Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Still not SM. Story is all ours though.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. I know this took a long time and I sent out many fake updates letting y'all know I'd be updating soon. BUT LOOK AT THIS, NOT A FAKE OUT. A real chapter. For those that have loved on this story and Losing Control for so long, thank you thank you thank you. This hasn't been beta'd because I wanted to get it posted ASAP. Now on to the smut. *grin*


Ness and I don't linger at dinner. I want to spend as much time with her as I can, before Bella and Edward get back. There's no doubt in my mind that they will want to spend time with Ness when they return. Not that I can blame them. They both love her very much, and as someone else that feels the same way, I can at least understand the desire to be near her. It's not like they refuse to let me see her but I don't want to get in the way of their family time before we leave for Seattle.

Ness and I decide to spend one last night in our clearing and set up our little camp site again. I'm going to miss the tent, I admit to myself. Well, I'll miss the privacy, but not the cramped space. A smile spreads across my face when I think about the apartment Ness and I will share in Seattle. Our own space together. No having to spend nights away from one another when all we want to do is cuddle up (her), and kiss (me).

"What are you smiling about?" Ness comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist.

I run my hands down her arms, her skin like silk, and place my hands on top of hers, twisting our fingers together. "Us. Living together, specifically. I'm really looking forward to making that move." I feel a slight pressure on my shoulder blade, a kiss, before she replies. "As am I, my Jacob."

There is a smile in her voice and I can't help but want to turn around and see her beautiful face. When I pull her around in front of me she's still beaming and it makes my heart jump. It's crazy to think that one person can love another this much. But I do, I love her so intensely that it seems almost unbelievable if I think of it too long. When I allow myself to let it drift around in my mind I also realize things will just get better and better as time goes on. I have never been so thankful for something in my life.

We finish setting up the tent area and talk about how we'll both miss this little spot. I make a mental note to remember to bring her back here for a picnic, maybe on the next holiday. Valentine's day? Though, that may be too cold to be romantic. I can probably manage to keep her warm though, I smirk at the thought. Mostly when visions of my body resting on top of hers while I kiss her sweet lips. I'm looking forward to it already.

Tugging on my hand she brings me back to our current moment and I watch as Ness sits on the pile of blankets and sleeping bags. She folds her beautiful legs under her body and my gaze lingers on them. Ness laughs and shakes her head when she catches me drooling. Not bothering to explain myself I flop down onto the comfortable spot next to her.

"You are so beautiful," I tell her, watching the blush on her face grow as I reach out to touch her cheek, running the back of my fingers along her pale skin. Bringing Ness' face close to mine I kiss her lips softly. Her lips taste like vanilla. I realize that is cheesy to be thinking about but it's true. I know she uses some sort of lip stuff with flavor. Ness leans into my chest immediately and I wrap my arms around her, playing with the ends of her long hair as they brush her back. Twisting the strands around my fingers I wrap my hand up in the length, using it to tilt her head so I can move my lips down her neck.

Obviously my senses are heightened but it's mind blowing how good she tastes on my tongue. When I nip at her she shivers, her nipples hardening against my chest. Growling into her skin I move back up to her jaw to whisper in her ear, "Do you want to-?"

I'm not really sure what it is I'm asking but she nods and pushes back when I release her hair. No hesitation. Well ok, then. Her shirt comes up and over her head faster than I expect. There's no way I could keep my eyes from dropping to her boobs, even if I wanted to. Which I don't, because I'm not stupid. Ness is wearing a light purple bra, it's trimmed with lace, and I can see through it. Dear, god. Hallelujah. Her nipples looks like they are begging me to lick them. Of course I am happy to do just that.

Tracing the fabric with my fingertip I then slip under the lace, watching as goose bumps pop up on her skin. It still makes me crazy to know that I can do that to her. That her body reacts to mine so quickly. That I'm lucky enough to be with someone I love so very deeply. Trying to ignore the way my dick is already getting hard I pay attention to the beautiful woman in front of me. I need to worship her.

Without me being prepared for what she's about to do Ness reaches behind her back, unhooking her bra, allowing the straps slip down her arms. As I help her to pull off the scrap of material I rub it between my fingers, soaking in the warmth of her skin. I'm not one to waste time. I drop it between us and cup one of her breasts in my hand. Her breath is shaky when I use the fingers on my other hand to play with her uncovered nipple.

