I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Some stuff goes down in it, I guess. So it may be enjoyable.

Chapter Eighteen

Kendall had settled things with his mother. Sort of. She said that she would always feel that Mattie would need a mother. Kendall told her that Mattie would be fine without a mom. He made it six years just fine, didn't he? Then his mom expressed worry that Logan was forcing a wedge between them. She felt like Logan was taking her son and grandson away from her. Kendall said that was ridiculous. Logan didn't want Kendall to break off ties with his mom. They argued that point for some time. Then Kendall promised that soon Mattie could spend the night at her house. That calmed her down a bit.

The day they agreed on happened to be Kendall's six month anniversary with Logan—not that his mom knew that. Carlos would be spending the night at Lucy's, so Kendall and Logan would be all alone. Though Fudge would be there too. But they could work around him.

Kendall dropped Mattie off then hurried back to his house. His mom wanted him to stay a bit, but he was still a little pissed at her. And he had to prepare for his date with Logan. He was going to cook dinner, light candles, and play some romantic music.

This anniversary was a big deal to Kendall. No one lasted six months with him—except Sarah, but he refused to dwell on that. Every time he dated someone, they decided that they couldn't handle being with a guy who had a kid. But Logan handled it all so well. Hell, he was practically a second parent to Mattie. Kendall was slightly surprised that he was OK with that. He thought he would have trouble letting someone else into Mattie's life. Another person to take Mattie's love, someone else to put Mattie in time-out when he was bad, and possible conflicting ways of parenting. But Logan made sure to check with Kendall that certain things were OK. And anything Logan did seemed to work out—mostly.

Logan was pretty much a perfect fit. Sometimes it was hard to believe and accept. Kendall never imagined he would find someone so right. He really hoped it would last.

When he got home he let Fudge outside, filled Fudge's food bowl, started dinner, and quickly changed. Once he was changed, he tried to transform his kitchen into a romantic atmosphere. He put some candles in the middle of that table and on the counter—they would be lit later. Then he set up his iPod and speakers on top of the fridge.

As he let Fudge inside, he texted James. He wanted to make sure he was preparing dinner correctly. So far, so good.

Once Fudge was inside, he ran over to his food and inhaled it. Fatty. And Kendall knew that dog would beg for food during dinner.

He got a text from Logan saying he was on his way. Crunch time. He set the table and got out the champagne (unfortunately the cheap kind) and some glasses.

Kendall turned off the oven just as Logan arrived. "Don't come in the kitchen!"

Logan laughed from the other room. "OK."

Kendall lit the candles, put the food on the plates, and poured the champagne. He turned on the music. He took a deep breath before heading into the living room. His heart skipped a beat when he saw what Logan was holding. "Sunflowers? For me?"

Logan smiled. "Of course they're for you. Happy Anniversary, dear."

Kendall walked up to Logan and kissed him. He took the flowers. "Thank you."

"You have a vase?"

"Miraculously enough, I do."

Logan held up a bottle. "I brought cheap wine."

Kendall chuckled. "We can have some of that after the cheap champagne I bought."

"Sweet. I love cheap champagne."

"Well, I love you."

"I love you too." A noise came from the kitchen. "What was that?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Fudge is probably head butting a chair to move it so he can hop on it, and get food off the table."

"Ooh. Food. I'm starving."

Kendall took Logan's free hand and led him to the kitchen.

"Kendall," Logan said softly when he entered the kitchen. "I've never seen your kitchen look so pretty. I didn't even know you owned a table cloth."

Kendall got out a vase and filled it with water. "We never use it because Mattie has a tendency to spill shit."

Logan removed Fudge from a chair. "What'd you make us?" He looked at the food.

Kendall put the flowers in the vase. "London broil and mashed potatoes."

Logan sat. "Shit. Really?"

Kendall took a seat across from him. "James and I did a practice run the other day."

"James helped you?"

"Yeah. I didn't want to fuck this up." He put the flowers on the table.

