A/N: Hey guys! I had wanted to get this uploaded last night, in honor of our dear Potions Master's birthday, but the site was down, which many of us were not happy about if Facebook was any indication. So, tonight will have to do instead. Better late than never, right? I hadn't intended for this to be humorous, but when i went back and went through it, it kinda seemed it. Oh well. Please enjoy it anyway.

This fic is dedicated to the wonderful and amazing Severus Snape. Despite being a fictional character, thousands of people all over the world love you and celebrate your birthday. Happy Birthday Sev! We love you.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for a signed copy of John Green's new book The Fault In Our Stars, which came out today!


The final bell of the day rang, yet the students did not move to leave their seats. Their heads turned towards their teacher, one Professor Severus Snape, who was in a particularly foul mood that day, even for him. The students of his fifth year potions class never left without being dismissed, but Professor Snape was never late in telling them to leave. Except for today, however. The final bell found the professor sitting at his dest, staring off into the distance. His poor students were terrified to say anything to him about the time, but they were all anxiously awaiting for the moment they could leave. After what seemed like hours, but what had only been roughly five minutes, Severus Snape's mind returned to his body with a jerk, and his head whipped around as if noticing the students for the first time.

"Well. What are you all still doing here?" His voice was venomous, poison dripping from every word. "Go. NOW." The last word was shouted, though the man didn't look to have put much effort into it. He looked tired, stressed even. The fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins didn't know what had their Potions Master so on edge, but no one had to tell them twice to leave. They booked it out of there faster than a seeker after a snitch. All of them, except for one. One brave girl, who, mysteriously, knew why the professor was acting so oddly on such an average day. The date was January 9, if she was correct. And correct she was, for Hermione Jane Granger was never wrong.


Severus Snape shut his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a sigh. 'God how I hate this day.'

Hearing the door shut, he assumed that the last student had left and that it was safe for him to relax. But, we know what they say about assuming.

"Granger!" It was said firmly, though not nearly with as much intimidation as he had hoped. 'Bloody hell, what the fuck is she still doing here?'

"Yes, sir?" Hermione had spoken so softly and so politely that it had caught him rather off guard.

"Is there something that I can help you with, Miss Granger?" He spoke through gritted teeth. Something in the back of his mind told him that he would get rid of the girl much faster if he didn't let his temper get the best of him.

"No, Professor, there's nothing you can help me with." She was slowly walking towards him now. "There is, however, something that I think I can help you with." She stopped in front of his desk, her arms crossed in front of her and her head tilted slightly to the side. Severus looked up at her with confusion. 'What the fuck is she going on about? I don't have the time nor the patience to deal with this right now.'

"Granger, speak some sense, would you?" He had let some of his temper slip out, he couldn't help it.

"Today is your birthday, isn't it sir?" There was a sort of cocky glint in her eyes, as though she knew something he didn't.

"It is, Granger, though I don't see how that's any of your business." He was getting slowly getting angrier as the minutes ticked by. 'This fuckin little chit has absolutely no right to delve into my... private... affairs. Wow.' By now he had noticed that her crossed arms were pushing her breasts up in a way that, from his angle, was perfectly delightful. It was nothing new for his students to remove their robes and sweaters in his classroom, as it did get quite hot, but Hermione's tie was loosened quite a bit, and the first few buttons were undone. It took a few moments for him to realize that not only was he staring, but that she had started talking again.

"...aware that it may not be my business, sir, but birthday's are another person's business if the person in question intends to give the person whose birthday it is a gift marking the occasion of their birth." She finished was a smug smirk, thinking she had put him in his place. All Severus could do was stare up at her with a questioning look in his black eyes.

"Use small words, Granger, its been a long day." He sounded tired, and, running a hand through his hair again, chanced another glance at her chest. 'Fuck. Who knew the know-it-all had such nice breasts?' He gave his had a small shake, trying to get back on track. 'Focus, Sev. Stay focused.'

"I want to give you a birthday present." Hermione spoke slowly and clearly, looking into his dark eyes, trying to make sure he understood her. She'd never seen the Potions Master so out of it before.

'Ahh. That's what the witch was getting at. She could've just came out and said it from the start. It would've made things a hell of a lot easier. A present? From her?' He gave a laugh inside his head. 'Oh, this should be good.'

