Mike trotted over to the black Ford Mustang, grinning from ear to ear. He was holding a cardboard box in one hand and a shiny white cell phone in the other. He held the phone out for the Mustang's inspection.
"What do you think, KITT?"
The Mustang remained silent for almost two seconds, scanner lights sweeping slowly as he considered his partner's latest toy. "You have me. Why do you need a cell phone, Mike, when I can do everything it can do, and then some?"
Mike continued to grin. "It's amazing, KITT! The shape, the futuristic design... It can even understand voice commands and reply out loud!"
"Very impressive, I'm sure. I fail to see what purpose it will serve though," KITT said reproachfully.
"You're so silly. Listen to this!" Mike tapped the phone's screen, then spoke, "Hello! How are you doing today?"
"Very well, thank you Mike," the phone replied in a calm female voice which would have set the Mustang's teeth on edge, had he had any.
"I can do that, and you don't need to press a button to make me listen to you," KITT told Mike.
"It needs to save its power," Mike said defensively.
"My point exactly, Mike," KITT agreed.
Mike sat on his bed and considered the cell phone he was holding in his hands. He turned it over slowly, admiring its simplicity and elegance. Suddenly he had an idea.
He tapped the phone's 'talk' button. "Show a me all nearby pizza places."
"Three found nearby," the phone replied in its pleasant voice, displaying a list on its screen.
"Tell Sarah we can't go out to dinner this week. I have to go on an undercover mission," Mike commanded.
"Wrote message to Sarah, 'we can't go out to dinner this week. I have to go on an undercover mission' Should I send?" the phone told him.
Mike deleted the message. There was no reason to be overly abrupt about getting rid of their plans to go on a date, and he still had to test KITT.
"Will you marry me?" he asked the phone, wondering why he had just asked that particular question the moment it was out of his mouth. Oh well.
"We hardly know each other, Mike. Maybe we should wait," it replied.
Mike walked over to KITT, this time without the phone.
"Show me all nearby pizza places," he commanded.
"Going to a pizza place will make us start our next mission late," KITT told him, letting a list of pizza restaurants appear on his hood so Mike could see them without getting in the car.
Mike sighed. "You're right, we'd better not. Tell Sarah we can't go out to dinner this week. I have to go on an undercover mission."
"Message sent. Sarah isn't going to be pleased," commented the helpful Mustang.
"No, she won't. I hope she won't be too disappointed."
"Sarah may not be happy, but she'll understand," KITT said reassuringly.
"Will you marry me?" asked Mike.
"Mike," KITT said, almost sounding exasperated, "would you please stop testing me against your cell phone?"
Two weeks later, Mike hated his phone. The charm of having a talking computer that could fit in his pocket was wearing off rapidly, leaving behind only a frustrated realization that anything this phone could do, his car could do better. Heck, this piece of garbage misunderstood him well over a quarter of the time unless he was very careful to only use sets of words it understood.
"You know, I think that phone is useless," KITT commented.
"Agreed," sighed Mike. He set down the phone in front of KITT's right front tire, then stepped back.
"Does this mean that you are done with your phone, Mike?"
Mike nodded, smiling slightly.
KITT rolled forward. There was a small crunch.
Smart phones are wonderful things. They can be invaluable assistants, and if you're desperate, the talking ones can be friends. They shall take over nearly every household someday thanks to their portability and versatility.
But even as mighty a weapon as the smart phone can't stand against the wrath of a jealous supercar.
I have no idea why I felt like writing this. The idea just popped into my head yesterday. I'm sure it's happened to you once or twice.
I would have written this story with Two Thousand and Michael as the main characters, but I just couldn't imagine a fifty-something year old Michael Knight still being with KITT and getting a smart phone. It just seemed ...weird. Plus I like the new KITT and Mike enough to not mind writing about them.
I hope you enjoyed this story!