Let us study Vietnam Part 2.
After the big announcements the students all go to the library to do reports on capital punishment.
Stan says to Wendy and Kyle "if Cartman manages to restart the Vietnam War and one person, just one person gets killed then they should change the laws to allow capital punishment for children."
Wendy says "Stan please calm down I mean how is that stupid fat ass going to restart the Vietnam War?"
Stan answered "Wendy with Cartman anything is possible and there's a whole big world out there. Look at the shit that happens in this town alone. Oh and with the recent death of Jenny Simon I mean come on Wendy."
Stan's whole right arm starts to shake uncontrollably.
Kyle says "easy Stan take it easy."
Wendy points out "Oh Stan you're really shaking."
Craig rushes over and says "Goddamn he's shaken up over the death of Jenny Simon."
Stan replied "I'm shaken up over that and the fact I almost died myself."
Kenny puts his hands on Stan's shoulders and says "easy there Stan."
Wendy and Kyle start telling Stan to just breathe deep and slow.
Stan does as he is told and then says "Craig I want to thank you for your support and you also Clyde."
Clyde replied "seeing Jenny Simon's seat empty sends chills up my spine and I hope your seat does not end up empty Stan."
Stan's eyes watered up and Craig said "you don't look so good."
Stan replied "I'll recover but right now I'm weak and shaken. My heart did stop you know."
Craig then went on to say "speaking of stopping hearts would you really support executing Cartman if he caused the Vietnam War to break out all over again?"
Stan turned to Craig and answered "yes because I've learned to love life and if Cartman can't learn to love life at age 10 then maybe he shouldn't live."
Token joins in and says "Cartman should get the fucking electric chair."
Craig disagreed and said "no just do it like in that famous picture where the Vietcong Spy was shot through the head."
Clyde said "hell yeah that was a sweet picture."
Kyle pointed out "not long ago when High School Musical was the in thing Cartman said he was going home to kill himself but he showed up at school the next day. I asked him why he didn't and he said hybrids don't do it anymore. If Cartman were to be executed I want him to go by carbon monoxide gas or lethal injection. It's quick and as much as I can't stand Cartman's character he's a human being even if he's a fat human being."
Kyle starts to giggle and Craig cuts him off and asks "if they strapped down Cartman for a lethal injection would you hold his hand when the lethal drug cocktail started flowing?"
Kyle answered "well Craig yes I would and I'd tell him to lie back and think of fun thoughts and Craig I know the thought of me holding a hand other than your hand makes you jealous."
Everyone laughed at Kyle's smart ass remark except Craig who flipped him off.
Stan cuts in and says "I'm sick of studying the Vietnam War and could we end this debate on capital punishment please? All I want to do is love."
Stan grabs Wendy and she says "Stan we're in the school library quit groping me."
Counselor Mackey comes by and says "Wendy and Stan that kind of behavior is something we're cracking down on I need to see the two of you in my office immediately."
Inside Counselor Mackey's office Stan started to sweat. The counselor stated "you both are very close but you need to keep things appropriate for school umkay?"
Stan shoots back "Wendy gave me the breath of life Mister Mackey so yes we're close. I want to do more than just kiss her. I want to fuck her."
Wendy giggles and Mister Mackey says "Stan let's watch the language umkay."
Stan decides to be a smart ass and says "Mister Mackey when we do it you'll not be allowed to join in and make it a threesome."
Wendy turns her head in shock and says "Stan Marsh!"
Mister Mackey is quite pissed off and says "Stan I should have you suspended from school for that remark. Now look I know your heart stopped and you almost died and that's got to be tough."
Stan yells "IT'S BEYOND FUCKING TOUGH!"
Stan gets up and hits the wall then he breaks down and cries. Wendy takes him in his arms as he wails but after a couple minutes his crying dies down. After 10 minutes he's just moaning in her arms.
Wendy says "Stan you needed to let that out baby you've been through a lot."
Stan apologized to Mister Mackey for being rude and Mister Mackey accepted the apology.
Later that evening Mysterion climbed through Stan's window.
"Hello Stan I'm here to visit you in your hour of need" the dark knighted figure said.
Stan smiled and replied "I think it's really cool the way you're continuing even though Coon and Friends has become defunct."
Mysterion added "speaking of the Coon they're pretty sure he's left South Park. They can't find him."
Stan asked "where do they think he is?"
Mysterion answered "they don't know and if I knew I'd arrest him myself."
Stan said "I hope they shoot him" and then he reached for his inhaler and used it.
Mysterion commented "Stan I'm visiting you in your hour of need and I'm going to see to it that you get the rest you need."
Stan gets in bed and Mysterion goes on to say "it's like I tell my sister rest is important."
Stan immediately said "I'm not your little sister I'm older than you are."
Mysterion replied "oh but Stan you told me you thought it was sweet the way I comforted my sister when we were in that foster home. I must ask don't you think it's sweet I'm here for you now?"