"The flowers add a nice touch," Logan commented as he cut into his food. He took a bite. "Shit. This is good."

"Really?" Kendall started to eat as well. "Fuck yeah. Go me."

While they ate, they talked about their days. Logan discussed work, and Kendall told Logan how great it felt to have the weekend off. Then they started talking about Christmas.

"We should get a tree soon," Logan said. "Then we can all decorate it."

"Aren't you getting a tree for your apartment?"

"Camille and Emmy are picking one out with James and decorating it tonight. Apparently Camille's parents have a fake tree. James thought that was a travesty, so he's forcing them to go with him. Not that they seemed to mind."

"So things are going well with James and Camille?" Kendall asked.

"I think so. James has been seeing her and Emmy a lot these past weeks. Hey. What do you want for Christmas?"

"Ugh. I don't know," Kendall said. "What about you?"

Logan shrugged. "Get me whatever you think suits me."

Kendall chuckled and sipped some champagne. "That's not very helpful. Anyway. We can get a tree next week. We should also do some Christmas shopping for Mattie."

"Sounds like a plan," Logan said. "So, how do you decide which gifts will be the ones from Santa?"

"I make the big deal gifts Santa ones. I always have one type of wrapping paper be from Santa, and the other type is gifts from me. I, um, usually print out little stickers that say 'from Santa' on them."

Logan smiled. "That's adorable. And that way he won't figure out that you and Santa have the same handwriting."


After they finished eating, they began to clean up. Kendall shut off the music, and Logan blew out the candles. Logan let Fudge outside while Kendall started to rinse off the dishes.

Kendall felt arms wrap around his middle and lips kiss at his neck. "This was nice," Logan said. His hands moved to Kendall's chest and began to unbutton his shirt.

Kendall let out a pleasure-filled sigh as Logan's hands and mouth did their jobs. "Did I succeed in making this evening romantic?"

Logan nipped at Kendall's ear. "You did."

Once his shirt was undone, Kendall turned around to face Logan. His hands went to the hand of Logan's shirt and peeled it off Logan's body. "Our first night together six months ago wasn't very romantic."

Logan pushed Kendall's shirt off. "Hey. The backseat of my car is a very romantic spot."

Kendal laughed and put his lips against Logan's. It started off slowly. It took some time for the kiss to gain heat. But when it did reach that point, shoes were kicked off and pants were removed.

They moved away from the sink, and Logan pulled Kendall down onto the floor. Kendall's mouth roamed Logan's neck and chest. He would occasionally bite down or suck. He left what he knew would be a lovely mark in the morning on Logan's chest. Then he removed Logan's underwear and wrapped his mouth around Logan's hardened member. Logan's hands went to Kendall's hair, pulling at it. He moaned out Kendall's name before saying, "I want you inside me."

That was all Kendall needed to hear. He sat up and took off his boxer briefs. He prepared Logan then quickly entered him.

"Yes!" Logan cried out as he wrapped his legs around Kendall. He moved in time with Kendall, matching each thrust perfectly.

Kendall placed his forehead against Logan's. "Perfect. I love you so much."

Logan's eyes softened and a hand went to the back of Kendall's head. "I love you too. You're so wonderful. There's no one like you."

Kendall kissed Logan again as they both reached their release. Kendall rested his head on Logan's chest. "Did we just have sex on my kitchen floor?"

Logan laughed and kissed the top of Kendall's head. "We did." They both heard the sound of barking. "Shit. We left Fudge out too long."

They let the dog in, gathered their clothes, and took a nice shower.

It was when they were in the living room; wearing their pajamas and debating over a movie that Kendall got a call. "Mom? Is everything OK?"

"Mattie's sick," Mrs. Knight said. "He wants to go home."

Kendall got off the couch. "You want me to pick him up?"

"He wants to leave now. Is it alright if I drive him over?"

"Yeah. OK. See you soon." Kendall hung up. "Mattie's coming home."

"What's wrong?" Logan asked.

