Hey guys! This is the Cullen Wife Swap. I do not own Wife Swap...
Stephenie Meyer: And Twilight
Me: ... and Twilight :(
This morning, I had a brilliant idea. I would sign our family onto Wife Swap! So, without further ado, I grabbed Andrew's video camera from his room and started filming. Before I could however, Alice came bounding in the room like the hyper pixie she is.
"Good plan Emmett. I saw it and it'll work." She said while bouncing up and down clapping her hands in glee.
The rest of the family – except Carlisle and Esme came in looking confused. Except for Eddie. Whoops, Edward, I meant to say. He snorted and Bella just looked at him in confusion. So did everyone else. Edward gave a sigh and said, "Emmett's planning to sign us up onto Wife Swap." This revelation was met by varying opinions.
"I don't mind."
"Emmett you ninny, why would you do that?"
So, in the end, they all agreed on it. Yes! Score one for me.
I came back from work and checked the mail – not that we got much. There were the usual magazine subscriptions, and other envelopes. There was a mail from Andrew – my youngest son who joined shortly after the Volutri came to Forks. Then there was a letter from an unknown source.
I opened it and hissed involuntarily. What had those kids done now? It was a letter from some television show called 'Wife Swap'. It read:
Dear Mr Cullen,
We are pleased to inform you that your entry for Wife Swap has been picked. The producers of the show will be around your house on Wednesday the 16th of May to take a few shots of your family. On the following day, a limousine will be coming to pick up Esme Cullen. Mrs Cullen will be swapping with the Hill family from Pittsburgh, PA. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions.
The Wife Swap team
I frowned as I went into the house calling for a family meeting at the same time. Esme appeared looking worried. "What's happened?" I shook my head indicating that I would discuss this later. The kids trickled down the stairs. One couple followed by another.
"What," I asked them, "Is the meaning of this?"
Esme picked up the letter that I had thrown onto the table. She let out a hiss and narrowed her eyes when she read it. "Who. Did. This?" I looked around at the kids and they were looking anywhere but Esme and me.
Emmett. That boy was behind this, wasn't he? Behind the rest of his siblings, Edward gave a short, sharp nod. Just then, the vampire in question said, "I did it Carlisle, Esme."
I just gave myself in! What was I thinking? Oh, yeah Rose… I let my mind drift back to those wonderful memories. A few hours ago that is. Edward gave a groan "Emmett please. Just don't start." I glared at him. Stupid mind reading vampire.
"Emmett, what were you thinking when you signed us up for this?" Carlisle groaned.
"Technically, Carlisle, Emmett doesn't really think much." Edward added. Alice chirped in, "Can we please join. I mean I checked the weather there and it won't be sunny for the two weeks that you're there." That's when the rest of the family joined in pleading with Carlisle and Esme.
"We'll be good kids."
"We promise nothing bad will happen to the human."
Carlisle gave a sigh. "All right, we'll do it. But Emmett, you're in big trouble."
Yes! Whatever my punishment is, it's worth it.
"No touching Rosalie for the two weeks that the new mum is here."
Ok. I take that back. Nooooooooooooooooo! Why Carlisle? Why must you be so cruel? Edward chuckled. "It's your own fault Emmett." I gave him another glare. Get out of my head Eddie. Or I'll start thinking about Rosie again… "Ok. Ok. I'll stop."
Please Review. Bit short - I know. The video Emmett made is next.