Note: Hehehe well I couldn't resist to write another short story...well sort of as this story contains two parts so please be patient with me here. Anyway here is my sixth story, of my favourite Resident Evil pairing (I don't count my two poems as stories...obviously hehe...they are poems for goodness sake!). So here I go with another attempt to create another romantic story...enjoy reading...

PS: I don't own these characters! Capcom does alright!

Oh I would like to say that I wrote this story thanks to inspiration from two stories: Kiss in the Dark by Pancoon and Two Sides of the Moon by nocturnalRAT18. I also saw a lovely portrait of Jill Valentine on deviantart, it was so lovely that this person created her glamourously perfect. The features I somehow picked up and tried to describe on my own when...errr hehehe maybe I should let you figure it out.

But anyway here I present you my story :)


Why Love Me Now?

Part One

Plot: Jill has confessed her feelings towards her loyal, hardworking Captain, unfortunately he doesn't return those feelings for her, causing her to become very upset and broken inside...that was three years ago... once again on another Christmas Week, at the Christmas Eve ball he all of a sudden asks her for a dance... she declines at first but then later on she accepts the second time he asks so somehow she tries to enjoy herself by going along with it...but during the event she feels heavily wounded of the fact he rejected her...so when the clock ticks midnight after she slaps him...she leaves...much later at night he shows up at her house, wanting to speak with her...but in her heart, she doesn't feel the need to show him love...unless if there is something that can convince her to remain hopeful to fall in love again...someday...

December 2006

Jill knocked three times on the door that led to her Captain's office. The air was slightly cold despite it from being a warm, bright glowing lit afternoon outside. She sighed, knowing that Christmas was almost approaching once again...she wasn't particularly interested to celebrate the occasion. It wasn't her type of thing...though she had always spent Christmas Day, home alone, drinking cups of hot coffee and munching on boxes of chocolates. When the big day arrived, she stayed in bed all day, not daring to go outside and be surrounded by a whole blanket of clean, pure white of snow, coating every part of Raccoon City: Buildings, Cars and every part of Mother Nature.

She didn't get a response after she knocked and so bravely she knocked on his door again...finally...this time she heard his voice.

"Come in!" is what she heard...the tone sounded stern and unwelcoming...she asked herself if it was the right time to even mention these growing feelings she had for him...it couldn't be that bad if she told him...right?...she was well known for being confident and bold to speak her mind or taking on a difficult task that was set up by her Captain. Obviously the others such as Brad, Chris or Barry didn't dare to stand up to him. Their Captain...the strong, cold and silent Captain of S.T.A.R.S. Albert Wesker, wasn't one to question or disobey. The one main punishment was one heap of pile of paperwork. Sometimes he would send them to run around the station three times...five laps if they didn't learn their lesson. He obviously didn't care if they were in any pain...whether it was minor or major. He would consider them purely weak.

Not Jill though as she always did as she was told and sure that managed to ease a bit of tension out of him. He did often smile warmly around her, which was a huge surprise for them all as he...well never ever did smile around anyone. No one could do that but somehow the one woman...the youngest member of that S.T.A.R.S. team had managed to do so. In a joking manner...although sometimes it did aim to be cruel...they considered her as his "One Favourite Girl" or "Teacher's Pet". Indeed Captain Wesker did tell them to lay off the absolute rubbish talk of an employee having a silly crush on her leader...or in other words it was dreadfully impossible to even exist in the workplace...of course Jill was quite hurt by his words...once she did consider it to be true...how could a young, beautiful girl like herself and a strikingly, handsome older man like him fall in love? They deserved the right to be in love with someone their own age...but somehow Jill couldn't help that she may have felt something more for him...when a few months went by, those thoughts of hers still kept bugging her...but more gently encouraging her to face what is true to her heart.

With a shaky hand, she gripped the dull, golden door knob, twisting it slowly and carefully she swung the door to the side.

Jill had stepped through the doorway and here in front of her was her Captain, sitting diligently behind his desk, a few papers, gripped in between his black gloved fingers. His dark shades, directing on her. His lips, a tight line...though it soon turned to a small smile when he saw her.

"Ahh Valentine, how nice of you to drop by...is something wrong?" he asked her gently

"Ummm no sir...it's just well I would...like to talk with you..." she said nervously "Well actually it's situated on something that is kind of...personal..."

"Personal? Is it Redfield or Frost discussing you and I again?" he sighed and he gestured for her to take the seat that was positioned in front of his desk.