Mysterion laughed but Stan was irritated. Mysterion went on to say "I think it's sweet the way you cried in Wendy's arms today in the counselor's office."
Stan growled and said "Wendy is such a gossip queen."
Mysterion told Stan that he need not worry because Wendy only told him and Kyle that in secrecy and the secret was detained from there on out. Speaking of out Mysterion jumped out the motherfucking window as fast as he came in.
Later that night a prank call is made from the Colorado State Governor's Office to Vietnam.
"All you motherfucking gooks I'm calling from a state official's office and I'm looking to bring back the Vietnam War you sons of bitches. I'd love to rape all your little girls and then beat the shit out of your mothers. I'll bet your grandmothers are stupid and have filthy pussies. You all are good for nothing all you know how to do is pick fucking rice you stupid slant eyed gook bastards. Fuck you all and the fuck the cunts that gave birth to you."
The next day schools were cancelled throughout the USA and President Obama was tied up dealing with Vietnam officials. Mysterion took advantage of having the day off and Kyle went with him. They found Cartman hiding not far from the governor's office in a deep hole.
Mysterion and Kyle both pulled him out. Kyle said "well we caught ourselves a big fat war criminal."
Cartman asked Kyle "hey Kyle what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?"
Kyle said "I don't know" and Cartman said "a pizza doesn't scream in the oven."
Kyle laughs along sarcastically then says "that's a good one" sarcastically and swings a lead pipe into Cartman's head knocking him out.
There was a $1000 reward for finding Cartman since he was reported as a runaway child. Kyle and Kenny split the reward and Kenny was sure damn happy to get $500.
Cartman was taken into custody. He was given a full physical and his hair was checked for lice. The nurse who checked him for lice made obnoxious jokes about it and that pissed off Cartman big time. The medical officials were shocked to see that Cartman had high blood pressure, high body fat, and a high cholesterol level. They told him he should start exercising to which he replied "I'm not fat I'm big boned you fucking assholes!"
ERIC THEODORE CARTMAN PLED GUILTY TO ONE COUNT OF TRYING TO START A WAR IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL LAW. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY SOMEONE UNDER THE AGE OF 14 HAD BEEN CHARGED WITH A WAR CRIME.
There came a witness list for the sentencing phase.
All the witnesses were students in Mister Garrison's fourth grade class.
Kyle got up on the stand and said "Eric Cartman we've known each other since we were babies. The difference between you and me well that's obvious. You've not grown up at all since birth."
Cartman stands up and yells "FUCK YOU KYLE!"
The judge ordered Eric Cartman to sit down or he'd be removed from court.
Kyle went on to say "Cartman I hope you truly suffer when they lock you up. That is all."
Craig got up next and said "Eric Cartman you are a fat disgusting backstabbing lowlife. You are only good at farting and you have no brain whatsoever."
The judge starts to laugh and Eric Cartman's court appointed attorney objects. The judge stops laughing and Craig continues.
"You're a big fat motherfucker and you can shove a long slimy pickle up your fucking ass."
The judge starts to laugh and Cartman's lawyer objects. The judge tells Craig to calm down and soon it's time for Stan to take the stand. When Stan takes the stand Cartman stares him down with a big dirty look on his face.
"Eric Cartman you have no sympathy for anyone. You tricked Jenny Simon into eating cupcakes you tainted with laxatives. You laughed when Kyle was in the hospital and in need of a kidney transplant. You celebrate murder and have no respect for human life. You treat your mother like shit and you treat all your classmates like shit. I hope you get raped in juvenile hall. I hope you get beaten to death like Jeffrey Dahmer you fucking bastard."
Eric Cartman was sentenced to six months in juvenile hall. While Eric Cartman spent his first night of the six month sentence Stan Marsh would be treated much better.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Stan Marsh was naked and lying on his bed.
A dark shadowy figure entered his room and said "Stan you've been very bad."
Stan replied "I've been very bad and you must punish me. Make me scream!"
The dark shadowy figure got on top of Stan and within a few minutes Stan felt a burning sensation. It tingled and it burned but it sure felt good.
Stan started rocking back and forth to the blowjob and moaning.
After five minutes he shot cum into the dark figure's mouth. Afterwards lights were turned on and the two of them had to take time to clean up. After they cleaned up Stan said "Wendy you're truly my splooge drenched blowjob queen."
Wendy replied "Stan you will always be my man."
Stan got in bed and Wendy sang him an old Black Sabbath song to comfort him.
"We sailed through endless skies. Stars shine like eyes. The black night sighs. The moon in silver trees falls down in tears. The light of the night and the earth is a purple blaze of sapphire haze in orbital ways. While down below the trees bathed in cool breeze. Silver starlight breaks dawn from night and so we pass on by. The crimson eye of great god Mars as we travel the universe
Stan Marsh soon fell asleep after Wendy finished the song.