WWE-PG-HATER – First off, I agree with your screen name. Second, what did Claude have to do to earn it? Get thrown down five flights of stairs and lose to Deadpool? ;)
At any rate, following a series of FORTUNATE life events (which I'll get to later), the 1000th episode of Monday Night Raw, and the amazing epicness of The Dark Knight Rises, comes part one of the go-home edition of XCW Monday Night Massacre! This episode takes place BEFORE the AWF Christmas Supershow, just letting you all know. I only own my championships.
The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.
"We are just six days away from Endgame! What will happen tonight here in Amity Park, as tempers continue to flare between challengers and champions? Hello again, everybody! I'm Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight, Shake, I have a feeling that tonight, everything is gonna hit the fan with Endgame only less than a week away!"
"So do I, Early!" Shake said in agreement. "Tonight, just six days away from his match against a mystery opponent, Tommy Vercetti looks to weaken the PBS Kid Arthur, before his Triple Threat match against his friend Claude Speed at Endgame!"
"And will things explode even more between Tai Kamiya and the World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield here tonight?" Early asked. "We'll find out as the night progresses!"
Suddenly, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome, the interim commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .JON ARBUCKLE!"
The crowd erupted into boos as Jon Arbuckle walked onto the stage with the XCW Hardcore Championship draped over his shoulder.
"But we start off with a couple announcements from our interim commissioner!" Early said. "However, Shake, I don't know if he can make any announcement bigger than the ones he made last week!"
Jon Arbuckle walked down the ramp and entered the ring with a microphone in hand. He scanned the crowd as they continued to boo.
"I don't either, Early!" Shake said in agreement. "He stripped Tommy Vercetti of the XCW Hardcore Championship, made a fatal four way match for it at Endgame, and put Tommy Vercetti in a one-on-one match against a mystery opponent. But the biggest change he made to Endgame was turning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship match between Garfield and Tai into a No-Disqualification match! I can only imagine what he has to say here tonight!"
"Ladies and gentlemen. . ." Jon said, but was immediately cut off by boos from the crowd. "My name is Jonathan Q. Arbuckle. And as the interim commissioner of XCW, I have a couple major announcements to make."
Jon lowered the microphone and looked at the fans who chanted "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" Jon stared at them with a look of disdain as he began to speak again.
"You people may boo me now, but you're gonna love this first announcement. Right before Endgame, I received an offer from Nazirul Takashi of AWF, and there was no way I could refuse it, because it came with enough Italian food to feed your World Heavyweight Champion breakfast this morning. But very soon, the Toon WWE Hardcore Champion, Claude Speed. . ."
The crowd erupted into cheers upon Claude's mention.
". . .will be defending the Toon Hardcore Championship under the 24/7 rule on a neutral field. . .the field of AWF! Because he and your favorite XCW wrestlers will be appearing on the AWF Christmas Supershow!"
The crowd erupted into a chant of "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"
"We would've allowed XCW's Hardcore Championship to be defended under the famous rule, but due to the events of last week, the belt does not have a champion. However, a new champion will be decided in what will now be a Seven-Way match at Endgame! But tonight, there will be a tag team match involving four of the seven participants of that match! And this tag match will start. . .RIGHT NOW! Thank you very much!"
Jon Arbuckle left the ring as Plankton entered it from the other side.
"Well, right now we're about to find out who will be involved in the Hardcore Championship seven-way match, but Shake, the bigger news is that XCW will be taking part in AWF's Christmas Supershow!"
"XCW was victorious in CWF's Supershow. . .what's gonna happen in this one?" Shake wondered. "I can't wait!"
Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand as Arbuckle made his way back to the backstage area.
"The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!"
Plankton paused as. . .
"Tank!" by The Seatbelts played! Spike Spiegel strode down the ramp with a lit cigarette in his mouth to a mixed reaction.
"Introducing first. . .from Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!"