"No...ummm...it's something...I have been wanting...to...ummm..." said Jill...she was definitely nervous...was she really going to spit it out? Jill walked slowly to the seat and then sat down on it. She crossed her hands over her legs...her fingers slightly twitching...

"Come on Valentine...surely it can't be that bad if it's not either of the men downstairs..." said Captain Wesker, adjusting his shades a bit as it was resting on the tip of his perfectly straight nose.

"Well..." Jill began

"Yes..." Captain Wesker waited for her to continue...she surprised that he was acting so calmly patient with her...as most of the time if neither member couldn't give an immediate answer to him, he would be...obviously snappy and frustrated to see how stupid that not one person could begin with a simple sentence to what they wanted to say. Was it because she was a woman? Because of the way she worked hard just like him?

"Have I been unkind to you Valentine?" he asked her after a few moments of silence.

"No sir...you haven't...you been nothing but respectful and modest around me...I appreciate that every day" said Jill

"Well glad to hear of that Valentine..."

"There is something I have been wanting to tell you..." she said slowly...she had to be steady...no prepared of the words she had been wanting to say to him...it had been buzzing in her mind, just wanting to get out...it irritated her greatly as she always ignored that deep urge to reveal these sincere feelings she had for him. Even though it was wrong because she was only 24 and he was 36 but it just looked as though that they were perfect for one another. He didn't look old enough to be around that age. Not one bit of him was coming close to fade to pale, wrinkly skin. He definitely looked like he was around her age...maybe a year or two older. That would have been alright...but right now this was more seriously realistic as they were not close to each other's age. It would consequent immediately to heated disapproval and perhaps jealousy. Some of the guys like Chris, Joseph or Brad did have a fascination over Jill, but she truly had no desire to be with someone who wasn't hardworking but rather cocky, ignorant or egotistic...overall just acting like a stubborn, whining child wanting things his/her way. That was why her focus to get attention was on their own blond haired Captain who always had his frickin midnight shades on...no matter what type of day it was. She often felt girly shy or silly whenever he was around...and apparently he didn't seem to mind. It was only a matter of seeing if...he was...feeling the same way as her.

"So you wish to tell me something...well what is it?" asked Captain Wesker, still in that gentle tone.

"Errr...well...it's just...just...that I...I...I...I-"said Jill but then she was interrupted when he spoke again.

"Valentine, please I don't have much time to chat with you, it must be quick as I am to have a meeting soon elsewhere-" of course this time, she interrupted by revealing her feelings for him...even though somewhere it wasn't going to meet on what she expected...

"I like you!" she said, looking up at him with little hope

"What?"

"I like you...sir..."

He chuckled and then said "It's good that you do Valentine and I do like you as well-"but again she interrupted him.

"No sir...I mean as in...I like you...very much...but more than you just being a Captain to me...I really do like you..." oh she could feel her heart pounding hard...waiting for an answer from him...

"Oh..." was all he said, and then he placed his head down, shaking in a more negative way.

Jill's heart was pounding fast...knowing that he wasn't going to...

"Valentine..." he said slowly after a few more silence between them and then he raised his head up to look at her...now he wasn't smiling at her...oh great...

"I am sorry...but I don't feel that way about you...it is impossible...of course you are a very lovely, attractive young girl but...I can't...it won't be right...you know what the others will think..."

"But sir...I...I don't care...age does not matter to me...those that work with us...let them think what they think...I just...thought...I could...make it clear to you...that you always have someone to...to turn to...if you ever feel alone or something..." Jill looked down deeply disappointed of his words that sharply pinned rejection towards her innocent heart. She soon felt the tears rising within her blue, sapphire eyes...not wanting to believe that this was all real but just a silly dream...unfortunately it wasn't...

"I appreciate that Valentine...but it can never happen between us...how can it? You deserve to be with someone who is very much your age...the same with me...we will be happy with whoever we end up...I am very sorry but...I just cannot return these affections to you" he said tenderly "Please try to understand that"

"Very well...sir..." she said and then two tears, dropped down onto her pant covered legs and immediately she ripped herself away from the chair, running to the door and closing it fiercely behind her. She ran along the almost dark corridor, every door she looked at was closed...she and her Captain were the last to leave but right now he was going to be on his own as she couldn't stand another minute longer being anywhere in this building with him...she ran straight back to her office, furiously grabbing hold of her brown coat and black leather handbag and continued carrying on running till she reached the main doors in the ground floor.

