"I'm going to beat that idiot with a stick…!"
The young pinkette was grumbling maliciously to herself as she headed toward the training grounds with her violent thoughts focused towards her irritating blonde team mate. It was only yesterday that he and some of the other boys had tumbled into the girls' private hot spring session and she hadn't given him a proper beat down yet. She trusted that the other girls would give their own team mates the same appropriate treatment…well, maybe not Hinata…
Luckily the boys had only interrupted them after Sakura had soaked up all the hot springs had to offer. She had returned to her regular hot-tempered self and she had come to an inner epiphany concerning her other, more brooding, team mate.
Sasuke meant no more to her than Naruto did.
Well of course they still meant the whole world to her, they were her family. But there was nothing romantic about either relationship. In fact, Sakura decided, that if Sasuke had been at the hot springs as well he would get the exact same treatment as the Uzumaki.
…little did she know…
As she got closer and closer to team sevens designated meeting spot on the bridge her thoughts became more and more violent. When she finally made it she noticed that her other team mate, the one she may have, sort of had a breakdown over, had already arrived.
"Hey Sasuke." she greeted casually "Has that idiot arrived yet?" she looked around wondering if Naruto may have been hiding from her in fear.
The Uchiha froze. Was she talking to him? Like actually talking to him?
In his state of surprise all he could manage was a measly "no…"
The malicious grin that spread across her face almost worried him. "Good." she spat out.
Glancing at the questioning look the Uchiha was giving her, Sakura decided that she'd better explain. "You'll never believe what that idiot did yesterday. That little shithead was spying on Tennie, Ino, Hina and me! At the hot springs! WHILE WE WE'RE NAKED! And some of the other guys were there as well! Like Neji! Seriously, what the hell! When I get my hands on those fuckers…"
Sasuke would have been a little more worried about the situation, seeing as he was there as well, if he hadn't been so stunned that Sakura was actually trying to have a conversation with him.
Whatever was in the Konoha hot springs' water sure did work. He didn't remember Sakura saying anything longer than a sentence to him since he had come back. He was quite staggered with the change in his team mate, especially after she was acting so strange yesterday.
But he had to admit, it was a pleasant change.
Determined to keep her talking (and also not cause her to suspect that he was involved in yesterday's incident) he nodded and 'Ah-d' and 'Hn-d' at the appropriate times. He watched her small form violently punch the air as she demonstrated how she was going maul their team mate.
Even though their conversation (could you even call it that?) was small, Sasuke never felt so comfortable since he returned, as he did right now.
But alas, the moment was short lived.
"EH! ARE YOU GUYS ACTUALLY TALKING!?"
Standing there, with his mouth practically on the floor was none other than Uzumaki Naruto himself.
Before he could utter another word, he was punched square in the face and was sent flying backwards.
"YOU IDIOT!" the pinkette roared and chased after him. She grasped the startled blonde by the collar "How dare you spy on us at the hot springs!"
Naruto's eyes widened in fear "N-now Sakura-chan, l-let's try to calm down…"
"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! You want me to fucking calm down when you purposely invaded our privacy and watched us while we were naked! God dammit, how can you be so perverted?! You don't see Sasuke creeping around and peeping on women!"
"B-but teme was…" Naruto trailed off when he locked gazes with the Uchiha over Sakura's shoulder. Sasuke's eyes flashed red with warning as he mouthed what looked like 'don't you dare' from Naruto's perspective. Sakura frowned and waited for him to continue.
"Teme was…"the blonde started, "he was trying to stop us…yeah, he said that it was a stupid idea."
"Damn straight it was a stupid idea! Why the hell don't you listen for a change?" Sakura snapped, clueless to what Naruto was actually going to say.
Sasuke inwardly sighed in relief. He had a reputation to maintain, he couldn't let people find out that he had been spying on his female team mate, even though it was by accident. Although he was confused as to why the dobe had decided to keep his secret. Maybe his Uchiha glare really did have some practical effects.
