Ghostbusters 2022: Ghosts Can't Do It, Part Two

From the Files of Dr. Fritz V. Baugh, GBI Historian
GBI Case File GBNY-2022-40/044

Ghostbusters Central

A loud, booming belch reverberated through the firehouse, causing Eden Spengler to look up from the workbench in shock, and a little bit of disgust. She then heard Slimer laughing heartily.

Eden rolled her eyes. "Jeremy knows better than to challenge Slimer to a belching contest." she said aloud. "Slimer always wins..."

Eden heard the sounds of the ECTO-1 replivehicle returning, and this prompted her to disconnect the GBX she was studying, and make her way downstairs.

John and TJ arrived back at GBCentral to find Jeremy Cranston looking dejected, and Slimer doing a sort of endzone dance. Several empty two-liter Gurgle-Urp bottles littered the reception desk.

"You challenged him to a belching contest again, didn't you?" John asked.

Jeremy nodded. "I really thought I had him this time-I had a three cola lead and everything."

TJ rolled her eyes. "I'm certain you could have found better uses for you time, Mister Cranston."

John bit back a joke about Well, yeah, but Edie was probably upstairs in the lab... It was obvious that Jeremy had a crush on his sister, but it gave John the creeps. It just reminded him a little bit too much of a rather grotesque bit of family history he preferred not to be reminded of under any circumstance. Granted, Jer isn't an accountant, but still...

The fact that Eden had chosen that second to appear at the top of the stairs made his silence fortuitous-she probably would not have appreciated the joke, if she even understood it. Like Mom says...Edie's a lot like Pop...

"I just finished the diagnostic to the GBX." Eden said, tossing the device to him. "I couldn't find a single anomalous reading in the containment matrix-I think that alpha alignment subroutine you wrote appears to have finally stabilized it."

"Prodigious." John grinned. "Maybe now I can convince the rest of my fellow Ghostbusters to stop taking the old traps along."

"Not yet." TJ said, hefting the bag of items taken from the Jones Beach Sedgewick. "I think each and every one of us will have to use it successfully first, at the very least."

Eden looked around. "Eric and Marie?"

John shook his head. "We have some leads on the problem, but we wanna run some tests here. They're staying at the Sedgewick in case something else happens-they'll call if it does."

"And I'm still not sure that was wise." TJ noted.

John shrugged. "They are on the clock."

"Yes, but one of them is Marie Lupin." TJ countered.

"Good point." John admitted.

Slimer floated along, babbling about his victory over Jeremy Cranston. He took another massive swig of a bottle of Gurgle-Urp.

The three Ghostbusters entered the main lab; TJ set the sack of samples down on a table, and started to remove them carefully.

John and Eden looked at a computer screen. "The fifth matrix variable is so flat, I wonder..."

"What?" Eden asked.

"I wonder if I could raise the positronic inductor flow back up from six to seven." John grabbed the GBX and started to toggle through some settings. "It would get another six percent containment capacity, and still shouldn't compromise the field integrity."

"Unless it's overloading the induction regulator." Eden countered. "If that's what led to the failure back in June..."

"We'll never know without trying." John returned. "I mean, it's either the induction regulator, or the flow sensor switch. If it's the flow sensor switch, then this will make the GBX even better without bothering the flow sensor switch!"

TJ rolled her eyes, and contemplated leaving the room.

"Slimer!" John called excitedly.

Slimer babbled nervously and floated over. He'd been subject to enough trap tests over the last four decades he knew what was coming next. He took another massive gulp of his drink.

"On three!" John said, brandishing the GBX.

On "three" Slimer was sucked into the device, whimpering.

John studied the readings.

"Well?" Eden asked.

"I think it's the induction regulator." John said flatly, dropping the GBX.

Jeremy threw the last empty bottle into the trash. "I think Dr. Venkman's right-Slimer really is an undead stomach..."

His thought was interrupted by the whole building shaking violently.

Jeremy rolled his eyes and shrugged. "John works fast, doesn't he?"

TJ had managed to get behind a bench before the explosion. The Spengler twins weren't so lucky, and it was quite obvious that Eden was smoldering in a metaphorical sense in addition to a literal one.

"Well now we know?" John said sheepishly.

"Science can be painful, I realize, but you, Johnathan Christopher, can really belabor the point!" Eden spat out, throwing her singed vest to the ground.

"Sorry?" John said.