"Spike Spiegel was a former Hardcore Champion and had a memorable Championship match against Claude Speed at XCW's first-ever pay-per-view!" Early said, as Spike flicked the cigarette butt toward the barricade and walked up the steel steps, entering the ring.
"As a former Hardcore Champion, Spike has an advantage in the seven-way match already." Shake said. "Who else will be in the match with him?"
All the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly. . .an ambulance siren went off, as the crowd erupted into cheers! "YOU EEEEEEEDIOT!" came from the titantron, followed by Scott Steiner's TNA theme, which played throughout the arena, with pyro going off on the stage! Stimpy walked on the stage and down the ramp with Ren right behind him!
"And his partner. . .being accompanied to the ring by Ren. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .STIMPY!"
"Ren and Stimpy have come to be masters of using tables as weapons!" Early said, "This makes Stimpy a for-sure favorite in this seven-way match!"
Stimpy entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, with Kenny McCormick looking on from a corner.
"These two are looking to test the waters in singles competition here in XCW!" Shake said. "And there's no opportunity better than our Hardcore division!"
"Amerika" by Rammstein played as Solid Snake stepped down the ramp towards the ring.
"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from The United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!"
The crowd gave a mixed reaction to Snake, who glared around at the audience members before finally staring Spike and Stimpy down.
"Between the three competitors so far, Snake and Spike have the most experience in the Hardcore division!" Early said.
"Snake is a two-time Hardcore Champion, Spike only winning the title on one occasion." informed Shake. "With just those two in this match, the arena could turn into a war zone on Sunday!"
"And his partner. . ." Plankton announced right before. . .
"John The Fisherman" by Primus played! Odie ran onto the stage to massive boos from the crowd!
"From Muncie, Indiana. . .ODIE!"
"Are you kidding me?" Early cried. "Arbuckle's henchman is in the Hardcore title match at Endgame?"
"I'm shocked, too, Early!" Shake said. "I'm surprised he recovered from his concussions so quickly!"
"I am too, Shake, and I'm being informed right now that the other three men in the seven-way Hardcore title match at Endgame are Kevin, Kenny McCormick, and Rolf from D-Ed!" Early informed. "And they'll be facing off against each other in an intergender six-person tag team match later tonight, which will feature Rolf teaming up with Ed and Nazz against Kenny, Kevin and the new Women's Champion, Peach!"
"That'll be an interesting match-up, for sure!" Shake said. "But we've got a good one about to start right here, right now!"
The bell rang and the match began with Spike facing off against Odie. Spike ran toward Odie and took him down hard with a High Knee! Spike then picked Odie up and nailed him in the face repeatedly with right hand after right hand! Spike then Irish whipped Odie against the ropes, and on the bounceback, Spike nailed him in the gut with a huge kick! Odie then crawled toward the ropes and tagged in Snake. Snake then entered the ring and he and Spike got into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Snake put Spike into a headlock and took him down with a snapmare, then nailed him with a kick to the back. Spike stood up to his feet, selling his back as he turned around to face Snake again. Snake however, Irish whipped Spike toward the ropes, and took him down with a huge elbow to the face on the bounceback! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out!
Snake brought Spike back up to a standing position, only for Spike to fight back with a right hand to Snake's face. Spike hit Snake in the face with right hand after right hand until he came up against the ropes behind him. Spike then tagged in Stimpy, who leapt onto the turnbuckle and in front of him and took Snake down with a Flying Crossbody! Stimpy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out! Stimpy picked Snake up to his feet only for Snake to knee Stimpy in the gut and take him down with a Gutbuster! Snake then ran against the ropes behind him and nailed Stimpy with a falling knee to the face! Snake went for the cover again 1. . . 2. . .Stimpy kicked out! Snake then pulled Stimpy up and went for the Sleeper Hold but Stimpy countered it into a side headlock takedown! Stimpy then ran against the ropes behind him and went for the Stimpy Splash but Snake rolled out of the way, sending Stimpy to land face-first onto the mat! Snake then ran toward Stimpy and took him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicked out!