"He's sick. He seemed fine when I dropped him off, though."

"Could be a twenty-four hour thing."

Kendall sighed. "I guess. God. He gets so demanding when he's sick."

It wasn't long before Mrs. Knight showed up. Kendall and Logan both answered the door.

"What happened?" Kendall asked. He saw his mom stare at Logan once she stepped inside. Then she glared at Kendall.

"I threw up," Mattie told them.

"Aw. Poor guy," Logan said.

Kendall knew he had to get Logan out of the room. "Logan, why don't you take Mattie upstairs and give him some of his cold medicine. It's in the bathroom cabinet."

"OK." Logan held out his arms for Mattie and Mattie reached for Logan. But Mrs. Knight didn't seem to want to hand Mattie over. "I'm not gonna drop him." Mrs. Knight finally gave Mattie to Logan. Logan felt Mattie's forehead. "Aw. Your head's warm. Let's go get that medicine." He turned and made his way upstairs and Mattie complained that his medicine was gross.

Kendall took Mattie's bag, shark Pillow Pet, and Professor Bear from his mom. "Don't give me that look."

"Was Logan going to be spending the night?"

"Yes. It's our six month anniversary."

"Is he going to be leaving now?"

"No," Kendall snapped. "He spends the night all the time, and Mattie hasn't been traumatized. Get over it, Mom."

Logan and Mattie came back down the stairs. "I want Professor Bear," Mattie said. "And my sick soup."

"Sick soup?" Logan looked at Kendall.

Kendall gave Mattie his bear. "Tomato soup. It's in the pantry. Also, crunch up five crackers and mix them with the soup."

"OK." Logan took Mattie into the kitchen, Fudge following.

Kendall turned to his mom. "See? Logan is great with Mattie. And Mattie loves Logan. So don't try to give me shit about this."

Mrs. Knight seemed to take several calming breaths. "Fine. I'm going." And she left, slamming the door behind her.

Kendall sighed and brought Mattie's things upstairs. He grabbed one of Mattie's movies and took it into the living room. As he put the DVD in, Mattie shuffled into the living room. He took a seat on the floor and Logan appeared with the soup, setting it on the coffee table. Mattie handed Logan Professor Bear and slowly ate his soup as Fudge sat next to him.

"We're watching Aladdin," Kendall said, and he saw Mattie smile.

Once Mattie finished his soup, he curled up between Kendall and Logan on the couch. Logan pet Mattie's hair until he fell asleep—something that worked on Kendall too.

After the movie, Kendall said, "Mattie will want to sleep with us. And Fudge will follow."

Logan smiled. "That's fine. You think he'll be better tomorrow?"

"Maybe later in the day. Some of his classmates have been sick."

"So tomorrow should be fun."

"Oh yeah."

When they settled into bed, Kendall found it wasn't such a bad way to end his anniversary with Logan.

Kendall was waiting for Logan at the back of Sherwoods. It was his lunch break, and he and Logan were going to eat in the break room as usual. Logan was a little late, and Kendall figured he must've gotten caught up at school. He was pretty sure Logan had a meeting with his advisor. The meeting probably ran longer than planned.

"I didn't want to believe you still worked here, but here you are."

Kendall turned around and got the biggest shock of his life. "Sarah?" The girl he had once been in love with, the mother of his child, stood in front of him. She didn't look like the Sarah he remembered, though. She was thinner—even more so than before she gave birth. She wore dark eye shadow, and her hair was shorter. Hell, the type if clothes she was wearing didn't seem very Sarah-like. Had six years really changed her that much? "W-what are you doing here?"

"Well, I go to school in California," Sarah said. "I plan on moving there currently after I graduate. I've never really come home for winter break, so my parents are forcing me to be home this Christmas."

"Oh." Kendall didn't really know what else to say. "But-"

"Holy shit." Kendall turned his head, and there was Logan.

