For Matt

The Boss. That's what I am and there are times in my life when I truly hate it. This is one of those times. Matt's dead. That young man with so much life ahead of him taken away in mere seconds. I look over at my senior DS and I don't know what to say to him. I don't think I've ever seen him so broken. Matt was like a Son to him and if I'm honest he was to me too. The pain is almost unbearable. The only consolation is that the man responsible is behind bars. I look at Ronnie and hope and pray that he doesn't turn to drink again, I'd hate to see that happen to him. He's a friend but as I look at him there are days when I wish we had more. Maybe one day when things return to normal. What is normal anymore. Without Matt it will never be the same. The team dynamic has gone and we may never get it back. This is the part I hate. I'm the Guv and I have to and need to be strong for my team. To help them in anyway I can even when the I feel like falling apart myself. The nights are saved for my grief. The nights when I can return to my office. Close the blinds and cry. Cry for the Detective we lost. The son we lost. For Matt.