A/N: I AM SO SORRY I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO APOLOGIZE! This past month just got so hectic. I swear I was working any spare time I had; I just had (still have) multiple projects I was working on (betaing, co-authoring, papers, etc.) plus I started drivers ed! Ugh. I decided to make it up to you by having a SPECIAL EDITION! chapter, with more rules than I think I've ever previously done (around 85!) But this is just a filler chapter, so I still have my last list for the actual planned chapter still in progress (it's actually half written now.) Just to stretch out this fic longer, (cause you awesome, amazing, WONDERFUL ppls seem to really like this) I am putting at least 1 more filler before the actual chapter. So, if one of your ideas does not appear, it means I am just waiting to put it in that chapter so you don't have the humiliation of your creative suggestions being subjected to just fillers. lol. Due to my previous stated reasons as well, I am postponing individual shout-outs until that chapter too, but any favs/alerts/reviews from the last chapter until then will be listed.
THANKS SINCERELY TO ALL THOSE THAT DID THOUGH! YOu really can't know how much they mean to me, and how happy they make me feel (IK, I'm a sap.)
The nature of this chapter is going to be a bit different (as will be explained,) but I hope you guys will be satisfied with it; my main goal right now is to portray Gin's epicness and to just make you guys laugh.
Anyway, I really am sorry and I apologize for the long wait. I know I myself hate authors who take a month to update, and yet here I am! (And now that I think about it, I'm not particularly fond of long authors notes, so I'm going to shut up now.)
Aizen-sama has given a few a' us orders (Tia and Stark,) but tha rest a' us are ta' "wait patiently" until further notice. I can' complain much though; tha livin' world has distractions galore!
Tha first thing on our agenda was to maintain some appearance a' normalcy, so we bought a house. It's hard ta' look like an average family with tha variation a' us livin' here, but I though' I'd help and bought us a dog. When the curious neighbors inquired tha name, I cheerfully informed them our dog's name was "Dog."*
Then Tia suggested tha' we at least put up some pretense a' havin' regular jobs, so we all take regular trips ta' visit them fancy big buildin's in tha city. And with that, I introduce ya' ta tha' special chapter of my journal!
What is entailed in tha special chapter ya might ask? Well, when involvin' big fancy buildin's in tha city, what else could it be but ELEVATORS? (An' don' say revolvin' doors, while at first they were Kami's gift ta man, they now only retain…only painful memories fer me…)
(Note: These rules are gonna be more a tha' nature of what has a rule a workin', rather than prohibited pranks.)
226: When there's only one person in front of you, tap his shoulder; when they turn around, pretend like it wasn't you.
227: Every time you press a button, act like they shock you and keep going back to press another.
The proper response to inquiries of this particular course of action should always be to smile and inform, "I'm masochistic."
228: Ask everyone who gets on if you can press the buttons for them, but consistently press only the wrong ones farthest from their floor.
229: Call a psychic hotline on your cell and ask if they can tell you what floor you're on.
230: When there are other people on, rush over and hold the doors open with the claim, you're waiting for a friend. After a few minutes, randomly say "Hey, Bud! How you been?" and let the doors close.
231: Drop a random object such as a pen and leave it lying there; when someone goes to pick it up, scream "HEY! That's MINE!"
232: Bring a huge, bulky, professional camera, and "discreetly" take numerous photos of the other passengers.
233: Carry a small desk into the elevator with you, and every time someone boards, ask if they have an appointment.
234: Lay down a twister mat and get into an awkward pose. For every new person, demand that they either join or spin the wheel.
235: Leave a suspicious looking box in a corner, and every time another person joins, ask if they can hear the ticking too.
236: Assume the role of flight attendant and ensure the safety of the other passengers by running through emergency procedures and exits.
237: Periodically ask everyone in a mildly panicked voice, "Did you feel that?"
238: Stand uncomfortably close to a grumpy looking business man and consistently sniff them.
239: Whenever the doors shut, yell "It's ok! Don't panic, they open again!"
240: Run around the small area chasing and swatting non-existent flies.
No one was more surprised than me when I didn't get kicked outta tha buildin' until closin' hours. O.O
Next buildin'! An' this one's shiny!