Slimer floated by, looking dazed. He burped loudly, then babbled "Excuse me"

"Obviously, I'm letting Edie use the shower first." John told TJ brightly.

"Obviously." TJ nodded.

"Good idea." John nodded.

As they left the room, the dazed Slimer spotted something on the floor. It drew his attention-a plastic bottle filled with blue liquid, which somehow him.

He squinted. There were letters on it. He sounded them out to himself. "Sham...poo?" He lit up. "Shampoo!" He not only deciphered the letters, he knew the word! Wouldn't Peter be proud of him?

And then he realized why it must have seemed "off"...the Ghostbusters kept shampoo in the bathroom! In the shower stall!

He knew he had to hurry-Eden was gathering some unsinged clothes, and would be using it soon. Remembering how mad Eden's Mom got when Peter sent him in there once (to look for doughnuts in her shower cap) he decided he'd better be quick. She might even be mad at him if the shampoo wasn't there!

Feeling proud of himself, Slimer grabbed the bottle and floated off quickly.

The shower was already running at her preferred temperature by the time Eden threw her last item of singed clothing into the pile by the toilet. Her blue and pink flight suit, along with a set of clean underclothes (one more failsafe her mother had ordered her to have on hand due to frequent experience) were on the toilet lid waiting for her to finish.

As she stood under the shower head, she was barely registering the spray of water, her head veering between thoughts of murdering her brother, and the equations she'd been working on before the "accident"

She basically was on auto pilot as she grabbed the shampoo bottle and splorched out a handful, angrily starting to rub it into her scalp. I could arrange an experiment with the dimensional portal, and "accidentally" send Johnathan to the Netherwold...

TJ opened the door angrily. She knew if her old police academy instructor was there, he'd ream her alive for "Leaving unsecured evidence lying about". The chaos of the failed GBX experiment was no excuse.

She was relieved to see the two taped up Petri dishes of slime from the event site, but it was replaced with panic. Where's the shampoo bottle? She looked under the bench. Nothing. She saw the bag with the soap bar from Kay Johnson's shower...

And next to it was a bit of familiar green slime.

"Slimer!" TJ shouted brusquely.

Slimer appeared, still looking pleased with himself.

John entered too, wiping his face with a wet paper towel from the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

"Slimer..." TJ asked him. "Did you see a bottle of shampoo on the floor here?"

Slimer nodded excitedly.

"Was it blue?"

He continued to nod.

"Where is it now?"

Slimer pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

The could hear the shower running.

"Oh. Shit." John and TJ said in unison

She was angry, but it hadn't turned her powers of observation off completely. Strange...this shampoo doesn't seem to be lathering yet. She looked at her left hand. The translucent blue shampoo seemed unaffected by the water, as a large globule of the material fell from...

...And stopped in midair.

"Hey, Baby...wanna wrestle?"

She spun around to find an entity floating there, still congealing out of the translucent blue material. It had a human head-male, with scraggly shampoo (ectoplasm, she realized) forming a vague impression of hair. It had a large nose and slightly bucked teeth, but its eyes were dancing with anticipation.

She glanced at the shower caddy-the Sedgewick Special shampoo bottle sat there, now empty. In a flash it all fit together: while this wasn't the Jones Beach Sedgewick, the circumstances otherwise fit the disappearance of Kay Johnson: woman in shower, empty bottle.

There was pounding at the door to the bathroom. "Eden!" John's voice shouted, full of worry.

"Johnath...Mgph!" Eden had started to shout back, but the entity had shot out a blue tendril, stuffing it into Eden's mouth, preventing her from making any other sound.

"Not so loud,, like, spoils the mood."


"And I'm in the mood for love!"

With that, he shot out more tendrils, grabbing her arms and legs. There was a swirling mass of blue energy behind the entity, and in a quick motion, Eden was thrown into it-alone, unarmed, and naked as the day she was born.

"I guess it's back to my place!"

John rammed the door with his shoulder, but he and TJ were greeted by the sight they feared most: a shower stall empty save for the Sedgewick Special bottle that almost seemed to be mocking them.

Jones Beach Sedgewick

Eric watched one of the wisps of smoke drift around the room. He wasn't actually smoking, of course-it was one bad habit he'd not picked up from his father-but the illusionary cigarette in his hand (a bit of Creo Imagonem) felt like the proper customary afterward.

"Sooo..." Marie said "How mad do you think Johnny and TJ would be if they knew we were goofing off like this?"