But that really wasn't it. Naruto wasn't afraid of what Sasuke would have done to him if he had snitched on the Uchiha. No, he was more afraid of what Sakura would do to the bastard. From what he had witnessed mere moments ago, his two team mates finally seemed to be reconnecting. It was only a few more steps forward until those two ended up together, as a couple. If the violent young medic found out that the Uchiha was present during yesterdays escapades she would surely blow a fuse and it would be a huge set back. Naruto could practically feel his future pink-haired, onyx-eyed nieces and nephews slipping away from him.
So the blonde did something he had never done before.
He kept quite.
One crisis was averted, now all he had to do was make sure he survived the pinkettes' wrath to see his aforementioned pink-haired, onyx-eyed nieces and nephews.
He raised his hands up defensively "I know it was wrong Sakura-chan, but we were worried about you…"
The female member of team seven paused in confusion. "Huh?"
"You were acting kind of strange yesterday and then you and the rest of the girls took off before we could really ask you what was wrong. That's why we asked Kiba and Akamaru to track you guys 'cause we didn't know where you went. Trust me, we had no idea that you guys would be at the hot springs." Naruto explained "I thought you might've been at the hospital because you were sick or something and you didn't tell us because you didn't want us to worry…"
Sakura sighed in defeat. How could she be mad at him when he was just worried about her? She looked down at his questioning and worried blue eyes and realised that he still wanted an explanation for her odd behaviour yesterday.
"You didn't have to worry Naruto, I was just a little stressed out. You know, with all the stuff from the hospital…"She knew that she shouldn't have lied to her team mate when he was so concerned about her, but there was no way she was going to tell him why she was really freaking out, especially not when Sasuke was only a few meters away.
She laughed trying to lighten the situation "You really though that I was in the hospital?" she dusted herself off and helped to blonde up.
Naruto let out one of his own laughs "Yeah well…it's something you would do. Seriously Sakura-chan why is it that you're allowed to worry about us, but we can be concerned about you?!"
"Because you boys," she said, now addressing Sasuke as well "get into so much trouble and I always end up have to healing your sorry asses."
"Aww, but you love our asses!"
Naruto glanced at both his team mates raised eyebrows, "GAH! I didn't mean it like that!" he said waving his hands, then paused, "Although…" he turned and tried to admire his rear quarters only to end up spinning in circles like a dog chasing its tail.
"What an idiot…" Sasuke and Sakura mumbled together.
"Yo!" Kakashi decided to make his entrance "Sorry I'm late but-"
"Save it sensei." Naruto had finally stopped spinning "let's just start training."
"Now hold on a second," the silver-haired man spoke up, "I have a little announcement to make!"
"Oh god," Sakura groaned "You knocked up some woman, didn't you?"
Kakashi's eyes widened in shock. That so wasn't where he was going. Before he could correct the pinkette, Naruto interrupted him.
The blonde scoffed "Please, Kaka-sensei is too old to knock anyone up…"
"Hey! I'm not that old!" Kakashi cried indignantly.
"Then explain the grey hair." Sasuke joined the conversation.
"My hair is not grey! It's silver, it's been like this since I was born!"
"I reckon his eyesight's been deteriorating too." Naruto added.
"One of my eyes is covered!"
"I bet he wears that mask to cover up all his wrinkles" Sakura mumbled.
"I don't have wrinkles! I'll prove it to- oh no!" the Hatake let go of his mask that he was about to pull down, "Nice try, but you won't get me that easily!"
Damn it. They were so close to getting a look at his face…
"Now, although that was a horrible example," the Hatake shot a glare at the three of them "you three ganging up on me is an example of what today's training session will be about."
"We're going to try and get you to show us your face?" Naruto asked.
"No. Do you remember what the first thing I taught you was?"
Sakura blinked "Team work?"
"Exactly!" Kakashi grinned, "Now since it's been so long, what with Naruto having gone off training, Sakura busy with the hospital and Sasuke going off on a field trip with that snake guy-"
"And you getting old." Naruto interrupted.
Kakashi glared at the blonde, but continued, "I fear that out team dynamic may have diminished. So I think it would be good idea if we spent today regaining some of that camaraderie especially with our first official mission as a reunited team coming up."
