Disclaimer: I don't own Lucky Star or any of its characters. This is a non-profit story for the enjoyment of my readers and me. Enjoy!


Chapter 4: Oh Man, This is Getting Complicated…

Abandonment, desperation, depression, disappointment, shock, doubt, hate, and just a touch of hope. That's what I felt as I sobbed my heart out in Konata's bathroom. About damn time too, all that pent up emotion inside me was taking its toll. But before I go on, maybe I should go back a little so you know exactly what's happening. Maybe you'll understand it better than me.

Going back to earlier that day, when I was with Tsukasa in her room. The spider felled, I comforted her while she cried on her bed. I glanced at the clock, looks like we've already been sitting there for five minutes, although it felt a lot longer. That was probably because I was feeling kinda awkward. I mean, she's never reacted so strongly to a little spider. I had my arm around her, rubbing her back a little. "It's all right, Tsukasa," I assured. "The spider's gone now." Nevertheless, she kept sobbing, although not very loudly. I somehow knew there had to be something more than the spider that was bothering her.

Looking around the room, I saw a book lying on the floor of her room. It looked kinda like it was thrown there. I got up and picked it up, and what I saw was absolutely horrifying. There was a bunch of pictures from our memories. But the truly terrible thing was that in every picture, there was a bright red heart around the head or body of…Miyuki. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

My sister had a crush on the girl that I…I…*sigh* that I am in love with. I admit it; I am in love with Miyuki. Or at least, I think I am. By then, I wasn't even sure. My mind was racing. Should I tell her? No, I can't. I am the older sister, and I need to care for her, no matter what that means. Even if… I sniffed. Oh man. Well, here goes. I turned around and hugged her, disguising my sadness. "Tsukasa, you like Miyuki, don't you?" I asked. I saw the hearts and the evidence, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe it.

She responded with the last thing I wanted to hear: "N-No, I l-love her." She couldn't see it, but my face turned red with a mix of shock, disbelief, and disappointment. My lightheaded sister was brave enough to go out and say something like that so effortlessly and straight-out to me was…appalling, almost. I soon began to cry myself a little. She asked if I was crying, and I made up a crappy excuse that I was glad, because I "like a girl too." I mean, it's entirely true, but not the person she was thinking of. Who was she thinking of, anyway? I didn't know, but I told her not to tell anyone anyway. That's how rumors start, and we all know that's no good.

Soon I left her alone in her room, closing the door behind me. Out of curiosity, I put my ear to the door, and heard Tsukasa humming happily. The disguise of happiness drained from my face. I ran to my room, my mind all jumbled up. I think Matsuri said something to me along the way, but I ignored her. I didn't stop 'till I got to my room. When I did, I just ran in, closed and locked the door behind me, and flopped onto my bed face-down. I laid there for a while, just letting myself gather my thoughts. I didn't cry so much as tears fell out of my eyes. Like, tears came out of my eyes, but I didn't make any sobbing sounds or anything. Does that make sense? Anyway, after a while, I got up and looked at the clock. It was still a while before we have to leave to go to Konata's house. Oh yeah, I still have that manga I borrowed from her. I looked for it and, finding it on my dresser, flopped onto my bed and started reading. Every once and while I had to stop and choke back tears, but other than that it went pretty well.


Lucky Star!


Fast-forwarding now; I was kneeled on the floor, my sister breaking down in my arms. Her face was buried in my shoulder, and I can feel my shirt getting wet. I was kind of still in shock after seeing how hard and out of nowhere Tsukasa hit Konata. Speaking of which, where is that blue-haired otaku? I looked around the room, but she wasn't there. Hm…

I've never seen Tsukasa so broken down like this, I thought as I comforted my sister. At this point, her face was red and covered in tears; she just wouldn't stop crying. What could've possibly done this to her? In my mind, I went through the most recent events. We got here, we entertained ourselves, Konata came home, she told Tsukasa about kissing Miyuki, and…oh no. Well, Tsukasa DID say she…loved…my Miyuki – I mean, that she loved Miyuki. The thought of it made my heart wrench in my chest. No…she can't, Miyuki is…is…mine… Tears tried to force their way through my eyelids again, but I remained strong and held them back.

My thoughts were interrupted at the sound of the doorbell. I got up, rubbed her back a little, and walked to the door. I mean, it's not like Konata was going to answer it, so I might as well. As I opened the door, I was met by Miyuki's worried face. I was almost tempted to hug her violently, but I held back. "Ah, Kagami-san, is Konata-san busy?" she asked. Just hearing her voice was soothing. No, there's no way I can get over her. I knew that if I said anything, I'd burst into tears. Instead, I just shook my head and led her into the living room to figure it out for herself. When they saw each other, they embraced and started sobbing on each other, saying…I don't even know what to each other. I left the room when I couldn't handle the sight of them together like that.

Choking back tears, I walked to Konata's room. I was about to barge in, but I decided for some reason to knock instead, considering the door was closed. I heard a wobbly "C-come in…" come from inside the room. Whoa, that barely sounds like Konata… I open the door and walk in. What I see at first is just what I expected, Konata was on the computer playing Filna Fantasy. But then I realized something was wrong. Soon I noticed that she was sniffing and trembling. "K-Konata? What's wrong?"

Konata seemed to type something along the lines of "afk, brb", and she turned towards me. What I saw was almost horrifying. Her left cheek and eye, the place where Tsukasa hit her, became really bruised. Tears streamed slowly out of her eyes, even the bruised one. "K-Kagamin?" she said, almost whispering it. I was speechless, and could only bring myself to nod quietly. "KAGAMIIIIIIN!" she cried as she jumped up and tackled me in a hug, knocking both of us onto the floor.


Author's Note: Done! Wow, finished the third AND fourth chapters in this story in the same night (yes, it's still the same night to me)! I'm kinda proud of myself, if I do say so myself. I couldn't have done it without all that great feedback I got from the first and second chapters, though. So keep it coming, even if you reviewed before! I don't care how you do it, but I wanna hear your thoughts! Don't make me get the Akira personality out. I'm warning you!

A little side note: it's about time I got my damn pocky! Seriously, I finally tried pocky for the first time today, and I have to say it lives up to my expectation. Most other Americans probably find it only "Meh", but being something of an otaku (as in anime/manga fanatic, not lifeless hermit), I found it amazing. I even did the little "Po-cky!" thing when I broke a piece off with my teeth. Was Kona-chan the one who did that? I don't even remember…it's been a long time since I saw that episode.

Well, I'd love to hear/see your thoughts, and I'll be back with another fanfic soon. Bye-niiii!