"Snake taking it to the former tag team champion!" Early said.
Snake then picked Stimpy back up to his feet and put him in a front face lock. Snake then lifted him up. . .
. . .and took him down with a Texas Piledriver! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicked out! Snake couldn't believe it!
Snake then lifted Stimpy back up to his feet and locked in the sleeper hold! Stimpy gasped and fought for air but to no avail. Snake brought Stimpy down to one knee, clenching the hold tighter and tighter as the referee asked Stimpy if he wanted to quit. Stimpy shook his head no and reached for the ropes in front of him. . .only to grow fainter and fainter. . .the referee raised Stimpy's hand once before dropping it. . . .and letting it fall to his sides limply. The referee picked it up and dropped it once more. . .
. . .only for Stimpy to immediately raise it back up and pull himself back up to a standing position with Snake still latching onto the hold! Stimpy elbowed Snake multiple times in the chest before nailing him with an elbow to the temple to finally break the hold! Stimpy kicked Snake in the midsection and took Snake down with a thunderous DDT! Both men were down in the center of the ring and crawling to their corners to make a tag!
"Both men are down! Who's gonna make the tag first? Stimpy to Spike, or Snake to Odie?" asked Shake, while Snake looked at Odie back in the ring with a look of anger on his face.
"Snake looks like he doesn't want to tag in Odie, as it's a guaranteed loss!" Early said. "What will happen?"
Spike slammed his foot down repeatedly on the mat while Odie reached out for a tag. Stimpy extended his hand out. . .and made the tag to Spike! Snake pulled himself up with the ropes once making it to his corner. . .
. . .but Odie made a blind tag in!
"BUT ODIE MAKES THE TAG ANYWAY, MUCH TO SNAKE'S DISSATISFACTION!" screamed Early, as Odie leapt onto the turnbuckle and jumped off the top rope for a crossbody. . .
. . .ONLY FOR SPIKE TO CLOCK HIM IN THE FACE WITH REAL FOLK BLUES! Spike went for the cover 1. . .
2. . .
. . .3!
Snake rolled out of the ring while Spike stood up and raised an arm above his head in celebration as the bell rang!
"Here are your winners. . .the team of STIMPY AND SPIKE SPIEGEL!"
Before the referee could raise Spike's arm in victory, Snake slid back into the ring. . .
. . .and nailed Spike in the face with a kendo stick! Snake turned around and hit Odie across the back with the kendo stick repeatedly while Stimpy had come to stand right behind him, waiting for him to turn around! Snake eventually turned around, and Stimpy went for the Log Cutter. . .
. . .but Snake shoved Stimpy toward the ropes, and nailed him in the face with the kendo stick! Snake held the kendo stick high above his head with a look of contempt on his face as the crowd hit him with a chorus of boos.
"Spike and Stimpy got the win tonight, but in the end, Solid Snake is the last man standing!" Early said.
"Even in a straight-up tag match, things got ugly!" Shake said, as Snake left the ring with bodies strewn around the mat. "What will happen when seven men fight for the Hardcore title in a match where no holds are barred, and falls count anywhere?" Spike pulled himself up with the ropes and stared Snake down as the show went to the backstage area.
In a training room, Tommy Vercetti sat on a medical bed with a doctor in front of him, and Sora Takenouchi laying on a separate bed next to him.
"You're good to go for tonight, Tommy." said the doctor before leaving the room. Tommy nodded in satisfaction, but clenched his abdomen.
"How did you feel after your ribs were bruised?" Tommy asked, turning to Sora.
"Like I was thrown onto a car." Sora responded with a smile. Tommy narrowed his eyes.
"Oh, ha ha. Very funny."