Sasuke had hoped to get some training in today, but he supposed that Kakashi did have a point. He had witnessed how much stronger Naruto had gotten, during the war, and from what he saw during Sakura and Karin's spar, the pinkette had grown considerably as well. And he doubted what saw during the spar was even half of the medic's actual capability.
"So? How are we to do this whole 'regaining camaraderie' thing?" the blonde questioned.
The jounin grinned and pulled something out of his back pocket. He held up a small book "By using this and the art of…role playing!"
His three students exchanged glances. This did not bode well for them.
Kakashi had guided his team into the wooded area of the training grounds. The four of them were seated on the ground, waiting for the silver haired man to explain his twisted exercise.
Kakashi cleared his throat "Alright, for this exercise to work you're going to have to be completely honest in your answers and most importantly you must trust your team mates and yourselves…" he spoke philosophically.
The young pinkette twitched then turned to her two other companions "Since Kakashi-sensei is in charge of this and it's obviously going to go to shit, nothing we say EVER leaves this circle. Agreed?"
The Uchiha and the Uzumaki nodded in affirmation. Kakashi huffed, but nodded as well.
"Right." the medic spoke in approval "Kakashi-sensei, please continue."
"Alright, I'm going to give you three a series of scenarios from this" he said waving the small book "You three will have to answer what you would do in each situation. Be warned, as we go on, the scenarios will become more and more personal!" he said with a wicked grin.
"Let's just get this over with…"Sasuke grumbled.
"Well since you're so eager to get started, the first question will be for you Sasuke." Kakashi chirped "Okay Sasuke, you Naruto and Sakura are on a mission to retrieve a very important scroll. On your way back to the village you are ambushed by a group of rouge ninja. They are after the scroll as well and are not afraid to kill anyone that gets in their way. They over power you, but there is a chance for you to escape, however that would leave Naruto and Sakura alone and they will surely be killed. So do you (a) sacrifice Naruto and Sakura and return to the village alive and complete the mission, or do you (b) stay and fight with your team and possibly die in the battle together and fail your mission?"
"Stay and fight." the Uchiha answered without a second of hesitation.
His three team mates smiled to themselves with the same words floating through their minds, 'those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum'. They were finally getting their old Sasuke back, the Sasuke who genuinely cared about them, the Sasuke who saw them as his most important people.
"Besides," the Uchiha continued "there's no way I could be beaten by some rouge ninja."
Naruto twitched at his best friends' arrogance "Way to ruin the moment, teme…"
Sasuke simply raised his eyebrow.
Kakashi chuckled "Let's continue, shall we? Naruto, you're next."
"Hit me Kaka-sensei!"
"You are appointed as Hokage of the village-" Kakashi started
"I'm not done yet," the Hatake muttered "mean while, Sasuke and Sakura are wrongly arrested for crimes against the village and are sentenced to death"
"What!?" Naruto yelped.
Kakashi continued, "As Hokage it is your duty to see to it that their execution goes through as planned. Do you (a) fulfil your responsibility as leader of the village, or do you (b) break Sasuke and Sakura out of prison and then live a life on the run and give up your dream of becoming Hokage?"
"Geeze Kaka-sensei," Naruto pouted "you should already know the answer to this one. I mean, we did have a prison break plan designed just in case teme…you know…besides, being Hokage wouldn't be as fun without Sakura-chan or ordering the teme to call Naruto-sama"
They had a plan to break him out of jail? That was news to Sasuke; he glanced at the dobe questioningly.
Naruto shrugged sheepishly "Well, Sakura-chan came up with most of it…its kinda scary how her mind works sometimes…"
The Uchiha caught a glimpse of the pinkette who was refusing to meet his gaze. It marvelled him how far his team mates were still willing to go for him. And it made him feel even guiltier for leaving the village in the first place.
The copy-nin smiled to himself, observing his ex-students interactions. "Yes…I suppose I should have seen that coming. Very well, Sakura, the next question is for you."
The medic nodded, signally Kakashi to continue.
"Naruto and Sasuke have been gravely injured during a fight. You are running low on energy and only have enough chakra to heal one of them. Whose life do you save?"
Naruto and Sasuke froze. What kind of question was that! How could they expect Sakura to answer that…?
