Leather Is Cool.
"I can't believe we were dragged into this," The Doctor mumbles grumpily. They were in a shopping centre, apparently, according to Amy and River, 'a girl needs to accessorise'. How could he not tell the mother and daughter similarities earlier? Amy was complaining and complaining that they have not gone somewhere 'exciting' in a while, so she came up with the idea of going shopping, much to Rory and The Doctor's protest. Anyway, 'have not gone somewhere exciting in a while'- what like seeing a volcano erupt only thirty feet away is not exciting, but shopping until your feet drop off is? He'd only been walking for about half an hour and he was already bored, even more bored than when he had to wait for Vincent to draw his painting, and that's saying something. The Doctor said no to this catastrophe in the first place, but it doesn't really help when there is another genius in the room who knows how to fly the Tardis. So here he is, carrying nine bags of clothing already, and to be honest they were not very light either. Rory was in just as much pain, carrying the weight load of a horse. Letting River know of the unlimited-amount-of-money credit card is the worst idea he has ever come up with, or ever will come up with, depending on who's view you are looking at.
"Will you two man up?" Amy declares over her shoulder, yeah, says the one carrying nothing. The Doctor stops and walks over to a wall, letting all of the bags drop from his arms and hands. He sighs with relief, the blood now managing to flow to his fingertips, creating a little tingling sensation. Rory looks over his side to see where the Doctor has gone, when he saw he was resting on the wall he soon managed to pick up the energy to run up to him and do the same. Amy and River did not even notice they had left them until Amy asked Rory a question, which was not answered, then realising there absence, she turns around to find them sprawled across the floor, breathing heavily. They walk over to them, Amy with an annoyed and pouty face, and River with an evil sly smirk. She chuckles when she is close enough for them to hear her,
"Tired already Doctor? Where's that energy and enthusiasm you always boast about?" She questions with a raised eyebrow.
"It's not my fault, we've only been here," then he raises his arm to look at his watch, "thirty minutes and my arms and legs already feel died, I wouldn't be surprised if I regenerated, and I quite like this body," he complains, leaning his head against the wall. Amy crosses her arms,
"Well, if you two stay here and watch guard of the bags then-"
"I want to go shopping to," The Doctor exclaimed, his enthusiasm returning, "I want to find a fez, seeming River blew up my other one," he glares at her with disgust, a flash back of the ripped up material flash in his eyes.
"But you Pond's are going to the boring shops," he states.
"Fine then, Rory are you alright to stay with the clothes? We'll only be about twenty minutes," Amy pleads with a smile. Rory nods, he is quite happy to just stay in this comfy position for the rest of his life, rather than continue to shop with them. Amy smiles and pecks him on the cheek,
"Text me if you need anything, I've got my phone on me." She says, blowing a kiss to him, he nods again, too exhausted to say any words. The Doctor leans up from the wall,
"Good luck," Rory comments as he is walks away, the Doctor waves him good bye and strides over to the woman. So, two women and one big shopping centre… Whatever could go wrong?
"Right okay then, so there's three floors, floor one is the restaurants and eating facilities, floor two is toys and gifts, and then floor three is clothing." River informs them, she seems very familiar with the place, she must have been here before. The Doctor claps his hands excitedly and takes a few paces forward,
"And where do you think you're going?" River asks him, a grin appearing on her face, uh oh this cannot be good news, he turns around slowly,
"T-To get myself a fez," he says nervously, gulping and fidgeting with his fingers.
"Not until you help me with my shopping you're not," she demands with no hint of sarcasm or humour, the Doctor rolls his eyes,
"But River, you're a woman, you don't want my opinion on clothes. You mock my own clothing sense, so why would it make sense for me to tell you what I like and don't like on you." He accuses, now turning around again to walk away, "you can just meet me at th-" He was cut off with a yank to the collar,
"Sweetie, you're going shopping with me." River warns, Amy looks at them both with a smile,
"I'll only be in Bestie's Boutique," she tells them, making the Doctor look at her with a pleading face of 'don't leave me'; Amy definitely does not want to stay round for this. River nods and grips onto The Doctors hand and pulls him into a shop. The Doctor just has a short glimpse of the shops name, 'frilly knickers', he shivers, this cannot be good. River walks around the shop, picking up garments that would scar the living daylights out of little children. The Doctor tries to hide his blush as much as possible, looking down at the floor, looking up at the ceiling, looking around the roo-
"Ah!" The Doctor screams in disgust quite loudly, turning around to look the other way, he accidently head butt a mannequin, which was naked. River laughs until she was red in the face, the Doctor just gave her a stern look and marches over to the exit of the shop, he has had enough of this, but River quickly enough jumps in front of him, blocking his way.
"River, I heat butt a naked lady, I have to leave this room before woman start giving me looks… Womanly looks." He panics, trying to push her out the way.
"Doctor it was a mannequin, I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose," she jokes sarcastically, laughing again,
"And besides I've got the clothes I like," she affirms, now grabbing onto his hand once more, the Doctor sighs,
"So we can leave!" He yells happily, jumping up and down in delight, River snickers while pulling him,
"Yes, you'd think so wouldn't you sweetie, but I've got to try them on now." She replies back wickedly. The Doctor gives a petrified look as he is pulled into the changing rooms. River is given a plastic object with the number three on it,
"If you need any help please use the buzzer, have a nice day," the lady behind the counter says happily, pointing the way to the dressers, River smiles back, making her way to a dresser. The Doctor sits down on the chair opposite the dresser, River sighs,
"You can come in you know," she tells him with a wink, pushing the curtain aside and stepping in...