I watch my hands, letting my eyes dart up to her face every few seconds. It's hard to know where to look. She's so responsive that I can't decide what's better - seeing the glazed over look in her eyes or watching her nipples pop out. Hmm. My thumb and index finger pluck at little and she whimpers. The sounds she makes are my favorite in the world.

Unable to wait any longer I drop my face to pull a nipple into my mouth. I love how perfectly sized her breasts are. They fit in my hands just right. My mouth, even better. When I suck on her nipple, flicking my tongue against it, my nose is buried against Ness' skin as I inhale her scent. How is it that she smells so sweet? Delicious. She is absolutely edible.

That thought makes my hard-on jump in my jeans, because now all I can think about is tasting her everywhere. All of her skin, from head to toe, stopping for a leisurely taste of her thighs. Fuck. Would she let me?

She is climbing onto my lap, straddling me, pressing her pussy against my cock. And fuck if it doesn't feel painfully good. Well shit, I guess we aren't wasting any time. Not that we really have to. I've wanted this for too long, but I haven't wanted to push her. Looks like I worried for nothing. Fuck. This girl. My imprint.

"Ness?" My left hand drops to her waist, pulling her tight against me. When I lift my face from her chest she's watching me with intensity, waiting. Her lips are parted, quick breaths puffing out of her lungs. I look into her heavy eyes and make a trail over to the button of her waistband, gauging her reaction as I use my legs to kneel and lay her back.

Leaving the button open I move my hand back up to her torso, skimming over her stomach and ribs until I reach her breasts. I'm almost desperate to have her nipples back in my mouth; I don't waste any time.

She whispers my name, her voice all full of whimpers and moans and it makes the animalistic nature inside of me want to get her completely naked. Moving my hands up her stomach, along the slight flare of her hips. I place kisses on her skin until I reach her puckered nipple. Pulling it into my mouth, I take it between my teeth and give it a light tug. Ness' fingers twist in my hair, pulling my head closer as her back arches toward me. I growl against her tit, thrilled with her reaction to me. She's always been relaxed around me but seeing her completely letting go is sexy as hell.

Slipping my thigh between her legs I use my weight to hold Ness down on our temporary bed. I want her at my mercy. Having given her a few minutes of time with my mouth I slide a hand back down her stomach, to her pants. My movements are slow, in case she wants to stop me, or even shows the slightest hesitation.

"Jake, please?"

My eyes dart up to her face when her sweet voice touches my ears. Ness is looking down at me, hopeful and full of desire. I was almost afraid she would tell me we needed to stop. That look on her face nearly makes my brain shut down but I keep moving. I don't ask her what she's begging me to do, hoping it's the same thing I'm thinking about. Have been thinking about all day.

I place kisses as far as I can, meeting the fabric covering the rest of Ness' body. She picks up one of my hands and moves it to the zipper of her jeans, leaving me with zero doubt. Sliding the metal down slowly I watch as her panties underneath are revealed. They barely qualify as clothing, the material is so thin. Ness wiggles her hips, pushing at her jeans with a hand. I'm unable to stop the chuckle of laughter that rumbles forward.

"You in a hurry, Tathut?" I ask with a smirk on my face as I keep my eyes on hers.

She blushes at my question but nods her head 'yes'. No way am I going to deny her anything when she is so obviously eager. It's both cute and sexy, seeing her anxious with desire.

Together, we shimmy down her jeans, over her hips, panties dragging along until Ness reaches to stop them. Not quite ready to let those go, I guess. To be honest, I'd rather take my time and remove that bit of material myself. Reveal her to my eyes slowly instead of a collective removal of the last piece of her clothing. The anticipation building and burning.

I drag Ness's jeans all the way down her beautiful legs. They are shapely, her muscles defined but feminine. Dance has done amazing things to her limbs. While they are full of power, there is still beauty and delicateness as well. A fine balance that draws the eye all the way to the tips of her toes, which are painted a soft pink. Her perfection blows my mind.