The young medic simply sighed, "That's easy…I'd save both of them."
Kakashi blinked "I don't think you understand me Sakura, I said-"
"No Kakashi-sensei, I don't think you understand my medical abilities. After I've used up almost all of my chakra there is a jutsu that only requires the very littlest amount of chakra. It's kind of like a variation of the one Chiyo-sama used on Garra…"
"But-" Naruto stuttered "Didn't Chiyo-baa…die?"
Sakura scratched her neck awkwardly "Yeah, that is a side effe-"
"NO!" the blonde yelled. He grasped his team mates shoulders and looked at her with crazed eyes, "Sakura-chan you can't do that! You can't give up your life for us! You have to promise me that you will never ever use that jutsu!"
Sakura rolled her eyes "Fine…"
Naruto let out a sigh of relief.
"But only as long as you two never put me in that position." she continued. Sakura smiled lovingly at her team mates "That goes for you too Kakashi-sensei."
Naruto sighed again, but then glanced at Sakura and returned her smile, "Deal."
Kakashi nodded in agreement and gave her one of his own smiles.
The medic turned to the silent Uchiha. He stared intently at her, then after a moment he let out a soft "Aa."
The pink haired girl beamed, "Good, now, is there any more questions Kakashi-sensei?"
The Hatake chuckled "Oh yes, Naruto, Sasuke, the next question is for the both of you."
The two boys sat up straighter, getting more interested.
Kakashi consulted his book, and then spoke "You arrive at Sakura's house to pick her up for a mission. She is in the bathroom, so you wait for her in her bedroom. On the floor you find a used condom-"
"WHAT!" Naruto roared. "Who the hell touched Sakura-chan?! I'll rip that piece of shit's head off!"
"Whoa, Naruto calm down!" Sakura said alarmed at his sudden outburst.
While she tried in vain to soothe the furious blonde, Kakashi observed the Uchiha's reaction. The avengers' eyes were rapidly spinning red and he was snarling to himself silently. The Hatake smirked.
"Which shit head stole my Sakura-chan's virginity?!" Naruto demanded.
The medic tried to restrain the boy, "Naruto relax. What makes you sure that I'm still a virgin anyway?"
The silence that overcame the group could almost be considered deafening.
Naruto had stopped thrashing. Kakashi had dropped his book. Sasuke was frozen stiff. And Sakura was awkwardly clinging onto Naruto and anxiously glancing at her boys. Maybe she shouldn't have said that…
Then, chaos ensued.
"What did she say?" Kakashi muttered "What the hell did she just say?"
"Oh sweet mercy, NO!" The blonde wept dramatically."
"DOBE! This is your fault!" The Uchiha snapped the accusation "You were supposed to make sure this never happened!"
"My fault!?" Naruto replied, tears still streaming down his cheeks "How is this my fault?! Maybe if you hadn't left you could have actually looked after Sakura-chan and she would still be a virg- …a vir-" Naruto burst into tears before he could get the word out of his mouth.
Sakura sighed exasperatedly. She wasn't naive to her team mates over protectiveness. When they were still genin, Kakashi had given a speech on how teenage boys only had one thing on their minds, with Sasuke and Naruto nodding seriously next to him. She was well aware that the reason she hadn't been asked out on many dates when she was younger was because her team mates had been scaring away any boy that was interested in her. She had let it slide years ago because it gave her fluttery feelings in her stomach knowing that Sasuke was protecting her and she liked to pretend that he did it because he was jealous.
But now it was just getting ridiculous.
"Guys, guys, calm down!" she shouted "it's alright, I'm still a virgin."
The men looked at her uncertainly. She groaned "I'm serious."
"No man has touched you…down there?" Kakashi asked sceptically.
The pinkette rolled her eyes. What idiots, "No Kakashi sensei, no one has touched me."
The three boys visibly sighed in relief. Sasuke cleared he throat trying to regain his composure. He wasn't entirely sure why he had reacted so badly, obviously Sakura would eventually have someone in her life and they would…
Even though he was trying to be reasonable, the thought only made Sasuke feel sick.
