, now greatly worried, waited for the boy to stop coughing. Once he finally stopped, he collapsed against Emba's chest, shuddering horribly. The older man wrapped his arms around the boy, kissing his neck, rubbing his flat stomach. Yuuen felt his throat tightening, then relaxing.
Emba sighed and relaxed, laying Yuuen down next to him and rubbed his cheeks. The boy shivered and let out soft sobs in his lovers chest, feeling his warm hand on his cold upper back. Emba kissed the top of Yuuen's head, whispering,
"Yuuen, why didn't you tell us you felt ill?"
"I...I didn't want you to worry about me...with winter c-coming, we need to focus on hunting for food. My illness...it would've been a burden to you all..."
The boy wiped his eyes and curdled even closer to his lovers chest. Emba wrapped his arms even tighter around Yuuen's thin body, running his fingers through his hair.
"Shhh. It's ok. Your illness could never be a burden to us. All you really need right now is rest and fluids. Tomorrow, we'll go to the lake and get you some water. Your body needs it. Alright?"
Yuuen nodded and let out a shuddering sigh, pulling the fur blanket over his shoulders. He shut his eyes, falling slowly into sleep, Emba watching him for a few moments. The man smiled when Yuuen's face grew peaceful once again. Finally giving in, he too shut his eyes and went to sleep, rubbing his lovers back gently.
All that next morning, while the stronger men were out on a hunting mission, the women were lighting the fires and cooking up large meals. They chatted for hours, laughing and telling stories.
Yuni blew smoke into the air, looking over at the tent across from theirs. He noticed that Yuuen hadn't moved from the tent since last night and while he figured his youngest was still sleeping, he grew immensely worried. It wasn't like Yuuen to stay in bed all day, regardless of how he felt.
He walked across the tribe, smiling at all the children who bidded him good morning. When he got to the tent, he walked inside and saw Yuuen still laying on the bedding, bundled in the fur blanket. His blond hair stuck out in all different directions. Yuni tilted his head and reached out to touch his sons head, moving some hair from his face. It made Yuuen jump at the touch and open his eyes.
"Shhh it's me. How are you feeling?"
Yuuen struggled to sit up but when he did, he let out mad coughs. Yuni noticed his eyes were bloodshot. He reached out and rubbed the boys forehead, eyes widening at how warm it was.
"Yuuen, dear god what's happened to you. You look horrible."
"I feel horrible...father, my stomach and head are throbbing. It hurts to breath and it hurts to talk. I feel dizzy and the sight of food makes me sick. It feels like I'm dying..."
To make matters worse, Yuuen's eyes widened and he suddenly fell to his knees, clutching his stomach and letting out dry heaves. Yuni's eyes widened again as he quickly helped Yuuen outside and they ran to the bushes, passing by the people who looked at them with confused stares.
Once in the bushes, Yuuen fell roughly to his knees and clutched his stomach tighter, continuing to let out dry heaves, knowing something was about to come out of him. Sure enough, his eyes widened and he vomited. Everything in his stomach, gone. Released onto the dirt and grass.
Yuuen felt his body giving out after he stopped and he started swaying back and forth, threatening to fall in his own waste. Just before he hit the dirt, Yuni grabbed him and quickly moved him from the waste pile. He stood them both up and walked them to the lake, noticing how Yuuen's legs wouldn't work well for him. Once at the lake, he sat Yuuen down and filled up cup full of water, gave it to the boy and wrapped his cloak around his sons shaking body.
Yuuen gulped down the water, then used the rest to clean out his mouth. He set his cup down and let out a sigh. Yuni sat next to his son and wrapped his arm around him, bringing him close to his warm body. They sat like that for a while, staring out at the lake.
Finally, after a while, Yuuen said,
"I'm sorry, father. I didn't want this to be a burden on you or anyone."
"How could you think you being sick would be a burden?"
"I'm already weak as it is...I can't hunt...I can't gather...what good am I?"
"Yuuen, don't talk like that. So you can't hunt. We now have plenty of hunters. One less isn't going to make much of a difference. So why should it matter?"
"It matters to me...I'm nothing. I'm useless to this tribe and the tribe of our allies...I can't do anything without screwing up."
"My son, where is all this stemming from? You've never seemed this depressed before. Yuuen...talk to your father. What's bothering you?"
Yuuen said nothing, but relaxed against his fathers chest, tears perking at the corner of his eyes. Yuni sighed and kissed his sons head. He then picked him up and helped him back to the village, laying him back in the tent. Once he left, he sighed and covered his tear jerked eyes...