When I reach her feet and pull the jeans completely off I crawl back up the makeshift bed I let my eyes wander up Ness' body. That's when I notice her fingers are gripping the waistband of her panties. I allow my eyes to move up to meet hers, unsure whether she's holding on to them because she wants me to give her time or she's ready to rip them off herself. Smiling to myself I imagine her doing just that. For Ness to lose her senses, to be unable to control her lust for me, would be unbelievably sexy.

"Still ok?" I wonder aloud.

"I'm great, Jake. You always make me feel comfortable." Ness responds quickly. Her voice sounds confident, thank goodness. It puts any lingering hesitation I may have had behind me.

Placing kisses up her thigh I take my time, giving both of us the opportunity to soak in this new piece of our relationship. I follow my lips with my fingertips, all the up to her hips, stopping at the waist of her panties. Hooking my fingers under the lace I watch as I slowly begin to pull them down. This time, Ness doesn't help, as she did with her jeans. From above me, I can see her stomach quivering, her breaths coming and going sharply.

I keep my eyes on my hands as I lower them, sliding over the indention below her hip bone, thigh, to her knees, down her shins. Letting my fingers glide along her skin lightly the entire way until finally I reach her ankles and pull the fabric off, over her feet. Without bothering to look at where they land I toss the piece of clothing over my shoulder and grin down at Ness. Her hands reach out to me, asking me to come closer.

She's biting on her lip, her eyes on my mouth. I want nothing more than to kiss her in that single second. Ness' body feels soft against mine, the curves of her body pressing in my chest and hips. Without me realizing what she's about to do I feel her legs move and then they are wrapped around my hips, pressing her against my crotch. It's impossible for me not to press my dick down into her warmth. Even though we are close to the same temperature, it still feels like she has fire between her thighs. I smile against her lips, knowing she's already turned on. I'm going to love making her lose her mind tonight.

Letting my hands grip her hips I move my own in a circle, moaning into her mouth when she lifts to meet me. There is such a thin barrier between us and I want nothing more than to remove it but I doubt that would be my wisest decision ever. If I lose my clothes I don't know if I'll be able to stop us and I want the first time we have sex to be in a bed, not on blankets and a sleeping bed in a tent. Instead, I put all of my focus on Ness, pressing my lips to her chin, neck, shoulders. My tongue has a mind of its own, sneaking out to taste her skin as I go.

Over the sweet skin of her breast, down her ribcage, to her hip. I inhale deeply and I can smell the subtle hint of her arousal. Bless my wolf senses. Just thinking about her being wet makes my mouth water before I get to my destination. I kiss her hip bone then run the tip of my nose along an invisible line over to the other side, kissing there too.

Her fingers pull at my hair, pushing my head down, causing me to laugh. Ness is an eager girl. My eager girl. But I want to make her wait a little and, instead of putting my mouth where she wants it, I choose to use my fingers. Scooting my body down a little so that I can get comfortable, I prop myself on an elbow and use my free hand to move her legs into a different position. I glance up at Ness while my index finger moves along the crease of her thigh, teasing her. The skin there is already damp. Damn.

She's propped herself up on a couple of pillows so she can see what I'm doing. Clever. Her face is flushed red and she's still gnawing on her lip. Ness' eyes though, they are what get my attention the most. They are dark and full of need, the lids heavy. She is indescribably beautiful.

Watching her face, and occasionally letting my eyes drift down to my hand, I inch my finger from the bend of her thigh, to the outer lip of her pussy. It too, is wet, if not a bit more than the spot I've just touched. Ness shudders at the first touch then sighs when I do it again. My touch is so light I'm surprised she can actually sense it.

I make several passes, watching my finger move up and down her tender skin. Moving the digit over a little closer with each swipe, I finally reach her wet opening. Ness' legs spread wider, hips lifting off of the blankets to meet my touch, making my finger slip into her pussy with ease. I want nothing more than to bury my face into her but I've promised myself I'll take things slow.

Adding another finger I let them slide along her damp lips gently. I have to remind myself that we've yet to go this far and I have to give her time to adjust. "You are so beautiful, Ness," I mutter, my voice barely a whisper. I'm in awe of how perfect she is. Perfect for me. We are perfect together.

She sighs and reaches out to touch my face, running her fingers along my skin before speaking, "Jacob, you make me feel beautiful. I love you so much." Those words send a pang of desire up my spine. I'll never get use to hearing her voice filled with want and love.

