Time once again for something completely different! This is that short and silly version of StarFox written in verse—Only this time, it's StarFox Assault. I'm not particularly impressed with this version, in my opinion the original is still the best, but what the hey? but please, no requests for SFC, I hate that game and it's story, no way am I going to do a 'The Time Has Come' of it.
T H E - T I M E - H A S - C O M E
"The Time has come" the General said, "I'm really getting sick,
of trotting out this same old line each time we're in a stick,
alas it's true, that once again, we're under heavy fire
This time Andrew is the brat, for calling me a liar!
The lollipop I offered him, when we were talking peace,
The wrong flavour is what he claimed, and then our talks were ceased.
So now we need you, get here quick, the team that numbers five,
Falco Brash, and Peppy Wise, Slip to fix the Warping Drive.
Krystal can use her psychic traits, to predict bad guy's moves.
Fox; leader of this jolly band, who makes the lot run smooth."
Fox McCloud was used to this, so merely rolled his eyes,
they blasted through the big warp gate, Andrew got a surprise!
They beat him quick, they beat him well; was not much of a fight.
Then attacked a big metal bug, that gave a nasty bite.
They dispatched that, with difficulty, Foxie and his team.
They stole the core from in it's shell, but then did Slippy scream
thousands more began to arrive, and so they split, and fast,
they rang Pepper, who groaned and told a story from the past.
Beltino Toad, joined the tale, the head of R & D
though it seems he doesn't brag at home, no idea, had Slippy.
Either way, they tale they told, was not a thing of joy.
A whole fleet these things could beat, as if it where a toy.
The Aparoids, as they where called, became priority,
more information was required, from a new core mem'ry.
With that in mind they were dispatched, to the Katinain sticks
it was a trap, and before long, hundreds joined the mix.
Fox had just destroyed the 'oids, that littered up the base,
he beat the boss, a giant one, then Pigma showed his face.
The nice old chap, that Pigma was, that though they saved his life
he pilfered their Memory Core, and threw them into strife.
"GET IT BACK! YOU SIMPLY MUST!" Beltino was aghast,
So Fox dropped in on Sargaso, Wolf was always a blast!
But as it was, just in this case, they got it rather wrong,
Pigma & Drew had kicked a stink, so Wolf gave them the gong,
Krystal's beauty, stole Panther's Heart, and so to her he spilled,
Pigma's locale, on Fichina, where they'd be nicely chilled.
They're disappointed once again, Pig left as they arrive,
while they faced the Climate Control machine that came alive.
At last they trapped the beastly Pig, in the Asteroid field,
After he fused with a big base did he finally yield,
or actually, they beat him up, he didn't get a say,
but recov'ring the core mem'ry, made Beltino's day.
But tragedy then broke the news, Sauria was attacked,
And so the team raced over there, to fight with little tact.
Another trap though to be sure, they found out to their cost,
that while they'd saved King Tricky's group, Corneria'd gone and lost.
The only way, to fix the place, was to use the radar,
And that could be done, only from, the ground and rather far.
When the jambers, had bit the dust, Radar use came back,
but the 'roids took over the Gen' who came out to attack.
Shock and Surprise, StarWolf arrived, for once to save the day,
While They and Fox, shot at his plane, the general lived to say:
"My lollipops I leave to Pep, He'll need them more than me—"
"Shut up, Sir, we'll save you yet, just you wait and see!"
and in the end, the general's death, was fated not to be,
An extra Arwing did appear, Broke his fall did Peppy!
Well all that was good and well, but, work was still to be done.
Belty found the enemy queen, a war still must be won.
So while he, and his research team, tried to make a bomb,
Fox and co, had to save the gate, just what could go wrong?
Missiles! Dozens! where just the thing, to make Fox earn his pay,
but yet again they persevered, and saved the one gate way.
And thus they arrived with bomb in hand, to face the enemy nest,
when they arrived and found a shield... well Falco said it best.
I won't tell you just what he said, I think it rather rude,
But Peppy had the perfect cure, 'though it was also crude.
With Great Fox hit, and goin' down, he gave the shield a ram,
It splinted to a thousand bits, but made Great Fox go bam!
"Keep going on!" Yelled Peppy Hare, "You damn morons go now!
"That shield will be coming right back! And now I take my bow!
With that in mind, though choking tears, Fox urged his team to go,
and with a sob, and then a sigh, they followed him down below.
But more surprise, that yet again, StarWolf was on their rear.
Here to help them just one more time, kill baddies far and near.
In the depths, of the planet's core, distraction was required
So Starwolf split, to lead away, the baddies who weren't tired.
Then Fox and crew, beheld the queen, of the whole nest of bugs
She tried to cheat, with visions of, a line of talking mugs.
First one she tried, was Pigma's voice, warning of senseless fights
Then Pepper, and Peppy as well, then sank to lower heights
cause last of all, and just for Fox, a vision of his dad,
But Fox knew what they had to do, Blow up the queeny bad.
And at the end the good team won, and queeny took a blast,
the world began to blow apart, Fox knew they wouldn't last
"Evacuate, at Maxi V!" He yelled and then took flight,
and they escaped the planet's end, a awe inspiring sight.
But best of all, as calm as pie, Peppy and Rob appeared.
"That's it now, I'm gunna quit!" Said Pep while the team cheered
Once again they'd won the day, the third time on the trot
They made the poets laugh and sing, while the tale they did jot.
And once again, Lylat knew peace, And Starfox lead the way
And fly amongst the stars they would, forever and a day!
T H E - E N D