Sometimes, I wonder why I fell for Nny. Then I remember, I fell for him because I truly love him, as messed up our love may be. I wonder maybe life could get better and the fear would be gone if I were with him, but, then again... What if he kills me in my sleep? Would he do that? I don't know. God, I hope not. He might.

There goes my paranoia again.

Damn.

I laid in bed. It's 2 a.m. in the morning. I can't sleep, my brain is racing with thoughts. Kissing Nny was awkward, but when I'm with him I don't really need a physical relationship. It was great before. Why can't it be great now? Because of me. Me and my mind. My paranoid, messed up little cavern of a mind. Maybe I did something to make him want to kill me? Was it something I said? What the hell would provoke him to get knives though? Maybe leaning in for that kiss is what pushed it. I don't know. Maybe... Maybe I could give it another chance. And, well, if this goes wrong I could always smash his face in a mirror again, granted I have one at the time.

Is he doing anything right now? Maybe he's thinking about me.

Yeah, right.

You know what? I'm gonna call off work today. Wait for Nny there, he might walk by. We could hang out. He knows my work times. I smiled a bit, despite my brain telling me not to. Today's going to be a good day - heck, a great day. Fuck it, world, I'm done being afraid. Damn-it, Johnny, if only you knew what you do to me and my messed up little mind. I love you.


A/N: ;3; Hey there, all. I'm sorry this took forever to upload, but I promised I would and I did. I'm so sorry though ;_; And sorry it's short. Yes, this will be the last chapter. This is the first fanfic I ever wrote (well, the first fanfic idea I had and actually wrote), and I can see so much improvement from them to now. Thank you so much for reading, you guys are the best. ;w; You give me the fuel I need to continue writing. Have a wonderful day!