Of course she had no transportation to get back home...so all she could do was run to the bus stop that was further down from the Raccoon Police Department. As soon as she reached there, she sat down on the wooden bench, sitting down on it and sobbed heavily...leading to a point that she couldn't stop at all. She never felt so sad like this before...why wasn't she worthy of his love? Ok so she was young but that wasn't of a big deal to her...but for him it was...she wished that she could hit him...she refused to be in love with someone her own age...that she made it clear to herself when she was surrounded by the other guys in the R.P.D. None of them ever made it to her preferable taste of men. She was angry that her Captain, was the first one...never once did he look old to her or even to the others...but it just...completely frustrated her. She wished he never existed.

She was grateful when a bus had pulled on the side fifteen minutes later, opening the doors for her to enter. Straightaway she rose up, wiped her face from the tears that flowed down and hopped up the stairs to the bus...

For another few long minutes on the bus ride home, she had placed herself at the very back seat, leaning her head against the faintly smeared window, but it wasn't long when a few more tears escaped from her eyes...even though she had not finished her shift at the station, she simply didn't care...as she had told herself before she didn't want to be anywhere near him. No way, it was not because he rejected her...but it was the fact that he couldn't feel the same way about her without giving a frickin damn of the negative reactions from the familiar crowd of people they were hugely acquainted with...mattered to her the most.

By 5:00pm, she arrived home, twisting the key twice and easily allowing her entry. She opened the door and closed it quickly...locking it in place. She walked down the hallway to her bedroom, dumping both her handbag and coat on the bed, and slowly descended down to the carpet floor to remove her black work boots. She then proceeded to remove her S.T.A.R.S. uniform, beret and shoulder pads stubbornly and walked straightaway to her bathroom for a long, decent and soothing warm shower.

She came out of there by 7:00pm, dressed in a thin strapped silk royal blue short night gown, which had a lace end just above her firm, slender thighs. She drew the big white duvet out of her double bed so that she could climb in. Once she did, she wrapped it tightly around her body, turning to one side, hoping that she will fall asleep at any moment...but tears started to water within her eyes and trickle down, slightly tickling her skin...but she didn't care and so she turned her head deeply to her pillow, sobbing quite out loud.

When the clock struck to 11:00pm...she finally drifted off to sleep...

Five weeks later...

Things became much worse for her when she and the others found out that Captain Wesker found himself a partner. A woman who was very much his age. Delilah Featherstone. She was intoxicatingly breathtaking, with long blond hair that was in elegant curls and locks and green eyes that sparkled with deep seduction...they were very much like the eyes of a cat. She was gracefully slim and had soft skin...the shade exactly the same as his. She heard from the guys, that the Captain had met her when he was having dinner at a luxurious, posh restaurant with a few high superior officers. She was dining there too with her huge, rich family. Jill saw her one Monday afternoon, watching the woman walk perfectly like a glamorous model towards his office. The woman obviously didn't glance in her direction as she had passed Jill's office. She soon faintly heard the door close... for awhile she carried on typing away on her computer until...she heard the sounds of pleasurable moaning and sighing...it made her very sick...so sick that she wanted to vomit...oh the nerve of him to show love while no one but her was around...was he purposely trying to make her jealous?

"Ugh!" Jill thought angrily "I want to frickin kill him!"

Again she rose up, switching off her computer, knowing that she had heard enough of the sexy noises they were making a few doors down. It was truly killing her...was suicide ever a good way of escaping from all of this? To end her misery permanently? No, she knew that she was being a coward and so she gathered her things, closing her office door behind her and marched heavily towards the main doors to go home...

It was so heartbreaking to watch him with Delilah whenever she stopped by at the R.P.D. to see him, she couldn't stand to be near him or her. She couldn't have one, quiet and pleasant lunch in the main cafeteria also in the ground floor. Though one time she attempted to when the cafeteria was empty...until suddenly she saw him, though he walked past her and sat down near a bench further away. A few minutes later, Delilah showed up walking past her too to go to the bench where Captain Wesker was. She saw her lean over towards him, planting a sweet, loving kiss on his lips.

That certainly did it for her and straightaway she rose up and left...luckily they didn't see her go...but someone else did...Barry was sitting down on another bench, sipping onto his hot cup of coffee, shaking his head.

"Oh Captain...haven't you realized how much you have hurt Jill..." he thought

Three years later...

December 2009 Christmas Eve 8:00am

Jill Valentine, aged 27 was still single, but of course she absolutely chose not to care of the fact... but she still remained heartbroken of her Captain's cold and distant behaviour towards her in the last few years...he strictly only discussed work matters with her...at least he didn't mention of that certain incident where she had revealed her feelings for him...oh boy did it cause her frustration to spiral out of control within, though she didn't dare to speak out in anger in front of him...as now it wasn't worth it...maybe she will find someone to love...who was she kidding? She wasn't...she didn't dare look at the other guys...turning to them for love...but if she was truthful with herself...it would only be for lust...not love...and that to her was terribly wrong. She wanted love...from him...but like he said it was impossible...and it could never happen.

