Quinn was crying on Rachel's bed when Santana walked in. Santana wanted to give Quinn some time to herself. Now she was wishing she hadn't left Quinn alone.
Santana walked over to the bed, sat down and pulled Quinn against her chest. Everyone thought they hated each other, and sometimes they did dislike each other, but they were best friends, them and Brittany, the Unholy Trinity. They loved each other like sisters and like all friends they had their bad times: Quinn telling Sue about the boob job and Santana trying to keep Quinn away from Puck, though the latter was for Quinn's benefit. Santana always thought the blonde had feelings for the diva.
Santana wasn't good with emotions but she cast aside her discomfort in order to comfort her sad best friend. "She is so angry with me," Quinn cried. "Not that I blame her. I've been horrible to her. I just expected her to… I honestly don't know what I expected." That was a lie. Quinn expected Rachel to forgive her, no matter how stupid the idea was, because that is what Rachel did.
Santana held onto the sobbing blonde. Brittany would find Rachel and calm her down, that much was certain. Brittany was good at that sort of thing. "Q, after everything we have done to her, do you really blame her for not believing you? I will admit I have never been her biggest fan but the shit I've done to her was over the line, I promise I will try to make it up to her, but I never did half the stuff you did. B went to go find her and you know Britt she will calm Rachel down." If Brittany could calm an angry Santana down then calming Rachel Berry would be a piece of cake.
"She will never love me," Quinn said sadly. "I don't know why I ever thought she could." She knew it and it caused her heart to ache.
"That's not true Q," Santana told her, though Santana wasn't sure if it was true or not.
"Did you read her suicide note?" Quinn asked.
"No," Santana said truthfully. "I glanced at it and knew what it was but I was busy trying to help save her life. Did you read it?"
"Part of it, the first few lines and my name," Quinn admitted.
"I think we should read it," Santana stated.
Quinn pulled away from Santana to study her. "I don't think that's a good idea. I want to respect her privacy."
"Q she wanted people to read that letter, that's why she wrote it and I think it would help. If we read it then we can figure out what is bothering her most and find ways to make it better for her." Quinn couldn't deny Santana had a point. Quinn would do anything to make life better for the diva.
"Fine," Quinn agreed. If reading the note could help Quinn make amends then that is exactly what she was going to do. Santana got off the bed and picked up the letter that she had placed on the dresser. "Who is going to read it?"
"I will," Santana said opening it up. Quinn was in no position to read especially when it got to her name.
"If you are reading this right now than it is safe to assume my plan worked and I am dead," Santana started reading. Quinn leaned against Santana and was crying again. "I never do anything without careful planning and weighing the pros and cons of my decision. I have decided the pros outweigh the cons by a wide margin.
Dad, Daddy I know you don't understand but know that I am in a better place and I am happy. I have always been honest with you about everything and in the interest of keeping that honestly even after my death I will give you the explanation you deserve.
I want you both to know that this is not your fault. You guys are the best fathers a girl could ask for and I am proud to call you my parents. A lot of things have contributed to my decision. I cannot explain everything simply because there isn't enough time or paper. There are a few people that helped me make my decision, mostly through actions and not words although one person's words were the final straw." Quinn cried even harder knowing it was her that Rachel was talking about. "It is your choice if you want them to know or read this letter.
I loved Finn more than anything and then I found out he had slept with Santana last year and lied to me about it." Quinn glared at Santana though she wasn't really mad at the Latina. She was angrier at Finn for lying to Rachel. Santana had the decency to look guilty for her part in Rachel finding out. "I was so angry at them both but now I realize I am not angry with Santana. Yes she slept with him but Finn and I weren't together at the time and she was the one who told me the truth. Granted her reasons for being honest were to get back at me but I appreciate it all the same. I wanted to give myself to Finn, eventually, and Santana helped me realize that it would be a big mistake. I wish I could thank her."
"Thank you," Quinn said. Santana nodded and hugged her friend. Her motives were entirely selfish when Santana told Rachel about Finn so she was happy at least something good came out of it.
"I was furious that Finn lied to me so I went to Noah and we made out but Noah broke it off before we could go further. I'm happy he did because I know I would have regretted it. Finn came to me the next day wanting to work out our relationship and I told him about my encounter with Noah. He was so angry. He called me a slut and broke up with me." Quinn gripped Santana's hand causing Santana to wince in pain. Quinn had to stop herself from jumping up and going to kill the tall boy.
"After we broke up I was devastated but no one noticed or cared. Kurt and Mercedes told me to it was my own fault and to get over it and stop being so self-centered." Quinn and Santana glared at the paper. Santana was going to go all Lima Heights on the people that broke Rachel.
"Spending time you guys made me feel better. I thought about dying a few times before but after a family night I felt like I deserved to live, until glee club today." Quinn cried harder and pulled herself closer to Santana.
Santana's voice was shaking when she started to read again. "Mr. Schue was upset that glee club wasn't getting along. Between recent events and the fact that no one likes me he wanted us to 'bond' with someone that we normally wouldn't sing with. Mr. Schue is a good teacher and it's obvious he cares about his students but he doesn't like me anymore than the rest of them do. It hurts when he doesn't defend me and he acts like nothing is wrong. I don't think teachers should act like that but I can't do anything about it. I just wish one person could care about me." Quinn and Santana were ready to kill Mr. Schue. They both knew he wasn't known for defending Rachel but they didn't realize how much it hurt her.
