Genre: Humor/Romance/Crack.

Rate: T.

Warning: OOC-ness- esp on Hakuba's and Makoto's parts, AU and my shitty English. Wait, let's not forget crack ^^.

Disclaim: I own nothing~!

A/N: As always~! Thanks for taking time to read and review ^^~!

And of course, there'll be KID…though he's not going to be the KID from canon x3.

And the whole BO is just there to have Shinichi shrunk and as I said in chapter 1, the main story shall be the romantic one xD. I'm not intelligent enough to deal with things related to the BO or FBI or…Whatever, let's leave the FBI to deal with the BO while Conan-tan deal with one Host Club x3.

Chapter 3: First Love.

Part 1

…he knew it, the moment he stepped inside that cursed room, his life would be turned up-sided down. He just knew it!

The facts that he had to see Hakuba everyday was bad enough, they shared a room, you know and to be honest, Hakuba acted as if he hadn't been the jerk that had forced Conan to join that stupid Club which made Conan annoyed, really, then see those idiots at 3 pm every Saturday was another tiring thing and now, they just decided to see him outside the Host Club too.

…For example, right then.

Monday, two days after that fateful day, he had just grumpily gathered his things and prepared to leave- run before those kids could catch him and insist that he should join the Detective Boys, the door of his classroom was then opened and guess what he saw?

…Idiots and idiots…Minus for Makoto because he liked that silent guy, not to mention he was once his captain in the Karate Club back in Middle School too, duh.

Upon seeing him, a wide grin tugged at the most idiot of the idiots' lips and before he could run, Kaito was already holding him up cheerfully, ignoring the looks and stares they were getting from the kids.

"Good afternoon~! Conan-chan~!" he swung Conan around happily, which made the poor boy get all dizzy and dizzy…urg.

"Put me down!" Conan yelled, trying to stop his spinning head but no avail and then, he mentally thanked Ayumi, who stepped in and stopped the madness with her cute question.

"…Who are you, mister?" she asked, looking up at Kaito with wide eyes.

Kaito stopped his happy reunion with his proclaimed little brother to look at her, the grin turned into a nice smirk. Conan, who was already dizzy by then, glared at Kaito unsteadily…Pedobear.

Then the boy was handed to Makoto, who held Conan against his chest almost automatically- Conan wondered if the third year student really wasn't a robot…Well, he had been like that, silent and strong even in his Middle years…And Conan didn't really mind, he'd need a sane one to keep himself sane in all the madness that was going on around him.

…Like what was happening then.

Comically plus dramatically, Kaito knelt down before Ayumi, his eyes dropped to half-lidded before a rose suddenly appeared in his hand.

"…My apologize, Princess," he murmured and Conan rolled his eyes, really, indeed pedobear.

"I am Kuroba Kaito, a second year student in the High School," he smiled and handed her the rose which Ayumi took with a shy smile.

"Hey you! Get away from Ayumi!" two boys' voices called and Kaito everyone looked up to see Mitsuhiko and Genta glared at Kaito angrily.

…haha, jealous love-sick boys, Conan rolled his eyes in a not-amused manner while he was still being held by Makoto.

"Oh, what do we have here?" Hattori spoke up and stepped into the classroom fully, a smirk on his lips as he glanced down at the two boys who glared up heatedly.

Conan had to admire the kids for the courage to stand up for their friends.

Hattori then glanced back at Kaito, who gave a nod before the green eyes boy crouched down before the boys.

"You know, guys, if you don't act fast, your princess will be snatched away," he started and the boys blinked at him.

"…Well…she doesn't like us…" Mitsuhiko stuttered, looking down ashamed.

"All thank to that shrimp," Genta said, glaring at Conan, frustrated.

"Did you hear?" the blond said bemusedly as he stood by Makoto, who was holding Conan, looking at the scene before him, "They said you stole their princess," then his golden eyes glanced at Conan, "You do have some charm after all, eh?"

And he ignored the bored glare that Conan was sending him altogether.

"Aw, poor boys," Eisuke also piped in, sighing dramatically, "I say we do something to help them."

"We're already doing," Hakuba replied and the clumsy boy blinked.

"We are?"

"Yes, we are."

With that said, Hakuba stepped forward and he also crouched down before the kids, "How about take classes to become a gentleman?" he suggested with a sweet smile.

