EDIT: 11/02/2013


The doctors, her so-called friends, they were all irrelevant. Except one, maybe, but he was like her, and the others weren't, so it was really all irrelevant in the end, because one other wasn't enough.

She tried to enlighten the others, to make them see the reality of the dream life they were so obviously in.

"The meaning of start and end," She announced during dinner. Her parents had stared at her, and asked what she meant.

"It's unneeded. All that matters is nothing."

Miki never understood why her parents were frustrated that she talked to herself.

"I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to me. There`s 'me', 'myself', and 'I'. 'I' was spoken to yesterday, and it's not 'myself''s' turn yet."

The next day, they went to a nice, white building filled with people. A few of the people dressed in white coats and white uniforms gave her a nice white room with the very bare essentials. No beauty inside, just blankness.

She remembered standing at the window as her parents left. The outside world had trees, none of them the same – ever! How odd – and leaves and dirt and water in the ground and possibly animals though she didn't see any, and she was just looking at it all through a thin, transparent barrier from within a white room-

And she felt omnipotent.

"Good-bye, sanity." She murmured. Then she grinned. "Good-bye, good-bye!" cried Miki, delighted.

She fell asleep with a smile and woke up to a new day in the white room.

"Hello, me." She announced to the mirror in the washroom. Her mirror reflection smiled back.

"You know," she began. "You look familiar. Have we met before? I'm Miki."

And I'm SF-A2 of AHS.

She heard the nurse come in with her pills. The pretty, pink and white pills. Like candy. Shame it didn't taste anything like candy, though. Or cherries. Miki liked cherries. Cherries would have been nice, with their deep rich red in the white, blank room.

"Good-bye," she whispered, and then walked out of the bathroom, away from SF-A2. Miki would go back. She needed SF-A2.

She just knew she did.

The beginning and the end had no significance. She knew that. But what about the middle? She wanted to leave, sometimes, either into the outside world where not everything was white and sterile but wild and colorful and never orderly, or into the mirror world where SF-A2 of AHS lived.

Always, the men in white said nice things to her and gave her candy. And pills.

She didn't want nice things said to her, or candy, or pills. She wanted to fly, all the way to the stars.

She jumped, only to fall.

It's just an illusion. Whispered SF-A2 soothingly.

"Then why can't I escape?" wailed Miki to the android-like girl from AHS.

SF-A2 gave a sympathetic smile, and she wiped away the tears that had dribbled down her cheek.

Her doctor turned away from her and SF-A2 in the mirror. Eavesdropping on them, was he? Well, now it was her turn to be blatantly rude.

"There is no cure for your daughter's condition. I'm sorry."

Her mother and her father, both looking nervous, glanced at her. "Why isn't she in a straitjacket?"

"Well, she is quite harmless, so we can't put her in one yet. However, we still believe it would be a bad idea to expose her to society right now."

Did that mean she was crazy? Or did she have a disease like her grandfather?

When the nurse came to take her back, she decided to set the people in white straight. "Nurse Ann, I'm not crazy."

The blond nurse smiled at Miki sweetly. "Of course, dearie."

"I'm not, I just have iNSaNiTY."

"Oh?"

"But you don't write it like 'insanity'," And for the rest of the day, she spent her time teaching her nurse how to write 'iNSaNiTY' and 'PSYCHoPaTHY' and other words in the uneven, strange and random mix of capital and smaller letters.

The next morning, she looked into the mirror and saw a person in the land of the looking glass.

"You look familiar."

I'm SF-A2, from AHS.

"Well, want to talk?"

And so they did, till Nurse Ann came in and apologized for interrupting her conversation with her friend. "But would you like to come with me to the rec room? It'll be fun, Miki."

Fun was good. Fun was fun. Miki walked down the hall with Nurse Ann. She was going to a wreck room. "Do you wreck things in the wreck room?"

And Nurse Ann explained to Miki for the fifth time, that it was a 'rec room', short for 'recreational' and not for destroying at all.

The wreck room. It sounded nice. The people in there were nice, too, and they didn't just sound nice, they looked nice.

In the wreck room, she met Kaito. Miki thought he was nice. Sadly, Nurse Ann disagreed.

He was a funny man, with funny clothes. Nurse Ann told her he wore something called a straitjacket. It looked like bandages, and made him look like a mummy. He couldn't move his arms, though. She would have liked the straitjacket, but she liked her arms. Miki didn't understand why Kaito liked wearing it.

"Have I seen you before?" he asked, turning around without the use of his arms.

Miki tipped her head to one side. "I don't know. Have we?"

"Maybe. You know, Luka, you are my most important person."

Miki laughed. "Silly Mr. Blue!" she giggled at her own wit, one apparently no one else could see. "I`m Miki, Mr. Blue!"

"It's me, Kaito!" He cried desperately. "Don't you remember? Just today, a couple of hours ago, we went to the movies!"

Miki shook her head. "No. But I`m sure this Luka person will!" and for the rest of the hour in the wreck room, she looked for a woman named Luka. If she was in the wreck room, Luka had to be nice too.

"Maybe . . ." Kaito whispered sadly. "Maybe she forgot," He smiled, his lips stretching to something that showed both sadness and insane glee at the same time. "I have to remind her."

Nurse Ann took her away. She didn't see Kaito again.

Oh, well. She still had a friend in mirrorland.

Miki looked into the mirror. No SF-A2.

Good-bye, Miki . . . .

Miki screamed.

"No! No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"

She cried.

The nurse came in, and she scowled at her. "What are you looking at?" she demanded.

The doctor came in. "Great, a bunch of nuts who think they can mentally dissect a person."

Miki followed them to some kind of a shrink's office, cursing them heartily all the way. Several so-called tests had the doctor rubbing his eyes in disbelief.

The next day, her parents were there.

"A true miracle! We all believed there was no hope!"

"We can go home, Miki! Piko missed you so much!"

"Everyone will be so glad!"

And dressed in a normal dress – not the white garbs of the mental patients – a thought that brought a wave of nostalgia silently spoke with what felt like desperate insanity. 'Why, SF-A2, why did you leave me?'

Something in her smiled, and opened. With an exhilarating rush, she felt the familiar darkness fill her. The few sparkling lights faded away.

Silly Miki. It was SF-A2!

I never left you, she whispered.

I am you.

And she collapsed to her knees, laughing hysterically and crying tears of joy.

As the nurse came running, her mother faced the doctor with fury in her reddish-brown eyes – like dried up blood.

"You said she was better!"

"Ma`am, Miki's mind is a fragile, unstable thing. Relapse is not too uncommon. Now, there are new treatments we have to offer. . . ."

But who cared? Miki didn't, and as for SF-A2 . . . .

We-I-You, whispered the inner voice. Are the same. We'll be together forever, Miki.

"Forever," She agreed contently.

And that was that.

Miki 'SF-A2' Hiyama

Born December 9th, 1952

Died January 8th, 2022

Beloved Daughter, Member of the Hatsune Mikuo Institute, and Friend.


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