A/N: HOLY CRAP months ago I wrote this fic and forgot to post it... XD Well, enjoy! :)


"Ginny, I just realized, your birthday is only two weeks away!" Molly exclaimed at dinner one night.

"Well, glad you realized it."

"What do you want for your birthday?" Molly ignored Ginny's previous comment.

"Er…" Ginny thought for a while.

"You can think on it for the night, if you wish, dear."

"I'll do that."


Ginny thought all night about what she wanted, but all she could come up with was a new broom. As if her mum could afford a Firebolt…

When Tonks came in the next morning, Ginny still had no idea what she wanted. As usual, Tonks knocked over the troll leg umbrella stand, causing Mrs. Black to scream insults at everyone. This gave Ginny her idea.

"So, Ginny," Molly began after Sirius had yelled at his mum to shut up, "Did you decide what you want for your birthday?"

"Yes, I did. There's something I'd like you to do on my birthday, something you don't have to buy. And I'd like Dad to use a recording spell while you do it, so I can enjoy the humor forever."

"Very well then… just tell me I'm doing something safe."

"Oh, very safe." Ginny smirked.


"Happy birthday, Ginny!" said Molly brightly, as her only daughter walked into the dining room for breakfast.

"Thanks, mum."

"Just out of curiosity, what will I be doing today?"

"Well… I'd prefer you find out when you're about to do it. I'll just say Tonks gave me the idea."

"Oh, Merlin..."


"You want me to WHAT?" Molly screamed.

"Have a screaming contest with Mrs. Black's portrait. You know, Sirius' mum. You already said you'd do it."

"Ginny… oh, fine." Molly only agreed because she couldn't break her promise.

"Well then… no rules. Dad, get the recording spell ready."

"It's ready."

"Alright. BEGIN!" Ginny yelled, followed by Fred, George, and Ron.

"FILTH, BLOOD-TRAITERS, HALF-BREEDS, MUDBLOODS, SOILING THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS!"

"UNGRATEFUL WOMAN, EVIL, FILTH, YOU DESERVE TO BE FED TO BUCKBEAK WITH ALL THE OTHER BLOODY MEATS SITTING IN YOUR OLD BEDROOM!"

"THE BLOOD-TRAITER DARES TO SPEAK TO ME?"

"IT'S NOT VERY DIFFICULT, IS IT?"

"YOU GET OUT OF THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS, FILTHY BLOOD-TRAITER!"

"YOU GET OFF OF THIS WALL, STUCK-UP PURE-BLOOD MANAIC!"

"You show her, mum!" shouted Fred.

"Can I blast her off the wall?" asked George eagerly.

"I USED A PERMANENT STICKING CHARM, IMBECILIC BLOOD-TRAITER!"

"BUT THOSE AREN'T REALLY PERMANENT IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT POISONS!"

"GEORGE, YOU WILL NOT BE USING POISONS IN MY CARE, YOUNG MAN!"

"SHUT UP, BLOOD-TRAITORS, SPOILING THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS!"

"MUM, DON'T YOU WANT TO GET RID OF HER?"

"I DON'T WANT YOU USING POISONS!"

"BUT MUM…"

There was eventually yelling from everyone as the Weasleys, Walburga Black, and even Kreacher yelled at the top of their lungs. It gave her a headache, but overall, Ginny thought this was the best birthday present she'd ever received: the funniest, too.


A/N: Man, that would be SO fun. :D I'd bring earplugs, though...