"Not my fault they're so uptight." Eric shrugged. "I left the meter on, with the volume up, so if there was any PKE change, we'd have heard it."

"Are you sure?" Marie teased. "I mean, that tantric stuff you pulled was pretty...distracting."

Eric chuckled, and pulled on a pair of pants. "Of course, if I hadn't told the meter to ignore my own pattern, it probably would have blown up."

There was a thing or two Marie was wanting to tease him about. Mostly involving a certain eight hundred pound gorilla that was more of a one hundred forty pound blonde from higher up the evolutionary ladder, but why spoil the moment?

The GBX sounded it's comm alert. Eric looked at the display. "Oh, good, it's Teacher." He opened the channel. "Hey, JC, so what's the re..."

Marie saw his face harden, and somehow knew she wasn't going to like it even before he exclaimed "Eden what?

Location Unknown

The world spun around her, but thankfully not in the "Tilt A Whirl until your whole body wants to projectile vomit" way she'd often heard her father and his friends describe unwanted teleportation.

For a brief moment, there was a rush of air that felt cold to her wet, naked body, then she abruptly splashed into a pool of warm, viscous slime.

Fortunately, the entity was no longer constraining her arms and legs...she hesitantly got to her knees, and wiped slime out of her eyes to open them.

The area was mostly dark, but there was a slight glow from the pool in which she was crouched. The pool was filled with what appeared, to her trained eye, to be the same bluish ectoplasm that her attacker was comprised of.

Well now...this is an unexpected scenario, isn't it? She took a glance at herself; other than being covered in blue sludge and nothing else, no obvious physical injury. Under other circumstances, this might be an interesting opportunity for scientific study, but right now...

"Oh my God!" a female voice shouted "Another one! I was beginning to think I'd..."

Eden looked up to see another woman; like her, completely naked, and covered in blue sludge, possibly stirred up by Eden's arrival. "...I was beginning to think I'd never see another human being again." the woman sniffled.

Even covered in goo, Eden recognized the woman from the pictures Bassett had brought to the firehouse. "Kay Johnson, I presume?"

The woman blinked. "How did you know?"

Eden held out an arm, and Kay helped her stand up. It was awkward, as the slime was slippery, but they managed it. "I'm Dr. Eden Spengler, with Ghostbusters International. We were brought into your case due to suspicion of paranormal involvement with your disappearance, which I think can be safely confirmed."

"As you can guess, the exact circumstances of our meeting are highly...accidental. For one thing, I am hardly in uniform."

Kay managed a rueful chuckle at this.

"Normal GBI procedure calls for a flight suit and a particle accelerator when encountering an ectoplasmic entity." Eden just realized why the woman chuckled, not having intended to make a joke, but glad she did. "Are you all right?"

"I'm not hurt or anything." Kay nodded. "Looks like the bastard got you the same way he got me...I was taking a shower, and he popped out of the shampoo bottle...before I knew it, I was dropped into this dark, slimy hole."

Kay crossed her arms to make herself less exposed. It would only be later that Eden would realize that she, herself, never bothered, just standing there like she had forgotten she was naked. She'd later theorized that perhaps the entity's ectoplasm had psychomagnetheric properties designed to loosen inhibitions...or maybe Eden was just too wrapped up in the mystery of the situation to even care.

"At least the temperature is comfortable." Eden noted. "Under the circumstance..."

"I looked for a way out..." Kay continued, gesturing.

With Kay Johnson's immediate health determined, Eden followed the gesture to look around and process her surroundings. We're in the bottom of an empty swimming pool! she realized. Well, empty save for the sixty centimeter layer of ectoplasm at the deep end, which is where we are...

"...I mean, this looks like the deep end of a swimming pool..." Kay continued, agreeing with Eden's unspoken observation. "But if I take more than a few steps toward the shallow end, and the ladders..."

To illustrate her point, Kay did just that, and the layer of slime undulated, and tendrils of it welled into their way, obstructing their path to the ladders. "That happens!" Kay finished.

"The entity obviously has control over the ectoplasmic material here. It might even be part of it. If only..." If only I had my proton pack. But I don't. "What, if anything, has the entity done to you since you've been here?"

"Nothing! I swear!" said the now-familiar voice of the ghost.

Four tendrils sprang out of the slime, grabbing Eden's arms and legs.

"Oh no!" Kay shouted, and ran to the far corner of the pool, cringing.