"Anyway I was partnered with Quinn and as you know she doesn't really like me," Quinn winced at the words, "I will admit I was thrilled at the idea of working with Quinn. Her voice is beautiful and I thought it would go well with mine," Quinn smiled at the words and then instantly felt guilty, again, "needless to say Quinn didn't feel the same. She complained about working with me and insinuated we would kill each other. She then said it would be easier if I killed myself. That hurt more than anything and I realized she was right. No one wanted me and life would be easier for everyone involved if I was dead." Quinn was sobbing uncontrollably at the realization at how much she hurt the girl she loved.
"I hope you guys could do me a favor and thank Brittany for me," Santana and Quinn gasped and Santana rushed to read more, "she may not have liked me but she was always kind. One day she even brought me ice cream in hopes of making me feel better. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't vegan ice cream though so I ate some of it. She looked so happy."
"Santana what are you thinking?" Quinn said when she saw a few tears fall onto the paper.
"I always thought she was so selfish but she ate ice cream Brittany brought her even though she was a vegan just so she wouldn't hurt Brits feelings." Santana's expression changed from sad to determined. "I will help protect her at school. Anyone that tries to mess with her will answer to me and that includes Schuester and Finnocence."
Quinn hugged Santana and kissed her cheek. "Thanks S, it means a lot to me."
Rachel now had a friend and when Santana was your friend she would do anything for you.
"Yeah, yeah," Santana said trying not to show any more emotion. She turned her attention back to the letter. "I hope Brittany doesn't blame herself for what happened but I can't stay alive for her, mainly because Santana wouldn't let me near her." It was Santana's turn to wince at the words.
"I love you both and I hope you don't mourn for too long. I think you guys will be better off without me.
Love, Rachel Barbra Berry
Santana chuckled softly and held up the letter so Quinn could see. Quinn shook her head and wiped away her tears, only Rachel Berry would put a gold star on her suicide note.
Quinn held her breath when she heard the front door shut open and shut. "They are back," Santana stated. "We should go downstairs. The pasta is probably ready."
Santana pulled Quinn off the bed and down to the kitchen where Rachel and Brittany were sitting and talking quietly. "Hi," Quinn said softly. She didn't want to scare Rachel or make her mad again. Santana went to Brittany and hugged her.
"She agreed to give us a chance," Brittany whispered to Santana. Santana smiled and kissed the dancer.
"Good job Brit-Brit, I love you so much," Santana whispered back.
"I love you too San."
"Rach are you ok?" Quinn asked the diva. Rachel looked pale and Quinn was concerned about her wellbeing. Rachel glanced at Brittany. The blonde gave an encouraging nod.
"I'm fine Quinn just a little dizzy," Rachel answered quietly.
Santana observed the diva before she went to the bags Brittany brought and dug through them. "Here Rachel you need to drink this," Santana said handing Rachel a bottle of PowerAde. Rachel stared openmouthed at the Latina. It was the first time Santana had ever used her first name and for the longest time Rachel was under the impression Santana didn't even know her name.
Rachel tried to open the bottle but didn't have the strength to do it so Brittany took it from her and removed the lid before handing the bottle back to the diva. "Thank you," Rachel said.
"So," Quinn said. Quinn wanted a distraction. As much as she hated to admit it Quinn Fabray was jealous of Brittany Pierce, jealous of the fact that Rachel was talking to her and the fact Brittany could help her and Quinn couldn't.
"So what Fabray?" Santana said smirking at the blonde. She could tell the blonde was jealous of Brittany and was trying to take Rachel's attention away from Brittany. Santana went back to the pasta and drained the water before putting it into four bowls.
"Rach what happened with Finn?" Quinn asked.
"We broke up," she said shrugging. "You already know that. Why do you want him back?"
Quinn had to stop herself from gagging at the thought of dating Finn again. "No I don't want him. I was just wondering. You are sadder now then you were before."
Brittany squeezed Rachel's good arm in support. "I found out about Santana and Finn and went to Noah for revenge. I ended up telling Finn the truth about Noah. He said some horrible things and broke up with me in a crowded hallway."
Quinn gripped the edge of the table in anger. She wanted to get up and go to his house and kick his ass but she wouldn't leave Rachel until Rachel told her to leave. "Rach is there anything you wanted to do this weekend?" Quinn asked.
"You guys are staying?" Rachel looked around at the cheerleaders and they all nodded.
"We already told you we are," Santana said.
"Doesn't mean you can't change your mind," Rachel retorted.
"We could but we aren't," Santana said firmly. Brittany and Quinn nodded in agreement. "We aren't leaving you alone until you are better, your dads come home, or you force us out of the house, whichever happens last. Even then you are stuck with the Unholy Trinity."
They stood at the counter and ate their pasta.
"I want to quit glee club," Rachel announced quietly.
The Unholy Trinity was speechless.