"Always, Ness, I will love you always. I'm going to make you feel treasured beyond belief, forever."

My fingers push into Ness's pussy slowly. She is tight and I take extra care to make sure she's relaxed when I insert one single finger as far as I can. Ness quivers around me, her body clenching. My finger strokes her, pulling back out before slipping back in, spreading her wetness. Her moans float around me and I grin before placing two fingers back at her hole. Pressing into Ness gently, I groan, imagining what her heat will feel like around my dick. Wet, slick, and tight as I bury deep into her. The idea nearly sends me over the edge and I adjust my own hips against the ground. My dick throbs and I groan. The first time we make love is going to be hard as hell. I doubt I'll be able to stop myself from coming two seconds in.

The movement of my fingers is slow and gentle but she lifts her hips every time I pull out and I know she's enjoying this. I'm making her feel good about her body, about us and what we are doing.

"I'm going to make you come, baby. Is that ok with you?" I ask with a smirk on my face. Ness is panting harsh breaths, letting me know she is more than ready. Moaning my name, she then begs me to keep going, to make her orgasm. And who am I to tell her no? Especially when I want her so badly. But this isn't about me, this is about her, and I will do anything I can to pleasure her, regardless of how much I need to come myself.

Delicate hands move over my shoulders, up to my neck and into my hair, tugging it at the root. Her beautiful body is shaking, quivering against mine and I know she is so close. I need to taste her and I there isn't a doubt that she'll let me attempt such an intimate act.

Licking her sweet flesh, I move my mouth along the bend of her leg, moving closer to where I want to be, where my fingers are teasing. The first time I get a taste of her I realize I'll never be able to deny myself this again. Ness is delicious. As soon as I touch the tip of my tongue to her wet lips I hear her gasp in surprise. I run the flat of my tongue along her delicate skin, allowing both of us to enjoy the slow movement. It's almost torture for the both of us, considering how worked up we already are, but I want to take my time, worship her. Letting my teeth graze her clit I grin between her legs, loving the sounds I'm coaxing out of Ness.

While my tongue works to push into her, my thumb glides against her clit. I have to use my hands to hold her hips immobile. Otherwise Ness' movements would throw me off balance. I'm determined to make her come this way and want to keep my attention focused on my task. Moving my tongue up to her clit I begin to flick it after slipping my fingers back into her opening. I find the spot I know will make her lose all of her senses and Ness begins to fall apart in my arms, calling my name over and over.

Her gasps and moans bounce around the inside of our tent and I remember that we're outside, and that Ness is none too loud. I hope my brothers aren't out patrolling in the area. I know there isn't much we are able to keep a secret because of phasing and sharing thoughts, but I don't want these moments shared with anyone else.

I could drink from her body all day.


I must have dozed off because I wake to the feeling of Ness' hands moving down my chest and stomach. Her chin is propped up on my chest and she's watching me with a smile on her face.

"Hi there, beautiful girl," my voice sounds croaky with sleep. She doesn't say anything, but instead, her hand keeps moving. My eyes squeeze shut when she slips under my boxer briefs and wraps her hand around my cock. "Fuck," I moan, making her giggle as she strokes upward. I'm pretty sure she's trying to make me lose my mind.


The next time I wake up, birds are chirping and the sun is bright. I have no idea what time it is but Ness is still snuggled next to me and I don't want to move an inch. Unfortunately, I know we probably don't have a lot of time before Bella and Edward will be home. No doubt Edward will try his best to get here earlier than we expect. I understand that he only wants to protect his daughter, but I wish he would trust me even more than he already does. Though, I guess, if Ness were my daughter, I wouldn't trust me either, especially knowing what we did the night before.

Ness begins to stir next to me, stretching her body against mine and cuddling closer before kissing the side of my neck. "Good morning, Tathut."

"Good morning, my love." I can hear the smile in her voice and I turn to kiss her lips.

"We should get dressed and clean this stuff up." I tell her reluctantly. I'm not ready to move and I know Ness isn't either. But we have plans for the day. The tent and things need to be put away, we both need showers and clean clothes and then we're going to spend the day working on the Mustang. We also promised my dad we'd be there for dinner. Of course, neither of us budges for quite some time. Well, other than a heavy make out session and a blow job from Ness that made me see stars. She has a beautiful mouth.


