Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Harry hike en route for the Great Hall, perceive Ron. "Greetings superior associate! What be for evening meal?"

Ron counter, "Evening meal is negative. Dwelling-sprites on slowdown." He activate waterworks. "I require nourishment!"

Harry knead the spinal area in possession of Ron in soothing manner. "Why have domicile-brownies renounced drudgery they be keen on?"

"Asinine abode-puck, Dobby, influence supplementary beings of uniform genus that vocation be debauched." He once more commence wailings. "Is ghastly!"

Hermione perambulate in direction of Ron plus Harry. "Good-day, comrades of above-average merit! Is it not splendid that quarter-goblins have discarded employment? Myself ruminate in accordance exceptionally worthy notion!"

Ron rotate in direction of Hermione. "By what method do you venture to declare such sacrilege? Is zealous atrociousness! Cannot be authorized in continuance! Individuals of high esteem, set fire to detester of sustenance!"

Body of individuals rise up in conjunction with shrieks. Harry seize stake which miraculously come into being. Persons of fanatical manner secure Hermione to stake. Harry plus Ron superimpose straw around Hermione.

"Denial! This course of action equals illegitimate! Being of virtuous behaviors, liberate me!"

Being of noble habits come into visibility. "Nix. Loather of nutrition must be consumed by conflagration." Man grasp torch plus propel on Hermione. She screech in agony. Persons of insane comportment (Harry plus Ron is contained within this) cavort around Hermione.

At the time of non-viability of Hermione, persons stride towards Three Broomsticks, in need of nutrition subsequent the incineration of mad food-abhorrer.

TRANSLATION

Harry walked into the Great Hall and saw Ron. "Hello my friend! What's for dinner?"

"There is no dinner," Ron replied. "The house-elves are on strike." He began to cry. "I need food!"

Harry patted Ron's back comfortingly. "Why did they quit work that they like?"

"That stupid house-elf, Dobby, convinced them that labour is evil." He cried even harder than before. "It's horrible!"

Hermione walked over to Ron and Harry. "Hi guys! Isn't it awesome that the house-elves are on strike? I think it's wonderful!"

Ron turned to Hermione. "How dare you say that! This is terrible! Your evil thoughts cannot be allowed to go on! Everyone, set fire to the food-hater!"

The students leapt from their seats, screaming. Harry grabbed a stake which had suddenly appeared. The maddened teens and pre-teens tied Hermione to the stake tightly so that she could not escape. Harry and Ron piled straw around her.

"No! This is illegal! Save me, O noble hero!"

A hero materialized. "No way. The food-hater must be burned."

The hero grabbed a fiery torch and threw it onto the straw. Hermione screamed in agony. The crazed people (Harry and Ron were among them) danced around her burning figure.

Once she had been burned to death, the students ran down to the Three Broomsticks. They needed something to eat after the burning of the insane food-hater.