Naruto and Kakashi had been upset for an entirely different reason. In their minds, they had the perfect fairytale, where the brooding Uchiha and innocent medic would fall in love and live happily ever after. To think of Sakura with anyone other than Sasuke was just...wrong to them.
"Very well then…"the silver hair jounin muttered and consulted his book once again "Sakura, you walk into Naruto's room only to find him and Sasuke in bed together-"
"WHAT THE HELL KAKASHI!?" Naruto roared. What the hell was with these questions? There was no way that Naruto would ever…with…Sasuke…it was sick and wrong! Uzumaki Naruto was not gay for his best friend! Sasuke was his brother…that would be like…incest!
The Uchiha snarled "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
The young pinkette just blinked. She knew this whole thing was going to blow up in their faces.
"Simmer down boys," Kakashi simply chided "This is all hypothetical. Now Sakura, do you (a) leave the room quietly, do you (b) yell at them to get up, or do you (c) join them?"
She should have known this was where this was going. She glanced at her two boys. Naruto was twitching madly and Sasuke looked as though he was going to pounce on Kakashi any second now.
The Hatake seemed to be oblivious toward the boys' menacing glares "Well Sakura," he giggled perversely "What would you do?"
"Well I guess I'd probably join them."
Well that was unexpected. The three men openly gaped at her.
The young medic simply shrugged "Well, I suppose I have to lose my virginity one way or another."
Silence. Absolute silence. This whole training session was weird but…this…this was beyond comprehension to the males of team seven. They stared at their young female companion who had the most nonchalant expression on her face. Once she had said that, their brains had completely shut down.
Seconds passed like hours, until…
Sakura's face cracked into a wide grin and she threw her head back laughing.
"Oh god! You should have seen your faces! That was priceless!" she fell backwards and her whole body shook with laughter. "I can't believe you actually thought I was serious!"
The Uchiha was the first to recover from his shock. He shook his head violently trying to dispel the thoughts of the attractive pink haired woman seducing him into bed. He turned away from the howling girl on the floor and glared into the forest. How stupid…
Naruto was breathing heavily "Geeze Sakura-chan, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
She giggled, "Sorry Naruto, but I couldn't help it! It's too funny!"
Kakashi shook his head. That girl was crazy. Well at least his little plan had worked…though he didn't think that Sakura would reply like that…he glanced at the blonde who was still trying to calm himself down. He'd have something to talk to that boy about after they were done with...er…bonding time.
"Alright the final question is for you Naruto." Kakashi spoke up, trying to regain control of the situation.
"Yeah yeah, Kaka-sensei, get on with it…"
"You walk into the room to find Sakura and Sasuke in bed together-"
"I'm NOT joining them!" Naruto yelped. "Although, I think the real question is why is Sasuke sleeping with everyone?"
Sakura was blushing furiously and buried her face in her hands. The situation had quickly lost all of its humour and the girl had fallen silent.
Sasuke officially decided that he was going to kill Kakashi. Screw the probation, the copy-nin was a dead man.
The silver haired man laughed, "Actually no. What I was going to ask was," he glanced down at his book quickly, "Who is on top."
The medic's red face snapped up to glare at her sensei "What the hell!? How does this have anything to do with team work!? In fact, what do any of these questions have to do with team work?" She reached her arm out towards the Hatake, "Let me see that book!"
Kakashi chuckled uneasily and leaned away from the girl, "Now now…" he tried to reason with her, only to have the book snatched out of his hands by the Uchiha who had snuck up on him.
Before Sasuke could get a proper look at the small book Naruto interrupted him. "Hmm…I reckon Sakura-chan would be on top…"
"What the hell, dobe?!" the Uchiha spat out.
Sakura simply stared at the blonde incredulously.
Sasuke was about to smack the idiot with the book in his hand, until his eyes caught sight of some words printed on the back cover. "Icha Icha Publications…" he read out.
The pinkette blinked then whirled around furiously towards her sensei, "You were using your stupid porn book to teach us about teamwork!" she screeched.
Kakashi laughed uneasily "Well I think that's enough for today. You're dismissed." And with that he 'poof-ed' right out of there.