This one had double elevators, so I stood for 3 hours contemplating which offered the superior ride until the receptionist finally came over to ask what my problem was.
She was the same one that came back later and asked the same thing when she caught me licking one a them shiny windows. I said I was tha new window washer.
241: Inform everyone who gets on in a serious manner that you can see their aura.
(As if; these puny humans aint got squat fer reiatsu.)
242: Call out "Group hug!" and then enforce it.
243: Make a variation of expressions and then start smacking your head repeatedly, muttering: "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up, all of you!"
244: Crack open a briefcase, purse, or whatever container you happen to be carrying, and ask "Got enough air in there?"
245: Stand motionless and silent, facing a corner; don't ever get off.
246: Stare intensely at another passenger until they either glare or ask what you're doing, then jump and back away exclaiming, "You're one of THEM!"
247: Sport a sock puppet on your hand and only use that to communicate.
248: Listen closely to every inch of an elevator wall with a stethoscope.
249: Make loud explosion or booming sounds every time someone presses a button. Perhaps even a fart here and there.
250: Go "Vroom, vroom!" every time someone enters or leaves the doors.
I got Ulquiorra ta do 245, though I was under tha impression he woulda' done it anyway
251: Tape off a small circle in the center of the floor and inform the other passengers that it's your "personal space."
252: Proudly parade around and announce periodically that you have a new pair of pink and purple polka-dot socks.
253: cover the entrance completely with police tape.
254: Break wind when there're only two others in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
255: Hold and Auction.
256: Do the "potty dance" all the way up to the doors and the moment you step in, sigh and look relieved.
257: Go around and loudly ask each passenger if you can have a tampon. Especially if they're male. Even more especially if you are.
258: Throw a rave.
259: Strategically place potted plants and water bottles in corners. When someone asks about it, say that you "Refuse to ride and elevator that isn't Fung Shwei."
260: Greet everyone who enters with a warm handshake and tell them they can call you "Admiral."
Ya wouldn' baleive how many weird looks I got. Okay, maybe ya would.^_^ it makes me wanna go back fer more!"
Tia got angry at me fer bein' thrown outta so many of our supposed "jobs." She said we'll finish up appearances an' if I don' shape up by tha end a tha week, we'll move on ta a different type a "job." It's obvious what I'm gonna be doin'. ^_^
261: Hum the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" over and over again until all the other passengers depart.
262: Upon entering, brush shoulders with as many people as possible and whisper to each, "Was it good for you too?"
263: Start a conversation with another passenger. Reply to every topic with a string of sentances that do not portray any logical connection or coherence. See how long they bother to try to keep up for politeness sake.
264: Provoke yourself into a heated debate.
265: Bring the largest melon you can find onto the elevator. Try to sell it like an old Chinese woman who doesn't understand "no" and keep repeating "Only five dolla!"
266: Drum your fingers on every available surface, even occasionally the other passengers.
Note to any who dare attempt: stay away from the businesswomen.
267: Mark a large 'X' in the center of the floor. Hand out pirate treasure maps to anyone boarding.
268: Stroke your chin pensively and ask all the other passengers to tell you about their mothers.
269: Greet everyone coming on as if they were your long-lost BFF. Call them all the same name.
270: Propose with tear-jerking, heart-wrenching speeches to all the passengers. When refused or ignored, move on to the next, unfazed.
In effort to appear unbiased, I followed through and proposed ta EVERYONE. I was accepted by a slimy, dirty,fat, baldin,' middle-aged homeless man. ^_^ I baleive fate brought us tagether!
271: Say "ring ring!" and then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
72: Have you and friends reenact Charlie the Unicorn.
Szayel an' Grimmy-chan made surprisin'ly good blue an' pink ponies. ^_^
273: Don full clown get-up and treat all the adults like children, offering to amuse them with balloon shapes.
274: Challenge all the other passengers to balloon sword duels.
275: Sing Justin Beiber.
Taday ma goal is ta be as annoyin' as possible! Na' tha' it wasn' ma goal all tha previous entries, bu' I'm more serious taday… Jus' kiddin'!
276: Enter the elevator with a large cooler marked "severed head."
277: Sell Girl Scout cookies. In full uniform.
