A/N: Hello! First things first, before i forget (again!) I do not own Bleach, or these ideas! I took most of them from a list I found on the internet of things you are not allowed to do in the military. Of course, I added a Bleach twist and a few rules of my own...

I am planning on making this a long, multi-chap thing, and I'll really, really, really try to update often, but if you read my other fics, well...let's just hope you won't base my consistency on them, eh? ;) Besides, this was incredibly fun to write...

Day 1:

I'm supposed ta write in this "journal" (diary) to, as Aizen-sama put it, 'better contemplate what I've done.' But because I'm not going to keep no "journal" (it's a diary!), I'mma gonna turn it into something a lil' more useful (and fun! ^_^). Welcome ta the very first 'Official Rule-book of Los Noches!'

Now ya might be wonderin', why'd I have'ta keep this dumb "journal" (It's a diary, gosh-darn it!), well, that brings me ta rule 1:

1: I'm not allowed to watch South Park while on patrol. (Whaaat? It was borin' and there was nuthin' else ta do!)

I've now taken it upon ma 'self to keep track of ma' doin's and make a careful record of what's no longer allowed in Heuco Mundo. For tha sake of all those poor Arrancar, Espada, and lowly, stupid Hollows who don't know better, of course; NOT for my own personal amusement (LOL).

Oh, and also fer tha sake of all those readin', I will omit ma' accent in tha recordin' of said rules. And fer tha sake of the younger viewers, I will also keep ma' language G-rated. (I already did, up there ^ :P)

Well, I guess that's tha end of tha intro; now onta' the good stuff…

Day 2:

This popped inta ma head t'other day when all tha lower arrancar 'n' stuff kept referrin' ta me as 'Gin-sama', and seein' as how I hate them honorifics, I decided ta at least change it ta one that I enjoy. The next day Tousen politely drew me aside and informed me:

2: My official title is Gin-sama or Ichimaru-sama, and NOT 'Princess Anastasia.'

Ah, well, too bad. It was catchy.

Day 3:

Well this was entirely NOT ma' fault! Aizen-sama strictly forbade me from threatinin' tha arrancars with ma' Zanpakuto, so I had to get creative! Apparently-

3: -I am not allowed to threaten the arrancars with Black Magic-


4: Any Espadas or lowly, stupid Hollows either.


-not ma' words.

6: And I'm not allowed to change anyone's disbelief in Black Magic by asking for hair.

*sighs* they jus' can't have no fun, can they?

Day 4:

This was jus' gon' be an experiment, not permanent or nuthin', 'cause it woulda been interestin' ta see tha responses, AND Szayel offered…

7: I am not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

I commend ma' self for ma' open support of women's breast cancer! But I can't say tha same fer tha rest a' them… Tousen wouldn't even wear one a' them 'I heart boobies' bracelets. (Though Nnoitra almost took one by force O.O)

Day 5:

Well, Aizen-sama asker fer this one. He noticed how much fun I'd been having with the "Journal" (diary, #$%&+=*!) and asked why I had continued ma' preposterous actions even with tha' book ta show me what I'd been doing wrong. Now, I'd been usin' this one fer weeks, and obviously there'd been complaints, because Aizen-sama told me after I'd answered:

10: I am not allowed to answer 'In accordance with the prophesy' to any inquiries of my absurd activities.

11: And I'm not allowed to get gullible fraccion to reply that to their Espada, neither.


End first chapter! That really was a lot of fun to write ^_^ and if you guys are as big Gin fans as I am, please take the time to fav and review :) I promise this will get even better.