I wake up early in the morning for some reason with the strange urge to go to the woods, as if I knew something was going to happen, so I do. I got dressed, kissed Peeta on the cheek trying no to wake him up then I wrote down a note for him "I'm hunting, I'll be back soon, I love you. " and I left the house.
On my way to the woods I saw Effie walking towards Haymitch's place with a brown paper bag full of food, I guess we were right, they are together, whether in a romantic way or just as friends but they are. She looks nervously at me knowing I would ask her about her and Haymitch, and I was going to, but I decided to leave her alone, it's fine if they're or not together, is not of my business anyway, so I just smiled at her and she smiled back as we, each, went our own way.
Once in the woods I sat there in the place where Gale and I used to meet, all the memories started to pop up in my head and I couldn't help but smile. He was my best friend and I miss him but Prim's gone because of him even if he never meant to hurt her… or me. But he did and I did too, that's why he left, I chose Peeta over him and he killed my sister because his thirst to take the capitol down took over him, he was blind. We went from being best friends to being complete strangers.
If I could go back in time and change everything, Prim's name not being called at the reaping, me not volunteering... me and Peeta... No, that's the only reason I wouldn't change things, because of Peeta. You know how they say that after something bad happens to you something good comes out of it, well it's true.
I feel tears rolling down my cheek and I let them do it, I miss Gale and Prim, I love Peeta, why can't I have them all? I am happy I won't say I am not, Peeta makes my life worth living, but everything would be so much better if they were all with me.
as I wipe my tears with my right hand I feel a hand on my shoulder I stand up quickly and startled then I turn back to face the hand's owner, and there he is.
"Hey Catnip" Gale's strong voice echoed inside my head and my heart started to beat faster when our eyes met "He told me you were here and I decided to come but if you want I can g-"
"Don't" I say, maybe I didn't mean to but I said it and deep down I knew I wanted him to stay, to be my best friend again. I take a step towards him, we're close enough to touch and suddenly my arms embrace him tightly and tears start to fall out again, this time uncontrollably, with my head sunk in his chest, Gale is back.
"Wow, I wasn't expecting this, Catnip" He speaks jokingly as he hugs me back, wrapping me with his long, strong arms, I feel safer, I have Peeta and now I have Gale too, at least for this moment...
Scenes of Prim's death mixed with Gale's face appear in my head, making it hard to breathe, I let go of Gale, I'm paralyzed by the idea of being hold by my sister's killer who is, at the same time, my best friend. I walk away with a horrified look on my face and I see Gale's expression, full of pain and regret.
"I'm sorry Katniss!" he punches a nearby tree as he screams the phrase with a painful pitch "I never meant to hurt Prim, or hurt you, you know that was not what I wanted and I- I-" he's unable to finish the sentence because tears start to stream down his face accompanied by loud sobs "Please..." and he breaks, he's kneeled on the ground with his hands on his face, crying.
I don't know what to feel, I just stand there, watching him cry his heart out, pleading for forgiveness, pleading for his best friend to come back.
I stand there for about a minute, until I decide to move, I walk to where Gale's kneeled and I put my nad on his back, he looks at me with his red, puffy eyes and I take my free hand to his face.
"Stop, Gale" I kneel next to him and I hold him with one hand while the other moves from his face to his hand "Don't do this to me, you're my best friend but at the same time you..."
"I killed your sister" it sounded so cold and hollow "I know, that haunts me every damn day, Katniss!" he speaks with anger towards his actions "I lost you, not only as a lover but as my best friend too... I lost you in every way I could've lost you, do you understand that?"
"Yes, I lost my best friend too but is not that easy, it is.. it was my sister!" I say desperately
"Please.." he begs
"Gale... I miss you, I miss my best friend but..." I couldn't finish
"I know what I did, Katniss, I know, I know, I know... but I'm here pleading for forgiveness because I need you, I miss you and because I can't let go of us, please… at least try to forgive me for killing Prim" that last sentence echoed in my head like a broken record, forgiving him for killing Prim, tiny little Prim, my sister.
Whenever I try to let go of her death Gale comes into my mind and it fills me with anger and pain, my best friend killed my sister, how sick is that? I miss him so much, but what he did... I am starting to feel dizzy, so many thoughts running around in my head, this is too much for me to handle.
Is not that I don't want to forgive him, I feel guilty, giving Gale my forgiveness I let go of Prim, it makes me feel like I never cared for her, that I never loved her that much, that I'm capable of letting go of her just to get back my best friend, just because I miss him, just because he makes me happy. Selfish, that's what I am if I forgive Gale.
"I have to go, Gale, I can't do this, not right now" I slowly get up and walk away
"Katniss, please, I don't want to lose you, not again" he said painfully and honestly I don't want to lose him, not again.
*I didn't double check this one, and the one before this one.. yeah sorry about that, sorry again for any mistake! I get inspired then I run dry so that's why I upload so irregularly, so sorry for everything, including my poor vocabulary and my short chapters, leave your reviews please!
have a nice day and may the odd be ever in your favor!