Things that go BOOM in the Night

Eris: age 23, height 5'2", Weight 102lbs, Hair short, curly, cherry-red, Eyes big blue, pouty mouth, multiple tattoos, was a dancer as a child, slight split personality disorder, no family, Emotionally attached to her bunny. Has an unhealthy obsession with kitchen cutlery/utensils and an uncontrollable fondness for adorable baby animals. Childish Eris and adult Eris are both crazy and sadistic adult Eris just has more control and mental capacity. Childish Eris runs off instincts basically, very black and white but in a screwed up childish view.


Chapter 1

The young woman sat on top of a dumpster in a dark alleyway of the Narrows. She hugged her stuffed bunny tightly and swung her legs as she looked over the pair of dead men at her feet. Her short, curly, cherry-red hair stuck up crazily and went well with the slightly deranged look on her face as she smiled; her stitches tattoo pulling creepily at the right corner of her mouth.

She blinked her big blue eyes and delicately pulled her butcher's knife from one of the men's skulls. It made a nasty sloppy sound and she grinned. She knelt down and began the tedious but fulfilling process of jointing and dismembering her 'would be rapist/murderers' turned victims. Her bunny plushy sat imposingly, on top of the dumpster, watching with lifeless, red button eyes.

She stopped mid swing when she heard a noise from the opening of the alley. She turned and looked at the strange man who stood watching her. The girl's head tilted to the side in confusion and the man mirrored her. She blinked rapidly and scrunched up her face pulling her bunny into her arms and dropping her knife.

"Who're you? Are you gonna try and hurt me too?" the man tilted his head again in confusion, the girl was clearly at least in her teens but spoke like a child... the man stepped forward and into the meager light the alley provided.

The girl took in the man's messy, faded green hair, face paint and long purple coat... She looked down at the mostly butchered bodies at her feet and back to the clownish man before her who was clearly neither terrified nor appalled.

"Are you the one everyone whispers about?"

The Joker Smirked. " 'Fraid so sweetheart."

"Yah' gonna kill me now?"

"Now why would I do somethin' like that? Huh, Doll-face?" The pair stared at each other for a moment longer before the girl blinked and smiled pulling another butcher's knife seemingly from thin air.

"Do you wanna' help?" the Joker took the knife without question but then gave the clearly unstable red head a confused look.

"Whats your name Doll?"

The red head blinked and looked up at him from the bloody concrete. "Eris."

The Joker choked back the cackle that threatened to burst from his throat. Eris - the Greek goddess of chaos.

Eris dumped the remaining body parts in to the dumpster and turned to look at the infamous clown prince of Gotham. He held out her spare butcher knife and she just stared at it for a moment before taking it and wiping it almost lovingly with a torn piece of clothing from the ground. She slid the knife into a casing on the inside of her jacket and looked at the Joker again.

They stared at each other for a while longer, and then the Joker turned on his heel and walked out of the alley, Eris trailing behind him wordlessly.


'Mommy, Mommy! Where are you?' The tiny red headed eight year old ran down the alley frantically looking for her mother. When she reached the end she saw her mother lying unmoving on the ground with red gooey stuff coming from her head, a huge nasty looking man standing over her with a gun in his hand. Big blue eyes widened in confusion and fear. 'Mama?' the man turned and smirked when he saw her.

'Come here little one…' Eris did NOT like the look on his face and stepped back.

'No, I'm not supposed to talk to strangers…' the man's smirk turned into a snarl and he moved towards her faster. She turned and ran clutching her bunny tightly tears streaming down her face. She tripped near the mouth of the alley and curled into a ball waiting for the man to catch her.

He never did. She glanced back and saw the man lying unconscious on the concrete. A tall black clothed thing standing over him. It turned and looked at her. 'Are you alright?' its voice was deep and raspy.

Eris's lower lip quivered and tears poured down her face. 'Mommy...'