"Not that I didn't try, but anyway...You see, Blondie, it's like this. I'm in the mood for love!"

With this, Eden's legs were wrenched out from underneath her, and she was hoisted into the air, in a posture that clearly left some of the most tender parts of her anatomy...highly exposed.

"Why else would I grab you chicks in the shower? It means you're already undressed for the occasion!" Another tendril appeared from the pool of slime, growing and shaping itself into the entity that had attacked her in the shower. "Oh yeah...look at you, taller and with bigger knockers than the last chick...

"Pardon me while I make myself a little more...anatomically correct." The entity's shape continued to define itself. When it finished, it was still translucent, and blue, but otherwise now in the shape of a muscular man. Eden spared just enough of a glance to realize the entity was now "anatomically correct" in all senses of the word.

She'd taken enough biology courses to realize where this whole situation was now leading "I don't believe this! This is one of Uncle Peter's stupid hentai videos come to life! This is not happening to me! This is not happening to me!"

The entity chuckled menacingly. Eden closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. There was no way she could stop this. The window for Johnathan or her Father pulling a surprise last minute rescue was fading fast. I may flinch...but I refuse to scream. It's not getting that satisfaction out of me...

She waited for the inevitable.

And still waited

What the hell is...

She heard it sob.

"Aw, c'mon...not again..."

She slowly opened one eye. The entity was still standing about two feet away from her, looking down at itself. With reluctance, she followed its gaze, and noticed...

"Forgive the metaphor, but it appears the little soldier does not wish to salute me."

The ghost made a loud, mournful wail, and Eden was dropped butt-first back into the pool of slime.

The ghost's form returned to its less "anatomically correct" state, and it crouched down and kept sobbing.

"This isn't fair...she's a tall, hot blonde with the biggest boobs I've ever seen..." It sobbed "If I can't get it up for her, I'll never get it up! This just isn't..." Its voice trailed off as it started crying.

Eden took a second to process what was happening; Dr. Griffin had taken her, TJ, and Marie aside alone shortly after they became official Ghostbusters, and broached the rather sensitive subject of paranormal sexuality.

Ghosts don't procreate through copulation. Eden's mind raced. There have been a number of cases of groups of Class Fives manifesting a 'family dynamic', but it is more a mimicking of the behavior of the living, just as Slimer doesn't really require food.

Nor can ectoplasmic entities procreate through copulation with living beings; reports of "half demons" such as Cambions or Daemonseeds all involve the demon possessing a member of the living (or a human male so recently deceased that living sperm are still present in his reproductive system) and the mystic enchantment of the resulting child, who is genetically that of the humans involved.

"That's the good news" Dr. Griffin had said.

The "bad news" (as Griffin had put it) is that many entities simply feed on strong emotion, and sexuality is a source of some rather intense emotion-whether through a willing seduction, or a non-consensual violation.

But the Class Three or Four entities, the ghosts of deceased human beings, present a new possibility: if the "unfinished business" of their life, the trauma that made them unable to "Cross to the Other Side", is sexual in nature, they may manifest their own form of sexuality based on that trauma.

It was all fitting into place. Two abductions of childbearing age human females in a state of defenselessness and undress. Attempted rape of both ("Nothing! I swear! Not that I didn't try, but anyway...") and now his rather morose state.

"I think I'm beginning to understand..." Eden said, sitting up. "Many entities remain on the material plane due to traumatic experiences before or during their deaths."

The ghost sobbed once more, but turned to look at her. "Am I to surmise that you had a problem with...sexual dysfunction?" Eden asked.

The entity sobbed again.

She knew she was on the right track now. "I want to help you. My name's Eden."

"Larry..." he answered mournfully.

"I want to help you, Larry. That's actually my job-it's why I ended up in this predicament, as we were trying to solve the mystery of Miss Johnson's kidnapping. But to help you, I need to know exactly what happened."

Kay, who was crouched in the corner hoping to avoid Larry's further attentions, gasped. "What in the hell are you trying..."

Eden held up a hand to shush her.

Larry sobbed some more, and then started to talk. "I went to this school...I was on the swim team...I spent hours in this pool..."

Eden nodded.

"And I met Darlene here. She was on the girls' swim team. She was so hot. I couldn't believe that she actually liked me back. So then, we made plans for our Senior Prom. I'd know...with a girl before, and we were planning to..."

