Author's note: One shot. Chiles' hidden feelings for Beau. Pre movie/movie time.
FIRST attempt at writing in English. Be gentle.
It wasn't supposed to happen like that because he wasn't supposed to say the things he did and they sure weren't supposed to make me feel this way.
Feelings. For him. I've been having them secretly hidden since the day we've met. I wasn't supposed to fall for him quicker that I heard him speak and yet I did. Fell. In his eyes I was the fallen one before I even spread my wings. He was all about honesty and truth and for him I was just another fake fame wannabe who wanted to shine.
Oh I shined. I shined every time he looked at me and every time his words were pointed at my direction. They hurt for most of the time. Piercing thought my heart like a sword and yet all I was able to do was smile back. This I couldn't resist. I couldn't resist him.
So is he a keeper? – I asked Jean when we were driving back from a country fair she was singing at, praying for a next word coming out of her best friends' direction being a NO. Denial would be a good thing because it would take him out of her life as quick as he appeared in it and that was what she wanted right now, to never see him again. To never be a subject to his sarcasm and a victim of his…wonderful blue eyes and knee weakening smile.
Well…Jean started, making a face that sure was to be followed by a YES and then she sort of frowned and said: not really… I mean, he's kind of great but I have a feeling I won't be seeing him again. Well, too bad - she shrugged her arms and quickly moved on to another subject - So how did you like Annabel Rita's dress? Pretty revealing, don't you think?
Revealing was something I hoped I wasn't when being around him. Sure I tried to dismiss his arguments and act like I can stand my ground but I couldn't fight those sparks in his eyes. I couldn't fight this natural need of releasing half smiles now and then, hoping he won't notice what he does to me. Has he noticed or not wasn't a problem at that time because if Jean won't be seeing him that means she won't be seeing him either. Perfect.
And then, seven and a half months later, there he was, standing in front of me and it was like all those days passed in a blink of an eye. There I was again, hiding my true feelings for him and there he was, not making it easy for the feelings to stay hidden. It's just one night, few songs, one chance to grab, being in the same place with him and then they will go separate ways. Now obviously that wasn't God's plan. What he planned for her that night was another take on being humiliated in front of him. I should specialize in that, I thought to myself standing on stage and feeling like the cold breeze of freeze is taking over. I saw him in a back laughing, or maybe just smiling, or maybe just wishing he was elsewhere. Elsewhere was definitely a place she wanted to be. The lights were awfully bright and people started to mingle, talking and paying less and less attention to what was happening on stage. I turned away from the audience trying to catch a full breath to be able to face them again and then I heard his voice.
He saved her that night but the truth was he saved her a long time ago.