The bat thing turned and looked at the other body in the alley. 'I'm sorry; I'll take you to the station.' Eris let herself be picked up and stared silently over Batsy's shoulder at her mother's body as they left for the station.

Eris sat up slowly in her new bed. She looked around the dismal monochromatic bedroom and sighed. She stood up and stretched, her yawn cracking her jaw and showing of filed canine teeth. She re-strapped her knives all over her body and pulled on her hooded leather jacket to hide the ones decorating her torso. She wondered briefly what her other self had been thinking following the Joker home… if you could call a rundown warehouse, which had been redesigned and made livable on the inside, a home.

She blinked at her bunny lying on the bed and picked him up with a sigh knowing if she was without him and switched, all hell would break loose. She pulled the straps free from his back and slid him over her shoulders like a back pack.

Eris looked at her door and sat down on her bed. "What now…" A serious look passed over her face and she stood again. She walked over to the door and opened it slowly looking out into the depressing living quarters: the kitchen, living room, and a couple of doors, one probably lead to a laundry room and the other probably leading to the Joker's bedroom.

She walked out into the kitchen; there were a pair of large minions she may have met the night before… Anson and Blake? Maybe? She walked to the coffee pot and poured herself some she doused it in sugar and just a touch of crème, and turned to lean on the counter. Anson stared at her in confusion.

Anson was a large black man with Hazel eyes, and Blake was a tall thin man with light brown hair and green eyes. They both seemed very confused as they stared at her in shock. "What?"

The men shook their heads and looked away. She smirked to herself and began searching through the kitchen. She found some unspoiled milk and egg, bread, peanut butter, pancake mix, syrup, a case of lemon kool-aid mix and lots of frozen hamburger meat. Eris shook her head. "You guys hungry?"

The two men's heads shot towards her and they both nodded rapidly. She smiled and dug out a frying pan, pancake mix, eggs, milk, and syrup. She looked at Blake, "set the table." The man jumped into action, practically dripping in excitement at the idea of a homemade breakfast. "Anson Where's the Joker?"

The man paled and swallowed. "I ah- umm, I don't know miss." Eris smiled at him gently.


The large man jumped a bit and nodded. "Yes ma'am." She raised an eyebrow and gave him a look. "Eris."

She nodded in satisfaction and turned back to her cooking pancakes. "I'm done Eris." The red head looked over her shoulder at Blake.

"Put one out for the Joker too." both men paled dramatically and stared at her in terror. She turned back to the pancakes. "Don't make me repeat myself boys." She smiled when she heard Blake scramble for another plate and glass. She flipped the last pancake and set the tray on the table, and smiled at them "I'll be right back. Go ahead and eat."

The men nodded and watched her walk over to the Jokers door. She opened it and ducked instinctively as a knife flew out of the dark room and zipped over her head and embedded into the wall behind her. She flipped on the bedroom light and gave the clown a bored look. He glared at her from his place in bed. "I made Breakfast. Get up." With that she turned and went back to the table. The minions stared at her in shock and she gave them a serious look, "Eat!"

"Yes Ma'am!" Was echoed from both, it was about fifteen more minutes before the Joker emerged fully painted and dressed minus his coat and shoes. He flopped himself into the empty kitchen chair and Eris set a cup of Black coffee in front of him.

The Joker looked at the food and the coffee then back at the confusing girl next to him. "Your cracked aren't you."

Eris laughed loudly and flashed sharpened canines at him in a tattoo pulling smile. "I'm split." The Joker nodded and drank his coffee.

After they ate the clown stood up and opened a cabinet pulling out a bottle of vodka, a shot glass, and a pack of lemon kool-aid. He poured the vodka and dumped the entire pack of powder into it he swirled it around a bit mixing it he poured it in his mouth and swished it around like mouth wash and swallowed.

The Joker grinned at Eris, his previously clean teeth having taken on a dark yellowish tinge. Eris raised an eyebrow, "Creative." He nodded and motioned his boys up.

"Come on, we've got work to do boys."