Tommy stepped off the bed and turned to Sora. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a match to prepare for." Tommy turned around and left the room, as Carl Brutanandilewski walked into the room and up to Sora with a microphone in hand.
"Excuse me, Sora Takenouchi, if I may ask, are you and Tai going to AWF's Christmas Supershow and if so, will you be competing?"
"You know it!" Sora answered assuredly. "As far as competition goes, if I'm medically cleared in time, I will be fighting. If not, at least Tai and I get to see old friends."
"And that brings me to my next question." Carl said. "Christmas is an important time in everyone's lives, but you and Tai have a history around the festive holiday, one that includes a time where you turned him down, and broke his heart. Do you have anything to say about that?" Sora's smile fell into a stoic look.
"Yes, I do." Sora answered, before smiling again. "That was then, and this is now, and right now, he and I are together, and we are focused and ready for this Sunday. Peach and I have a history going back to this company's beginnings. She was and still is a disgrace to the Women's Championship, and this Sunday, healthy or not, I will show Peach what makes a real champion. And after Endgame, Tai and I will go on become the most dominant champions of our respective divisions in this industry today, and show every company out there that being faces doesn't make us weak or uninteresting. It makes us better!"
Sora looked at Carl with a stern but confident look on her face as the show went to a commercial break.
As the show came back from a commercial break, "What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd posed on the stage!
"Up next we have an epic six-man tag team match!" Shake said, as Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.
"The following six-man tag team match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .Elmer Fudd. . .Daffy Duck. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Television Champion, Bugs Bunny. . .THE LOONEY TUNES!"
"Epic is the right word to describe it, Shake!" Early said as Bugs, Daffy and Elmer walked down the ramp, with Bugs leading the way. "Both teams in this match tonight have a multitude of tag team championships between them!"
Bugs, Daffy and Elmer entered the ring and each posed on a turnbuckle.
"And each team in this match has members that are competing in huge title matches this Sunday at Endgame!" Shake said, as the Looney Tunes stepped back onto the mat and. . .
. . ."What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played! Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski stepped onto the stage, saluting the crowd, who gave them a mixed reaction.
"And their opponents. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .the team of KYLE BROFLOVSKI. . .THE ENFORCER, ERIC CARTMAN. . .AND STAN MARSH!"
"While Bugs of the Looney Tunes can add an impressive victory as World Television Champion at Endgame, Stan and Cartman of the South Park Four can add another Tag Team Championship to the list of titles they've won over the course of their careers in fiction wrestling, this Sunday when they take on D-Generation Ed!" informed Early.
Stan, Kyle and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles.
"Both will be huge matches, for sure!" said Shake. "But both Bugs and the South Park Four better not let their respective opponents this Sunday get in their way of winning this match!"
The bell rang and the match began with Kyle Broflovski facing off against Elmer Fudd. Elmer and Kyle charged toward each other and met up into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Elmer spun around to put Kyle in a waist-lock but Kyle countered it by taking Elmer down with a fireman's carry. Kyle quickly pulled Elmer back up to his feet and socked him in the face with a series of right hands. Kyle then Irish whipped Elmer toward the ropes behind him. . .only for Elmer to counter with an Irish whip of his own! As Kyle bounced back, Elmer took him down with a kick to the gut! Elmer quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kyle kicked out! Elmer pulled Kyle up to his feet only for Kyle to shove him, then tie him up in a front face lock. Kyle went for a piledriver but Elmer fought out of it and took Kyle down with a back body drop! Elmer then ran against the ropes behind him and took him down with a falling elbow! Elmer went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kyle kicked out! Elmer pulled Kyle up and drug him to the Looney Tunes corner, where he tagged in Daffy. Elmer threw Kyle into the corner and he and Daffy stomped a mudhole into Kyle until he fell into a seated position.