We spend the whole day tinkering with Ness' car. She assists me when I need the help; whether it's just by handing me tools, or digging around under the hood of the car. Ness is never afraid to get dirty and it's another thing I love about her. As if I need more reason. Ness owns me completely.

Later in the afternoon we drive over to dads house for dinner. Rachel and Paul are there as well. My sister looks really pregnant, but I refrain from saying so. The last time I mentioned that she looked like she was having five babies instead of just two - well, Paul nearly pummeled me because Rachel wouldn't stop crying. Women are so sensitive when they're pregnant. Later, Ness gave me a talking to after that whole thing. Rachel isn't that far along and her stomach will...expand as the months trickle on. So yeah, I keep my mouth shut now.

Ness and Rachel spend the entire dinner talking about names and a whole lot of stuff Paul and I don't care about. Who cares if she's using the diapers that you throw in the trash? When she says the words "breast feed" I walk out of the room. There are just some things you don't want to know about your sister. I'm aware that she has breasts, but I don't want to hear her talk about them. Ness on the other hand, a flash of hers flicker through my mind and I'd love nothing more than to get my mouth on them again.

Paul and I hang out in the living room for a bit before I have to get Ness home. Her parents have already sent her a text message to let her know they're home. Though I know she's having a nice time hanging out with Rach, I know Ness is looking forward to seeing her parents too.

Edward and Bella meet us in the front yard of the cottage when we pull into the driveway. Ness jumps out to hug her mom. Bella spins Ness around and they both giggle like little girls. I can't help but watch the woman I love and her mother, the woman I became friends with at fifteen. The girl I thought was my first true love. Both of them changed my life more than I ever thought possible. I know they want to spend time together and I tell Ness I'm going to take off, though I don't want to. Just as I turn away, Edward calls after me.

I follow him off to the side when Edward says he wants to talk to me. What he has to say surprises and excites me. The university has accepted me but I have to wait to register for classes, which I'm fine with. But what really shocks me is what Edward says next.

"Bella mentioned you sharing Ness' apartment. Now, before you get excited about it, I want to say that I'm not thrilled about the idea, Jake."

Not wanting to rock the boat I choose my words wisely, "I do understand your hesitancy, Edward."

"Good. I'm going to allow you to move in with her in Seattle, Jacob, because I do like the idea of someone watching out for Ness. Her living alone wasn't exactly my favorite thing about her going off to school."

I stand up a little straighter, surprised by this concession. "I only have Ness' well being in mind, Edward." I'll be honest though, I'd be going up there with or without his understanding, obviously.

"I know that, Jake, and I admire that in you. I've never doubted that she's safe when Ness is with you. I know you'll protect her in Seattle." He pauses before continuing, and I know it's not going to be as easy and I'd hoped. "However, you are there to learn, not have sex with my daughter. It's a two bedroom apartment, and I would really like for the two of you have to have separate rooms," he stops again and sighs, "but I know that's not going to happen. I just ask that you two be careful, whatever happens between now and the future. Give Ness time to grow up some more before things get too serious."

I keep my face impassive, because he'd take my dick off if he knew what we did just a few hours ago. "Edward, I respect you enough to tell you I can't make that kind of promise. I understand your reasoning, but Ness will be eighteen soon and it's her choice. I can assure you that I'll never let her do something I think she feels like she has to do. We will do what feels right for us, as a couple."

Edward doesn't look happy but I can see he's not going to argue with me. The last thing I want is for there to be more tension between us, and in the end, I think Edward feels the same way. Any discomfort between us will effect Ness and Bella. Neither of us wants that.

"Fine. But I don't want Ness staying at Billy's house with you. Until Ness goes to Seattle, you're welcome to stay here." I really didn't expect Edward to invite me to stay with them until Ness and I leave. Without thinking I tell him that I'm not living at Billy's, that I've already started sleeping at the house I bought for Ness and I. Edward is obviously surprised, though I don't really know why. It makes sense for me to stay there while I'm working on it. I can work late and then crash for the night. I love sleeping in our future home, imaging what it will be like to share it with Ness. Her rambling around in the kitchen, me 'helping' out but really just watching her work. Waking up with my face buried in her thick hair. Yeah, that's especially nice to think about.

