Chapter one


"Behold I Kettei, shall help save the world, that is the only way my parents will love me." I girl with black hair and a jacket with fur cuffs yelled.

"I didn't want to even come here, but my parents moved me to the dog house since I'm such a failure...damn it Spot you better not be messing up my room.

The girl then looked around at the beautiful night lit valley.

"So, how can I help save this world so my parents will love me again." Kettei then looked over the side of the cliff and took a deep breath.

"Guns, check, age six-teen, check, beautiful singing voice...Laaaaa, double check." Kettei then cackled over the side of the cliff with little care for safety.

"Now, didn't the script say that a brown haired chick and red haired dude was suppose to be here?" Kettei said as the tip of her toes dangled over the side of the hill.

"Yeah this is Tataroo valley alright, damn it let's just hurry up and start!" Kettei stomped her foot, which was pretty dumb considering she was standing over, but then again she is a loser.

Her footing crumbled as she staggered, in an instant she started falling.

"(Wow, I'm going to die before I even fight anyone.)" Kettei said to herself as she realized she was being taken out on the word go, but what did you expect from a loser.

Her life flashed before her eyes, don't worry we'll only see the stuff important for the plot.

One year earlier.

Somewhere on earth

"I'm hoooommmmme." A scream similar to a harpy echoed through the halls of the house as Kettie entered.

"Oh it's you." A woman sighed as if she was expecting someone else.

"Oh mom, I love how you say that with a hint of hatred." Kettie said oblivious to the surrounding hatred.

"I thought we left you stranded in the desert." A man most likely Kettie dad added.

"Yeah, that was some crazy joke, I'm going to talk to Idai now." Kettei smiled as she walked up the steps.

She looked at the door to her younger sister room, plain as it could be, Kettei slowly opened the door.

Kettei noticed Idai sitting at her computer, most likely talking to one of her friends.

The eleven year old slowly turned her chair as her eye's widened.

"Big sis! You're alive!" Idai jumped up and hugged her sister.

"Duh, mom and dad just played a joke on me, no big deal." Kettei chuckled as Idai frowned.

"They don't treat you right..." Idai had a hint of pain in those words as Kettei laughed.

"Nonsense, they love me, anyway you should be careful about who you talk to online, sickos might be on." Kettei joked as she let out a small yawn.

"Welp, I'm going to my awesome bed made for the awesome me." Kettei smiled as Idai sighed.

"I know you cry yourself to sleep." Idai said in a rather blunt tone as Kettei looked flabbergasted.

"W-what! Only a loser would cry themselves to sleep." Kettei pointed out.

"But...Kettei you are a loser." Idai a stated as Kettei snapped her fingers.

"No worries, even if you are the biggest loser in the world, I still love you." Idai laughed.

"Man, I just need to have Mom and Dad say those words and I'm set." Kettei pointed her fist to the ceiling as Idai looked down.

"Kettei...Mom and Dad don't love you." Idai said as Kettei shook her head.

"Yeah they do, they only stopped when I failed to protect you." Kettei said.

"But, that was my fault." Idai added.

"Nonsense, you were talking to someone online and promised to meet them, but then that person turned out to be a sicko." Kettei said as she retold a familiar story.

"Yeah, I thought something really bad was going to happen, but then you showed up." Idai smiled.

"Sure did, that sick kicked my ass for three hours straight, but it distracted him long enough for the police to come, even if Mom and Dad blame me for what happened, anyway good night, I'll be going to my dog house now." Kettei smiled.

"I wish you could sleep inside, Spot isn't as fun to be around."

"I wish I could...I wish I could."

Present day

"Is she still alive?" A voice asked

"I dunno, if she's not then I call first dibs on her eyes." another voice ranged.

Kettei slowly opened her eyes and saw a sight...something familiar to a blue ball.

"Where am I?" Kettei asked as she slowly lifted herself from the ground.

"You're in Fubras river, though I doubt a human like you could understand me." A monster known as a Polwigle said.

"No I can understand you...that's what scares me." Kettei said as she sat up.

"Holy peanut, this gal can understand monsters, maybe that hit on your head was stronger then a thought, or maybe you've gone insane and just imagining all of this, you look like the kind of loser that would do that." The Polwigle added.

"Do you know who I am! I am-" Kettei was cut off.

"A loser who washed up here." The Polwigle then sighed.

"Sorry guys this chick is still alive, we can't eat her." With those words a large crowned of blue boiling balls shouted.

"Aw, what!"

"This stinks."

"You suck!"

"Well as you can see, you would have been more useful dead." As the Polwigle said those words as Ketteis eye twitched.

"You have a smart little mouth don't you...oh god I'm talking to a monster you find in children games." Kettei held her head in denial.

"Well you owe me since we saved your life, I mean your head was busted open pretty bad, blood was every where, I swore the rivers would be running red by now, I never knew a living organism could have so much blood in their bodies." Kettei stopped the blue puff ball before he continued.

"I get it, but I don't have time for this, I need to help save this world so my parents will love me!" Kettei yelled taking out her two guns.

"You, save the world...gahahahah, that's a funny joke." The Polwigle laughed before he realized Kettei was serious.

"You know, that's even funnier, GAHAHAHAH!" The Polwigle laughed harder.

"You done?" Kettei asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Yeah, but I don't think you're really the kind of person that saves a world, you more of the type that dies and no one gives a crap about." The Polwigle then hopped a bit.

"If you're that serious about it, then you can start by helping us get rid of this gator that's being an ass." The Polwigle said as Kettei smirked.

"Ha, a gator, child's play, I'll show it the true power of Kettei!" The black haired girl then cheered as the Polwigle smiled.

"Plus if you fail, we get to eat you!" The blue beast the jumped up.

"Gee thanks."

End notes

Kettei's current title.


One who is born unlucky, you are living proof that some people are just more special then others, hey look at it this way, maybe you'll die a quick death.

Author notes

I decided to try my hand at a comedy, but this is more of a beta, so please review to let me know if I should continue this