She stretched her arms out wide and yawned gently to another Christmas Eve day...another painfully lonely Christmas Eve day. Jill pulled the duvet to one side, placing her feet on the floor and stood up slowly. Strangely she wasn't feeling woozy or drained...so she walked towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her to take a half an hour shower before heading off to the station...there was something she remembered and that was that everyone was allowed to wear what they like since the holidays were coming up and they were all due back at the beginning of February.

Once she had finished her shower she pulled on a pair of dark black skinny jeans and a long sleeved strawberry pink skivvy. She tied her soft, long brown hair that had almost reached her buttocks (Excuse me for saying that hehe but I am not being rude about a woman alright!) into a low neat ponytail. She then pulled on a pair of mid length black leather boots, that had straight black laces and silver buckles which she patiently tied up to make the boots stay perfectly on her feet. She sprayed some perfume on her neck using the clear purple bottle that was left on her dressing table near her bed and then walked her way along the hallway to collect her long, black coat, handbag and house key.

She skipped having a coffee; fully knowing that she wasn't in the mood to either drink or eat...her mind was set to finishing the paperwork that she didn't get around to complete last week.

Once she collected the required items, she opened her front door, closing her door once she had fully stepped out into the cool air morning. It was not snowing badly as it always had been in the last three years.

"Strange..." she thought and then went down the stairs. She raised her hand in the air when she saw a taxi that was heading towards her direction. Indeed the taxi did stop, pulling over to the side for her to get in.

Twenty minutes later...

Jill soon arrived at the R.P.D. sincerely thanking the driver and wishing him a happy Christmas and New Year. The kind, elderly man wished her the same Christmas greeting and slowly drove on to pick up the next passenger.

She came by through the main doors, not looking around for anyone familiar but headed immediately towards her office on the second floor...

10:00am

Jill carried on working loyally away to get the paperwork done. It seemed that she didn't get around to most of the documents that were piled up in the pale brown folders, passing her computer screen on her desk. When about ten or fifteen minutes passed, she heard someone knocking on the door outside. Her fingers came to a stop on the keyboard and her heart also stopped for a few seconds. She remained silent...listening carefully to whoever wanted to see her.

"Jill...it's me Barry, can I come in?"

Jill slowly breathed a sigh of relief when she rose up from her leather swing seat and walked forward to open the door to greet him. When she swung the door open to the side, she smiled gratefully at him and stepped aside so he could come by.

"Hey Barry..." she said cheerfully

"How's it going Jill? Are you going to the Christmas Eve Ball?" he asked her in that same tone of voice.

"What?" Jill asked confused, with a little amused laugh

"Didn't you get an invitation?" asked Barry, confused himself

"Oh umm...yes I did...but I don't think I want to go..." said Jill...slowly she was becoming serious at his words.

Last week, Jill received an invitation to attend a ball that was to happen around 7:00pm in the evening on Christmas Eve. Two things straightaway came into her mind. One: How the hell was she going to get there? And Two: What the hell was she going to wear?...oh wait there was a third: And who the hell was she going to go with?, well the answer to that was simple. No one! It wasn't like she wasn't interested to go...in fact she never had been interested in attending really fancy and sophisticated events like this...it was the first time that had occurred for the year.

"Oh don't you want to?" asked Barry, slightly disappointed

"Not really...I don't really like the idea on dressing up like a princess and mysteriously showing up on a frickin elegant carriage and expect prince charming to be waiting for me inside at the foot of the stairs..." said Jill, laughing at her light joke

"You never know on what could happen tonight Jill..." Barry offered

"Mmmm sorry Barry but I am not going" said Jill quite firmly

"Why not? Is it because of Captain Wesker?"

Jill froze at the sound of his name...but that made her sigh out in deep disgust.

"No it's not because of him...I just don't want to go" she replied

"Jill...I know how you felt about him...and I am sorry that he hurt you..."

"Wait...you knew..."

"Of course I did...I saw the way you walked out when that woman, Delilah kissed him...it made me think about those times who were so friendly and caring towards him...it's understandable Jill that you are in love with him...I am not against that...it is the same with the others too"

"What?"

"We all had a feeling that you felt something more for him...only he is too damn selfish and heartless to know that you are one special and beautiful girl that deserves true love...Chris understands too..."

