It's been a while. I am very busy and will update whenever I can. This is my second attempt at this story and I'm sorry if I offend anyone in anyway. Well go on ahead read and feel free to review. I hope you enjoy and thanks for your time.
If Loving You is Wrong
The dark clouds above seemed to fit the mood, and the sound of thunder in the distance, promised heavy rainfall soon. Which was typical for the time of year.
Shana sat in her car, fighting back the tears, telling herself to be strong. What she was about to do wasn't easy, and in the end someone was going to get hurt. Someones heart was going to be completely broken, and nothing would ever be the same. She never wanted any of this, never planned any of it, and didn't understand how it all got out of hand so easily. Her life was a mess and everything she had worked so hard for, was on the chopping block. Shana had done the unthinkable and unforgivable; and now her dark secret was out.
As sick as it may have seemed to the others around her... it was the biggest relief. She no longer felt that huge weight on her shoulders, the guilt no longer possessed her mind, and the burden of her secret seemed to spread. There was no doubt that what she did was wrong... but at times it felt, somewhat right. Even though she was completely disgusted with herself, she would catch herself smiling at the deed she had done. Shana was beyond confused but now it was time to confront that, and make a decision.
All those years in marital arts, law school, the military, and everything she had accomplished... no longer seemed to matter. She would be forever known as one thing, to her family and comrades, an adulteress. Scarlett would no longer be the image of perfection to her soldiers. Her family and friends, back at home, would no longer think of her as the women who had it all. Now she would walk around feeling as though she had an A on the breast of her clothing, like Hester Prynne. But maybe that's what she wanted. She was flawed, she made mistakes, she could be weak, and what she had done... proved all that and more.
Every day she woke up to the man she married sleeping right beside her, sometimes longing to see her lover. Then every night when she crawled into bed, hoping not to wake him up, she'd fall asleep dreaming of another mans arms wrapped around her. She had become a master at coming up with excuses, at starting fights so she could storm off, and at sneaking in and out at all hours of the night.
For the past year and a half, she had been living a lie. She had been living in an alternate reality, and now everything was coming back to haunt her. She knew that there would be consequences for her actions... but didn't know how much the overwhelming guilt could consume and forever scar her. Shana had broken promises, lied to, and cheated on the man she loved. Not only had she ruined her reputation, but his as well.
Shana never pictured herself in the position she was in now. Never thought she had it in her. When she married Conrad five years ago, she honestly believed they would be together forever. Every moment they had spent together, prior to all this, was what some regarded as perfect. No matter what anyone would ever say... she really did love him. He was amazing and there was never a moment in their marriage where she felt alone. He was always on her side, he always believed in her, he always trusted her, and no matter what he would always love her. Shana would always be the love of his life.
She knew, that in time, Duke would forgive her. That was the kind of man he was. Maybe their marriage could survive the huge blow she punched into it. However, she knew she would never forgive herself. No matter what, their relationship would never be the same. Yes, she did love Conrad Hauser, but she was also in love with someone else.
Scarlett didn't have much time. Her lover was waiting at their usual spot for a decision. She sat in her car and let the emotions run throughout her body. She had no idea what she was about to do. She let the events of the past few months play back in her head... starting with January 9th 2010. At the beginning of it all.