"Logan. This is-"

"Mattie's mom," Logan finished. "I… I can see his face in hers." Logan's eyes were wide, and his face was a little pale.

"Who is this?" Sarah asked. "And… You call our kid Mattie?"

Kendall gave her a hard look. "This is Logan. My boyfriend. And you know what I named our child."

"Yeah, but I figured you'd call him Matt like normal people would. Wait. Boyfriend? You're still on that whole bisexual thing? I thought that was a phase."

"Who are you, my mom?" Kendall asked. "Why are you here, Sarah?"

"I told you why."

"No. Why are you here at Sherwoods?"

Sarah let out a sigh. "I wanted to see if you still worked here like I heard. It's kinda sad."

"Well, excuse me for having a job so that I can take care of my kid," Kendall snapped. "And since I've proven myself as a valuable employee, they let me off when it's needed. They understand my situation."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Where is… Mattie anyway?"

"At school, like most children," Logan answered.

"Why do you even care?" Kendall demanded of Sarah.

"Maybe I want to see Mattie," Sarah said.

"Fuck no," Logan said.

Sarah looked at Logan with a raised eyebrow. "What gives you the right to say that?"

"I'm more of a mom to him than you are!"

"Why do you even want to see him?" Kendall asked Sarah. "You never cared before."

Sarah crossed her arms. "I don't need to tell you my reasons."

Kendall stared her down. Why would Sarah want to see Mattie? If she actually gave a shit about Mattie, she would've made an effort to see him sooner. Kendall didn't trust Sarah. "You're not seeing him."

"Why the hell not?" Sarah cried out.

"Besides the fact that I feel like you don't genuinely want to see him? It'll confuse the hell out of him. He's lived his whole life knowing he doesn't have a mom. You coming along and saying you're his mom will mess with his head."

"He's never asked about me?"

"No, Sarah. Not once."

Sarah let out a huff. "This isn't over," she said before walking away.

Logan took Kendall's hand. "You OK?"

"She's different," Kendall said.

"I'm sorry."

"I just wish I knew what she was up to."

"What could she possibly gain from seeing Mattie?"

Kendall shook his head. "I don't know. Let's just eat lunch."

"I want this tree!" Mattie said and pointed. They were out looking for Christmas trees.

Kendall chuckled, forgetting about his encounter with Sarah earlier that day. "Mattie, that tree is too big for our house."

"Aw!" Mattie pouted.

"What about this one!" Logan called.

Kendall took Mattie's hand and led him to where Logan was. "That's a nice one." It was a good, full tree that would fit in their house. "What do you think, Mattie?"

Mattie looked the tree over. "It'll do."

Logan laughed. "I'll go find the guy. Guard our tree with your lives." He walked off.

Kendall smiled at Mattie. "You excited for Christmas?"

Mattie poked at the tree with a gloved hand. "Yeah! I'm gonna get lots of presents, and Logan says we can make cookies for Santa!"

"That should be fun." Kendall never thought to do that before. Though he hoped Logan would be in charge of the baking. And he hoped Logan would save some cookie dough. Cookie dough was the shit.

Logan came back with one of the guys who worked at the tree lot. He grabbed the tree, put it on top of the car, and Kendall paid for it.

As they drove home, Mattie talked about tree decorating plans. Kendall made a mental note to get all their Christmas decorations out of the basement. Maybe he, Logan, and Carlos could decorate the house soon.

When they got home, Kendall and Logan worked on getting the tree while Mattie begged for Kendall's keys. "I wanna unlock the door!"

Kendall sighed. "Fine." He gave Mattie his keys. "You know which one?"

Mattie rolled his eyes. "Yeah." He headed to the front door.

"How long has he been doing that?" Kendall asked Logan.

"Um… About a week? I don't know what brought it up. And he won't let me help even though he can barely reach the lock."

They carried the tree to the front porch. "We'll leave it here until we get the stuff up from the basement," Kendall said.