Daffy pulled Kyle up to his feet and Irish whipped him into the opposite corner, where Stan quickly blind tagged himself in once Kyle hit the corner. Daffy took down Kyle with a clothesline in the corner, before Stan came up from behind him and took him down with a reverse DDT! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Stan pulled Daffy back up to a standing position and tied him up in the center of the ring. Stan put Daffy into a side headlock and took him down with a side headlock takedown, then wrenched onto his neck before going for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Stan pulled Daffy up to his feet and lifted him up for a Back Drop, only for Daffy to fall out of it and take Stan down with a German suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!
"This has been a hard fought six-man tag team match so far!" Early said. "Who will gain the upper hand?"
Stan and Daffy rose up to their feet and charged toward each other and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Daffy put Stan in a waist-lock only for Stan to counter it into a waist-lock of his own, and this time, successfully take Daffy down with a Back Drop! Stan pulled Daffy up to his feet, lifted him up and took him down with a Scoop Slam, then picked up him again to take him down with a Northern Lights suplex! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Stan grabbed Daffy's legs and went to put him in the Sharpshooter. . .
. . .but Daffy kicked Stan off him, sending him toward the ropes behind him. As Stan bounced back, Daffy picked Stan up and took him down with a Powerslam! Both men were down in the center of the ring, crawling toward their corners for a tag!
"Both of these men are down! Who will make the tag first in this match of prestigious tag teams?" wondered Shake, as Daffy and Stan extended their hands. . .
. . .inched closer to their corners. . .
. . .and successfully tagged in Bugs and Cartman! They charged toward each other and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring!
"Bugs Bunny is the current XCW World Television Champion; Eric Cartman the WWT National Champion. Which of these current champions will gain the victory for their team?" asked Early, as Bugs lifted Cartman up for a suplex! Cartman, however, dropped out of it and took Bugs down with a suplex of his own! Cartman then pulled Bugs up and Irish whipped him toward the ropes, and took him down with a Shoulder Block on the bounceback! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out! Cartman stepped off Bugs and taunted for him to get up.
"Cartman may be looking for the South Park Stunner here!" Early exclaimed as Bugs rose up to his feet, and Cartman kicked him in the midsection. . .
. . .but Bugs shoved Cartman toward the ropes! As Cartman bounced back, however, he took Bugs down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away on his face with quick right and left hands! Cartman ran against the ropes behind him and landed a falling elbow to his sternum! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!
Cartman stood up to his feet and waited for Bugs to stumble up to his feet. Bugs stood up and Cartman went to kick Bugs in the midsection. . .
. . .but Bugs grabbed Cartman's leg in time to sweep them out from under him! Bugs then positioned himself in front of a corner, and took Cartman out with a slingshot onto the corner! Cartman stumbled around the ring in a daze until Bugs set him up for a powerbomb. . .
. . .lifted him up. . .
. . .and slammed Cartman down to the mat with the Bunny Bomb! However, a familiar face ran down the ramp toward the ring. . .
"WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S ARTHUR!" Early screamed, as Arthur slid into the ring and took Bugs down with a clothesline, forcing the referee to call for the bell!
"Damn it! A great match spoiled by the PBS Kid Arthur!" yelled Early, as Arthur took Bugs down with the Final Chapter! Daffy and Elmer charged into the ring toward the PBS Kid but Arthur took Daffy down with a dropkick, and tackled Elmer out of the ring with a clothesline! Arthur turned around and pushed Cartman out of the ring with a tackle and a clothesline! Stan and Kyle collected Cartman at the ringside area and walked backwards up the ramp.
"This is bullcrap!" yelled Stan as Arthur continued the assault on Bugs with another Final Chapter! After the attack, Arthur received a microphone from the timekeeper while boos erupted from the crowd.
"You two teams have a lot in common." Arthur said. "You both have been on the air for a long period of time, and are still going strong even today. You both are two of the most decorated tag teams in the history of this business. And you two come from some of the most violent and obscene television shows of all time! That's why between you two teams, there shouldn't have been a winner tonight, and neither of you two deserved a victory!"