After Edward and I finish talking I head home, knowing I'll be talking to Ness on the phone soon doesn't make me miss her less though. Being able to spend several nights with her only makes it harder to be apart from Ness. I can't wait for Seattle, to spend as much time with her as we want. I know we'll both be incredibly busy but we can study together every night, have dinner, hang out and relax without our families hovering.

That night, I call dad, Sue, Sam and Leah to schedule a meeting to discuss my school plans and what will happen when I temporarily move to Seattle. They all agree to a time and day later in the week and I'm both nervous and excited to talk about it. The most important thing is knowing I can lean on all of the council and the pack while I'm in the city. I have the most dependable family any guy could ask for and I know they respect my relationship with my imprint. But they all have their own families and lives and I worry my time away will interfere with that.


Two days later I'm sitting in dads living room with the others and they are asking me a dozen questions regarding my move.

Sam gets in a few friendly jabs about being a college man and leaving them behind. I know he's only kidding but I hope it doesn't really appear that way to everyone else. La Push is my home; it always has been and always will be. There won't be a day in my life I'll want to permanently move away. Or to become something I wasn't raised to be. My family, blood and wolf, are more important to me than my own life.

"I can come home any time I need to," I assure them, "For any reason. If I phase and run I'll be here in no time. I won't shirk my duties. Ever. The rez means everything to me."

Leah is the first to vocally have my back, reassuring me. "Jake, don't worry so much, we'll be fine. Sam is just trying to be funny. We know you are committed to us." I'm a bit surprised she's being so understanding. I expected her to be one of my largest obstacles. There's no doubt she supports my relationship with Ness, but me being gone most of the time will put a lot of pressure on Leah. The last few years we've become closer but Leah will always be Leah. She doesn't attempt to hide her feelings about anything. I wouldn't want her to be any other way though.

I wave away Leah's comment and tell her I know Sam is only joking, but that I worry about leaving my duties behind. Sam, Embry, Paul and the rest of the guys each reach out to pound my knuckles and I know they have my back too. Not that I ever really thought they wouldn't. But to have them all give me their approval is important to me. This will change all of their lives, not only mine and Ness's. In the end, every person in this house, and those they love, are my family. We are bonded.

"I should apologize in advance though," I start to tell them, smirking, "for being the ass I know I'll be the week Ness and I are separated. She'll be moving to Seattle a few days before I will."

Embry makes a face and I know he gets where I'm coming from the most. Though Lillah is so fully committed to him and their family, I know he still worries. Lillah is the only imprint that's not from around here originally. She occasionally goes to visit her family and friends. During those times Embry is, well, an asshole when she's away. To be honest, we all avoid him as much as possible.

Seth offers to help me move the things I'm packing up while conversation quickly turns to other things after that. I observe everyone, laughing and joking, the other guys teasing one another. I can't help but laugh. I'm going to miss these idiots, even with the short distance we'll have between us. I know moving to Seattle with Ness is the right decision for me, and for her, but I'm already looking forward to the day we move back home. A thrill moves up my spine when I realize we'll both be coming home with college degrees.

Ness is going to hang out with Lillah and Rachel on Saturday, doing whatever it is girls do when they are alone. Since Embry already volunteered to help me movie I ask him, Sam and Paul if they'd be willing to come over to the house and help me out. I still need to finish some of the walls before they can be painted. "We have some overhead lights that need to be installed and I have to finish the tile in the bathroom." I explain. They all seem ok with the plan, Embry piping up with "now you're talking" when I tell them I'll supply pizza and beer.

We end the meeting and I say goodnight to my dad and I'm dialing Ness before I make it to my car. Things are getting blissfully more real and I've never been happier to hear her voice on the other line. She is my life and wherever she goes, I go.


A/N: Remember, if you review without signing in, I can't reply, which I would love to do. And if you are going to be snarky in your anonymous review, don't bother. If you've reviewed, emailed, tweeted, whatever, during this long wait for an update, once again...Thank you times a million. I promised this story would get completed, and it will. Just on my own schedule. I can't predict when I'll update again because I haven't started chapter 21. It won't be a year though, I promise. As for how many chapters we have left in this little story...I'm going to say 'not many'. It's likely Leah will be next.