No this isn't an update. You guys don't deserve one
I am done. DONE with this shit. Lots of people read my stories but only a very small fraction of those people take a minute to review so I'm DONE! I am not posting anymore chapters or stories because YOU PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SPARE A SECOND TO SAY SOMETHING NICE OR SOMETHING TO HELP ME BECOME A BETTER WRITER. If you like my stories then tell me that if you don't then tell me and I will try to make something more akeen to your likes. I'm taking a long break from fanfiction, I just don't want to deal with anymore, getting upset because few people take even a second to review. I don't care if it's as simple as update or good chapter. So bye for a while I guess
Edit: This is my apology thing and me trying to explain...and probably failing. So bare with me and read all the way through before you comment again or judge. No pity or mean comments, thanks
First off, I would like to- actually make that NEED to apologize for me being a total bitch and acting liked a spoiled brat and whining and such. I'm sorry for my mean words, they were rude, and kind of sudden. I probably hurt quite a few of you and angered some more. I can't say how sorry I am for what I said, words can't express it. (Man this sounds insincere and cheesy. Again, hear me out with my stupidity and probably ranting included) I could have said it much nicer than I did. So I'm sorry.
Now to try and explain what happened that made this happen. The whole review thing isn't my big problem (It does play a part but I will explain that later...) I am normally easy-going, and shrug off my problems. But things like school, friend drama, emotional things, stress in general, hell books ending, etc all give me some sort of build up even if I shrug it off. The emotions just steam and boil and stuff, more and more emotions pouring it as I continue to have small little problems. Sometimes some of the emotions drain out, over time or after some stress reliever and stuff. Anyway, I just got furious about my 'lack of reviews'. (I know I have lots but bare with me, please)
In my fury, I did the what a lot of people do, I wrote something nasty to calm myself. But then I did some unthinkable and posted it on the internet, on my page and then a bunch of my stories. I said things I should have but I was pissed off and upset and I wanted some relief. I know what a lot of you are thinking. "Wow, what a bitch!" I will admit it, I acted like a bitch and I deserve your anger. But I'm human and we get mad and we do nasty things. But for like the 4th or 5th time, bare with me and let me explain some more. Explaining my issue with this will involve me talking about my childhood a bit, I will try to be brief so I don't either bore or upset you or whatever. I don't know how you will feel about it ^^;
I had kind of a bumpy childhood. I have always been different which got me picked on and such. My once nice voices suddenly got spilt personalities and a lot of the times they seemed to be just the other kids too, bullying me and taunting me. It hurt me greatly but I was luckily saved. I found friends and they treated me nice. I loved them and it made me develop this want and kind of need to pleasure people I like. (You are probably wondering what this has to do with anything. Hold on, I'm getting there.) Also from my new friendship, the whole saying "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you" very true for me. Words didn't hurt me anymore, I didn't really care about others thought of me because I had friends to support me.
Some years passed, I got into anime and my passion for writing I had as a child came back to me. I started creating ideas and plots to use for my fanfictions. I worked hard on every story, every chapter, every paragraph. My grammar and spelling got better (That's why made me give up as a child). I slowly built up my fanbase, some were shadow readers and of the known I made many friends. My want to pleasure people I liked, meaning my fans demanded me to make sure I had something for everyone to enjoy. I wanted to please you guys, excite you, give you an enjoy plot, one to make you think and imagine with me, something to make your emotions soar and fly but also drop you only to catch you again later, to confuse you, tickle your funny bone, to make you smile even if your life is hard, connect with all of you through my words that made pictures and scenes in your heads. I want the reviews to know if I'm doing that.
When there are no reviews (in sight or on a certain chapter or story) those spilt personality voices return and they mock me, telling me that I'm not a good writer because I can't make you feel. They tear down my high expectations I have for each of my stories and chapters.
Here is my note on reviews that I didn't know where to put. I do love and expect some reviews. They mean more to me than faves, follows, or views. They tell me what is really liked and disliked since they need at least some thought to type them. Faves and follows are simply clicking a button and done. Views mean actually very little, for all I know every single one of them could have been someone clicking, seeing no of interest and clicking away. It makes sense in my head. Other note on reviews, I see other people, writers and they seem to have lots of reviews, fans and I go green (with envy.) I look at my stories that I see the mass of my reviews on really old stories that I don't really have the time or patience to rewrite or on stories that I simply have no more interest on. (I sometimes write in the spur of a moment, create a story and never touch it again after I'm done with that first type.)
Random note to explain myself a bit more. I'm sorry for those of you who are frustrated with me for not finishing stories. I either have ADHD or something similar and have a horrible time to focus for long periods of time plus I have an overactive imagination which makes it a bit hard to continue on one thing because I have new ideas and I want to elaborate on my new ideas.
Okay final notes, man this thing is long ^^; And I still got some HW to do...Sorry random. Okay, I hope I didn't repeat too much...I wrote most of this out last night on paper while I was supposed to be asleep and then read though my thoughts, typing them up and adding a bit and taking some out as well. I haven't and probably will not proof read this, Homework ^^; And I don't want to bother Via with reading this. UGGG I need to shut up. Ummmm oh yeah, thank you all for your kind (and some less kind) words, notes, and reviews. It's nice to know you all care and they are a lot more of you than I thought ^^; Please no pity A I will kill you if you give me that. Please don't yell at me either, I know I'm a bitch okay. And don't tell me it's fine because it wasn't. Once more sorry for what I did
~Sigery97 (a writer who doesn't deserve the love she is given DX)
PS. Still on break till I get back into my 'in school' thing and I am ready to take my swings at working on my stories some more.
And for making you read this long thing and for the shit I gave you all, I am going to try and do something for you all
Kuro: Yup, her break isn't going to be much of a break because she- *kicked rather hard by me* OWWW
Me: I didn't tell you my plans so you could just tell them Dx It's going to be a surprise
Kuro: Fine. Ugggggg...you kick hard for a girl who sits around on her computer all day
Me: Thanks for reading this ^^ Love you all