A/N: Sorry for the delay! I've been working on my novel.

With expertise born from years of wielding a sword taller than he was, Sephiroth flipped his masamune up so that the tip rested against his throat, and then cut through Tseng's fibrewire. Tseng fell back and landed on his back with a thud. Seph leapt on top of him, driving his elbow into Tseng's stomach like a piledriver. Tseng coughed blood.

"Hey!" said Genesis. "Hey, guys, stop! Can't we all just do each other's hair and watch chick-flicks instead?"

They ignored him. For some reason, Tseng was smiling despite his injuries...


Zack dashed into the Weapons Development room and was greeted with a horrible sight.

Scarlet was straddling Cloud.

She had hitched her skirts up round her waist so that they formed a series of red, meaty wrinkles. Her arms cradled Cloud's head, like withered branches clinging to the last vestiges of summer, the summer of her girlhood that had long-since passed. In Scarlet's skullike face, Zack could see the shadows of the beautiful young woman she must have once been- a noble brow, now crinkly; large eyes, now flecked with cataracts and blood vessels that bulged.

She turned her head to face him, slowly, her old neck creaking.

"Ah, Zachary. You're just in time to witness the deflowering of Cloud."

"Not on my watch!" roared Zack, and with a roar, he pitched his sword at Scarlet. She caught it, however, and slithered to her feet, clawing out a gun from the shelf behind her.

"Oh, you like it kinky?" she said, creeping toward him, her varicose veins choking her shins. "I'm going to like the way you fight..."

Zack looked around desperately for a weapon. Unfortunately, Scarlet was between them all and him. She was now holding a gun in one hand and Zack's sword in the other, licking her flaking lips with a tongue like a rat's tail.

"I'm your main target; come on," she whispered sensuously. "Help me... ignite."

Zack tried to keep calm and think of a plan. But Scarlet was getting closer...


Tseng brought his knee up suddenly, surprising Sephiroth and knocking him off balance. In a second, Tseng had taken the advantage, rolling Seph over so that the raven-haired Turk was now on top. Tseng grinned, and for the first time, Sephiroth noticed the six-inch fangs poking out over Tseng's bottom lip.

"Genesis," yelled Sephiroth. "He's a vampire!"

"Correct, vweeheeheeheehee!" cackled Tseng. "And ze time has come to suck your blood, comrade Sephiroth!" Tseng leaned forward, anticipatingly, fingers caressing Sephiroth's neck, or more specifically, the bit of skin above his jugular, feeling the pulse that pulsed within. "Oh, you tempt me," murmured Tseng. "You tempt me..."

Sephiroth gulped. Unless he thought of something fast, he would soon join the ranks of the undead...


A/N: Managed to get some Tom Jones in there, haha! ;) Felt it suited the sexy mood. Please read and review!