Hey there guys and Gals!

Another Destiel fic for your reading pleasure! This probably won't be a particular long, drawn out story, perhaps 2 or 3 chapters at most. But I will try and make it as exciting as possible!

I'm picking up about a quarter of the way into 'Live free or Twihard', when Dean has just been turned and he & Sam have returned back to the motel.

Hope you guys enjoy this one, its really descriptive and a little angsty! Exactly what I need after writing a 32 chapter fluffy fic haha!

Anyways don't forget to R & R! I love to hear what you guys think and here is chapter one, ENJOY!


He was screwed.

As far as Dean Winchester was concerned, this was well and truly it for him.

Dean slammed into the bathroom, every tiny sound felt like a ringing in his ears and every flicker of light felt as though it would burn his eyes out. He would kill himself before the night was over, was sure of it infact.

Going down fighting wasn't quite how Dean would put it; always so certain his death would come after an exchange of brave words and a bloody fight with a demon or some other hell beast.

Becoming one of THEM was the last thing Dean wanted, he felt disgusting and loathed himself right at that moment, he would rather be back on the rack of hell, tortured and bloodied at the hands of Alistair.

But this…being turned into a Vampire while your brother watched on? It wasn't on Dean's bucket list, that's for sure and kill or be killed was NOT an option…it was be killed all the way, even if it meant he had to do it himself.

Dean knew this was his last night on earth, there was no point hanging around and he didn't want to become a risk to anybody.

Turning on the cold water tap, Dean splashed his face trying to drain away this 'disease' he now carried and lifting his head, he took in the sight of himself in the mirror, hating the person looking back at him.

It's not as though it was his fault, the vamp got the better of him and yet Dean couldn't stand the person looking back.

An uncomfortable feeling was settling on the gums in his mouth and Dean instantly knew what it meant. He carefully drew up his top lip and took sight of the beginnings of a vampire fang, pushing through the tender skin. With a loud groan of distaste, Dean let his lip go and pushed himself backwards, away from the sink.

He considered running and hiding away somewhere, but it wasn't an option and Dean knew deep down what needed to be done. If Sammy couldn't do it, then Samuel probably could…but Dean didn't know if he wanted to be killed at the hands of somebody who he disliked. So it would fall to Dean himself to undertake the act, but he needed one last goodbye from the people he cared about.

Dean would be back for Sam before the blood cravings would kick in, but for now he made a swift exit out of the bathroom window before Samuel could arrive…he had things to do.


Vision was becoming blurred.

Each and every little noise was becoming more deafening.

Every smell that filled the air was strong and almost abusive.

The bang of a door…

The constant chatter…

Hearts Beating…

Blood rushing…

Dean had been walking down the street for no more than 10 minutes and his heightened senses couldn't take it anymore.

The worst of it was, he had no idea where to go next, no idea who to say goodbye to and the more Dean thought about it, he was beginning to wonder whether it was a good idea at all.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry"

Dean stumbled slightly as the petite blonde girl accidently pushed into him and apologised.

He barely registered her apology as she continued walking, but the beat of her heart was ever present in his ears and he still heard the drumming as she walked away. The smell of her perfume had hit Dean immediately and more worrying to him, so had the smell of her blood.

Dean's head was swimming with confusion and the call of blood lust, he needed help or to get back to Sam and get this crap over with before he did some real damage.

Managing to pull himself off the busy street and into a dark alleyway, Dean slumped against the wall.

"Stay in control Dean, come on…hold out a little longer…"

He rambled hopelessly to himself, almost as though giving his urges and feelings a pep talk.

Dean ran his hands over his face and smacked the palms against his ears, trying to desperately drown out the sounds of people out on the street and rats running down the alleyway.

"ARGH I need help…please…"

Screaming and squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Dean rocked back and forth losing his mind.


Realisation started to sink in and he knew exactly who could help him.

"CAS! Castiel please, I need…I need some help…please I need you…"

Dean was yelling and now frantically pacing up and down the alleyway, calling out, almost begging for the angel to appear.

Seconds later, the sound of wings echoed loudly in Dean's ears and he spun around, coming face to face with a concerned looking Castiel.

"Dean…what is it? What's wrong?" Cas said, feeling incredibly concerned for the broken looking man in front of him.

Dean shook his head and pushed past Castiel, hearing his heart beat loudly from the vessel, the sound of Cas' blood rushing around his system, a constant screech which sounded a lot like Cas' true form and even though it wasn't nearly as horrifying as when Dean had first heard it, the nagging noise was buzzing quietly in the back of Dean's head, driving him even more over the edge.

"Oh god…Cas, I can't…I shouldn't have called you…you need to leave…"

Covering his ears once more, Dean moved away from Cas trying to drown out every sensation that filled him up inside.

"Dean, I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on…" Cas gritted out urgently, now fearing the worst.

Castiel could sense a strong supernatural force surrounding Dean, but couldn't put his finger on what it was and the pull was clearly getting stronger. Until Dean told him what it was, Cas couldn't help and that was worrying him greatly.

"Dean…" Cas said, reaching a hand out to touch Dean's arm.

"DON'T TOUCH ME…Please just…get back…"

Instinctively Dean pulled away, putting distance between him and the angel.

It was getting too much for Dean and the blood lust was now rapidly approaching, being close to a warm body for this long was going to end him.

The sounds of Castiel's blood pumping through his veins…

The coppery smell of blood calling to Dean…

And Cas' blood was different, he could smell it…there was almost an air of power that Dean badly wanted to taste.

"You wouldn't have called on me…if you didn't need me Dean…Now please tell me what is going on, maybe I can help…"

Castiel begged, risking another step towards Dean and this time he didn't back away, his eyes met with Castiel's and that was the last thing the angel registered before his body was slammed against the brick wall.

Dean's hands twisted in Cas' trenchcoat and holding him steady against the wall. Their faces were inches apart and the sensations had risen a considerable amount for Dean, being this close was almost torture.

"Nobody can help me Cas…I am beyond help…Hell, I don't even know if I have the balls to even go through with…" Dean said through gritted teeth, losing his train of thought towards the end.

Cas gripped Dean's forearms were they held him in place and stared wide eyed at the hunter.

"I don't understand…go through with what Dean?" Cas asked, trying to remain calm.

"It doesn't matter now…I just…don't know if I can control myself any longer…"

His head fell forward against Cas' neck, the smell drawing Dean in and finding himself slipping further into his Vampire infested mind.

"…Mmm Cas, you should have run man…I don't want to do this…but the smell…it's intoxicating."

Dean nuzzled against Castiel's neck, breathing in the coppery scent which called out to him, in any other circumstance this would have been weird as hell, but in this moment Dean was not himself anymore and he couldn't care less.

Cas stiffened more so than usual, this time in what Dean assumed to be fear and the poor angel had no clue what was going on.

"Dean? Please, don't do anything stupid…you're stronger than this." Cas said calmly, although his body language screamed fear.

He pushed back slightly and met with Cas' blue gaze, which looked like a mixture of concern and outright terror. It was at that moment Dean pushed away and found himself again, Cas was his friend and he couldn't see anything happen to him.

"I'm so sorry Castiel" Dean rushed out his apology and darted out of the alleyway, making a sprint for the motel.

Cas stood hopeless against the wall and his mind buzzed with a million different scenarios, none of them sitting well with him.

Whatever this was, Cas wasn't too sure…but all he knew was, Dean's apology sounded a lot like a goodbye.