DRUM ROLL PLEASE!
Straight from the dark and dastardly mind of yours truly (BRP) comes the final, secret, hidden, twice removed (well not really), chapter of Kirby Quest.
I DO NOT OWN KIRBY! NINTENDO DOES! I DON'T OWN NINTENDO!(I wish…)
Kirby: Umm… I don't think it's a secret anymore if you have just posted it for everyone to see.
BRP: But they didn't know about it, thus, secret.
Kirby: But you can't call it secret now because everyone will know.
BRP: I'm writing here, thus it is totally secret.
Kirby: *Rolls Eyes*
BRP: Ok then so where were we. Ah yes… I have absolutely no idea.
And so the world was saved, they threw a party, etc. etc., Meta Knight came and turned into the Soul of MetaKnight (because yes even he has a soul) but Kirby took off the mask and all, ya da ya da.
SO THE NEXT DAY went something like this:
"LA-LA-LALALA" Kirby sang as he walked home from another wonderful, normal day of berry picking.
But then he stopped. Because something was wrong.
He had nothing to do.
Now we may all think that these video game characters have something else the like to do besides fighting bad guys and finding treasure and upgrading and eating and coin collecting and stomping and sucking and fighting off political controversy as to what gender they are. But really they don't.
So that fact that it was a normal day… wasn't normal.
And that's when Kirby got a really smart and equally stupid idea.
Later that evening (because everything cool happens between 8:00p.m. and 3:00a.m. (or even 5:00 if youre really cool)) Kirby called together Waddle Dee, SK, and Poppy, who was up to 3 words per sentence.
"Ok so here's my smart and equally as stupid idea. We bust Meta Knight out of Galaxy Prison."
"What the hell! Why? He's evil, he's cunning, he's you're enemy Kirby. He can probably do it himself without our help. Why?" cried SK. Waddle Dee looked equally as stunned. Poppy was mesmerized by the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling.
"You're exactly right SK. He is my enemy, and that's why we're busting him out. What have you done today without any bad guys to fight."
"Well I… sat in my office and did some paperwork… watched professional wrestling-"
"You know that's all fake." Waddle Dee cut in.
SK just shot him a look through his visor and continued "And picked berries…" SK realized what his point was, and Waddle Dee came to soon as well. Poppy was scratching/sniffing the stickers on the wall.
"So here's the plan…"
BRP: Well for once I don't have anything not cliché to put for avoiding the plan so just bear with me. Like a bear… wow that wasn't even laughable… was that even a joke… I've lost myself. I'm very sorry for all of you readers.
To give you an idea of this completely fake prison I'm totally making up as I go along, it's a square castle, four towers, and a main spire towering over everything else. I think with your extensive Hollywood movie knowledge, you'd know exactly where MetaKnight is. Here's a Hint: Spire. BTW this is all in the sky. Clouds and stuff. (I'll try to keep the trippiness down to a minimum but im still warning you.)
The gang was all dressed in purple and wore MetaMasks. "You know, we could probably get rich on this MetaFranchise." Waddle Dee pointed out while SK was welding them. "Yeah but Meta knight would totally sue our a**es." Replied Kirby.
"Well if we're breaking him out then I think he owes us."
"He'd still want atleast 20%."
"Only 20. That's easy."
So while SK was doing that, Kirby and Waddle did there thing.
"Ok, so what's first?" Asked Waddle Dee.
"I'm totally making this up as I go along." Replied Kirby.
"What the heck! What was the point of that plot break where you were supposed to tell us the plan."
"Hey, blame the author of my dialogue. If he hadn't gone with the cliché exit we'd totally have one right now."
"CURSE YOU!" roared the Waddle Dee, waving his knub into the sky.
"Whatever. So now what." Asked SK.
So while everyone else was preoccupied, Poppy walked right on up to the door guarded by MetaGaurds (Im totally not done with this yet)
"HEWWO!" Poppy said through his MetaMask replica. (same one the guard were wearing)
The knights nodded slightly, tapped the ground with their staffs, and the doors opened.
"TANK YOU!" Poppy said and walked.
The other stared in an awed silence, and then quickly hurried through the gaping doors before they closed on them.
Their jaws were still on the ground when they walked in. The Prison wasn't really a prison. It was a pearly white mansion. A MetaMansion! (OOH! Alliteration! I sound all professional knowing these literary terms. *Pstpstpst* What's that? *pstpstpst* I already did that *pstpstpst* We learned that in what grade *pstpst* Oh)
So the troupe entered epearly white mansion. The second set of doors swung open to see MetaKnight (mask off) cuddling in a love seat with another Puff, watching TV. Professional wrestling to be exact.
"You know that's fake, right?" said Waddle Dee as they came in.
"Wai-What the hell are you guys doing here!" Said MetaKnight, quickly detaching himself from the red woman Puff.
"We're here to break you out" said SK.
"Wai-What? I'm sorry sweets, I'm going to need you to wait in my room. She looked ready to pout but she obediently went the room."
"Ok so say that again."
"We're here to break you out of prison." SK said looking at the chandelier.
MetaKnight chuckled. "You boys are so dumb. Can't you think for yourself. I could of left here whenever I wanted. I mean it's got Meta in the name doesn't it? This is my place."
SK just looked stupidly at the ground.
"Well then we're here for a sales pitch." Said Waddle Dee glancing at Kirby.
If looks could kill.
"No, we're serious. You see these masks. You'd even get 25-precent." He said quickly.
"I thought we agree on 20." Kirby hissed.
"Just work with me."
So 25 business slides later, 3 demonstrations, Poppy getting stuck in the elevator, and 2 embarrassing pictures from the Christmas Party somehow included, MetaKnight was sitting across from Waddle Dee sliding a contract over his coffee table.
"Just sign down there. That's all you need to do."
"Don't I need a lawyer or something for this?"
"Not for this"
He studied the paper for a couple of minutes, looked at the door to his room, sighed and signed.
Waddle Dee quickly rolled up document and said Thank you.
So now DreamLand is graced with the product of MetaIncorperated, some examples included the MetaMask, MetaMansion, MetaPhone, MetaPod, MetaCar, MetaBoard, MetaMeats, MetaMart, MetaLife.
And thus that was the beginning another corporation tyranny. And they all had something to do.
Until next time, chow!