Author's Note: This one-shot is a parody of the Popeye cartoon, Poopdeck Pappy, the one where Popeye keeps trying to get his dad to go to sleep.


Go to Sleep, Gramps!

It was a peaceful night in the village. Everybody was in bed for the night…well, everyone except for one family: The Bruno family.


Remigio and Stefania Bruno were getting ready for a night out at a nice restaurant. Remigio's parents, Edoardo and Angelina Bruno, volunteered to keep an eye on the children.

"Have a good time," Angelina called to the couple as they exited the house.


Later, it was bedtime. Romeo (a.k.a. Lampwick) and three of his younger siblings, Rafaella, Domenico, and Loreta, were helping to set up their grandparents' bed.

"Okay, Gramps, Granny," Lampwick said. "Bedtime."


Edoardo was sneaking to the door while his wife got in bed. "Okay, Romeo, I'll be right there." He opened the door, only to find Domenico and Loreta on the other end!

"Going somewhere, Nonno?" Loreta asked.

"Si," said Edoardo. "Nonno is going out. Now, excuse me." He tried pushing past Domenico and Loreta, but failed, as the two children pushed him back into the house.

"Listen, Nonno," Rafaella said. "You're seventy-nine years old. You can't go out every night like you used to."

Edoardo started crying, when Lampwick came out.

"What's he crying for?" Lampwick asked.

"Dunno," said Loreta.

"I'm sorry, nipotini," Edoardo said. Then he held his hand out. "Shake?"

Lampwick shrugged, then took his grandfather's hand. Unfortunately, Edoardo threw him and ran out the door!

"Oh, that is it!" said Lampwick. He took Loreta's jump rope and managed to lasso his grandfather back into the house.

"Hey, let go, Romeo!" Edoardo protested.

"C'mon, help me carry Gramps to bed!" Lampwick ordered Rafaella, Domenico, and Loreta. All three of them proceeded to drag a shouting Edoardo to bed.


"Now, go to sleep, Gramps," said Lampwick.

"One of us should stay in here with Nonno and Nonna," Rafaella suggested.

"You're right," said Domenico. "Who's it gonna be?"

"I will," Lampwick said.

Angelina smiled at her eldest grandchild. "Oh, that's not necessary, Romeo."

"Granny, I'm staying in here so Gramps doesn't try anything," Lampwick said, his mind made up. He went to the room he shared with Domenico and got a blanket and pillow, then lay them on the floor next to his grandparents' bed. Domenico and the girls went to bed.

Lampwick turned the light off. "Good night, Granny."

"Good night, Romeo," said Angelina.

"Good night, Gramps," said Lampwick. No response. "I said, 'Good night, Gramps'."

"Eddie?" Angelina said. She turned on the light.

"What the—?" Lampwick exclaimed. His grandfather wasn't in bed! Where was the guy?

"Nonna, Lampy!" Loreta said, running into her grandparents' room. "Nonno went out the door and into town!"

"Oh no," Angelina said and face palmed.


Lampwick ran out the door after Edoardo. He found the old man sauntering down the street and snuck up on him.

"AGH!" Edoardo exclaimed and jumped back in fright when his grandson came out of nowhere. "Romeo!"

"Back to bed, Gramps," Lampwick scolded.

"Aw, man," Edoardo whined. He pouted the whole way home.


Once they were back home, Lampwick put shackles on his grandfather's legs to keep him from running out in the middle of the night. "Alright, Gramps, you're staying in bed whether you like it or not."

"I hate relatives!" Edoardo complained when Lampwick hoisted him into bed next to Angelina.

Lampwick turned the light off. "Good night, Granny."

"Good night, Romeo."

"Good night, Gramps. I said, 'Good night, Gramps'," Lampwick said. Then Angelina turned on the light.

"He's gone again!" said Lampwick. He tried getting up. "When I get my hands on that old man—Whoa!" He fell down just as he was about to run out the door.


Once he was free of the shackles around his ankles, Lampwick ran into town again. There, he found Edoardo at a bar, dancing with a young woman. He walked up to his grandfather and the girl. "Excuse me, miss." Lampwick pulled his grandfather away. "Gramps, you're going home, and that's final."

"No, you can't make me!" Edoardo said childishly. He kicked and screamed the whole way home.


Back home, Lampwick now had to make a net around Edoardo. "Bet ya can't get out of this one, Gramps, ha!" After he was done, he lay down and turned the light off. "Good night, Granny."

"Good night, Romeo."

"Good night, Gramps," said Lampwick. "I said, 'Good night, Gramps'!"

"Eddie, answer your grandson," said Angelina. She turned the light back on and was surprised to see Lampwick inside the very net he made for his grandfather.

"Hey!" Lampwick exclaimed in surprise when he saw what predicament he was in. "Agh! It's times like this I hate being your grandson, Gramps!"


Author's Note: Nonno- Grandpa

Si- Yes

Nipotini- Grandchildren

Nonna- Grandma