Arthur paused as the crowd booed and chanted "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" Meanwhile, Bugs rolled out of the ring and stared Arthur down angrily.
"So right now, you all are about to see a match that deserves to be seen, a match that will include a victory that deserves to be had! My victory against a man known as 'The Harwood Butcher'. . ."
The crowd cheered upon mention of Tommy's nickname.
"Another man known for acts of violence, theft, and criminal acts that didn't deserve the title he once held! Just like how you, Bugs, don't deserve yours. And Bugs, after I defeat Tommy Vercetti tonight, at Endgame I will finally put an end to the era of violence in animation that you started by defeating both you, and Tommy's partner-in-crime, by becoming the new World Television Champion!"
Arthur threw the microphone out of the ring and waited patiently for Tommy as the show went to the backstage area.
Jon Arbuckle sat at his desk in his office on a cellular phone.
"You're bringing him, too?" Jon asked, as Claude Speed opened the door and barged up to the desk with an angry look on his face and the Toon WWE Hardcore title around his waist. Jon looked up at Claude with an annoyed look before going back to his phone.
"Great! I can't wait to see you this Sunday!" Jon said before hanging up the phone.
"What do you want?" snapped Jon, who looked up at Claude with a sneer.
"I want to know why you're putting my Toon Hardcore Championship on the line 24/7 at the AWF Supershow, that's what I want to know!" Claude yelled back.
"First of all, Mr. Speed, on a business perspective, since our Hardcore title is vacant until Endgame, we don't have a Hardcore title to put on the line 24/7! I could only persuade GB to allow me to put that rule on the title for one night only, and there's no better night than at a Supershow, because XCW gets more publicity and recognition that way!
But on a personal perspective, let me be quite honest with you. I didn't take too kindly how you had the audacity to put yourself into the World Television Championship match at Endgame, OR make your own match! You think that just because you brought the Toon Hardcore title to XCW, that you can not only call the shots, but also guarantee that you will win the World Heavyweight Championship? You have to go through me first!"
"I earned the right to fight for the TV title by winning this!" Claude said, as he raised the Toon Hardcore title belt up to his head. "Do you have any idea how much blood I lost in my match against Deadpool? I have another transfusion scheduled for this Thursday!"
"Things have changed during your absence, Mr. Speed! I run things around here now, and if anyone defies me, they will suffer the consequences-"
Jon's eyes suddenly widen as if an idea had just came to mind. He looked up at Claude with a wide, mischievous grin.
"-you know what? Forgive me. You HAVE earned the right to fight for the World Television Championship at Endgame. But to keep your spot, I want you to do something for me. And that is dish out those consequences in tonight's main event. . .which will feature you in a Hardcore match. . .against the number one contender for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .Tai Kamiya! What do you say to that?"
Claude stands up straight and looks up at the ceiling deep in thought.
"Well. . .it IS a tune-up match for Endgame. . ."
"Excellent!" Jon said. "The match is booked for tonight! I wish you the best of luck!"
Claude looked at Jon with a puzzled look on his face.
"Why are you still standing there? Go prepare for your match! I'm busy."
Claude reluctantly nodded his head and left the room as the show went to a commercial break.
As the show returned from a commercial break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table at ringside.
"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, I can't believe the main event that Arbuckle set up for tonight!" Early said.
"I can believe it, Early!" answered Shake. "It's such a blockbuster match! Who knows what'll happen between Tai and Claude in a Hardcore match?"
"I'll tell you what Jon wants to happen: for Claude to beat the living daylights out of his housepet's opponent at Endgame!" Early said. "Jon's setting out to destroy Tai physically and emotionally one last time before he faces Garfield for the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday, and he's forcing Claude to be the one to do it!"
"Claude made the decision on his own, Early! Besides, he needs to warm up for the World Television Championship Triple Threat match this Sunday against Bugs Bunny and the man in the ring right now: Arthur!"