"I can't believe I am hearing this...but I don't think I feel that way about him as I did those few years ago...I just can't go back to that feeling again...I..."

"Jill, it's alright...you don't have to go because of him...but you can always come with us...we'll keep you company throughout the night..."

"Thanks Barry...but I don't want to go...I am sorry..." said Jill sadly but she gave him a soft smile.

12:00pm

Jill had finished the last remaining paperwork and reluctantly she knew she had to go to her Captain's office to submit them all. So with a brave deep breath she walked towards the door that lead to his office once again.

She knocked politely and she indeed heard his calm voice "Come in".

She swung the door to the side and saw him with his back turned to her. He was wearing a white long sleeved turtleneck sweater and matching colour pair of jeans. He also wore a pair of polished white gentlemen shoes. He turned to look at her. The dark shades of his centred directly on her.

"Hello Captain, I have come to bring these to you" said Jill, holding out the folder that contained all the final, neat copies of the draft reports.

"Oh hello Jill...thanks for that" said Captain Wesker, taking the folder from her soft grasp and placing it down on his desk. Did he just call her by her first name? She clearly heard it...but wondered if he noticed...probably not...then he turned to face her but she had just stepped into the doorway, her hand already on the door knob to exit.

"Have a good Christmas sir..." she said quietly and before she could close the door on him she heard him speak.

"Jill wait!" he said

Jill still kept her hand still firmly on the door knob and she had her head hung down really low, unable to meet his intense gaze...it was quite intimidating to her.

"Jill, look at me please" said Captain Wesker...strangely his voice...sounded warm...and pleading...but she dismissed the idea, shaking her head a little bit.

"Sir...I am...tired...I would like to go home please..." she said, also pleadingly but truthfully she was feeling the need to sleep.

"Before you do, I would like to ask you something" he said, taking a step or two closer to her.

"Yes sir?" she said unenthusiastically. Great, what could it be? Being the "Best Man" for his upcoming wedding or be a suitable candidate to have a child on their behalf so that he and Delilah can start up a rich, happy family life?

"Are you attending the Christmas Eve Ball?" asked Captain Wesker...oh so it wasn't either of those things that were crunching painfully in her mind...so she relaxed...a bit...but not fully as now she didn't feel like talking with him.

Jill took a deep breath, even though she didn't want to answer him... but she knew she had to.

"No sir..." she said in a low, gentle voice

"Why not?" he asked

"It's not my kind of thing to go to sir..."

"I see...can I ask why?"

"I just...just don't want to go, sir"

"Is it because you don't have a partner?"

"No...it's not that at all, sir..."

"Well, what if I asked you to go with me?"

Jill suddenly snapped her head up, not caring of the fact that his face was very well close to hers. She looked shocked to hear on what he had just said.

"Ummm...I...I can't sir..."

"I am not with Delilah...if that's what you're worried about..."

"No sir...I...what?"

"Delilah and I are no longer together"

"I am sorry, sir" Truly she was but her heart was piercing with a deep stinging pain...but he just asked her out? Why?...but she knew that she couldn't accept the offer to accompany him...he already hurt her enough...

"I'm not..."

Why did he say that? She thought he was happy with Delilah...well apparently not now...but that didn't mean that he would have to expect her to have that certain feeling for him those three years ago...it was too late...right?

"I am sorry Captain...but I don't want to go with you...but thanks for asking me..." she said in a small, shaky voice.

"Jill...forgive me for hurting you...I was wrong...I know I said that it was impossible for us to be together...but right now...I don't care..." he said, sounding pleadingly

"It's alright Captain...but...I think...it will not be possible for me to like you like I used to...I am afraid I cannot feel it in my heart to go back to that...feeling...it's no use...I am sorry" then two tears escaped from her blue eyes and when he lifted up a finger to wipe one tear away she pulled back, taking a few steps back away from him, letting the door knob go from her hand.

"Jill...please...I am sorry..." said Captain Wesker but then he watched her speed away and going back to her office, hearing the door slam fiercely.

She couldn't take it! Why now? Why did he care about her all of a sudden? He said all those things...those dreadful few years ago...that were definitely true to her...she believed every word of it...she was deeply heartbroken and confused of what to feel the most...why was he realizing this big mistake he made...ugh!

When she gathered her personal items and stepped out into the corridor, she looked to her left to see that his office door had closed. She closed hers from behind and...immediately ran for the main doors to get a bus all the way home...


Note: Part Two is next, hope you will enjoy it even more. Thanks for reading Part One :)