Title: Angel, In the Early Morning
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Summary: When Alex can't sleep she instinctively finds herself seeking out Nikita for comfort.
Note: Written (and takes place) immediately after the end of episode 2x11 "Pale Fire". Title is taken from the poem Angels, in the early morning by Emily Dickenson.
Nikita's eyes opened as Alex carefully positioned herself on the edge of the mattress, and a small smile touched Alex's lips.
"Still can't sneak up on you," she murmured softly, looking to the side to meet Nikita's eyes.
"This is sneaking up on me," Nikita responded wryly, her lips curving up a little as she looked at Alex. "Is something wrong?"
Alex looked away from Nikita, dropping her eyes to her lap as she began to fiddle with the bottom of her tank top.
"No, not really. I … I just wanted to see you I guess," she whispered. "I don't know why," she added softly sounding self-conscious.
She did actually know why she had come to Nikita's room. She'd come because her whole world was toppling down around her and she felt lost. She'd lost the mission that had been keeping her going for months. She'd lost the ability to believe in the memories that had gotten her through hell in the past. She'd lost her mother … again. Everything she had believed in was gone.
Except for Nikita.
So Alex had gone to find Nikita because she'd needed to be near her. She'd needed to see Nikita and hear the soft falls of her breath so that she knew she wasn't alone. So that she knew she still had something.
Nikita watched Alex for a moment, studying her profile with keen, concerned eyes.
"Come here," Nikita said a few seconds later, shifting back on the mattress to make room for Alex. "Lay down."
"No," Alex breathed out, an embarrassed smile touching her lips as she shook her head from side-to-side. "I'm fine," Alex said, glancing over at Nikita quickly before looking away again. "I don't need a teddy bear," she whispered, playing with the bottom of her tank top again.
"What if I do?" Nikita asked softly and Alex instinctively released a soft bark of laughter before turning her head to look at Nikita doubtfully. "I'm serious," Nikita breathed out a moment later, laying her head back down on her pillow as she gazed up at Alex. "I've been worried about you. At night I used to be able to open my eyes and see you, safe and sound. Climb in," Nikita said lifting the edge of the blanket. "Lemme get a goodnight's sleep for once."
Alex looked over at Nikita contemplatively. She didn't believe her. She knew Nikita was happy to have her back, but she'd been sleeping just fine before Alex came into her room. Nikita didn't need Alex lying beside to help her fall asleep. She was just saying it so that Alex wouldn't feel like she was being a bother. She was just saying it to make Alex feel better. And Alex was grateful, because she really did want to climb into bed beside Nikita and Nikita's response was the perfect excuse to do so – which she was certain Nikita knew.
"If it'll help you," Alex murmured deprecatingly, a small smile touching her lips before she shifted so that she was lying on the bed beside Nikita. "Thank you," she whispered once she was lying on her side, her back to Nikita.
"No, thank you," Nikita breathed out and Alex smiled into the pillow beneath her head.
Nikita slid closer to Alex and when her front was pressed against Alex's back she loosely draped her arm over Alex's waist. "Is this okay?" Nikita asked softly.
"Yeah," Alex whispered, "it's perfect."
She could feel tears welling in her eyes again – as they had been on and off all night – but this time she didn't fight them. She let the tears fall from her eyes, leaving trails of moisture on her cheeks and spots of wetness on her pillow. She let her body relax for the first time for months. She let Nikita hold her, and in that moment, she was content.
"Alex," Nikita said softly as she felt Alex's breathing begin to deepen. "I'm always here for you," she whispered fiercely. "No matter what it is you can come to me. Even if it's just for a hug," she continued, and Alex's body shook in her arms as she released an embarrassed huff of laughter.
Alex moved her hand to cover the one Nikita had resting on her stomach.
"I missed you," she breathed out, squeezing Nikita's hand tightly.
"I missed you too, baby girl," Nikita whispered, tightening her arms around Alex's waist as she pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder. "Go to sleep," Nikita murmured a few seconds later, loosening her hold on Alex. "I've got you."
Still holding Nikita's hand in hers, Alex closed her eyes and focused her mind on the weight of Nikita's arm over her and the warmth of Nikita's body around her, until all that she was aware of was Nikita. Her heart beat began to slow and then, wrapped safely in Nikita's embrace, Alex drifted off into a peaceful sleep.