"I understand what you mean, Larry." Eden said. "Go on."

"So we decided to be about it. We snuck off after the prom and came here to the pool. It was where we met, after all, and we wanted to be the place where we know, did it."

Larry started sobbing again. "But when we got here, I got nervous. Darlene was the love of my life, and my...well, my little soldier wouldn't salute her! She wasn't mad, said she understood, but I was so embarrassed. And then...then..."

"Then what, Larry?"

"I slipped by the pool!" Larry bawled. "I hit my head against the tile, hard, and then...then it all disappeared...and I was looking down on myself...there were people all around, and Darlene was crying, and...and..."

"It wasn't supposed to be this way! We were supposed to have sex and maybe get married and all that stuff! All because my stupid dick wouldn't get hard! She was so beautiful! So thin, and with the cutest dimple on her..."

Larry stopped abruptly, making a gargled cry.

"Larry?" Eden asked.

"I...I felt my pants...if I still had pants...

"Keep talking about Darlene, Larry!" Eden shouted. "Keep talking about how she looked and how you felt about her!"

Larry stood up, body defining itself again. A tendril of slime emerged from the pool, shaping itself at his will into the form of a woman. Larry looked at the replica adoringly. "Darlene was the hottest woman in the whole universe."

He cried out again, and realized that his "soldier" was now "saluting" the naked replica he'd created in Darlene's image. "Oh, Darlene..."

Eden was beset, for just a moment, with a bit of concern. Now that he's "saluting", will he seek to continue with his original plan?

Except that Larry didn't even seem to remember that Eden and Kay were in the room. It stared at the replica of his lost love, and embraced her. Within moments, Larry and the replica were having mad, passionate sex.

Kay cried "Oh, Gross!" and covered her face. Eden well understood the urge but the interest of science demanded she keep looking until the matter was concluded.

After a few moments, Larry and "Darlene" gave loud, garbled cries, and Eden had to close her eyes to avoid a spray of blue ectoplasm.

The effigy of Darlene melted back into the pool, and Larry started to fade.

"Thank you, Eden..." he said, turning to look at her one last time. "You helped me figure out what I was doing wrong...I didn't need just any woman, no matter how hot you are...I needed her. And now that I've made love to her her, even if it wasn't the real her, I can be at rest...and maybe, some day, when her time is up, I'll see her again on the Other Side..."

His voice trailed off, and the last of his form disappeared.

Just about then, there was the crash of a locked door being forcibly opened, and a flashlight point on the far wall. "Eden!"

"Marie?" Eden shouted, incredulously. Just after the nick of time... "Down here! I'm with the abductee!"

Marie Lupin, in full proton pack, appeared at the edge of the pool. "Oh, wow, is Eric gonna be mad I made him stay outside!" she grinned wolfishly.

" wouldn't have brought any extra clothing, would you?"

"Dr. Eden M. Spengler, wearing nothing but blue slime. If I webcammed this, I could make a fortune..."


"Just kidding." Marie grinned. She pulled out her GBX. "I'll be out in a second for those two flight suits, Eric. Call Johnny and tell him he can stop hyperventilating now. They're both sign of the entity."

"There won't be." Eden shook her head. "It's resolved-I'll give you the full story later..."

Eric was all but literally biting his nails as Marie strode out of the gymnasium. She playfully punched him in the arm. "Bet you wish I'd let you in there, huh?"

Eric shook his head and sighed, handing her the two bath robes they'd appropriated from the Hotel. John and TJ were on the way back with the flight suits Marie had mentioned, but even with the sirens blazing all the way the ECTO-1 was going to require more time to arrive from New York.

Eric sighed again as Marie left. Now I know how JC felt about TJ in the shower earlier... There was a temptation gnawing at him...just a little Intellego Imagonem...he could see Eden, see the image that Marie so clearly enjoyed taunting him with. He even let a few sparks of mystic power play around his fingers.

Dammit all... he berated himself, knowing that Eden's tantalizingly close-by nakedness wasn't the only thing twisting him in knots. There was Marie herself, and what had just happened between them.

In some ways, Eden and Marie were such polar opposites. One was tall, blonde, plush, and sexually inhibited (Mini-skirts aside...) The other was short, dark-haired, tomboyish, yet...darn near insatiable, it seemed.

One just proved she wanted him. The other barely even seemed to know what all of the fuss was about.