"And what, might I ask, kind of present is it that you shall be gracious enough to bestow upon me, Miss Granger?" Severus reclined back into his chair, positive that he was about to be in for some entertainment. There was absolutely nothing the girl could give him that he would want. 'Well...' His eyes glanced this time not only over just her breasts, but the rest of her body as well, really and truly looking at it for the first time. 'No. No, nothing she could give me.' He, his brain, and his cock, which was now slightly stirring from the sight of the gorgeous young woman, all knew that he was lying.

Hermione gave him a small smirk and reached her hand up to her neck, loosening her tie even more. Her hands dropped down a little to the buttons of her shirt, and she slowly began to undo them. Her eyes hadn't left his, and she was walking around to the back of his desk. Her hands finished and her shirt parted, revealing a Slytherin green lace bra, causing his eyes to widen. Up until now, Severus's eyes had remained impassive. On the inside, however, his blood was boiling and was rushing south. He wasn't capable of very much thought at the moment, so unexpected were Hermione's actions. 'Fuck. I never would've expected the green. Slytherin green. Holy fuck, Hermione fucking Granger, Princess of Fucking Gryffindor, is wearing a Slytherin green bra. Fuck. I wonder... Do the knickers match?'

By now she was one his side of the desk, her shirt on the floor, and her Gryffindor tie still around her neck. She sauntered up to him, and straddled his waist. He must've spoken his last question out loud, because she leaned into him and whispered seductively into his ear, "Under normal circumstances they would. However," Here she paused and licked the outer shell of his ear while simultaneously grinding down onto him. "These aren't normal circumstances, so I'm not wearing any." As if to emphasize her point, she ground down onto him again, feeling his hard erection beneath her. He tried to hold back a groan, still rather unbelieving of this.

Her lips traveled around his ear down to his neck. She began with a few innocent kisses before sinking her teeth into his skin. He let out a full blown groan this time, not even trying to cover it up. Hermione ran her tongue over the bite mark, trying to soothe it, and taking pride in knowing that it would stay there for a few days. She spent a few more moments at his neck, content with kissing and biting, all the while grinding down onto his ever growing cock. Her lips traveled over to his, and lingered just above his mouth. They were barely touching, yet he had to admit the pleasure he derived from it was amazing. 'Holy shit, her lips are soft.' His hands, that had until now remained stationary on the armrests of his chair, came up to cup her face, brushing the hair out of her eyes and threading his fingers into it. 'So is her hair. Fuck. So is her hair. Is there any part of this girl that doesn't feel like a cloud?' Severus pulled her into him, their mouths crashing togehter in a fierce battle of lips, tongues, and teeth.

'She tastes so good.' Within moments Hermione had surrounded her mouth to him, giving him full access to plunder as he pleased. Severus angled her head, trying to get his tongue in her mouth as deep as he could. He kissed her hard and long, both of them struggling for air, but neither wanting to part lips. Hermione was the one to finally break the kiss, pulling back with a gasp. She was breathing heavily, but her lips scarcely left his body. They trailed down over his firm cloth-covered chest, her hands following in their wake. Severus looked down at her, trying desperately to get his rapid breathing under control. The path she was headed on, however, did nothing to help him.

Hermione's mouth had reached his waist, and she pulled back to let her hands take over. Her fingers deftly undid the buttons of his frock coat that covered the lower half of his body, and the fabric parted to reveal a pair of black dress pants that appeared to be in a great deal of distress. Hermione was surprised at how large he seemed, even when he was still confined in his pants. Her hands continued, determined in their quest, and undid the button. Looking up into his lust-filled eyes, Hermione pulled down the zipper. He let out a deep breath of air at that, feeling some relief from the confines of his pants. There was still one more obstacle for them. She almost could've laughed, she should've known. Leave it to Severus Snape, Prince of Darkness, to wear black everything. For everything it was- underneath his black dress pants was a pair of black silk boxers. Still, they made her mouth water. Bringing her eyes once more to his, she brought her hand to the waistband and slipped it underneath. His eyes darkened slightly, his pupils becoming indistinguishable from his irises. Her hand found what it was looking for, and brought it out of his boxers.

The feel of the cold dungeon air hitting his cock shocked him, causing him to gasp. Hermione let out one as well as she laid eyes upon his manhood. He looked wonderful to her. She gripped her hand tighter along him and brought her tongue out to taste the drop of precum that was on the tip. They shut their eyes simultaneously, both experiencing pleasure, though for entirely different reasons. Hermione closed her mouth around his head, sucking him in slightly as she did. He let out a groan, his eyes flying back open, needing to look at her, to see that she was really on her knees before him, her lips wrapped around his cock. She released him to run her tongue along the underside of him, starting at the base, drawing it up to the tip, before repeating the action on the top. She brought him back into her mouth again, running her tongue along his slit as he was inside of her. Her hand began moving around him, stroking and pumping his length. Her checks hollowed out, the suctioned effect making his eyes roll back.