Mattie had unlocked the door and gone inside. Kendall and Logan did the same, removing their coats. Kendall picked Mattie's coat, gloves, scarf, and hat up off the floor and hung them up.

"Hi, sweetie." Kendall froze briefly at the voice then turned around. Sarah was standing in his living room with some dude and Carlos, looking at Mattie.

"I'm not allowed to talk to strangers," Mattie said and moved closer to Logan.

"I'm not a stranger," Sarah said.

Kendall walked over and stood in front of Mattie. "How did you find my house?"

"I asked around," Sarah told him. "When we drove through the neighborhood, we saw Carlos and I figured you lived here."

"She pushed her way into the house after sneaking up on me," Carlos said.

"You should've called the police," Logan mumbled.

Kendall pointed to the guy next to Sarah. "Who is this?"

"My boyfriend George. Wow. Mattie looks just like me."

"He has plenty of Kendall in him," Logan said. "His, eyes, eyebrows, and smile. They make the same facial expressions."

"Why are you here, Sarah?" Kendall asked. "Why do you wanna see Mattie so badly?"

Sarah sighed. "Listen. I told George and my friends that I had a baby when I was in high school. They all thought it would be a good idea if I tried to see him."

"I get it," Kendall said with an emotionless chuckle. "You're only doing this so other people will think better of you. You only want to impress your boyfriend or something. You don't even care about Mattie."

"Of course I care! I'm his mother!"

Mattie stepped from behind Kendall. "No you're not! I don't have a mom!"

"Yes you do," Sarah said calmly. "Me."

"No!" Mattie cried. "You're lying! Daddy, tell her she's lying!"

Kendall looked at Logan pleadingly. Logan picked Mattie up. "Let's go upstairs and play for a bit."

Mattie frowned, tears in his eyes. "But-"

"Shh," Logan interrupted. "Daddy will talk to you about it later." He headed up the stairs with Mattie.

"I think I need some alcohol," Carlos said. "George, would you like some alcohol too?"

"Uh… sure," George said and followed Carlos into the kitchen.

Sarah crossed her arms and glared at Kendall. "I have every right to see my son."

Kendall shook his head. "No, you don't. Don't you remember? You signed away all your parental rights days after his birth."

"Things have changed."

"No they haven't. You don't want to look bad in front of your boyfriend. You want your friends to think you're this nice, loving mom just because you popped out a kid. But in reality, you don't give a shit about him."

"I give a shit about him!"

"Then why has it taken six years for you to show up?" Kendall wondered. "Why haven't you asked about him before? Why haven't you ever sent a birthday or Christmas gift? Why haven't you asked for pictures?"

"I… don't know."

"You made it very clear that you wanted nothing to do with our child. You didn't hold him or look at him after he was born. You made me pick between you and him."

"And you picked him! This thing you didn't even know!"

"Are you bitter about that or something?" Kendall asked.

"You did everything in your power to keep me pregnant. You and your mom wouldn't let me get an abortion—and I know you guys aren't all pro-life. Then you wouldn't give him up for adoption like you should've done."

"I'm sorry I wanted to keep my child."

"Having that baby made my high school years suck. My parents sent me to an all girls' Catholic school. They never trusted me. I couldn't see my friends without an adult present. I wasn't allowed to date. I was miserable."

"And you think my life was peachy?" Kendall asked her. "I was suddenly responsible for another life. I had to grow up fast. I had to work. I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed and change him. I barely passed high school. I had to put Mattie above everything else. It was hard. I didn't get a normal high school life."

"Then why did you keep him if he ruined your life?"

"He didn't ruin my life. He's actually the best thing that happened to me. Seeing the person I created grow into this smart, funny, loving person has been amazing. Seeing him smile or hearing him laugh is the greatest thing ever. I have never loved anything or anyone as much as him."

"Even more than me?" Sarah whispered.


"Even more than this Logan person?"

Kendall nodded. "I would pick Mattie over Logan. And the best thing about Logan is that he knows that. He'd expect me to do that, and would think less of me if I didn't."