Arthur stood in the ring looking down the ramp in anticipation as Plankton made the announcement.
"The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Elwood City. . .ARTHUR!"
"The Looney Tunes had their six-man tag team match won before the commercial break, but this man, Arthur, interfered and laid out the World Television Champion! And nobody here liked it one damn bit!" Early said.
"He was sending a message to the World Television Champion, Early!" Shake said. "And he'll send an emphatic message to Claude Speed after defeating his partner-in-crime here tonight!"
"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as Tommy Vercetti rode down the ramp inside a Blista Compact car to cheers from the crowd.
"And his opponent. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"
Tommy drove the car around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp.
"Tommy Vercetti is not a happy man these days, and that's putting it mildly!" informed Early. "He would regain XCW's Hardcore Championship from Odie last week, only for interim commissioner Jon Arbuckle to strip it from him, because Odie was never medically cleared to compete. Arbuckle also put the Harwood Butcher in a one-on-one match at Endgame against a mystery opponent!"
"And now he's in a match against a red-hot PBS kid!" Shake said, as Tommy Vercetti got out of the car and entered the ring above the bottom rope, immediately charging after Arthur and taking him down with a Lou Thesz Press! Tommy hammered away at Arthur's face with furious right and left hands as the bell rang and the match began!
"But Tommy is red-hot with anger!" Early declared, as Tommy pulled Arthur up by the shirt collar and threw him face-first into a corner. Tommy grabbed Arthur by the back of his head and rammed his face into the top turnbuckle five times, with the crowd counting along! Tommy went to slam Arthur's face again, but Arthur surprised Tommy with an elbow to the gut, then took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Arthur stood up and repeatedly kicked Tommy in the gut! Tommy winced in agonizing pain as Arthur brought him up to his feet again, and landed a right hand to Tommy's face, which sent him reeling against the ropes behind him. Arthur then ran toward Tommy and nailed him with a clothesline that sent him toppling over the ropes and down to the ringside area! Arthur then climbed onto the top turnbuckle. . .waited for Tommy to stand up. . .leapt off the top rope for a moonsault. . .
. . .only for Tommy to catch him and take him down with a Standing Spinebuster! Both men were down on the concrete floor as the referee began the ten count! Tommy rose up to his feet first and lifted Arthur up by his collar. Tommy Irish whipped Arthur, and he slammed against the steel steps with a sickening thud! Tommy then pulled Arthur back up to his feet and rammed him head first into the steel post!
"The Harwood Butcher beginning to regain his footing and take out his frustrations on the PBS Kid!" Early commented, as Tommy pulled Arthur up and threw him against the announcer's table! The referee's count reached to five at this point. Tommy Vercetti then backed up toward the corner and charged toward Arthur, successfully landing a high knee to his face! Arthur flew over the announcer's table and came in between Early and Shake!
"Good grief! Tommy's relentless!" Shake said, as Tommy put Arthur in a headlock and pulled him toward the ring apron, just as the referee's count reached nine. Tommy pushed Arthur back into the ring under the bottom rope and slid in after him. Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out! Tommy grabbed Arthur by the shirt and lifted him up to a standing position. . .only to knock him back down with a massive Clothesline! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur somehow kicked out! Tommy pulled Arthur back up. . .only for Arthur to surprise Tommy with an inside cradle pin attempt! The referee made the count. . .as Arthur hung his feet up on the ropes behind him for leverage! 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out, and shot up to look at Arthur with a malicious glare! Arthur ran toward Tommy and hit him with a high knee, then put him in a front face lock. Arthur went for a DDT but Tommy countered it with a punch to the midsection. Tommy then hooked Arthur's arms and took Arthur down with a Double Arm DDT! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.5 Arthur kicked out! Tommy couldn't believe it! He nailed Arthur in the back with a kick then landed another kick to his chest, sending him back down to the mat. Tommy raised a fist above his head, inciting the crowd to cheer.
