******Hi people! Today is my 1 year anniversary of signing up on Fanfic! :D So I thought today would be a good day to update TTWU and Crash. I am also probably going to post a new story that is a Law and Order: CI story. Yay!

Also I just wanted to say how much Fanfic has changed my life since I first found out about this site. I was on youtube and there was a person who was known as BensonFan711 who posted a trailer for her story Lioness that was on this site. I checked it out, fell in love with it, and started looking at other people's stories. Author's like:

SVU Productions


SashaRizzoli (known at the time as .Fanx8x) *Her pen name inspired me with mine.




Soon afterwards, I created Crash and it took a long time to gather up courage to post it here. When I did though, I got 6 reviews two hours after it came on the site. The rest it history...

So, story time is over. Now it's time for you all to read chapter 9 of TTWU (later chapters 10, 11, and 12) and the rest of Crash. And possibly a new story!

Enjoy and REVIEW! Please! If you know someone who might be intrested in this story, or the other stories in this series, please get them to R and R!

Here is Chapter 9!

Chapter 9:

Didn't eat dinner. Didn't feel up to it. Besides, dinner was pasta that was wicked salty and it looked like worms. I don't understand why Mom didn't talk to me. She called the hospital, and asked to talk to me...but why didn't she actually talk when I came on the phone? She is embarrassed by me! She probably is ashamed that I developed an eating disorder. She...hates...me.

It is now bedtime. Everything before that went on, went on like a blur. I am so tired...I want to sleep forever. Once I get to bed though, I am wide awake. I stare at the ceiling, hoping that if I concentrate on it, I would just close my eyes and go to sleep. I did not want to have to take sleeping pills again...but in a way, if I took those pills, maybe when I close my eyes, I won't see...them. Raping me all over again. I run my thumb over a long scar on my wrist which reminded me of the..."wrist incident". If there was anything sharp in this room, I would most likely try to slit my wrists again...and try to succeed. If I slit my wrists though, I know someone would catch me. This hospital is full of security and cameras are EVERYWHERE. At the same time, I think about what I'll miss if I die. I would miss...Manhattan, school, my friends Lolah and Jenna, Times Square, Broadway Musicals, Coney Island... What I would miss the most...is food. I plan out an entire list of favorite foods. Shepard's Pie, Fish and Chips, hot cheesy Pizza, Potatoes, Hot Dogs. Desserts like: Apple Pie, Ice Cream, Pastries, Cookies, and anything with Chocolate! From what all the girls tell me, the restuarants in New Jersey are so simple. The ones in New York are multi-cultural. My favorite is a restuarant called Colors. I remember the day I went to that place.


Mom took me to see The Blue Man Group off Broadway for my 12th birthday. I remember how much fun Mom and I had that day. The whole show was awesome! All over the auditorium were rolls of toilet paper and Mom and I wondered why those were there. Later during the show, the whole audience got toilet papered! The paper shot out from its rolls and covered the audience with it! When the show was done, across the street was this restaurant called Colors. Mom and I decided to try it out and boy, what a surprise we got. The food was AMAZING.

They had homemade potato chips with delicious humus or guacamole as dip. I had this amazing steak with potatoes and Mom had a cheese enchilada. I tried my first Shirley Temple, not realizing that it was just Sprite with a cherry flavoring. For dessert, there was this chocolate cake that had a hot chocolate fudge or pudding that melted in your mouth with each bite you took. I have never tasted a chocolate cake that was this good before!

Afterwards, instead of going home, Mom took me to the beach at Coney Island, not caring how late it was! It was so cool outside and the sand beneath my toes was cold, but what a great feeling that was. Mom's long caramel hair and my own same-colored hair blew in the wind as we ran around, playing like four year olds. My own mother, Olivia Benson, the strongest and the most serious detective in all of New York, running around like a four year old was a sight to see! We then fell back onto the sand and laughed until our bellies hurt. When we were able to regain composure, Mom grabbed my hand and gripped it tightly, saying,

"Next to the day you were born, this was the best day of my life,"

"Agreed!" I responded. The night was so clear, we were able to see the stars, shining in the sky. We layed there for a while, just pointing at stars and making up constillations. At one point I saw a shooting star.

"Mommy? Was that Grandma?" I asked. Mom was silent. I notice her eyes were a little wet.

"Yeah...that was Grandma," Mom answered, sitting up. I copied her and noticed a single tear fall down her olive-toned cheek. I thought that I had made her cry.

"I'm sorry Mommy. I didn't mean to make you cry," I said, feeling very guilty. Mom came closer to me and pulled me into her arms. I curled up into them, even though I was starting to get too big for that.

"Don't ever apologize my Rosie. It was a terrible tragety, but at least it wasn't you...t-that went to heaven,"


"Yes love?"

"Promise me one thing,"

"Anything," I curled up closer to Mom.

"Promise me that you'll never go away," Mom holds me tighter. She runs her fingers through my now-sandy hair.

"I promise my baby. Promise me one thing too,"

"What is it?"

"Promise me that you'll never go away. Be my little girl forever,"

"But Mommy...one day I'm going to grow up and be a grown up like you,"

"I know, but right now...don't ever change," Mom says, her voice cracking a little bit.

"Don't cry Mommy," I say, sitting up. "I won't ever go away. I would miss you more than anything in the whole wide world,"

"I would miss you too baby. More than anything in the whole universe,"

I don't even realize that I had fallen asleep...

One more thing! I have stopped getting emails from fanfic. All my alert settings are on and i checked to make sure Fanfic was on my 'Safe List' but nothing has changed. Help! (I have been going paranoid for weeks now that nobody loves my stories anymore)