"What's so special about Logan anyway?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Mattie loves him. He drew a family tree in school and put Logan in the mom spot since he doesn't have one. Did your friends pressure you into trying to see Mattie?"

Sarah let out a shaky breath. "They made me feel like a bad person for not wanting to see him."

"Now I have to explain all this to Mattie way sooner than I wanted to. I wanted him to be able to understand; not see you as a bad guy. Now he's going to feel like he wasn't good enough for you. God. How can a little kid even begin to get all of this?"

"I'm sorry for causing all this trouble. George! We're leaving!"

George shuffled into the room. "At least you got to see him," he said to Sarah.

Sarah just nodded and they made their way to the door.

Kendall sighed. "I'll tell Mattie that if he ever wants to talk to you, he can. It might not be until he's older, but…"

Sarah smiled a little. "I can give you my cell number and e-mail."

"OK." Kendall got he information then she and George left.

Carlos walked into the room. "I guess she kind of cared."


"Seeing her must've brought up a lot of shit," Carlos said.

"I never really had too much time to think about her. But I always wondered if I still had feelings for her."

"Do you?"

"No. She's not the Sarah I loved. She even walks differently."

"Well, people change," Carlos said. "You have. I have. It happens."

"She only came here so she wouldn't look bad to people. And he boyfriend."

"He seemed like a nice dude. And admitted that trying to see Mattie was his idea. Sarah was pissed when you said no and wouldn't let it go."

"She's immature. Maybe it's best she had nothing to do with raising Mattie." Kendall sighed. "I guess I should go talk to Mattie now."

"Good luck with that."

Kendall went upstairs and headed to Mattie's room. Logan and Mattie were playing with Mattie's toys. Fudge was on Mattie's bed watching them. On the dry erase board Logan got Mattie for his birthday a Christmas tree was drawn. Kendall walked over to them and sat next to Mattie. "We need to talk, kid."

"You want me to leave?" Logan asked.

"No. Please stay." Kendall figured both he and Mattie would need Logan's support. He looked at Mattie. "You were wondering about that lady?"

Mattie frowned as he nodded. "She said she's my mom. But that's a lie."

Kendall bit his lip, trying to think of a way to explain it so Mattie would understand. "We talked about where babies come from."

"From a lady's belly."

"Exactly. Well, um, you were in a lady's belly once. That lady that was here, you were in her belly."

Mattie looked confused. "She is my mom?" He shook his head. "No! I don't have a mom." He crawled into Logan's lap, seeking comfort. "It's not true."

Kendall sighed. "She was your mom. She kind of… isn't anymore."


"She signed a paper so she wouldn't be your mom. She can never take you away from me."

"She didn't want to be my mom?" Mattie asked. "Was I bad?"

"No! Sometimes… a lady carries a baby in her belly when she isn't ready to take care of a baby. You didn't do anything wrong. She wasn't ready for a baby, so she let me keep you."

"You were ready?"

"Yes," Kendall said with a nod. "I saw a picture of you while you were still in her belly. You were really tiny, and I loved you so much. I made sure I was ready. I wanted to keep you. I'll always want to keep you. I love you more than anything. OK?"

"OK." Mattie got out of Logan's lap and went over to Kendall. "I love you too, Daddy." He hugged Kendall.

Kendall held Mattie tight, glad he wasn't upset. Kendall wasn't sure Mattie totally understood, but hopefully one day he would.

"Do I have to call her Mommy now?" Mattie asked.

"No. You don't even have to see or speak to her unless you want to."

"I don't wanna," Mattie said. "Logan is a better mommy."

Kendall laughed. "He is. But if you ever want to talk to her, just ask me."

Mattie nodded. "I'm hungry."

"I'll make you mac and cheese," Logan said as he stood.

Mattie smiled at him. "I love you, Logan."

Logan picked him up. "I love you too, Mattie."

Logan really did make a better mom than Sarah.

Hope this was a good chapter for you all.