But maybe that was part of the draw. Marie he didn't have to show how wonderful sex was. Eden needed someone to teach her that; why not him, one of her oldest friends?

He shook his head, and snapped the mystic sparkle into nothingness. When the day came he got to see what Marie was seeing right now, it wouldn't be because he attacked her in the shower, or used magic to steal the image. It was going to be because Eden Spengler was showing herself to him of her own free will.

Ghostbusters Central
The Next Day

"...His lingering...fetter resolved, Larry simply faded away." Eden finished, relating the story to TJ and Marie.

"Fortunately, John had enough presence of mind to upload your PK trace to Eric's GBX." TJ explained. "It's what allowed Eric and Marie to reach you at the school."

"Granted, it would have been helpful if they'd arrived about ten minutes sooner." Eden grumbled.

"I feel jealous." Marie chuckled. "I was sure I'd be the first one propositioned by a ghost."

TJ rolled her eyes.

About then, Slimer appeared, and sniffed around the bottle of Gurgle-Urp sitting on the coffee table. "No, Slimer-you drank enough of that yesterday!" Eden admonished. Slimer looked mournful.

"Miss Johnson's medical report verified she was unharmed by the experience." TJ said. "At least physically-she was held for two days, and the entity attempted to force itself on her at least once. She's agreed to see a psychologist, as the police recommended."

Eden downed her glass of cola, and realized that TJ and Marie were now looking at her meaningfully. "I wasn't actually raped, you know."

"No, but it did try." TJ pointed out.

Eden sighed. "Unlike Miss Johnson, I've been trained in dealing with paranormal entities, and we all received the same preparedness course."

"Yeah, but sometimes, until something like this actually happens, you can't be sure how it can affect you." Marie said. "Especially someone as brutally repressed as you."

" 'Brutally repressed'?" Eden cried; the shock was so great that she then released a massive, reverberating, and extremely unladylike belch that had Slimer looking at her in wonder, then bowing at her feet in mock worship.

"Um...Remember, 'brutally repressed' is Lupin-speak for 'Doesn't open her legs for every man that looks at her.' " TJ countered, ignoring Marie as she started to sing the "Little Bar of Soap" song in a mocking London accent. "I still think it would be a good idea to at least talk with a trained psychologist."

Eden looked annoyed, but nodded. "I actually made the appointment this morning. I honestly don't think there's anything to be concerned about..." she became more quiet. "But then again, my father thought the same thing after he survived a fall off the World Trade Center, and as a result freed the Boogieman."

The three female Ghostbusters shared a quick group hug, and TJ and Marie left. "And you will have to tell me how the Mall Cop remake turns out, Anderson..." Eden heard Marie teasing.

"Piss off." TJ spat back.

Eden took another long drink

Eden wouldn't tell any of them one thing about the experience, though. She'd probably take that aspect of it to her grave.

It wasn't something she would dare share with her parents. Or her brother. Certainly not Uncle Peter. Uncle Ray, she suspected from years of rumors and jokes her parents and their friends tried to keep away from them, would understand, but she couldn't confide it in him either, for fear of it reaching her parents.

The dark secret was that the entity's plight, once she knew it, had touched something within her. That even through all the horror, there was a curiosity stirred.

If Larry hadn't come to her as a kidnapper and would-be rapist...if he had instead materialized in her shower and simply asked for her help in his quest for sexual fulfillment...

(...Especially in his very "anatomically correct" version...the mental image of Larry and "Darlene" making love still brought a wistful blush to her cheek...)

She wouldn't have automatically said no.

Ectozone Editorial Staff: Dr. Vincent Belmont, EGB Fan, TheRazorsEdge
Additional Beta: Ghostdiva, Kingpin, OgreBBQ, Brian Reilly

Eric Stantz and Marie Lupin created by OgreBBQ. Johnathan and Eden Spengler, TJ Anderson, and Jeremy Cranston created by Fritz Baugh.

The title "Ghosts Can't Do It" comes from one of Bo Derek's trashy softcore porn movies. It seemed oddly appropriate...

Gurgle-Urp is a tribute to the great Carl Barks, and his story "The Bubbleweight Champ" (W WDC 282-01)

Lloyd Bassett inspired by a character created by Floyd Gottfredson.

Ars Magica and the Order of Hermes created by Johnathan Tweet and Mark ReinユHagen; previously owned by Lion Rampant and White Wolf Games, now owned by Atlas Games.

GRM 94-01