"Every girl likes a well-mannered and sensitive boy who can act according to her moments and place her emotions, well-being on top of his own."

And the rest watched as Mitsuhiko and Genta looked up at Hakuba with wide and admiring eyes.

"I'll take the class!" both boys chorused and if possibly, Hakuba's smile widened.

"Excellent! Then please come to the Host Club when you have free time," then he whipped out a clipboard from no where, "…now, let's us discuss about the fee."

And Conan would have fallen face first to the ground if Makoto hadn't been holding him.

"Isn't that illegal?" he asked thin air, "That he's manipulating children into doing things?"

"Nope, not at all~!" Kaito answered cheerfully before taking Conan back from Makoto, who gave the not-child away without resisting.

"They'll become gentlemen to please their loved ones," Eisuke explained cheerily, "And we get some profit from it so it's great deal for both parties~!"

"And our Club's policy is that 'Everyone is happy, no one gets sad or lonely', don't you know?" Kaito continued happily as he nuzzled his nose into the not child's hair.

While trying in vain to free himself from the multi-type host, Conan mumbled back a 'No I don't'…yet, his inside fluttered funnily at that, the wistful tome Kaito used when he said those words.

…And you know, stupidity followed those idiots every where and when they were gone, the said stupidity also followed them, leaving Conan to deal with the consequences, meaning, questions and questions from the kids about those nice oniichans.

…which mean headache for Conan. And that also led to the amused looks Hakuba sent him when he got back to their shared room.

…Which mean more headaches.


Then in a blink of eyes, it was Saturday again and that mean his second day at the Club.

Grumpily, he pushed the door open and then, he was greeted with an Army of five.

"…What the?" that escaped his lips without him noticing as he stared at his fellow hosts, who were all dressed in green military uniforms that were of course, tailored a bit to suit the fashion.

"You are late, Edogawa-kun," Hakuba said, amused at the way he stared at them.

"Lateness is not allowed in an Army, you know," Hattori tch-ed way too cheerfully while Eisuke was busy adjusting his uniform hat that kept falling off his head for no reason at all. And like always,

"But my little brother is allowed to do whatever he wants~!" Kaito quickly defended the shock-frozen boy who was still standing at the doorway with a hand on the doorknob.

Makoto shot him a blank look.

"What's going on here?" Conan finally got his sense back just in time to ask and step fully inside, closing the door behind him.

"Ah, to keep the Princesses from getting bored," Kaito explained and marched toward Conan to pick him up- did that idiot have some kind of man-handling feisty? If not then why the hell did he always man-handle the poor boy?

"We have to change the theme once every while and our King decided on the Army theme," Hattori continued, linking his hands behind his head and looking up- a perfect picture of boredom.

"…Stupid," that was all Conan muttered back.

"Ah! We have to get you changed too!" Kaito exclaimed then processed to run to the changing room, "I have this real cute tailored uniform for you~!"

And the rest of the Club looked at the disappearing pairs- "Put me down, damn it!", "Noooo, don't be mean to your brother!", "I'm not your brother! I refuse to be related to an idiot!", "Aww, denial gets you no where, Ototou-chan~!"- with an amused expression.

"…King's getting happy these days huh?" Hattori smirked and Eisuke laughed.

"Edogawa-kun is good for our King uh?" the pale boy continued, "…Do you think he's enough to help King get over his first love?"

"…Who know," Makoto spoke up, startling the others, "…Only time can tell." And his glasses gleamed, plus the uniform, the dark-skinned upper-class student looked really scary, like a real, stoic soldier.

"Geez, Kyo-senpai, warn us the next time you decide to speak," Hattori complained, "You'll startle me to death one of these days."

Makoto only shot him a blank look…like always.

Hakuba shook his head bemusedly at his peers before clapping his hands together, "Hurry to your places, guys! The Club is about to open!"


…The theme was picked because I am obsessed with hot anime guys in military uniforms *drools*.

…I'm feeling lazy, dead tired after classes and classes then homework and my time of using the computer is limited and I want to up today so yeah. *counts* hey~! Once part two is up, we get to see KID in chapter 4~! Then if it flows, there'd be Shinichi as well~!

A historical AU bunny is stirring in me O.o. And I've got four three on-going stories and one in hi-status…should I add another monster to the piles?

Some reviews would be nice ^^~!