This isn't a story of happy endings, the story of a blossoming girl into a young woman. This is the story of a young girl losing herself because of the horrid life she has to endure each day. This isn't a story of falling in love; it's a story with love, friends, hurt, betrayal ups and down. This is a story of never getting what you want while fighting to survive.


Diary,

Today was a good day. I got to go back to school, I love school, I have friends there! Well at least they pretend to be my friend, sometimes they look at me weird though, like they don't understand me. Which is silly I'm just like they are…except I am a little spacy, and I do say funny things. Still they like me…it feels good to be liked because I like them too. They are nice people, nice to be my friends. I'm not supposed to have friends, that what I've been told my whole life. But I do have friends, and I got invited to a movie night at Tori's! It'll be so much fun diary. I can't wait.

Love, Cat.

The petite red head closed the leathery diary, a slight smile on her face as she slipped off of her bed, the comforter was pink with a giant cupcake on the front of it. Childlike, but there was a reason Cat liked all this childish things; she never got to have a childhood, she was forced to grow up and take on a responsibility that most kids shouldn't have to deal with, she was supposed play dress up and have tea parties with cupcakes and fake tea. Cat Valentine didn't get to have that in her childlike years, so she experienced now. She lived through a fantasy world, it was her safe place.

Shaking her head, getting away from the thoughts of her past she brought herself back to the reality of the life she lived. The life where she could hear her parents fighting down stairs at this very moment, her brother in the room across the hall blaring music to drown out the sounds of their arguing. They always fought, sometimes it was about nothing at all, sometimes it was about Cat, and sometimes it was completely silent, words weren't being spoken, but there was still a fight beneath Cat's feet.

Looking down at her watch the smile on her face brightened, it was time for her to head over to Tori's house. She was happy to be getting away from the chaos of her house. No one knew what went on beneath the Valentine's roof, and Cat was going to make sure it would stay that way; she didn't want her parents to get into any trouble, though sometimes they deserved it.

The scattered brained 18 years old tucked her diary under mattress before gathering up her phone and purse. Cat was dolled up in the normal Cat way. Usually at school or when she went out she got dressed up; cute shoes, adorable outfits and every strained of hair laying in its place, with a layer of makeup painted on her face. Tonight she hadn't bothered to dress up, tonight her red velvet colored hair was in a ponytail, she had on a light layer of eyeliner and mascara, and her outfit of choice was baggy grey sweat pants and an off the shoulder yellow t-shirt. She slipped on a pair of sandals and then walked out of her room and down the stairs where the yelling had momentarily stopped.

'Just get to the door Cat, don't say anything just get to the door.'

Her thoughts had come too late, her pleading was no good because once she had stepped onto the landing she had two hands on her shoulders, the hands grinding hard into her shoulders as she was shoved against the wall by the front door. "Where do you think you're going little missy? Hm?" Cat's mother stood there, pounding her back against the wall, fury in her eyes and the smell of alcohol on her breath. "Answer me!" BAM! Cat's mother laid a hard slap across her face, Cat's eyes welled with tears "Mom please just let me go out with my friends." Cat pleaded to leave, pleaded for her mother to loosen her grip, but her mother wouldn't release, her mother only pounded her harder against the wall, Cat could feel the picture rattling above her head. "You have no friends, you're pathetic you know that. Who'd want to be friends with the likes of you. You only cause problems. You're the reason for all this fighting." Her mother was right in her face, screaming at her, blaming her for all the problems, placing the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Another slam against the wall.

Then fate, came knocking at the door, well actually ringing. The doorbell rang and a sigh of relief washed over Cat.

'Thank you.'

This thought of relief washed over her as she heard a familiar voice calling Cat's name on the other side of the door. "C-Coming." Cat looked at her mother who had a look of disgust on her face. Her mother pulled her lips back into a snarl before spitting right into Cat's face. "Get out of here you useless piece of shit. And don't you dare come home tonight." With on last threat Cat's mother took Cat by the hair and pushed her to the door before walking off into the kitchen surely to poor another glass of rum.

Cat took a moment to compose herself, wiping her mother's spit from her face and gathering a smile to her face. She couldn't let her friends see her this way, she couldn't let them in on her home life.

A new smile was planted on her face, the thoughts of abuse gone as she opened the door to see Beck standing there a smile on his own face. "Well hey little red, finally opened the door for me." Beck chuckled for a moment before wrapping his arm around his friend in a welcoming hug. "Ready for movie night?"

Cat nodded enthusiastically returning the hug before stepping out of her house, closing the door behind her. "Where's Jade?" Cat looked towards Beck's car but saw not sign of his girlfriend and her best friend.

"Grounded." Beck shrugged as he walked Cat to his car, smiling as he opened the door for her.

"Thank you." Cat giggled and got into the car, staring back out the window at the house hoping her brother would be safe. Beck pulled her from those thoughts as he started the car and pulled away from the house, music blaring through the speakers as he drove off towards Tori's house. He had no idea what had just happened inside the hell Cat had to go back to night after night and for now she didn't want to think about going back, she just wanted to think about going to be with her friends, where she was forever safe.

Please review, I can't write another chapter if no one tells me they want it. Please let me know honest feelings. If you have any questions about it, ask away. Overall though, I hoped you enjoyed this first chapter, let me know if a second one is requested.


A/N: This story is going to have very mature content, dealing with abuse mentally and physically. This isn't going to be a happy story with a lot of happy endings. It's going to be very heavy, but it is going to stay true to the characters. Cat will have a darker side but it gives the explanation for why she is so spacy. If you can't handle this type of story please don't read it, it will be graphic. Now yes I do tend to make it lean towards Beck and Cat so there will be some romance. Just remember this is not a topic to make light on, it is showing the dangers of what abuse can do, I do not support abuse, but I am showing the dark affects that it has. If anyone needs to talk to me or have opinions on this story's topic feel free to PM me but be at caution reading please. Thank you so much

-Beth