278: Freeze block shaped pans of water. Bring the "ice bricks" and build an igloo on the floor.
279: Enter the enclosed area with hesitation and/or trepidation, and nervously disclose to another party, "I'm sorta scared….it's my first time flying…"
280: Play "I've got your nose!" with the other passengers.
281: Shout "Food fight!"
282: Every time someone enters recoil in horror.
283: Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette and ask someone for a light.
284: Whenever someone coughs/sneezes/ attempts conversation, shout peevishly "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
285: Lick one of the buttons. Tell everyone that you're sick and tired of everyone stealing your food the minute your back is turned.
286: When you arrive at your floor, grunt, strain, and pull at the doors in attempt to open them. Act embarrassed when they do on their own.
288: Bring a snow board. Every time the elevator goes up or down, shout "All right! WHOOO! This is what I call sick air!"
289: Push your nose up against all the other passengers and inform "You know, this is what Eskimos used to do before having sex."
290: Use the shiny, metallic doors of the elevator to pick your nose. Be sure to wipe it on the carpet.
291: Use those same doors to shave and/or perform your early morning routine.
The number of disgusted faces is pilin' up innumerably, satisfactorily high . I haven't felt this satisfied since I set Szayel's hair on fire.
Last day! Woe is me! But I mus' make tha best a' it. *sniffles.* Well, at least Tia promised next week we would be going to a variation a stores and tha like… So ma evil plans are liftin' ma spirits somewha'.
292: Every time the elevator starts going down, scream and shout, "This is it! This is the end! OH MY GOD! We're all gonna die! It's OVER!" When it stops, abruptly drop the act as if nothing happened only to resume as it starts again.
293: Ask all other passengers if they'd be interested in seeing your lawn gnome collection.
294: Practice kung-fu.
295: Go around the elevator timidly asking each passenger, "Are you my mother?"
296: Fly an endless barrage of paper airplanes.
297: Bring a pocketful of frozen peas and a cut straw that fits undetected in your palm. Blow peas at everyone else when you "casually" yawn.
298: Do yoga. When someone gets angry at you eventually, suggest that they do some to, to help their anger management issues.
299: Serenade the passengers with passionate love songs accompanied by an accordion.
300: Pitch a tent.
That, ma dear readers, I will leave up ta your perverted minds ta interpret as ya will.
301: Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Go around asking indic=vidually everybody if they like your hat.
302: Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
303: Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
304: Bring a shovel and attempt to "dig for treasure."
305: Read "Green eggs and ham" at the top of your lungs, putting special emphasis on each and every word.
306: Repeatedly ask someone "Guess what?" and let them continually ask "What?" until they snap; when that happens, reply "Geez! I was only asking a question!"
307: Comment loudly to another passenger hoe "SOME PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO LEARN TO CONTROL THEIR TEMPER!"
308: Ask another person if they have another pair of underwear because you tend to have uncontrollable bowel movements whenever you suddenly lurch up or down, and you forgot to pack your "elevator panties."
309: Stretch tightly a roll of saran wrap across the inside of the elevator. Laugh as people smack their faces trying to get on.
310: Rock yourself back and forth in a corner muttering to yourself, "It opens and then people get on and then it closes then it goes down and then it opens and then the people get off and more people get on but they're not the ones that got on, and then it closes and then it goes up and then it opens and then the people get off and more get on but they're never the same as the ones who got off and then it closes and then it goes down…" in a repeating cycle.
I got Uulquiorra ta' help ma again :P. Guess which one? Okay, it was number 303! And boya, it was funny as heck!
A/N: Phew! For some reason it was so hard to get to this! I mean I finally get an idea, and my sister hogs the pc and my work just piles up! grrrr...
lol soooooo... Have you guys seen the Hunger Games? Yea? lol So who's your favorite character? I just love Cinna! ^_^
Remember to review and send in suggestions for the future chapter (and if you want, you can give ideas for the nest filler chapter too; it's gonna be store pranks XD)
Oh, and if you just so happen to love pranks AND Sonic the hedgehog, go and check out my BFF's new fic, Best Ways to Prank Shadow the Hedgehog by AgentOfRedAndBlue; she really needs some suggestions for ideas. I started betaing for her starting chapter two.