She started moving her mouth lower over him, slowly, so slowly at first that he almost didn't notice. It wasn't until she had over half of him in her mouth that he tried to focus himself on watching her. 'She isn't doing what I think she's... FUCK. She's done it.' Hermione had, for lack of a better term, swallowed that last few inches of him whole. She kept herself remarkably calm for someone who was rapidly running out of oxygen, nuzzling her face against the warm fabric of his clothes, allowing him to just take in the feeling of being completely inside her mouth. When Hermione started to see spots- that weren't from the pleasure of finally going down on her Potions Master- she pulled back, Severus letting out a hiss as his cock was released from the warm recesses of her throat. She looked up at him, and saw her professor gazing down at her with a look of amazement and wide-eyed wonderment on his face.

"Happy Birthday Professor." These words were spoken with a breathlessness to them, and Severus couldn't help but get even more turned on by it. "I'd have brought you a cake, sir, but I didn't have any candles for you to blow out."

"That's quite alright Miss Granger." His voice was rough and hoarse, and he struggled to get the words out in a normal tone of voice. "However, seeing as it is my birthday, instead of me blowing out candles that we do not have, why don't you just blow me instead?" He looked down at her with a slight smirk, surprised at his own words. They were rather childish, but for some strange reason he did not seem to care. All he knew was that he wanted her to continue. Hermione replied to his smirk with one of her own, and shifted her body into a more comfortable position. The air was refilling in her lungs, and she dropped her eyes back to his cock, wanting to focus as much on her task as possible. It was his birthday and dammit, she was going to give him the best blowjob of his life.

Hermione continued on as before, taking his length deep into her throat, her lips nearly touching his actual body. Everytime she would take him in, he would let out a groan, and everytime he was released, a hiss could be heard through his gritted teeth. By now his hands had returned to her head and his fingers were threaded once more in her carmel-colored curls, moving with her as her head bobbed along his cock. Despite the immense pleasure he was feeling, he was a gentlemen to her, and never pushed her back onto him before she was ready, or made her keep him in her mouth longer than she could take. He was almost completely lost to the feeling of his cock being within her, but he was able to tell that she was enjoying this almost as much as she was.

Hermione could feel his sac start to tense up, and his fingers were tightening in her hair. She drew her mouth back, keeping only the first few inches of him in her mouth. Her hand gripped the base of him, and resumed pumping him with a firm grasp. Lips and tongue gliding over his tip, he let out an animalistic groan and came, shooting his come into her mouth. Hermione let out a moan at the taste of his come on her tongue, the vibrations sending another shiver through him. As he came, Hermione made sure to catch every drop of his come in her mouth, not wanting to waste any of his essence. When Severus had calmed down and was able to get his breathing under control, Hermione removed her lips from his cock as carefully as she could and, making sure she had locked eyes with him, swallowed. He let out another groan at that, his spent cock giving a small little twitch.

Licking her lips, Hermione rose from her postion on the floor behind his desk, her knees hurting from being on the rough, cold stone floor for so long. She knew it was worth it though. She put her shirt back on and fixed her tie, allowing her professor a small amount of privacy to get his bearings. Walking over to her desk, she heard the zipper of his pants and the scrape of his chair being pushed back. With her bag over her shoulder and her robes in her arms, she turned to look at him.

"Happy Birthday Severus." He gave a small shiver hearing her say his name, though she was unable to see it. "I hope you enjoyed your present."

Hermione gave him a small smile, a genuine smile, and turned to the door. Her hand was on the doorknob and she was about to open it when he called out to her.


"Yes, sir?" She turned around, startled by the tone of his voice.

"I find myself dissatisfied with my gift." Now, she was confused. He sounded annoyed, angry almost. But his eyes, they looked kind of playful. "In the muggle world, I believe it is custom to give the person an option in the event of such an occurrence." By now he had walked towards her, so close she could feel the heat of his breath on her face. He gave her a smile, not a sneer, not a smirk. "I'd like to return it."

She smiled back.

"Happy Birthday Professor Snape."