"Come back here, you pervert!" Sakura screeched and furiously stormed towards the village to find and mutilate the copy-nin. She was going to enjoy ripping that sicko, limb from limb.
Sasuke cringed at the book and promptly burned and destroyed the offending item with one of his fireballs.
Naruto strolled over to his friend, "Well that was…interesting?'
The Uchiha scoffed. He really hoped that Sakura got her hands on Kakashi.
"Hey, back at the bridge this morning," the blonde spoke up, trying to defuse the awkwardness of the situation, "were you and Sakura-chan actually, you know, getting along? Like, actually having a conversation?"
Sasuke thought back to the morning, "Aa." he said.
"What were you guys talking about?"
Before Sasuke could reply there was suddenly a 'poof' behind them and Kakashi reappeared.
Sasuke snarled, "Didn't Sakura kill you?"
Kakashi laughed "Not yet. But I have something important to talk to you two about. Naruto, may I have a look at the Hit List?"
The blonde fished the piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to the older man. Kakashi unfolded it and scanned his eye over the list until he spotted what he was looking for. He turned the page around so the two boys could see and pointed to the tenth requirement.
"Candidates must be…open to experimentation…" Naruto read out.
The Hatake grinned, "Sakura did just share with us that she was willing to…mix things up!"
'You do know she was kidding!" Sasuke snapped furiously. He could feel the back of his neck burning from embaressment. Why wouldn't these idiots just drop this?!
"Now Sasuke, everything a person says has a bit of truth laced through it" Kakashi said in a sing-song voice.
Naruto grinned and pulled out his pen "I accept it!" he said and crossed number ten out next to Sakura's name. "Six down for Sakura-chan, only fourteen more to go!"
The Uchiha growled in frustration then stormed off. He had more than enough of these idiots for one day. That had to be the most stupid training session he had ever had.
As Sasuke disappeared the blonde turned to the older man "Hey Kaka-sensei, this whole bonding session…this was all so you could prove that Sakura-chan had this qualification, wasn't it?"
The copy-nin laughed quietly, "It worked better than I thought. I didn't expect Sakura to come out and just say it. I thought I would have to do some convincing and ask her more questions."
"But why plan all of this?" the Uzumaki boy asked.
"One word Naruto." Kakashi said, "Grandchildren."
BOLD = SAKURA'S COMPLETED REQUIREMENTS
1. Be approved of by all members of teams seven, eight, ten, Gai, Kakashi and Taka (except Karin because she's a bitch.
2. Appreciate all members of the afore mentioned teams. (Once again with the exception of Karin, because no one could possibly like that bitch.)
3. Be beautiful/ sexy
4. Enjoy the taste of tomatoes
5. Be an exceptional kisser
6. Be intellectual
7. Have a kind and pure heart
8. Have great skills at handling infants and children (and Naruto)
9. Appreciate the amazing taste of Ichiraiku Ramen
10. Be open to…experimentation…
11. Be capable of defeating Shikamaru in a game of Shogi
12. Be an extraordinary cook
13. ..Be youthful…
14. Be a worthy sparring partner
15. Show kindness to every species of animal and insect
16. Smell nice…
17. Be a good friend
18. Have a melodic voice
19. Have an understanding nature (for when Sasuke becomes angsty)
20. …to be advised…
Happy 1 year anniversary! Thank you so much for reading and special thanks to everyone who reviewed! Only up to chapter 13 and I've already gotten more than 200 reviews! I got 30 reviews for the last chapter! Wow! And there have been some very exciting messages about Hit List! Also to everyone who's been messaging me, you guys are awesome and I love talking to you! Special mention to HiddenCamellia, you have made me obsessed with Kuroshitsuji…I hate you…(that was I lie, I love you and I love talking to you!) and also to golden doe, AUSSIE PRIDE! Hope the weather gets better for you and there aren't any more horrible bushfires.
P.S. I have tumblr now…capnjackelback . tumblr . com ….so …yeah…I have no idea what I'm doing…
I'm really glad you guys like Hit List so far and I really hoped you enjoyed the latest chapter.
Naruto© is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No infringement of copyright is intended