Prompt: The adventures of bathroom sharing with two wolves and one human; two girls and one guy. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Ratings/Warnings:
T – for sass


"So help me God, I'll kill you and leave your lifeless corpse on the side of the road for the buzzards!"

Paul pulled the door open enough for his smug-ass face to fit through. He appraised Leah quickly with a cheeky grin. "Calm your tits, Leah. And stop being so overdramatic." He slammed the door back closed before Leah could complete her lunge toward him. She stopped just in time.

They really couldn't afford to destroy another door. People were going to start to worry. Plus, Paul would never let Leah live it down. She was still reminded on the daily of how he'd literally banged her through the bedroom door. Particleboard didn't stand up to much; it did just fine standing up to Paul's ego though… and his incessant need to occupy the bathroom like a goddamn chick.

"Paul I have to pee like a fucking racehorse!" Rachel wailed as she leaned against the wall.

"You can wait or you can go dig a hole," he told her through the door. They then heard the shower flick on. "I don't wake up this sexy. It takes some work."

"You are such an ass," Rachel ground out. She stood upright and stomped down the hall. Rachel watched her leave for a moment before turning back to beat on the door. "Your hyperactive facial hair growth will be the death of me…"

Truth be told, the guy did need to shave. Every day. He shaved every morning, and woke up the next looking like he hadn't done so in a week. Phasing genes were a bitch.

"Paul I have to be at work in fifteen minutes!" Leah growled. She dropped her head against the door but soon heard a cry from outside the house.

"Oh my God!" It was Rachel.

Leah snapped upright with lupine speed, but Paul was out of that bathroom quicker than Leah thought was even possible. She was almost toppled over in her attempt to not be toppled over. She was on the porch by the time Paul was in the yard and Rachel was sitting quite squarely and safely on the edge of the bed of his truck.

"What is it?! Where is it?! Are you okay?!" Paul was frantic, dripping wet mess as he tried to assess what had made his imprint cry out so, and also tried to use his entire body to shield hers. Leah just thought the whole neighborhood was lucky he grabbed a towel on the way out of the house.

Leah heard her mumble something into his chest as he surveyed the woods for a threat. She pushed back far enough to get a word in edgewise. "Paul I really need to pee."

Leah released a full belly laugh as she watched Paul's shoulders sag visibly with relief. She then took her chance and made a beeline for the bathroom.

"Leah!" she heard Paul shout in realization. After that was just the thud on the door as she twisted the lock and smiled in victory. She immediately started disrobing, knowing that her partners on the other side would outsmart her attempts to get a five minute shower with relative ease.

"Leah! I still need to pee! I will pee on something you own!"

"I have a baby brother, that's not much of a threat and you know it."

She heard muffled movements as Rachel came closer to the door. "Paul, you ogre, get out of my way… Just let me in. I'll pee and leave. I promise I won't let the hell beast in."

"Hey!" Paul protested.

"Shut up or I'll pee on something you own. And you don't have a desensitized human nose or hardened older sibling years under your belt to be able to cope with it."

Leah cracked the door open and extended an arm holding a defensive can of hairspray. She let Rachel slip in under her arm and proceeded to slam the door and lock it again. She heard Paul's forehead thump. "I'm going to freeze to death out here!" Paul informed the two girls plainly.

They both laughed and Leah told Rachel to lock the door on her way out and bring the whiney pup another towel.

Leah heard Rachel leave for class not long after her bathroom trip and Leah herself was out of the bathroom after a grand total of five minutes. Showering was quick when every body part could be scrubbed with a bar of Ivory. With the towel wrapped around her she carefully undid the lock and opened the door.

The passage of five minutes and a 108 degree body temperature assured that Paul did not – in fact – freeze to death, but was completely dry. Leah laughed a little at the sight of how his hair had dried. "Think you're funny, huh?" he asked as he leaned against the wall just outside the door.

She couldn't help but grin. "Paul I have to be at work really soon. You don't have anywhere to be for another hour. Sorry if I don't have any sympathy for you."

"You're lucky you're cute."

She scoffed. "I am not cute, Paul Lahote. I am a machine of war and pain and destruction, capable of wreaking horrible vengeance."

"True… but you're also pretty damn cute." He leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead. "Now get that tight ass out of my way, I got shit to do."