After about twenty minutes of saying comments like: 'Oh, that looks nice', 'yeah I like that one', 'can we go now', 'yes that looks fine on you, like all the other ones did'. The Doctor loses patience; all River can hear is his huffing and puffing,
"Doctor, why don't you go try some clothes on, instead of waiting for me," she suggests, the Doctor takes that to his advantage, standing up straight away and leaving the place as fast as he could. Once he leaves the changing rooms he thinks about where he should go. Right, so a fez, that is what he needs, a good old fez. He searches around near enough every shop, not finding one anywhere. What a downer, ah well he has got the secret stash in The TARDIS anyway. He gives up and searches for some clothes instead, luckily he finds some descent clothes. He buys some bow ties, of course- because they're cool, another tweed jacket-very similar to the one he is already wearing, but he does not care. Now just some trousers, he wants something different this time, not just plain old black trousers. He searches around and finds many things: mankini's, very short shorts, holograms trousers, three quarter length trousers, zebra striped jeans… All of which he does not like, until he sees something that blows his mind. Trousers, that are shiny! He runs to them, thrilled, and feels the leather material, very silky and smooth, he picks up some that look to appear to be his size and runs to the changing room that he left River in. The woman behind the counter looks at his clothing choice strangely and gives him the token. It reads number four, the obstacle next to River, of course. He walks in and closes the curtain behind him, the last thing he needs is for anyone to watch him get undressed. He takes off his normal trousers and plonks them on the seat that is next to the mirror, and then picks up the leather pants. He pulls them up with ease and does up the button; he looks at himself in the mirror and checks himself out.
"Not too bad," he thinks to himself, checking out every angle possible, he nods and makes the decision to buy them. Unexpected to him, when he goes to take them off he struggles, at first he thinks nothing of it, so he tries to pull them harder, but the material sort of clings to his skin, he furrows he eye brows annoyed pulls at them vigorously, but they do not budge. He sits on the chair and literally ties to rip them off, eager to get them off, the grunts and pants he was making probably did not sound too good for the people waiting for a changing room. He slams his fists on the door,
"Why won't you come off," he complains angrily in a quiet tone, again trying to pull them off. He thinks of an idea. He jumps to his jacket, because he is unable to walk, and retrieves his sonic. He tries sonicing the leather, but nothing happens.
"Don't tell me you don't do leather!" He panics, using the sonic physically instead, he tries using it as a wedge to break free; but instead he drops the sonic accidentally down his trousers. He tries to get it back but it's wedged too tight for his hand to reach, so his just left with a bulge sticking out of his trousers, making him look as if he had an erection. That definitely did not look good, especially seeming the fact his in a dressing room where woman are. If a woman were to take a look at him he would probably be given the hardest smack in the galaxy. He fidgets round, not knowing what to do; it's not as if he can just waltz out there and ask for help from a stranger. He shakes the idea out of his head.
"Oh, Rory! Rory can help," he realises, jumping over to the tweed jacket once more and getting out his phone. Thank Rassilion River gave it to him earlier! He looks down the contacts list and finds Rory, he presses call on waits.
"Hello," a familiar voice greets over the phone, the Doctor smiles.
"Rory, listen, I need your help, I'm in a situation," he says desperately with a whisper.
"I told you not to go, if your feet are aching then just say you have cramp," Rory replies, thinking he knows what his problem is, boy is he wrong.
"No, Rory, listen, I bought these jeans, cause they were really cool," he can practically hear Rory roll his eyes, "but now I'm stuck. I can't get them off me, it's like they shrunk when I put them on." Rory laughs,
"Where are you, I'll come and get you." He asks, finding his situation hilarious. Oh great, further humiliation,
"F-Frilly Knickers," he mumbles the shops name quietly, Rory bursts out with laughter, his so loud that the Doctor had to cover the phone with his hands so as people did not hear, once the noise has died down he put his mouth to the phone again.
"Can you just come please," he asks anxiously, not finding this funny one bit.
"Okay, I'll be there in two." He hears him say before he ends the call. The Doctor sighs, leaning his head against the wall.
"Sweetie is that you?" He hears River asks over the two changing rooms, he gulps, how could he have forgotten that River was on the other side? He does not reply. He hears some shuffling and before he knows it River is crawling under the dressing room into his.
"River," he yells a little too loudly, covering up himself, she rolls her eyes,
"Sweetie, there's nothing there that I haven't seen before," she comments, now standing up beside him. He blushes different shades of red and closes his eyes, he hears her chuckle,
"Leather? How exciting!" She announces, admiring his new jeans, he pouts, still not moving his hand to reveal the bulge underneath.
"Yes, well I can't get it off. I've tried everything, even the sonic doesn't work," he confesses.
"The sonic doesn't work on leather sweetie," she confirms with a wink, making him blush even further, he does not even want to know.
"Yes, well, just help me please, I think it's blocking my blood supply to my legs," he whines. She sighs,
"Move your hand then sweetie otherwise I won't be able to help you." He panics and turns around,
"You know what; I think I can get out of these myself, run along Song," he utters, not wanting to make eye contact with her, could this get even more embarrassing. She spins him round and moves his hands, apparently it can. She laughs out loud at the bulge on his trousers, making him cover her mouth with his hands; she is on the point of crying.
"It's the sonic!" He yells accusingly. She cannot control herself it is too funny, he moves her round vigorously, forgetting he cannot walk properly; he falls over the curtain, falling to the floor with a thud. He opens his eyes; he was revealing himself to everyone, including Rory. Everybody screams and turns away; River-who was still laughing- picks him up quickly and closes the curtain behind them, or what's left of it. Rory walks slowly to the obstacle,
"Everything alright?" He asks, obviously knowing the answer.
"Worst. Shopping. Ever," The Doctor grumbles to himself.
Hope you liked it xD