"Tommy Vercetti on the verge of putting Arthur away!" declared Early, as Tommy taunted for Arthur to stand up. As Arthur latched onto the ropes and struggled to pull himself up, suddenly. . .
. . .pyro went off on the titantron!
"Wait a minute. . ." Early said, as Tommy looked at the stage in confusion. The pyro continued to go off as if it were in unison to a certain song. . .
"What the hell's going on here?" wondered Early until the pyro subsided. Tommy looked at the titantron in bewilderment. . .
. . .until Arthur came up from behind Tommy and took him down with the Final Chapter!
"NO! ARTHUR SNUCK UP ON THE HARWOOD BUTCHER!"
Arthur went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
"NO! NOT THIS WAY!"
2. . .
. . .3!
Arthur stood up and looked at the crowd, smirking and raising his hands above his head as the bell rang.
"Here is your winner. . .ARTHUR!"
"DAMN IT! THE PBS KID STOLE ONE YET AGAIN!" screamed Early as Arthur posed triumphantly in the ring while the crowd erupted into a chorus of boos.
"He didn't steal one, Early!" Shake said. "Tommy got distracted, and Arthur struck at the right place and time! That's how the best wrestlers win; they take advantage of opportunity! And we'll see more of that this Sunday at Endgame, when Arthur becomes the new World Television Champion!"
Arthur left the ring and walked up the ramp, laughing triumphantly as he stared down Tommy, who had pulled himself up to a standing position with the ropes. Tommy stared up at the titantron with an angry grimace.
"My only question now, Early, is this: whose pyro was that?" Shake asked.
"I have no idea, Shake!" answered the play-by-play announcer. "But what I do know is that this Sunday at Endgame, whoever Tommy Vercetti's facing in a one-on-one match will have a tough test ahead of him. Because an angry Harwood Butcher won't hold anything back!"
The angry stare never left Tommy's face as the show went to the backstage area.
In a locker room, Tai Kamiya did sit-ups with a stoic, focused look on his face while Carl Brutanandilewski entered the room with a microphone in hand.
"Tai Kamiya. . ." Carl said, ". . .later on tonight, you take one final test before your World Heavyweight Championship match at Endgame by facing Claude Speed in a Hardcore match, made earlier tonight by Jon Arbuckle. Do you feel like he is just piling on the punishment?"
Tai continued to do sit-ups, ignoring Carl.
"I only ask because Claude is a master of fighting under Hardcore rules, and you've never faced him before."
Tai pretended Carl wasn't even there, still doing sit-ups.
"You've certainly got a lot on your mind, obviously with Davis in WWE and this Sunday with Garfie-"
Tai suddenly stood up and came face-to-face with Carl.
"First off, Davis will come around eventually!" Tai said, snapping with anger. "Right now, ALL my focus is on tonight and this Sunday. And like last week, if Arbuckle tries anything funny again, whether it be tonight or this Sunday, he's gonna get more than just the Crossface. He's gonna get a reality check, and the biggest asskicking of his life!"
Tai glared at Carl with a menacing stare as he left the room.
"Intense words from the number one contender!" said Early.
"I don't know who's in more trouble tonight: Tai or Claude!" Shake exclaimed.
Tai dropped back down to the floor and started doing push-ups as Massacre went to a commercial break.
Alrighty, there's part one. As always, let me know if there's anything at all I can do to improve my promo writing, or anything, really.
However, allow me to let you guys know a fun fact about me: I work in film and video production, and I've been getting a lot of work recently in it! But don't worry, readers, because my tentative plan is to write at least one match a day, and/or update at least once a week. If there comes a period where I don't update for longer than that, I'm just very busy. But I am committed to XCW and will update when I can! I have way too many angles and matches that I want to write, and I will find the time to write them and publish new chapters. That is a promise!
Part two will come soon, in the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!