"Emba, come see me for a moment...we must talk."
The hunter looked at his sister, slightly confused, but walked into the chief's conjoining tent. He was slightly put off when he saw Yuuli glaring at him, eyes full of anger. Salem looked at the man and told him to calm down, though it was a lost cause. Yuuli shot towards Emba and knocked him down on the dirt, hands around his throat. Of course, Emba made no move to pry him off. Yuni did just that and said,
"Yuuli, that is enough! This was not Emba's doing!"
Yuuli stood, shaking but loudly yelled.
"That is a lie! He injured my brothers heart and his spirit time and time again. I will not let it happen once more!"
At the mention of Yuuen, Emba quickly got to his knees infront of them, heard bowed. Something happened with his lover today...and from the sounds of things, it wasn't all that good.
Salem set his hand on his sons head, saying,
"Yuuen is very sick, my son. And sick enough to be drowning in a sea of fast flooding depression. He won't eat...he hardly sleeps, as you tell us. Yuni has told me that Yuuen is blaming himself for things that have not happened to the tribes. He sees himself a nothing, a weakling who has no purpose. We...no...Yuni and Yuuli are terrified as to what could happen if this depression goes on. Yuuen might cause harm to himself."
Emba's eyes widened at the thought of Yuuen trying to cause physical harm to himself due to lack of...whatever he felt he was lacking. Quickly, he got to his feet and left without another word, much to Yuuli's anger. But Yuni stopped him, saying,
"Let them talk first...if anyone can get Yuuen to explain his feelings further...it has to be his lover. Trust him. Maybe something will come up."
Yuuli opened his mouth, then closed it again...his father was right. Though Yuuen was his younger brother, even he couldn't get him to talk to him about his feelings. So if anything, Emba was their last hope.
Emba walked into the tent and saw the boy curled up in the bedding, fur blankets pushed away. And he ws shivering. Sighing, the man grabbed the 3 blankets and wrapped them around the boy, who quickly pushed them off. This confused Emba as he tried to put them back on, but again, Yuuen pushed them away.
Now, Emba was getting annoyed.
"What is the matter with you? If you don't cover up, you'll catch your death. And you're already sick. You need to stay warm if you won't sit by the fire. Now cover up."
Yuuen said nothing. Not even a motion of acknowledgment. Emba tried covering the boy with the blankets again...and again, Yuuen pushed them away. Now Emba was getting angry. Throwing the blankets to the side, he grabbed Yuuen's arm and yanked him around, forcing him to face his angry brown eyes. But just as Emba was about to snap at the boy for being stubborn, his eyes locked onto his lovers left arm.
It had been cut just below the shoulder, and blood was pouring down from the wound. But what was stunning about this cut was...it didn't look accidental. Oh no. It looked self done. Emba's worst fear had been confirmed, if only by a small wound.
Yuuen was now mutilating himself.
"What the hell were you thinking?"
Quickly, Emba ran out of the tent to get some cleaning supplies from his sister. Once he returned, he cleaned and bandaged the boys arm tightly so the bleeding would stop. Yuuen winced at the sting of the tree medicine, but given the emotional state Emba was in, he didn't think it mattered.
Once his arm was wrapped up, Emba slapped the boy across the face, sending him to the dirt.
"Yuuen, this has gone on long enough. I understand you are ill. I understand you are in a lot of pain, physical and mental. But causing harm to yourself is NOT the way to solve it. Now I demand to know why you are doing this to yourself. What happened? Talk to me!"
Yuuen said nothing at first, a little scared at his lovers high raised anger. No doubt people were staring at their tent because of the shouting, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He shut his eyes, tears flowing like a river down his cheeks, his hand clutching his wrapped up wound.
Emba wrapped his arms around the boys head, kissing his hair and rubbing his back. It nearly killed him to strike Yuuen like that but he had to make his point clear. They embraced like this for a few moments before he heard the boy weakly say,
"Shh, it's alright now. You'll be fine. Look, all you need is water and rest. This illness is making you crazy and you need to just stay away from tribal duties at the moment. I'll bring you some water and some food, but small portions like you want. After that...I want you to get some sleep. Will you do that? For me?"
When he felt Yuuen nod against his chest, he gave a small sigh of relief. Slowly, he layed the boy back on the beddings and covered him up, kissing his forehead before leaving the tent.
Right after he left the tent, Yuuen brought the blankets further up to his head, covering his mouth as he whispered,
"I'm sorry...you...deserve better..."